number of lemon drops consumed: 88, number of units hot chocolate mixed with whiskey consumed: 4, number of unanswered letters: 72
05.46 Haven't slept all night. It's all Alastor's fault. He was here all afternoon. He has spend a couple of days with his sister and he has met someone there. Her name is Geraldine and she's a good friend of his sister. He will take her to the New Year's Buffet, so I can meet her. Alastor says it isn't official yet and they want to get to know each other better first.
Then it started. Alastor began to ask after my 'love life' and I felt I was talking to Rita Skeeter. That man is so persistent. It's not like I've never been in a relationship.
I told Alastor that I was a busy man. But he laughed at me and said that was an excuse.
I had a girlfriend in my third year at Hogwarts. I can remember that I was very much in love with her. After much pressure from Aberforth's side, I told her.
She agreed to be my girlfriend on the condition that I did her homework. I followed her like a slave for the reminder of the term until I discovered that she was also seeing Tod Bradley. A few days later I stole a heavy tranquilliser from the Hospital Wing and poured it in his drink. And from that moment I've never let anyone use me like that.
While we were walking towards the Great Hall, Alastor asked if I had feelings for someone. I didn't answer him. What could I say? Yes, I have been in love these past thirty-five years with my Deputy Headmistress?
Besides, he knows Minerva too well, so I'm not going to tell him.
Actually, there is no one who knows about it. Aberforth suspects something and he's often teasing me about it or trying to hear me out. But I won't let anything slip. And Amanda Hooch often makes remarks about us.
I hate it when she does that. It makes Minerva uncomfortable. Usually I just ignore them so I won't raise any suspicion.
Eight years after Minerva started teaching at Hogwarts I became Headmaster and she became my deputy. Until that time we were good friends, but after that it changed. Because we worked more closely together I got to know her better and better. It's extraordinary how close we are now. We have the same interests, the same humour and often the same view on things.
After all those years I need her with all the decisions I make. If I want to talk about something, she's always there. And I can trust her, she will never break my confidence. Aberfoth says he knows me through and through, but I think Minerva knows me even better.
She will never think more of me as a friend. And although we would be perfect for each other, there's always the age difference. After thirty-five years I've learned how to hide my feelings for her and there's very little chance she will ever find out.
I can be satisfied with what we have now.
Oh, and the sorting hat has taught Fawkes how to whistle the school song. My hand-written school song… I've rewarded Fawkes with four dead mice. I'm so proud of him.