"Master Piece Theatre" Written by Broke Ass
Rating: pg
Language is slang and modern English.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, John Donne, or Little John. Dave Chapelle is the flavor of this comedy. If I owned all four of these things, I'd be Japanese, incredibly old, incredibly loud, and hilarious.
Footnote: for tonight's feature, Gaara shall play the part of the Hip-Hop artist Little John.
Cue: classic Baroque music. A montage of literary classics in an old style study room. Notice not a soul in the room. Music cuts and a scene is begun on a vacant stage. An actor approaches, dressed in garb from 1633. Notice the high budget.
Actor
Death be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so-
Gaara
YEEAH!
The actor is startled, for a moment he stares at Gaara in the audience. He tries to get rid of his fear with a sigh. He gestures, raising a hand in a wonder, as if to touch the very face of God. His expression sincere.
Actor
For,those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow, die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me; From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow.
The actor mightily places a hand on each of his hips, as if to challenge death. As if to cuss out death in a dark alley, or diss his mama. Then he drops his hands to his sides, once again, looking to the invisible face of God.
Actor
And soonest our best men with thee do go, rest their bones, and soul's delivery.
Gaara
WHHAT!
Actor
And soonest our best men with thee do go, rest their bones, and soul's delivery.
Gaara
WHAT!
Actor
And soonest our-
Gaara
AH, WHAAT!
The actor stares at Gaara. Stares at him for a small eternity . . .. Then, he regains his composure and assumes his graceful stance again. Looking once more to an invisible God.
Actor
Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men. And poppy, or charms can make us sleep as well. And better than thy stroke; Why swell'st thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, and death shall be no more, Death thou shalt die.
The actor assumes a dramatic, philosophical pose. He then turns to exit the stage. He begins walking off stage.
Gaara
OKAAY!!
The actor trips, surprised, and a great clatter can be herd from off stage. Gaara is then shown, sitting in the audience, clapping. He was the only one in the audience.
Host
This concludes tonight's episode of Master Piece Theatre. Tonight's selection was 'Holy Sonnet 6', written by John Donne, in 1633.
Credits roll, as Gaara remains clapping. Fade to black. The end.
R&R Please