Chapter 2 as promised. I have toned it done a tad for those who had nightmares as a result of the first chapter...(hope your therapy sessions are going well...LOL)...but I kept enough of the angst for everyone to enjoy. Let me just say, I realize the Ryan we know isn't ready to talk about his past...but...that's the perks of being the storyteller. In this one, Ryan might be ready to admit to a thing or two. Without further ado and babbling....ENJOY!

Sitting at the patio table with nothing but his cup of coffee and his thoughts, Ryan absorbed the sunshine and the fresh air. He hadn't felt this awake in a long time. Clearly, this was the payoff of actually being able to sleep at night.

Several days had passed since Ryan's last bout with the nightmares. Kirsten was watching over him day and night, like a hawk. He could tell she was exhausted. He knew she must be getting up several times a night to check on him and he didn't know how she managed to function at work during the day on such little sleep. She never complained. Never even admitted she was tired. And Ryan never admitted it out loud, but he liked the treatment. He liked being checked in on. He liked the nights when she'd pull his blanket over him when she thought he was asleep. It helped him rest at night knowing someone worried about him. Someone actually cared.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear Kirsten come out onto the patio.

"Morning Ryan. Mind if I join you?"

"Yeah, sure."

"You look well rested. Did you have a good night?"

Ryan found the irony in that comment was the fact that Kristen, although completely made up and ready for work, looked like she was hoping to go back to bed instead.

"Yeah it was good." Pausing, he delicately skirted the issue of her nighttime watch. "You know, you don't have to check on me so often. I'll be okay."

Smiling at Ryan, she wrapped her hands around her coffee mug, "I'm sure you would be Ryan. I just can't seem to let go of how bad that one night was for you. That's what keeps me up at night. I can't seem to sleep unless I can see that you're sleeping."

Not knowing what to say to that, Ryan dropped his head and concentrated on his own cup of coffee. The silence seemed to last forever.

"Can I...ask you something Ryan?"

Raising his eyes to Kirsten, he blinked at her several times before nodding. He knew this question was going to be about something he didn't want to talk about.

"The nightmares Ryan. When you have them, are they...are they real?"

Returning his stare to his coffee cup, "What do you mean?"

"The things you see in your dreams...the things that upset you. Are they things that really happened to you?"

Nervously Ryan sat back in his chair and gaped out toward the ocean. Kirsten could see his chest rising and falling rapidly. She knew this was a sensitive subject for him. After some contemplation, he nodded in acknowledgement and turned to see her reaction.

"Maybe I shouldn't have admitted that. Now you're not going to sleep at all."

"No, it's okay. I'd like to know." She hesitated, fighting with her conscience about whether or not to ask him anything further. Ryan had worked hard at burying these sorts of things. She wasn't sure if she was doing him good or doing him harm by talking about them.

"I don't want you to feel you have to talk about this if you don't want to Ryan."

"I just won't answer you if I don't want to," he replied flatly.

"Fair enough. Do you remember the dreams you had the other night?" She watched Ryan take a labored breath and his concentration now turned to a potted plant on the patio. With his eyes fixated on the flowers, he nodded. "When I woke you up, I touched your face. You told me not to, that there was blood there. Do you remember that?"

Ryan's head didn't move but his eyes shot to the side. Even though they weren't making eye contact, Kirsten knew he was reading her. She could sense the wheels in his head turning a hundred miles an hour. Ryan's answers on things of this nature were always curt and well guarded. Kirsten would expect nothing different out of this 'conversation'. Returning his gaze to the flowerpot, he nodded again.

"Was that...real?" As much as Kirsten hoped Ryan would answer that, she truly expected him to tell her he'd had enough. That he was done talking. Not to mention, there was a part of her that was afraid to hear the truth.

Ryan slowly closed his eyes and dropped his head down to his chest. When he opened his eyes again, he locked his gaze on his hands in his lap. And to Kirsten's surprise, he spoke.

"He hit me with a bottle. Jack Daniels. He was drunk. He hurled it at me from about ten feet away. It hit me in the head and it shattered. Cut me."

Kirsten's mouth dropped open. Releasing her grip on her mug, she allowed herself to drop back in her chair and now it was her turn to stare at the ocean. When Ryan shared these bits of himself, his past, she had a hard time relating the boy in the stories to the boy that lived in her home. Sure he got into some trouble now and then, but nothing she would have ever considered beating him senseless over. These glimpses into his life held the key to everything. Why he felt he didn't deserve things, why he kept his mouth shut most of the time, why he handled problems with his fists and most importantly, why he didn't trust anyone.

Shaking her head, Kirsten absent-mindedly asked another question. "Why did he throw it at you?"

"I came home late and the house was a mess. They'd been fighting, my Mom and AJ. I asked what happened."

Kirsten waited for the rest of the explanation.

"That's all there is. That's the reason."

Stunned, Kirsten shook her head as if she made a statement that required emphasis.

"He threw the bottle at me. It hit me and broke. He punched me in the stomach, then he pulled my hair and sent me to my room."

Ryan watched her take in the information. Part of him was embarrassed for telling. Part of him was afraid for telling. It was an unspoken rule. You never talk about the abuse because it always comes back to haunt you. But this was different. He found himself feeling better talking to Kirsten. She was different. It was almost like a release from his past. Very few people knew the truth about Ryan's past. He definitely didn't want Kirsten to know everything. But he found something soothing about talking to her. Even about difficult topics, like his past.

"And I think I said something about tools right?" Ryan continued.

Putting her elbow on the patio table, Kirsten covered her mouth and looked at Ryan with teary eyes. She was the one nodding now, acknowledging his question.

Looking away, Ryan composed himself to give her another explanation. He started speaking to the flowerpot before turning his attention to Kirsten.

"A few days after the bottle incident, my bike was laying on the grass next to his tool box. When I tried to get it to leave, he claimed I stole his tools to work on my bike." Shrugging, Ryan drew invisible circles on the patio table. "I guess he didn't think I learned my lesson from the bottle because he came at me with a tire iron. He broke one of my ribs and he fractured my wrist."

Tears were flowing freely from Kirsten's eyes. She couldn't hide it anymore. She couldn't comprehend how someone could be so mean to this kid. She also couldn't understand how Ryan could talk about these events so dryly as if they were nothing. Then again, this had been his life for years and years. None of this came as a shock to him the way it did to Kirsten.

"That's why I was gagging that morning. The bad ones...it's almost like I can feel it happening to me all over again. You'll never know how relieved I was that I didn't throw up on your coffee table."

"Ryan if something like that does happen, don't even think twice about it. That would be the least of my worries." Pausing, "Thank you Ryan."

"For what?" a nervous laughed escaped and he narrowed his eyes at Kirsten.

"For telling me those things, for trusting me with that information. That means a lot to me."

Raising his eyebrows, he tried to take in that comment. No one ever talked to him like that. It seemed people were more interested in him keeping his mouth closed.

"Just, promise me you won't tell Seth any of this. I don't want him asking me questions about...anything. It was hard enough telling you."

"You have my word. What's talked about on the patio, stays on the patio."

At that moment Sandy opened the door and joined them. "Good morning. I see everyone is enjoying their cup of cof..." Sandy's morning welcome stopped cold in it tracks when he saw Kirsten trying to discreetly wipe the tears from her eyes. Likewise, Ryan was nervously shifting in his seat and seemed awfully interested in his cup of coffee right at that moment. Looking back and forth at the two of them, Sandy wasn't sure who to ask what happened or who he should be more concerned for. "Did I interrupt something? I can go back in..."

Ryan didn't move. Kirsten however jumped out of her seat and tried to make the awkward moment vanish as quickly as possible. "Oh no Sandy it's nothing. Really. Ryan and I were just...bonding." She gave a smile and pecked Sandy's cheek. "I need more coffee." Looking at Ryan, she threw him a wink and a smile before disappearing into the house.

Pulling up a chair, Sandy sat down next to Ryan. "You okay kid?"

"Yeah. We were just talking."

Sandy stared at Ryan. Ryan stared at the ocean. Whatever they talked about, he could see Ryan was still thinking about it. "What are you thinking about?"

Ryan's eyes shot to Sandy. Reading. This kid was a genius when it came to calculated comments. Ryan had an amazing way of revealing only what he wanted you to know and nothing more. And that's if he trusted you enough to reveal an answer in the first place.

"I'm thinking Seth will be up soon and he's gonna want to go to the pier. The new edition of Legion is out today."

Sandy chuckled to himself. The gates of information on Ryan Atwood had just slammed closed. It was obvious he had shared something with Kirsten. And whatever it was, Ryan was determined to keep it between them. Knowing better than to press Ryan too far, Sandy went along with Ryan's lead, "I hope you're hungry. You know you'll be eating soon if Seth is taking you to the pier. I honestly don't know how he can eat as much as he does and stay so skinny. My guess is, you'll be eating Balboa Bars by ten o'clock."

Ryan's half smile expressed relief. He knew Sandy was aware of much more than he was letting on. He could see Sandy was handling him with kid gloves. In a twisted sense, he enjoyed the fact that someone was going out of their way to not upset him. So different from what he was used to. Yet it was something he just might allow himself to get used to.

"I'm going to need more coffee if I'll be eating Balboa Bars in another hour." Sharing a look with Sandy, both frowned at the idea of eating such a thing so early in the morning and Ryan stood up with his cup and went into the kitchen.

As if someone had signaled a changing of the guards, Kirsten emerged with a fresh cup of coffee and set herself down next to Sandy. Sipping from her steaming cup, she locked her vision on the ocean out in front of her. "Sandy, if the wheels in your head were any louder, Ryan will hear it back in the kitchen."

"You can hear that? I thought I was being discreet. It's just that you both looked so upset. Is he okay?"

Nodding, "I think he's okay, for now, or until the next thing from his past comes along to turn him inside out again. I promised him I wouldn't share what he told me." Looking at Sandy, she didn't want to keep secrets from her husband, but on the other hand, right now it was more important that Ryan knew he could come to her in confidence.

"I understand. If he opened up to you, that's great. Take that and run with it. Whether he realizes it or not, it's his way of showing he is getting a little bit comfortable here. I just wish we could do more. I wish there was a magic pill we could give him to wipe out all the bad things that were done to him in the past and replace it with good things. Happy things.

"One day at a time Sandy. We can't undo the bad things over night. He'll be okay. He just needs time."

..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....

Looking out the kitchen window, Ryan watched the Cohen's interacting on the patio. They were so easy to read. They didn't know how to put walls up. They had no 'poker face'. Ryan liked that. For once the people he was dealing with were the genuine article. They said what they meant and they meant what they said. There was no guessing involved. Still he couldn't help but have some anxiety at the information he revealed to Kirsten. It made him feel better talking to her but know he had scenarios racing through his head regarding the outcome of that misjudgment. Visions of being run to therapy sessions for dream interpretations ran through his head. He knew better than anyone that there was nothing to interpret. The horror was real. But normal people, non-abused people, had a hard time fathoming something so terrible could be real without there being an underlying reason. Maybe Kirsten would let it slide. She wasn't telling Sandy about their little talk. Ryan could tell by their interaction there was nothing being revealed. Maybe it will all just go away. Maybe...

"And good morning to you, Mr. Atwood." Seth was especially chipper this morning. Clearly he was excited about getting his hands on the latest comic.

Ryan eyed his newly acquired 'brother' with reservation. "What time are we heading to the pier?"

"Whenever you're done with that coffee. It's not a new cup is it? Because if it's a new cup we won't be able to get there right when the store opens and I'd like to get there right when the store opens. So, is it? A new cup of coffee?"

"Tell you what...I'll skip the rest of my coffee if you promise me I don't have to eat a Balboa Bar."

In true over dramatic fashion, Seth gawked at Ryan in utter shock. "Ryan man, come on! You can't go to the pier and NOT have a Balboa Bar!"

"Seth, it's nine-thirty in the morning."

"Yeah, so? The comic store opens at ten, and then we'll get a Bar. That's almost a whole hour away. Don't be so dramatic. You'll be ready by then. Let's go."

Shaking his head, Ryan gulped what was left of his coffee and followed Seth out the door.

..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....

The sun was deep in the western sky when Ryan headed into the kitchen for an evening snack. Every muscle in his body tensed when he realized Caleb was in the kitchen talking to Kirsten. Having already set foot in the kitchen, it was too late to turn around and walk back out with out it being obvious what, or rather who, was the problem.

"Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in." Caleb's attempt at sarcasm caused Ryan's heart to pound. That comment reminded him of something AJ would have said to him. Ryan was unnerved at some of the similarities between AJ and Caleb. Both were arrogant as hell. Both hated Ryan. Both had the cold searing stares down pat. Both could be intimidating without really trying and when they were trying, they could be downright terrorizing. Ah, and the most obvious relation between the two...neither wanted Ryan around.

"Dad, leave him alone. Ryan can I get you something?" Kirsten offered, trying to stomp out the spark that was now smoldering between the two men in her kitchen.

Forcing himself to pull his eyes off of Caleb, he acknowledged Kirsten, "No...I mean...I just came in for a drink." Slowly crossing the kitchen, Ryan watched Caleb out of the corner of his eye. He didn't' trust him any farther than he could throw him. And, considering the size difference between the two, that spoke volumes.

Ryan opened the refrigerator door and grabbed a bottle of Snapple as Caleb resumed his discussion with Kirsten about one of the developments. The conversation took a heated turn when Caleb started complaining that work wasn't being completed fast enough on the development due to Kirsten being distracted by other things. Ryan couldn't help but turn around and glare at Caleb for making that comment. He knew it was about him.

The conversation continued to escalate with Kirsten defending her work and her family. Caleb's voice was raging. Ryan was thinking this was probably a good time to make himself scarce when Caleb's flailing arm flew unexpectedly in Ryan's direction. Not only did Ryan panic, he resorted to what history had taught him to do...duck and cover. Using his arms to shield his head, he turned away from Caleb. The sudden movement caused him to drop his Snapple bottle and it shattered on the kitchen floor. Ryan could feel his face getting hot with nervous sweat while the kitchen fell silent.

"Oh my God! Ryan...Ryan, it's okay he didn't mean to...he wasn't going to hurt you." Kirsten realized, no matter what she said, her Dad's actions were going to stay recorded in Ryan's mind as a near miss.

Eventually Ryan lowered his arms. His breathing was rapid and his hands were shaking. He looked from Kirsten to Caleb to the broken bottle on the floor. "I broke the bottle."

"Ryan, it's okay. I'll take care of it."

"Wait just a minute," Caleb interrupted with no regard for tact. "You mean you thought I was going to hit you? What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Dad! Stop it! Just be quiet for now!"

Ryan would have loved to have pointed out that with that tone of voice, Caleb would fit right in with Chino's finest when it came to abusive, condescending adults. But before he could finish that thought, embarrassment washed over him and his chest tightened.

"I broke the bottle," he repeated.

"You said that already. We got it the first time. Ki Ki, he needs help. He should be admitted somewhere."

"DAD!!! SHUT UP!!!"

Admitted somewhere. That was the last straw. Ryan nervously looked around for an out.

"Ryan honey, don't move. You're barefoot...the glass! WAIT!"

But Ryan didn't wait. He leaped toward the living room doorway and ran for the front door.

"Hey Ry. Where are you..." the front door slammed as Seth's inquiry was cut short when he reached the bottom stair. Stepping outside onto the driveway, Seth found Ryan holding his chest and gasping for air.

"Oh my God! Ryan? Ryan what's wrong?"

"I can't....breathe..." Ryan gasped.

"I'm getting my Mom don't move!" Racing into the foyer, Seth yelled through the house. "MOM! Come quick! It's Ryan!"

"Oh now what is the matter with that boy?" Caleb complained. "I'm telling you Ki Ki, he's a handful. Not sure you made the right decision here."

Standing up from the floor, Kirsten angrily slammed the folded towel with the glass shards onto the countertop. Disgusted and infuriated, "There is nothing wrong with him other than the fact that people like you treat him the way you do. And I won't have it. Not in my house. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to help my son!" Turning her back to a shocked Caleb, Kirsten ran to the front door.