Chapter 4: The Search

Michaela pulled her coat tighter around herself and made sure her buttons were done up properly. The wind was chilling her right to the bone, but she couldn't help but worry that something horrible had happened to Sully.

The leaves, which normally fluttered softly to the ground in the fall, were being blown in every direction by the fierce biting wind. Michaela had to shield her eyes sometimes in order to keep the leaves from temporarily impairing her vision.

She was on foot, knowing by now that horses didn't like riding in the woods at night, especially on eerie nights like this. A horse could spook at the tiniest noise when the woods were this dark and cold.

"Sully!" Michaela called out, hearing her own voice echoing through the looming trees. She heard the howling of a wolf, and for a fleeting moment, she thought it could have been Sully's wolf. After awhile, Michaela came to Sully's lean-to, hoping that he might be sleeping there. But she had no such luck. However, the wind was picking up, and Michaela knew that she couldn't continue like this. She figured it would be best for her to sleep there that night, wake early, and continue her search in the morning. She hoped that maybe she was scared for him, and that everything was alright. After all, Sully had been living out in the woods for years. It wasn't like he didn't know what he was doing.

Michaela sighed and pulled one of Sully's blankets around her shoulders as she settled under the lean to. She laid down and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. Sully's blankets had his scent on them, and Michaela could only imagine what it would be like to sleep nestled up against him every night in their very own bed.

She could almost feel his lips on her neck, and her flesh tingled from the thought of him. If just one thought of him could send those thrilling sparks throughout her body, what would it feel like when he actually was holding her and kissing her. She had wondered what it was like to make love since the time she started learning about what happened between a man and a woman. She knew that not everything she had to learn came from a book. She had never thought about making love with anyone until she met Sully. She had always wondered what it was like, but she never dreamed of being with Sully like that. Now, most of her dreams were filled with romantic fantasies involving herself and Sully.

He was the only man who had ever sent a pounding lust to her very core and sent erotic chills up and down her spine all at the same time. Every time he would walk into the room, she could smell his scent and it would make her knees go weak.

Michaela could feel her heart beginning to pound and her breathing growing faster. She took a deep breath and swallowed hard, closing her eyes and trying not to think about what her honeymoon night was going to be like. She also knew that she was going to have to keep her distance from Sully before they were married, at least in the physical sense. Maybe cooling the relationship off wasn't what they needed. Perhaps she was going to have to stop thinking about him completely. No. That was no good. None of it seemed like an easy way to avoid things going too far before they were married.

The truth was that she didn't want to take things easy. She wanted to act on her feelings as far as she could without doing something she was going to regret. Making love was something she wanted to save for marriage, but kissing shouldn't be saved, should it? There was nothing wrong with it as long as both she and Sully agreed to stop things if they were starting to heat up too quickly.

Just thinking about the ways to avoid too much intimacy was stirring feelings up inside of Michaela that she never knew she had. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She felt foolish, but at the same time, she felt liberated for having feelings like these all to herself.

Michaela finally drifted off into a deep sleep, but this time not dreaming up erotic fantasies. This time her sleep was filled with nightmares of what could have happened to Sully. Each of these nightmares frightened her to her very core, and she felt as if she would never wake from her subconscious prison.

Myra sat up in her bed above the clinic, reading a book she had brought with her from home. She was determined to find a job to send money to her little sister in St. Louis. She had been reading books about women with different jobs, but she didn't feel like she could qualify for any of them. The only thing she knew was that she couldn't work for Hank.

Horace was also on Myra's mind. Earlier that evening she had gone to talk with him about not joining him for dinner the other night, and he seemed to understand. She promised to make it up to him by having a picnic the next day. Horace seemed happy about that, and now that night had settled in, Myra wasn't sure what she was doing. She already knew that she cared for Horace, but it seemed as if he was expecting too much. He didn't even know her and he was already smitten with her. But perhaps that was what was so sweet about him.

Myra found herself smiling at thoughts of Horace, and was surprised when a knock came to the door. Who could it be, and how could they have gotten into the clinic unless it was Dr. Mike?

"Who is it?"

"It's me," came a rough voice that startled her. She got out of bed and pulled a robe on, tying it tightly around her. She walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hank? What are you doin' this late at night?"

"The doc left some extra bandages and told me that if I needed to, I could change 'em myself because all I gotta do is wrap 'em around. But I tried and the pain was real bad. I thought my stitches would come out. You think you can help me?"

"Sure," Myra replied slowly. "Come sit." Hank walked over to sit on Myra's bed beside the oil lamp. He slowly took his shirt off and Myra helped him remove his old bandage, taking a mental picture of what the bandages looked like and how they were tied up. She went to work at re-bandaging him, and she could feel his eyes staring at her as she did so. She looked up and was surprised that she didn't see a cruel, womanizing man, but a man who was vulnerable and who had a heart. "All done." She pulled her hands away and handed him his shirt.

"Nice work," he said with a grin.

"Well, I ain't no doctor, but I figured I could handle a couple bandages."

"You're pretty good with your hands. I'm sure you'd make a lot of money workin' for me." Myra scoffed, knowing that the look in his eyes was fake. She knew that he wasn't the vulnerable man she thought he was for one fleeting moment.

"Get out of my room," she said angrily. Hank smirked at her.

"You're the one who didn't ask what the job was. You agreed to come to Colorado Springs and sign a contract."

"That was before I knew what that contract was! I was desperate to have a job that I didn't stop to think about what I was getting myself into. Now please leave my room. It's late and you shouldn't be in here right now anyway." Hank just shook his head and smirked.

"You need to loosen up, Myra. You're just as uptight as the doc." Hank left the room and Myra sat on the edge of her bed, frustrated with how Hank had just treated her. Was he really that bitter and crude underneath the surface? Myra knew that the man was slime, but she wondered if he could change, and if he was capable of being a decent human being.

The sun woke Michaela, bathing her face in a warm glow. She realized that she had overslept, and she hoped that she could find Sully soon. She stood up and put the blanket to the side, being greeted by a cool breeze. She shivered and stuck her hands in her coat pocket. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Sully, please be alright. God, please let him be alright." She started off in a direction she could only hope that Sully had traveled in. She had no idea of knowing if he was even out there. Perhaps he had decided not to travel the night before. Maybe he had stopped by the homestead. What if he had come to look for her? She had no way of knowing, but she still had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

She stumbled and fell onto a sharp rock, cutting her knee. She hissed in pain as she sat up and pulled her skirt up. She winced as the chilly air hit her wound. The cut wasn't too deep, and it wouldn't need stitches, but she was still glad that she brought her medical bag. She disinfected the wound and wrapped it tightly to stop the bleeding. As soon as she had finished, she stood and started on her way again.

"Sully!" she called. "Sully are you there?! Answer me!" The wind started to pick up and Michaela sighed heavily. But when that wind started to pick up, she heard the familiar barks of Wolf. It had to be Wolf! She couldn't think otherwise. She had to go with her gut instinct. "Wolf! Wolf! Here boy!" After a few more calls, Wolf bounded into sight. He stopped when he found Dr. Mike. She knelt, forgetting her pain for a moment, and patted the dog's head. "Good boy! Take me to Sully!" She got up and felt the pain throbbing in her knee, but despite the pain, she hurried after Wolf with her medical bag in hand. She had to find Sully, and she now knew that her suspicions were correct about him. He was hurt, and that's why Wolf was out alone. She only hoped the injuries weren't too serious. She couldn't bear to think what would happen if she lost him.

In town, Charlotte was sitting up in bed, feeling well enough to knit. Dorothy had brought her some supplies, and she was sitting with her, along with the children. Brian was playing with some old woodcarvings that Sully had made for him. Matthew was watching his brother, sister, and mother protectively, feeling that he was in charge because he was the man of the house, and Colleen was knitting with her mother and Dorothy.

"Ma, why do ya think Dr. Mike didn't make it into town this mornin'?" Colleen asked worriedly.

"Maybe she had to check on a patient."

"She doesn't have that many patients yet, ma," Matthew pointed out.

"Maybe she stopped alongside the road to help her out."

"I'm sure Michaela is fine," Dorothy replied with a confident smile. Matthew felt something was wrong and he shook his head, standing up.

"Matthew?" Charlotte asked.

"I gotta go look for her. I'll take the road she takes to work and check the homestead. If she ain't there, I'll get a search party together."

"Can I go?" Brian asked.

"Sorry little brother. It ain't safe out there."

"Then you shouldn't be goin' either," Charlotte scolded.

"Somebody's gotta go out there and find her!"

"I agree, but you ain't goin' alone!"

"I'll get a posse together. We can't leave her out there, ma."

"I know, Matthew. Have Mr. Slicker and Robert E. go with you."

"I ain't gonna guarantee that Jake'll go, but I can try." Matthew left the clinic and ran into Robert E. outside.

"Whoa, Matthew, where's the fire?" Robert E. asked, noticing the young man's hurry.

"I think Dr. Mike's been hurt. She ain't in town yet, and she's usually here right after dawn."

"You want me to come look for her with ya?"

"If ya don't mind."

"Let me go saddle up some horses. Who else is goin'?"

"I'm gonna try to get Jake and Horace."

"Alright. I'll saddle four up and we'll get goin'."

"Thank ya." Matthew walked over to the barbershop and knocked on the door.

"What can I do for ya, Matthew?"

"I'm getting' a posse together."

"For what? We ain't found the guy who shot Hank. He's long gone."

"Dr. Mike's not in town yet."

"So? Maybe she decided to give up and go back to Boston," Jake said with a laugh.

"It ain't funny, Jake! She's usually in town before now. Me and Robert E. are goin' out to the homestead to check on her. If she ain't there or on the road into town, we're gonna go lookin' for her."

"Well, I guess I can close up for a few hours. Business is slow today anyway."

"Thanks. Robert E.'s saddlin' the horses over at the livery." Matthew hurried over to the telegraph office where Horace was sorting through the mail. He looked frustrated.

"Mornin' Matthew."

"Mornin' Horace. Everything alright?"

"The telegraph's busted, and it won't be workin' till somebody comes in from Denver to look at it."

"Maybe that's a good thing."

"How could ya say that?"

"Dr. Mike ain't in town yet, and I'm getting a posse together to go look for her. Can you do it?"

"Sure thing, Matthew," Horace replied. Matthew shook his hand, and Horace closed up the office before they headed over to the livery.

Michaela felt as if she had been jogging after Wolf for hours, but as soon as they began to go uphill, she realized that Wolf knew what he was doing. He stopped at the top of the hill and waited for her to catch up. As soon as she had, she looked down and saw Sully lying at the bottom on the other side.

"Sully!" she screamed. She saw him move, and was thankful that he was alive. She hurried down the hill, being careful not to trip or get caught up in anything. As soon as she reached his side, she sunk down and sat next to him. She pulled his head into her lap and stroked the hair out of his face. "Oh Sully." She began to cry and she felt blood on her hand. It wasn't a lot of blood, but she knew he had a wound that had probably begun to heal overnight.

Sully slowly opened his eyes and he saw Michaela, wondering for a moment if she was an angel.

"Michaela," he whispered. "Is it really you?" He had had several dreams the night before that Michaela had come to find him, but all of them had been dreams. He had to pinch himself to make sure it was reality. "You're really here?"
"Yes, I'm here," she whispered, wiping tears out of her eyes. "I knew something was wrong. I could feel it, Sully."

"Wolf found ya?" Wolf ran down the hill and sat at his master's side.

"Yes, he did," Michaela whispered.

"Good boy," Sully replied to his wolf.

"Can you sit up?" Michaela asked. Sully did as Michaela had asked, and she examined the back of his head. "You're luck. That gash isn't deep enough to need stitches, but it's going to need proper cleansing and bandaging. She pulled some antiseptic out of her medical bag.

"Do what ya gotta do," Sully replied softly.

"This will sting."

"I can take it," Sully replied. Michaela swallowed hard and applied the disinfectant to his wound. Sully bit his lip to keep from yelling out. Michaela finally applied a bandage, wrapping a layer of bandages around his head. She pulled a few loose strands of hair that had gotten tucked under the bandages, and ran her hands along Sully's cheek.

"I'm so glad I found you," she whispered. She looked up and saw the clouds were starting to roll in, and they weren't the big white fluffy ones. These were dark and ominous. "A storm is coming in."

"It'll pass. The clouds are rollin' in to fast," Sully replied. He felt dizzy again, so he rested his head in Michaela's lap again, looking up into her eyes. Tears were still falling, and he reached up to brush them away. "There ain't no need to cry."

"I'm just so glad that I found you," she replied. "Sully, I was sitting at the homestead last night, and I got this feeling inside of me that you were hurt. I had to come find you."

"You've been out all night?" Michaela nodded slowly.

"I stayed at the lean-to."

"Good," Sully replied with a nod. "Are ya cold?"

"A little," she replied. "But we can keep each other warm. Sully sat up a little, and he and Michaela leaned on each other, pulling their arms around each other. They huddled liked that as the wind beat at their backs. Sully noticed Michaela wincing.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just hurt my knee. It isn't serious."

"You sure?"

"I'm more worried about you. I want to get you back into town as soon as you feel well enough to travel."

"Let's wait out the wind," Sully suggested. Michaela nodded and she and Sully looked into each other's eyes.

"I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you," she whispered, the tears beginning to well up again. "All I could dream about last night was . . . oh Sully! How did this happen?"

"I think I was hit from behind. I know I was robbed," he replied softly. "But there's no need to worry. You ain't gonna lose me. I love ya too much. I'll always come back for you." Michaela couldn't stand it any longer. She wrapped her arms around Sully's neck, and he wrapped his arms around her. They kissed with such a passion, the longing they felt for each other was made clear in each other's touches and kisses. Their kisses warmed them up quickly, and they didn't want to break apart. But Sully pulled away long enough to rest his forehead against Michaela's. "I was startin' to think I'd never see ya again."

"You'll never lose me either," she promised. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," he whispered. They kissed again, and Sully's hands caressed his love's back, sending those chills up her spine again. But she didn't mind now. She knew they could control themselves if they needed to.

"I feel foolish for saying this, but I'm sorry I wanted time to myself. Sully, if I hadn't said this, you wouldn't be hurt right now."

"It ain't your fault," Sully replied.

"Well, I'm telling you now that I don't want to ever have to come looking for you again, Sully. I don't want to have to worry that you're hurt or worse."

"You won't have to," Sully replied, taking Michaela's hands into his own. "All I care about is us bein' together for the rest of our lives. We're gonna get married, and if you need time to yourself, I can let ya have it."

"That's just it Sully. I don't want time to myself. I know I should probably take it, but yesterday was torture. I don't like having to think about you all day. I'd rather have you there with me because it's a lot better than dreaming about you. Having you around makes me feel better; makes me happier. I love you."

"I love you," he replied with a smile. "Are ya sayin' we can go back to kissin' and touchin'?" he asked. Michaela blushed and looked down. She took a deep breath and looked back up, staring in the Sully's eyes. Without a word, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.