Sam again woke up wrapped up in Jack's arms. She loved these precious moments in the morning before he woke up and pulled away from her. It felt safe, warm, and even natural, almost as if they had been together for years instead of weeks. They fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle, at least in Sam's assessment. She wasn't sure of Jack's thoughts on this particular subject, because he had been skirting the issue for several days now. Every time she tried to bring it up, something would interrupt them before they could discuss it; CTU called, visitors arrived or Sam would be too tired to pursue it.
But now it was Saturday, five days after that fateful day when this nightmare with Salazar finally ended. Sam made up her mind that she wouldn't let another day pass without talking to Jack about their future, if in fact there was one. She hoped so. He had been thoughtful, considerate, and attentive to her, but he had kept his distance, too. He didn't touch her and the only moves he'd made were chaste kisses to her forehead or cheek. Given what they had already done, she was more confused than ever.
She nudged him until his eyes opened and he groaned, "What? Ok, ok, I'm awake." He released his hold on her, but planted a small kiss on her forehead.
Sam decided the best way to bridge the topic was to gauge how much he wanted her around. "Jack, I think it's time that I go back to my own apartment. I feel much better now. I can take care of myself. I'm just cramping your style here."
Jack's face fell and he rubbed his eyes, "If that's what you want." He couldn't make her stay if she didn't want to be here.
She guessed he didn't want her if he could let her leave so easily. Sam's defensive mode kicked in, "I'm just in your way. It's not like we're really living together or anything. You don't have to protect me anymore."
He tried to deflect the serious mood with humor, "I like having you around, you cook better than I do."
It wasn't exactly what she wanted to hear, and her frustration came out in her tone. "Thanks Bauer, I'm glad I'm good for something. And I don't think ordering in counts as cooking."
Jack wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lightly on the mouth, hoping he could coax her out of this abrupt bad mood. "Mmm, you're good for a lot more than cooking."
Sam pushed his arms away and got up, "Damnit Jack!"
Jack threw his arms back above his head, looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "Sam, what's this all about?"
"Are you serious? Are you really that dense, Jack?" When Jack just looked back at her with wide, innocent eyes, she couldn't suppress her anger. "You are such a goddamn man!" Sam got off the bed, found her bag and began to stomp around the room packing her things.
Her explosion dumbfounded Jack. He couldn't understand what had triggered this, he thought they were getting along great, he loved spending time with her and sharing his life with someone again. He simply watched in shock from the bed as she packed her bag.
Sam looked back at Jack before she left the room, her bag slung over her shoulder. "I can't believe I thought I was in lov..." She caught herself before she finished and let the end of the sentence hang, sighed and turned around to leave.
"Sam! Don't go." The desperation was evident in his voice, he couldn't lose her now, not after everything they had been through. He wasn't going to let her get away this easily. Sam stopped in her tracks, but didn't turn around. "Please, let's talk."
She still didn't turn around, but lowered her head and replied softly. "I've been trying to talk to you. Just forget it, Bauer. It's just not worth it, it's too late."
"What? What's too late?" When Sam didn't answer him, he hit the bed with his fist and yelled at her back, "Goddamit Sam, don't be a coward and run away. Talk to me!"
This time Sam did turn around, anger burned in her eyes, "I'm not the coward. I'm not the one who hides behind the memory of my dead wife so I have an excuse not to get close to someone."
"Don't!" He stood up and crossed over to her.
"What, did I hit a nerve Jack? It's about time you showed a little emotion about something, too bad I'm not Teri, huh?"
Jack's jaw tightened as he searched her eyes, trying to figure out what he did to warrant this attack. "Samantha, what's wrong? Where's this coming from?"
"I won't let you use me Jack."
"Use you? What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. You basically admitted that's all I'm good for."
Jack laughed and ran his hands through his hair. Sam glared at him, "I'm glad I amuse you too. I guess that's another thing I'm good for." She picked her bag back up, "Goodbye, Jack."
He put his head down and said simply, "Sam, I'm falling in love with you."
Sam stopped again and put her hand over her mouth. She spoke barely above a whisper, "What did you say?"
"I said I am falling in love with you."
Sam pivoted on her toes slowly and locked her eyes with Jack's. "Wha—why did you...?"
He closed the distance between them and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, "I think you are the most beautiful, bravest, strongest, most exasperating, confusing woman I've ever met. I'm crazy about you."
Although Sam's heart was beating wildly in her chest at his sudden profession of love, she put her hands on her hips and demanded explanation. "If that's true, then why have you been avoiding me all week?"
He smiled at her and placed his hands on either side of her face, leaned over and brushed his lips to hers, "I was giving you space to heal. I didn't think you wanted me attacking you when you were in pain. And I think you are good for much more than cooking and sex, although they don't hurt."
Sam smiled back at him. "You really need to work on your communication skills Bauer."
"Hey, I tried to talk to you about this a while ago, but you were too tired. I thought I would give you some room, and talk rationally when you were ready. Apparently, you can't talk rationally."
She took his face in her hand and squeezed, "Watch it Bauer. I still have a gun. And why didn't you just tell me that?"
"I guess I should have. I don't want you to leave Sam. I like spending time with you, I like waking up with you. I want you in my life." He pulled her into a tight hug. "I don't want to lose you, Samantha Murphy."
Sam held onto him and rested her head on his shoulder, "So what does this mean?"
He pulled back and looked at her, "I honestly don't know. I can't guarantee anything right now, but I know that I just love being with you and I want to spend time with you."
Sam knew that was the best answer she was likely to get for now. "Ok, I can accept that. But I have to know one thing." Jack nodded at her to continue. "Do you trust me? Because if you don't, I swear I'll walk out the door right now and never look back."
He studied her face for a moment, "Yeah, I do."
She smiled at him and traced her finger along a scar on his chin. "Thank you. And I'm sorry about what I said before, I didn't mean to hurt you, I was upset."
"I know." He let go of her and sat down on the couch. He addressed the floor when he talked, he just couldn't look her in the eyes. "I've lost people I loved in the past because I couldn't be completely truthful with them for one reason or another. I don't want that to happen again." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You have to understand something about me. I'm not the man you think I am. I've done and seen awful things. I'm a killer and a drug-addict, not to mention a terrible father and husband. There will be things I won't be able to share with you. But I never want to hurt you, and I'm afraid that I might." He fought back the sting of tears behind his eyes, finally admitting the naked truth about himself to someone he loved was a painful revelation.
A tear slid down Sam's cheek as she listened to his confession. She knew this was difficult for him, and loved him even more for having the courage to confide in her. She kneeled in front of him and kissed him tenderly. "Jack, I think you are exactly the man I think you are, a good man. And I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, but I'm willing to take that risk. You're worth it to me." She sat on his lap and hugged him tightly, "I'm falling in love with you too, Jack Bauer. So, what are you going to do about it?"
Jack wiped at his eyes with his sleeve and gazed into Sam's eyes. "This." He leaned his forward to meet her lips and kissed her passionately.