CHAPTER 31
A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter! Daydreamer731, the-fraulein, Kelby, Amy, Jan, EMI, and stifflersmom. Thank you. =]
Hope you all enjoy this chapter.
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"Mommy?" Abby peered into the bathroom, where Jen was sitting up against the wall, resting her head in her hands.
"What baby?"
"Are you sick?"
Jen nodded and looked up at her daughter. "Kind of. But I'll be okay in a little bit."
"Oh. 'Cause it's almost eight and don't I got to go to preschool?" Abby asked, jumping around from foot to foot.
"Shit. Can you go get me the cordless phone on the coffee table? I'm going to call Uncle Mark and see if he can take you for me today."
"Why?"
"Because I'm sick, sweetie, and I don't want to get you sick," Jen lied. She reached her hand up and ran her fingers through Abby's wavy light blonde hair. "Go get the phone for me, okay?"
"Okay Mommy." Abby ran out of the bathroom and returned a few seconds later with the black cordless phone. "Here."
"Thanks. Why don't you go get your shoes on for me and I'll help you tie them in a minute." Jen dialed the loft number as Abby ran out of the room once again.
"Hello?" Maureen's sleepy voice came over the line.
"Hey, it's Jen. Is Mark around?"
"Yeah, he's right here. Hold on. Is everything okay?"
"Kind of."
"Okay." Jen heard some background noise and Mark talking to Maureen in a low voice. Apparently she had woken him up, which was exactly what she didn't want to do. Shit.
"Jen?"
"Hey Mark. Sorry, did I wake you up?"
"No, I was already up. Just in the kitchen getting some coffee. What's wrong?"
Jen rested her hand against her forehead and cradled the phone against her ear. Another wave of nausea was passing through her, and she was trying to fight it down long enough so she could carry out the conversation with Mark. "I just—um, I'm not feeling too good and I don't think I'll be able to make it out the door to take Abby to preschool today. But if you're sleeping, I didn't want to bother you…"
"I'll take her and pick her up. Don't worry about it. What time does she need to be there for and want time does she need to be picked up?"
"She needs to be there at eight thirty and picked up at twelve thirty. I'm really sorry, Mark."
"No, don't even worry about it. It's not a problem. I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Okay. Thanks Mark."
"Anytime. Bye." Mark hung up the phone with Jen and crawled back onto the bed next to Maureen. She had her eyes closed again and was propped up on her side, facing him. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, causing her to automatically open her eyes. "Hey you."
"Hey," she yawned. "Is Jen okay?"
Mark nodded and pulled on a pair of jeans. "She's dealing with pretty bad morning sickness, so I'm taking Abby to preschool and picking her up later on. I should be back around nine latest."
"Okay sweetie. I'll probably just go back to sleep anyway."
"Lazy," Mark chided her, laughing. "I'll see you later then?"
"I already told you, I'll still be sleeping," Maureen smiled. "Hey um, I wanted to talk to you later. If that's okay."
"Yeah that's fine. Are you okay?"
She nodded and tossed her dirty blonde curls over her shoulder. "Yea. I just want to talk to you, that's all."
"Okay. I'll be home in a little bit." Mark kissed her and Maureen wrapped her arms around his neck. "What, afraid to let me go?"
"Something like that," Maureen replied as she nuzzled her head into Mark's shoulder.
He kissed her forehead and smiled. "I'll see you later."
Maureen nodded and watched him leave the room. A few seconds later, the loft door slammed shut, signaling Mark's leave. She sighed and flipped over onto her stomach, rubbing her cheek against the pillows.
Why was Mark so good to her all the time?
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Jen pulled herself out of the bathroom when she heard the doorbell ring again. Mark and Abby had left for preschool not even five minutes before, so she easily figured that they had turned around because Abby had forgotten something, as she did from time to time. She scanned the loft for a missing glove or hair clip of Abby's, but found nothing. Sighing, she walked slowly to the door while resting her hand against her pounding head. She didn't remember ever being this sick when she was pregnant with Abby. She unlocked the metal chain and slid the door opening, coming face to face with surprisingly—Roger.
He looked straight at her and ran his fingers through his hair. His roots were starting to grow out again and Jen noticed he probably hadn't shaved that morning. But she overlooked all of this as she started to feel nauseous again, because being angry with him just wasn't enough.
"Hi," Roger finally spoke. "Um. Wow."
"Wow what?" Jen asked him bitterly. "Did you come all this way to piss me off or something?"
"No, I just. Jen, you look really thin. Different," he said quickly.
"Oh thanks. You come all this way to tell me I look like shit then?"
He dropped his hands to his side and shook his head. "Can I come in? I think we have to talk."
"I think you should leave." She tried to slam the door in his face but he blocked it open with his bad shoulder and part of his hand.
"Jen. Please. Just let me come in and we can talk."
She relented, only because she was starting to feel dizzy again and was in no mood to argue with someone as stubborn as Roger Davis. "Fine. Sit. Talk." Jen brushed past him and went straight into the kitchen where she poured herself a glass of ice water. She took a cube out of the glass and started chewing on it, hoping it would settle her stomach somewhat.
Roger took of his jacket and sat down on the couch, watching Jen chew on the ice cubes. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Look, did you want to talk or not? And why are you here? Don't you have some blonde to screw or something?"
"Jen, I just—dammit. You think you can hold back on insulting me long enough to let me get a fucking word in so I could talk to you? That's why I came all the way over here."
Jen had stopped listening to Roger and instead turned her back on him and headed straight for the sink. She considered running to the bathroom, but knew there was no way she would have made it there on time before throwing up half way. This was so disgusting. She couldn't—didn't want to have to deal with this right now. Instead, she barely made it to the sink before emptying her stomach.
"Whoa, Jen." Roger was on his feet and making his way automatically towards her. "Are you sick?"
She shrugged and rinsed her mouth out with the running faucet water she had just turned on. "That's not your business, okay? So just talk to me about what you had to talk to me about before I throw up on you!"
Roger winced slightly. "You know what? Then just forget it. I thought I could come here and talk to you without you biting my fucking head off but apparently I thought wrong. So forget it, fuck you. I'm leaving."
Jen didn't bother to turn around from the sink, but heard the door slam loudly and knew Roger had left the apartment. She didn't even have time to react to him. She was feeling so sick, and it was almost as if he hadn't even been there. In a daze, she spotted a white business envelope sitting on her coffee table that certainly hadn't been there before Roger had walked in. She tucked a few strands of her layered shoulder length hair behind her ears and opened it.
Paternity test regarding Abby Nicole Davis.Jen scanned a few more lines of the letter, her mouth hanging open. She tightened her grip around the paper and immediately saw red. Why? Was Roger questioning the fact that he was even Abby's father? Fuck him. It was a damn good thing he had left, because there was no telling what she would have done if she found the paper when he was still here, with her. Hastily grabbing a gray sweatshirt jacket from her closet, Jen pulled it on roughly and flung herself out into the hallway, barely making sure to close the door behind her. She took the steps almost two at a time, trying to reach the street level as quick as she could from the fifth floor of her apartment building. She saw Roger ahead of her, just having turned the street corner. She dashed after him, weaving her way in and around the early morning crowds in an attempt to catch up with him.
Jen grabbed a hold of Roger's arm. "Why are you doing this to me?" she shouted at him.
"What?" Roger stared down at her, shifting his cigarette to his other hand. "What are you talking about?"
"This!" Jen shoved the piece of paper into his chest and Roger automatically grabbed it, pulling her next to a brick wall so he could read it. "Why Roger? Just tell me why?"
"Jen, it's not what it looks like!" The sound of a cab honking its horn was starting to drown out his words, and Jen had to lean in closer to hear what he was trying to say. "I just needed you to sign something!"
"Sign what? You don't think you're Abby's father! Why should I sign anything?" she hissed at him. "That's what it is, wasn't it? A paternity test so you could try and claim that Abby wasn't yours and you and Beth could take off somewhere, away from me and from your daughter?"
I'll just close my eyes and whisperBaby, blind love is true
"What? No!" Roger shouted at her. "God, why do you have to twist everything around and make it into something it's not! I needed to take the goddamn paternity test and have you sign off on it because I wanted to file for child support for Abby! Is that so fucking hard to believe? I mean god, I may be an asshole but I'm really trying not to be a bad father here."
I want to lay you down on a bed of rosesFor tonight I sleep on a bed of nails
I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is
And lay you down on a bed of roses
Jen paused and didn't know what to say. She was wrong. She had thought he was denying that Abby was his child, but he wasn't. Roger was trying to do a good thing and she had jumped to conclusions.
"I um, I, I didn't think—"
"Yeah, right. Whatever."
Jen took the paper back from him and turned around, heading back in the direction of her apartment. She wiped carelessly at her eyes, trying to blink back the tears that she couldn't remember crying minutes ago.
"Jen, wait." Roger jogged after her and gently grabbed her shoulder. "What's going on?"
"Just don't touch me. You of all people have no right to touch me at all after what you did to me," Jen told him. "You—god Roger, why? Why? You promised me you wouldn't leave me again. You promised you would be there for me after what happened with Travis. You left me and Abby."
Roger didn't know what to say. Jen was right in a way. He had abandoned them both, but Jen was just as responsible for it as he was. They had both caused that argument back in February. "I know, but it wasn't all my fault! We had an argument, Jen. We said a lot of things out of anger. Dammit, if I could I would go back and change it all but I can't. I wish I didn't hurt you again like I did. I don't know what to tell you. I know sorry's not good enough. I'm sorry, but I can't change anything. It already happened."
"Yeah. Roger, I'm so fucked up."
If Jen had any idea what he had been putting in his body and what he had been doing on weekends with Beth, she'd instantly take that comment back. He was the one who was truly fucked up, not her. He knew in an hour or so he'd need another line of cocaine. He'd be high again. He'd go back to Beth and they'd have sex. Then do more lines of coke. Then have some more sex. Roger was really starting to hate himself for what he was doing lately. He was going back on a promise he had made to Mark. To Collins. Even to his own mother and to Jen. No more drugs after rehab. Ever. He had already broken it. After almost three years of being clean, he had broken it. For almost the first time in his life, he was truly ashamed of himself.
"Jen, look, let's just go back to your place, okay? It's freezing out, and you don't even have a coat on. Okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
Roger and Jen made it back to her apartment within minutes. The door was still slightly ajar from when she had stormed out, so she eased it open and hung up her sweatshirt jacket in the closet.
"Are you feeling any better?"
Jen wanted to stay angry with him forever. She had been playing a good game of trying for the past month and half since he had been with Beth, but when she saw those eyes and his smile, she couldn't be mad at him. She just couldn't. "Not really."
"You want to tell me what's wrong?" Roger asked, concerned. "Did you party too much last night and get a bad hangover?"
"That's not funny," Jen replied. "And no, I didn't."
"Okay…"
Jen sat down at the kitchen table and rested her head in her hands. She was feeling nauseous again. She knew Roger was watching her from across the room and wished she could disappear for a few seconds.
"Roger…"
He got up and leaned against the wall that separated the living room and the kitchen. "Yeah?"
"I just, Roger, why? Why did you choose her? What does she have that I don't have?" Jen sobbed. "I don't understand. I love you. Isn't that enough?"
"Jen—"
"I'm pregnant." She couldn't believe she had just blurted it out like that, but once she realized it had come out, Jen was glad she had a chance to tell him and that he didn't have to hear it through Mark or anyone else.
"What?" Roger crossed his arms over his chest. "How far—how long?"
"About ten weeks now. I guess," Jen replied softly. "I'm sorry. I just found out for sure last week."
"Travis?"
She nodded and started crying again. "Yeah."
Roger walked over to her and crouched down next to her. He pulled her off the chair and into his lap as he rocked her back and forth. "God Jen, I had no idea."
Jen had a few sarcastic remarks running through her head at that point, but didn't say anything. Instead, she let Roger rock her back and forth. "I hate you so much," she sobbed. "I hate what you're doing to me and how I become nothing without you. I hate you."
Roger nodded, knowing that nothing he could say at this point would help the situation any. He knew he had a few important decisions to make, and the sooner her made them, the better.
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Review! The next chapter will be a little bit longer and will also have more Mark and Maureen. =]