CHAPTER 20

A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter. This week's been kind of rough. I sprained my ankle Thursday night, so between going to the doctor's and school, I've been sort of busy. But hopefully you guys are still interested and thanks for the reviews on the last chapter!

For those that are looking for the next installment of Before You Wake, that'll be up in the next day or two. Thanks for being so patience, and if I haven't reviewed any of your stories, it's been primarily because I haven't been able to get around to checking the website for updates, but I will get around to it tonight or tomorrow.

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"Jen?"

She nodded. "Hi Mrs. Davis."

Sandra Davis stepped out onto the porch and held the glass door open. "Sweetie are you okay? I didn't know Roger and you were coming up this weekend." She looked back at Jen's car. "Roger didn't come with you?"

"Well no. Not exactly. I just—remember when I was still in high school and you used to tell me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, you'd always be willing to listen?"

"I remember," Sandra nodded.

"I just needed to get out of the city and talk to someone," Jen sighed.

Sandra wrapped her arm around Jen's shoulders and walked her inside. "Of course. Come on, let's go sit down in the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat if you'd like." She opened the refrigerator door and pulled out some lunchmeat, but at the same time watched Jen out of the corner of her eye. Whatever she had come all the way from the city for to talk about, Sandra had a pretty good idea it had something—if not everything—to do with her son.

Jen sat down in the chair at the kitchen table. "Are you sure it's okay? I don't want to impose on you or anything. I know you're busy."

Sandra laughed and shook her head. "If you call busy watching my three grandkids in between doing the laundry and waiting for Jerry to get home. But it's fine. You're always welcome here, no matter what my stubborn son has to say about it." She caught the look on Jen's face and smiled. "So this is about Roger?"

"Yeah. But there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. I just didn't know how."

Sandra sat down across from her at the table and handed her a cup of tea. "Okay honey. Whatever it is you can tell me."

"I just really think I should start from here." Jen reached into her bag and pulled out a white envelope. Opening the crease of it, she pulled out two sheets of paper and placed them on the table. "I think you should take a look at these first."

Roger's mother took the sheets of paper and scanned them.

Abby Nicole Davis

DOB: 03/16/94

Place of birth: New York, New York

Her eyes dropped to the bottom two lines on the certificate.

Mother's name: Jennifer Anne Walsh

Father's name: Roger Michael Davis

Sandra shakily placed her tea mug onto the table and looked at Jen. "Oh sweetie. Oh my god."

Joey walked into the kitchen and tossed his car keys onto the counter. "Hey Mom. Hey Jen." He looked around as if he expected Roger to walk into the room any minute. "Where's Rog?"

"He's in the city," Jen answered.

"Why?" Joey grabbed a soda can out of the fridge and popped the top off. "You should have brought him with you. We all could have went out tonight and partied."

"Joseph," Sandra warned. "Don't you have something to do? Like watch football downstairs?"

"Uh, not really."

"Then do your laundry."

"Aw Mom come on. I just get home and I have to do my own laundry?" He placed his soda can on the counter. "What's for dinner?"

"Joey! You're twenty-one years old! You still live at home! Feed yourself for once!" she half shouted, half laughed at him. "Lasagna."

"What the hell is wrong with living at home?" Joey asked her.

Jen rolled her eyes. "Your mom does your laundry and cooks for you. You can sleep in until noon every day you don't have class. Can't you get an apartment?"

"Shut up Jen," he teased her. "Lindsey sleeps over two days a week anyway. And Heather's nineteen and when she comes home she gets to stay here."

"But they both have places of their own and don't eat everything," Sandra added. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Me and Mike are getting our tattoos done and then we're hanging out at his place."

"Another one?"

"Mom I only have three! And Roger has like ten and you don't say shit to him!" he laughed.

"That's because I'm lucky if I can get Roger to come home. And don't start with me, you have your eyebrow pierced too."

Joey walked over and wrapped his arms around Sandra. "Mom I love you and I promise I'll move out soon."

"Liar."

He grinned and picked up his soda can. "Yeah I know. See ya later." His footsteps thundered down the basement stairs.

Sandra turned back to Jen and sighed. "Well. I guess this makes me a grandma to someone else," she smiled warmly at her.

Jen nodded and wrapped her fingers around the warm coffee mug. "Yeah. I guess it does." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry for not telling you.  I wanted to, but with Roger—"

"I know."

"You know?"

Sandra handed the papers she was holding back to Jen. "I'm not mad at you for not telling, either him or me. Roger—well he was pretty bad. So far gone with the drugs that the next phone call I expected to get from him was one telling me he was dead. We, both me and Jerry, along with Mark, got him into rehab three times. The first two stints didn't work, but the third time did. After the last time he started returning to his old self. But I don't blame you for not telling him about Abby. He couldn't take care of himself."

"I know."

"But is Abby the only reason you came up here to talk to me?"

Jen glanced at the clock. It was already after seven, but she couldn't remember the last time she had ever felt so tired. "Sort of. It's just really hard to talk to Roger lately. I guess I'm starting to feel like me going back there was a huge mistake in the first place."

"Oh honey don't say that. All couples have to go through a bunch of—well, shit, to find themselves on common ground. After I divorced Roger's father, it took me a long time to learn how to balance a job along with providing for five kids—two of which were under six years old. But then things started getting better. I met Jerry, and all of the kids get along with him."

"Yeah."

"But if it helps you any, you and Roger have been going back and forth for almost ten years now."

"More off than on," Jen pointed out. "It's just hard."

"He really loves you." Sandra stood up and put her coffee cup in the sink.

"I know."

"Sweetie Roger's always going to be Roger. The same stubborn, adorable, pain in the ass that we all love to hate sometimes. But whether Roger turns over a new leaf or not, he'll still love you. Just like I'll love Abby now as if I had been there since the day of her birth."

"Thank you."

"Why don't you go lay down in Roger's room? You look like you could use some sleep. And I'll make you breakfast in the morning because god knows I'll be making chocolate chip pancakes for the ten year old downstairs," she laughed, referring to Roger's younger brother.

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Of course!" she laughed.

"Thanks Sandra." Jen kissed her cheek as she passed into the living room.

"No problem sweetie. Goodnight."

"Night."

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Joey Davis grabbed his cell phone from the coffee table in the basement and speed dialed the loft's number. On the third ring, Roger's voice came over the line.

"Hello?"

"Loser! Come home and watch the playoff game with me. Why didn't you come up with Jen?"

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Roger parked Maureen's Acura in his driveway and quietly shut the driver side door. It was getting late—almost close to eleven. After making sure Abby was down for the night, Mark had offered to watch her so he could drive up to Scarsdale to work things out with Jen.

Since he figured his mom and Jerry were asleep by now, he walked around the back of the house and used the spare key hidden under the flowerpot to unlock the kitchen door. He quietly took of his boots and slipped through the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. Although he knew Jen had probably stayed at his mom's, he was surprised to find her asleep in his bed.

He shook his head and crouched down before her, brushing some of the hair out of her face. "Jennifer."

She stirred and opened her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, the last time I checked this was sort of my house?" he answered her sarcastically. "What are you doing here?"

Frustrated, she sat up. "I told you. Getting away."

"That's just real fucking great Jen. Show up to my house and start bitching about me to my mom."

"I wasn't bitching to your mom. Jesus Christ, everything's not about you," she argued back at him.

Roger watched her stand up and pull her jacket on. "Can I talk to you without you getting pissed and taking off?"

"What about?"

"Did you tell her about Abby?"

Jen looked at him before walking out of his room and down the hall.

"Shit!" Roger shouted after her. He slammed his bedroom door a little too loudly and jogged out the front door and down the steps into the driveway. "Jen come on! Cut the shit!"

She had already headed down the sidewalk and towards the park. The cold rain had started up again and was starting to drench them both as it fell in sheets. "You're an asshole Roger!"

He ran down the block after her, trying to avoid the puddles that were forming where the water hadn't drained out of the driveways. "Did you tell her about Abby?" he shouted at her.

"Maybe I did!"

"Why! Why would you do that?" Jen had already crossed the street and was heading into the small park as Roger stood there on the corner. "God that was so stupid!"

Jen ignored him and kept walking through the soggy grass. "Why? It's not stupid! She's your daughter Roger! I didn't just make her myself!"

"I fucking know that!" Frustrated, he stopped near the swing set. "Can you stop for a minute? What are you trying to do? Walk to New Rochelle in the fucking rain?"

"So what!"

"I'm not arguing with you! What's this really about Jen? Is it about me being a terrible father because I haven't been there for three years? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"Maybe."

"That was your fucking decision. You kept her from me. You think if I knew about her I'd want to stay away from her? You're fucked up in the head Jen."

"Oh thanks. Says my very compassionate boyfriend."

"I don't think having sex with someone makes them have a relationship."

She turned around and started walking back over to him. "Yeah? Then what's with the redhead you fucked Roger? What was her name? April? Didn't that turn into a relationship?"

"Drop it."

"No! So what are you really saying? That Mimi wasn't a relationship either?"

"She was. She was everything to me."

"And what was I?"

"How did you know about them?"

"Mark told me! Mark of all people! Mark always had to be the one to tell me everything! It could never come from you!" she screamed at him. "What was I to you Roger? Huh? Just another pretty face? A good lay?"

"Cut it out! You were everything to me at one point too and you fucking know it! God Jen don't you get it? I wanted to fucking marry you! I wanted to have kids with you. I wanted that fucking house with the little white picket fence and the dog. I wanted all of that! But shit happened and I fucked up! Everything's different now and I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted me to say for so long? I'm sorry."

Jen sat down on the bench underneath the tree. Her clothes were drenched, along with her hair and shoes. Roger didn't look much better. But as they stood there, close to midnight and screaming their heads off at each other about everything that happened in the past in their old hometown, she realized that this was it. It didn't get much better than this—what they had. She knew that she would never find someone who could complete her the way Roger did.

"I know. I know you are," she said quietly. "And I'm sorry."

He sat down next to her and took her hand in his. "Jen—"

"I know I'm being stupid," she sobbed. "I'm always stupid about this. I always have been. But don't you understand Roger? I can't do this without you. You were always everything to me too."

"Jen listen to me." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "I can't promise you that I'll live forever. I can't. Not anymore."

"I know that!" she cried. "I know."

"Marry me. Jennifer Anne Walsh, I want you to marry me. I should have asked you this a long time ago, but I'm asking you now."

"Do you call that a marriage proposal?"

He shrugged. "Yeah I guess I do. So what, are you gonna leave a guy hanging?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes I'll marry you." She looked around them and pulled a few strands of her hair off her forehead. "When did it start raining this hard?"

"When you decided to throw a tantrum and walk the one block from my house to the park," he teased her.

"Sometimes that's the only way you'll listen."

"Funny." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they continued their walk back to his house. They reached the house and Roger opened the unlocked front door. Trying to avoid making as much noise as possible, they both took off their shoes and then hung up their soaked jackets in the closet.

Jen walked down the hall and into the bathroom. Roger followed and leaned against the wall, watching her wring out her shoulder length brown hair into the tub. "Shower or bed?"

"Shower. Definitely shower," he suggested. He turned the water on and winked at her. "Let's go."

She smiled and pulled off her shirt. "You're really charming."

"What can I say? I've been working on it." With that said, he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the shower with him.

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