CHAPTER 30
A/N: Thanks to my wonderful reviews. Love you all.
As a heads up, I will be changing my pen name to emotional-static. Basically just the original, somewhat longer version of em0xstatic.
Just a reminder; Jesse is Benny and Alison's three and a half month old son, and Sandra is Roger's mother.
Enjoy!
* * * *
MID MARCH 1998"Do you want some? I have enough."
Roger watched Beth pull one of his tee shirts on over her bare torso and shrugged. "I don't know."
She tied her curly hair back loosely and smiled at him. "You sure? It'll just take me a second to cut up another line for you." Beth crawled towards him and kissed him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He shut his eyes and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. I have that thing today."
Beth slid off the bed and stood up. "That thing meaning Abby's birthday party?"
"Yeah."
She slipped out of the room and into her bathroom, where Roger heard the sound of her cutting the cocaine lines. "What time are you supposed to be there?"
Roger groaned at the way Beth had just said there. He knew that Beth had lived in the Upper East Side her whole life and rarely visited the East Village except to go clubbing. She had more money than most of the families in Scarsdale—even Jen's family. But when he saw her, he was so damn attracted to her, any thought of Jen or Abby faded away. Roger hadn't even seen Abby for three weeks now. Today was her fourth birthday, and he knew he couldn't blow off this one. The messages had been building up on his cell phone from Jen, and with each one he was tempted to call her back. And say what? Sorry baby, I've been a fool? He never did call, and each one was deleted. He was pushing his friends and family away for weeks now because of some perfect stranger.
He opened the bedroom door that Beth had previously closed and walked out into the spacious living room. It was modern and airy, with two floor to ceiling windows that overlooked Park Avenue. A black leather couch and matching loveseat were positioned in the middle of the room, and an expensive glass coffee table was set in the middle. Roger glanced at the view for a quick second before passing into the kitchen. There was no doubt in his mind that Beth was definitely paying out of the ass for this place.
He heard the faint sound of Beth snorting lines next to the porcelain sink. He in fact knew exactly where she was because he had spent so many mornings watching her do it to herself, and then in turn, she'd cut a few for him and Roger would do the same. Roger carelessly poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip of it. It tasted bitter and it suited him well. He spotted his black cell phone next to the stove and picked it up. It vibrated once to let him know he had a new voicemail.
"Roger, it's Jen again. Just um, letting you know that today is Abby's fourth birthday. Mark and everyone will be at my apartment around three, so if you're coming, that's great. Abby would really like to—
There was a pause, and then Roger heard Abby come over the line. "Daddy! It's my birthday today! I'm four! Are you coming? I miss you, Daddy. You just have to come 'cause Mark and Mommy said you better or else. I think they're mad at you—I love you Daddy—"
Jen's voice continued once again. "Like I said, Abby really wants to see you. Well, I guess we'll see you later. Bye."
Roger clicked the phone off and placed it back on the counter. He sloshed the liquid in his mouth before swallowing, just as Beth came out of the bathroom rubbing underneath her nose. She crossed into the kitchen and smiled at him, leaning against the wall.
"Who was on the phone?"
"Uh, no one." He ran his fingers through his hair and walked over to her, kissing her neck. "You done in there?"
Beth nodded and pulled her hair free from its holder. "Yeah. Need a shower?"
"Kind of."
"Want some company?" she asked cheerfully. "I probably won't get to see you until later tonight when I meet you at the airport…"
Roger stared at her, confused. "Wait, what do you mean?"
"Remember? I have class in an hour and then we're going to London tonight? Because I have that modeling shoot this weekend and they need me on location?" She laughed and kissed his forehead. "I booked the tickets a week ago and must have told you five times since then," she laughed. "But you don't have to go if you don't want to."
"No, I'll go," Roger reassured her. "It's almost eleven. You're gonna be late for class."
"Oh yeah." Beth tossed her blonde hair over her shoulders and laughed. "Class. Two more months until I graduate. I guess I'll see you later tonight then?"
"If you wanted to come to Abby's birthday party you could—" he blurted out. Shit. He instantly regretted it. Beth had walked into her bedroom and was scanning the contents of her closet. She instantly pulled off his tee shirt and quickly pulled on a black bra and a white v-neck sweater. Roger followed and watched her quietly.
"What were you saying?" She tugged on a pair of tight black pants and stiletto heels.
"That you could come to my daughter's party with me if you wanted to," he added.
"You sure? I wouldn't want to piss anyone off," she replied. "Burn any bridges, you know."
"Don't worry about it. I mean, I've been seeing you for what? Almost a month now. They'll have to meet you sooner or later."
"They meaning who? Your ex girlfriend and your daughter?"
"And my friends," Roger explained.
She shrugged and twisted her blonde hair up into a clip. It looked very sophisticated and elegant. Exactly how someone with money would wear it. He shook his head at these thoughts and gave her a smile instead. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. I'll come after class is over."
"It starts at three."
"I'll meet you back here at two thirty." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek, then moved down to his lips.
Roger returned the kiss and watched her grab her coat and purse from the chair. "Just don't do anymore lines today before we go."
"I'll uh, try not to," Beth smiled sweetly. "I'll see you later."
After Beth had left the apartment, Roger showered quickly and ran some gel through his hair. Even though he had told Beth not to snort any more coke for the day, he did a few lines himself before he got dressed. He didn't know what the hell to do anymore. After that one night at the club, they had both ended up back at her apartment and basically had a one night stand. Except that one night stand continued into a daily relationship ever since then. It had been almost a month now with Beth. He had been spending almost every waking and breathing moment with her. He had taken her to class, visited her dealer, gone shopping with her and out to lunch. They had spent the afternoons in bed, sipping expensive champagne while they were high from the cocaine. He wasn't going to lie and say he didn't enjoy the feeling he was getting, because he was. Roger didn't have to worry about a thing. There was no Abby seeking his attention, no Mark constantly worrying about him, and certainly no Jen nagging at him about their relationship problems. Beth was his escape—his release into a world that he told himself he would forget about a long time ago. Beth was his new April.
He wanted to hate Beth for what she was doing to him. She was making him forget the things that had previously mattered the most. He couldn't hate her though. He was lusting after her and the security she gave him.
How much longer could Roger keep up with this act?
* * * *
"Uncle Mark! Grandma's here!"
Mark removed his hands from Maureen's waist and laughed. "Coming, Abby! Give me a second or have Uncle Benny open the door!"
"Uncle Benny's with the baby!" Abby shouted loudly. "She can't wait at the door forever, and Mommy says I'm not allowed to let anyone in for anything, even if I know 'em!"
Maureen kissed Mark on the cheek and pushed him away. "Duty calls," she laughed.
"I'll make up for it later," Mark promised.
"We'll see," she laughed, carrying a tray of potato chips out into the living room of Jen's apartment. "Where the hell is Jen at? Is she still taking a shower?"
Collins looked up from the newspaper he was reading and shrugged. "Hasn't come out of the bathroom for a good forty five minutes now. I'd take that as a yes."
Mark opened the apartment door and Mrs. Davis walked in, carrying two shopping bags. "Hi Sandy," he greeted her.
Sandra kissed Mark on the cheek and gave him a tight hug. "You look so good, Mark. How have you been?"
"I've been okay. Working a lot, but okay."
"Grandma!" Abby jogged from her bedroom to Roger's mother and attached herself to the woman's knees. "I missed ya!"
Sandra knelt down and picked the toddler up. "Happy birthday sweetheart. How are you?"
"I'm good! Did you bring Daddy with you?"
Mark caught Sandra's apprehensive glance and cleared his throat. "We think he might be coming a little later, Abby. But even if he doesn't, you'll have me, Maureen, Collins, Logan, Benny, Alison, and Jesse. Plus your mom and your grandma. How's that sound?"
"Okay. But I still wish Daddy would come."
"We'll see, honey," Sandra reassured the four year old. "How about you show me that new room of yours?"
"Okay." Abby took her grandmother's hand and led her towards her bedroom, while Mark turned back to Maureen.
"That was close," he remarked.
Maureen nodded and smiled sadly. "Let's just hope Roger comes. Did Jen call him?"
"Yes." Collins looked up once again. "Like usual, he never called back."
"Damn," she muttered, frustrated. "Where the fuck has he been lately?"
"Last I heard, he was spending a lot of time with some blonde. Brenda or something," Mark admitted. "Jen doesn't know, so don't slip it to her. I don't want to upset her anymore than she already is."
"Her name is Beth," Collins corrected him. "Roger talked to me about her when we had lunch last week. I just about wanted to beat some sense into him, but I didn't really want to ruin my day."
Maureen laughed. They never usually saw this side of Collins. "That's not like you at all."
"Its also not like Roger," he pointed out.
"Ain't that the truth," Mark stated miserably. "I'm really starting to worry about him—"
Maureen's head shot up when she heard the bathroom door open. Jen walked out steadily, holding a towel in one hand and. She smiled at them softly before placing the towel in the hamper.
"Hey. I heard the doorbell ring. Was it Roger?" Jen asked quietly.
"No, it was Roger's mom," Maureen told her. "Sandra's in the bedroom with Abby."
"Oh okay. I'll go and say hi in a minute." Jen walked into the kitchen, leaving Mark, Maureen, and Collins behind in the living room.
Mark followed her, watching as Jen carelessly put away a few dishes. "Jen? Are you okay?"
She shrugged and shook her head. "I um, I don't know Mark. I want to say that I am, but I don't know if I can do that."
He nodded and studied her face for a minute. He saw the tired expression that was now imprinted into her face and the bags that had formed underneath her eyes. She had gotten so thin, and so much paler since she had moved out of the loft a little over a month ago.
"Are you feeling okay? You spent a lot of time in the bathroom this morning, and come to think of it, you said you haven't been feeling good when I've talked to you on the phone…" Mark didn't want to intrude. This wasn't his place to, but he was concerned about her.
"I'm fine," she defended herself loudly. "You don't have to worry—" Mark saw her chin start to tremble. "Worry about, about me," Jen tried to finish. Instead she started crying and Mark immediately pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.
"Shh," Mark comforted her. "Everything's okay, Jen."
"No it's not!" Jen pushed Mark's arms away and leaned up against the counter, sobbing. "I don't know what to do! I can't balance work, and being a single mother at the same time. I feel like I'm suffocating, and I've been so sick lately and throwing up constantly—Jesus Christ, Mark, Roger's avoiding me." She dropped her voice a few levels and finally met his eyes. "Mark, I'm pregnant. I know I am. I can't pass it off as the flu or food poisoning any longer as much as I want to. I just thought you should know."
"You're sure?" he stuttered. "Jen, what, how far along? Are you sure? Roger's?" Mark couldn't even form the words. He felt like an imaginary hand had just grabbed his chest and was slowly squeezing the air out of it.
"It's been a little over eight weeks since Travis—eight weeks," she finished quietly.
"Travis?" Mark managed to get out. "You're sure?"
"Goddammit Mark don't ask me that!" Jen hissed at him. "It can't be Roger's! We were always so damn careful, and we hadn't had sex since New Year's Eve. Two weeks later Travis raped me. You do the fucking math!"
There it was. Jen had never admitted to being raped before. She acknowledged she had to Mark, Roger, and everyone else, but never had used it in a sentence before. It was always referred to as "what Travis did". Never rape.
"I'm sorry, Jen, that was stupid of me," Mark apologized. "I just—okay. Have you been to the doctors?"
"No," she mumbled. "Not yet. I set up an appointment for next week."
"Do you want me to--?"
"Please."
He nodded. Mark knew he needed to go to that appointment with her. God knows Roger was being anything but helpful at this point.
"All right. I'll do anything for you Jen, you know that, right?"
She blinked back tears and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love you so much Marky. I know I don't tell you that enough, but I do. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry. You'll be fine. Whatever you choose to do about the baby, you'll be fine." He kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly.
"Okay," she breathed softly. "Just please Mark. The baby isn't Travis'. I'll do anything, I'll make up any story I have to. I'll even tell everyone it's yours or some long lost boyfriend's. It just can't be Travis'. If anyone asks, it's Roger's baby. Maybe because deep down I want it to be Roger's baby so badly. Just please Mark, no one can know it's Travis'. Not any of Roger's friends, and not Travis himself. I'm hoping he's stupid enough not to even figure it out when word gets out that I am pregnant. Okay? Promise me?"
Mark nodded and grabbed Jen's hands to stop her from shaking and rambling onward. "I promise. Now promise me something?"
"What?" She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.
"Promise me you'll go out there and put on a brave face for everyone. For Abby. Make her fourth birthday great, okay?"
Benny entered the kitchen with three and a half month old Jesse cuddled against his shoulder. "Party's getting a little bit stale out there," he joked. "Everything okay in here?"
Jen smiled brightly and grabbed a juice pack for Abby off of the counter. "Everything's fine. Just finishing up with the—"
"Cake! The cake," Mark added quickly. "Just um, icing Abby's cake."
Benny eyed his former roommate curiously and laughed, patting Jesse's back softly. "Uh, okay. I'll see you both out there." He shook his head and looked back at them. "You two, man, what would I do without you two?"
Mark grinned. "You'd be lost."
"Probably," Benny chuckled as his left the kitchen.
Jen was just about to head out into the living room, but turned back abruptly. "Mark?"
"Hmm?" He looked up from the counter, where he had been staring off into space. "Yeah?"
"Did I ever tell you what Abby's name meant?"
"You mean the meaning behind it?" Mark questioned.
"Yes."
He shook his head. "No, you never did."
"It means my father's joy."
"Oh god Jen…"
She shook her head and stepped out of the kitchen some. "I knew from the minute I set my eyes on her that Roger would love her. She was just this tiny, helpless baby. And I loved her more than I had ever loved anything in my life. I'd do anything for her, and I one point I'd do anything for Roger. I just hope Roger realizes how much he really does love her before it's too late." Jen backed away and left the kitchen, leaving Mark alone with his thoughts.
* * * *
The doorbell rang shortly after four o'clock. Benny, Mark, and Collins had been reminiscing about the good old days with a pack of Coors on Jen's couch for the past hour. Baby Jesse had fallen asleep after Alison had fed him, with a little bit of Abby's help. Afterwards, Alison, Roger's mother, Maureen, and Jen had sat around in the kitchen, laughing as they talked and were entertained by Abby.
"Roger and Mark had the cutest little butts when they were growing up. Oh you should have seen them in their swim suits," Sandra laughed as she cleaned up the cake plates in the sink. "Mark, Benny! Answer that damn door, it won't open itself!"
Maureen took a sip of her martini and giggled. "Mark's butt is definitely still very cute."
"What?" Mark shouted over.
"Aunt Mo said you got a cute booty!" Abby called out, laughing.
Benny and Collins snorted at Mark as he went to open the apartment door. "Goddamn Mark, even my wife doesn't tell me my ass is cute anymore."
"Benny, your ass is very cute," Alison called over, laughing. "Come over here!"
"Ah, wife calls!"
Collins laughed, but frowned when he saw Roger and a blonde he assumed was Beth standing uncomfortably in the hallway. "Roger. Long time no see."
"Hi Collins." Roger took of his leather jacket and hung it on the hook. Beth did the same. "Um, this is Beth."
Collins politely stood up and shook Beth's hand. "Thomas Collins."
"Beth Merteuil."
Jen leaned over Maureen's shoulder in the doorway that connected the hallway to the living room. She could see Roger, but neither he nor his "guest" could see her.
"Ugh. Who the hell did he bring with him?"
Maureen let out a hushed giggled and pulled out the olive from the bottom of her martini glass. "Beth Merteuil," she repeated in a snobby, squeaky voice.
Jen laughed. "Ooh Roger, should we screw now or later. Oh Roger!"
Maureen rolled her eyes and laughed harder, swallowing the olive. "He probably heard us."
"Fuck him."
"Mmm she probably is," Maureen noted. "Come on, let's go back to the kitchen." She grabbed Jen's arm and pulled her down on a chair.
"I'll be damned if some fucking barely legal princess prances into my life and tries to take Roger away," Jen said bitterly, downing the rest of Maureen's martini with one sip. "Beth Merteuil. She better put up a good fight, because she'll be sorry she ever met me."
Maureen blinked and poured more of the martini into the glass. "I guess she's in for it then."
"I guess so."
Abby ran through the room and down the hallway. "Daddy!"
Jen ran her fingers through her dark brown hair. This was going to be one of Abby's birthdays she would never forget.
* * * *
Note: Beth is somewhat based upon the character of Kathryn from Cruel Intentions. I did borrow Kathryn's last name from the movie and used it as Beth's, so I don't own it. If you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you check it out if you have the time, because it's definitely worth checking out. Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon also start in it.
More drama coming up, so don't forget to review! =]