Disclaimer: It's been a while since I've said this, so ::with happiness:: I do not own Megami Kohousei or any of its characters.
Notes: Well, writer's block has finally abated for a while. I've been very critical of my own writing lately. After making two very different versions of chapter 12, I scrapped the second and went back to the original. I've been tweaking this for months in my spare time, but I still feel that I haven't quite nailed down Leena's character. Please tell me what you think of her, and please enjoy this chapter, which caused me so much grief. ::wipes sweat off brow::
Chapter 12 – Savior
Leena Fujimura knew she was a busybody, but that was just the type of person she was. She loved playing big sister; her spirit wanted to nurture, to protect, to enfold and teach. The other repairer girls would probably laugh at her. She was what, only 16? And talking like a mother. But she didn't like to see people hurt. And Garu was hurting. At first she didn't notice. 37's quick tongue and languid smile were his most dazzling weapons; they had gotten him out of detentions, out of demotion, and out of trouble when Leena caught him flirting with another girl.
"Leena. It was a bet with Rio."
And repairer 37 had believed him. Gareas was brash, stubborn, brusque…and absolutely truthful. He indulged himself sometimes, could be selfish, and a brat, but very few people had the type of heart Gareas did. Somehow, the rough gestures of his affection were more moving than any contrived sonnet, or serenade.
Leena was a romantic as surely as love was more than sweet coos, and sugarcoated promises. She saw things as they truly were, black, white, the hairsbreadth difference between shades of gray. So, how had she not seen Gareas earlier?
She braided her blonde hair like a length of rope before she stuck her head into the cockpit of 37's pro-ing, and prepared herself.
"Begin!"
A stopwatch clicked. Leena began with a wrench as a dozen other girls in hanger 045-Z3 sprung into action around her. A few wires of her pilot's pro-ing were tangled. She careful straightened out each one. Leena had a delicate touch. She learned it from mastering countless repairer duties in the last two years. She honed it in her dealings with the people around her.
Garu.
A piece of wire was especially frayed. She'd have to be careful or it would snap.
Ernest.
Hidden in the back of the cockpit was a dual component that checked the pilot's energy consumption. It cut the energy at times of strain, boosted it when the startled pilot needed a sudden increase in firepower against a surprise attack by Victim.
Tune.
Next, the graphics. Warnings and schematics that the repairer did not voice to her pilot showed up on a small screen. Different types of messages had different color codes. Lesser commands were cool colors, blue and green. They waited unobtrusively, patiently to be noted. If the suggested procedure was not carried out in a timely fashion, the color would grow warmer. It was when the pilot was negligent in his duties would the hue ever reach red.
Rio.
She checked the communication lines. The first time Gareas had gone into battle, the line had almost failed. What gaps Leena had heard from the other end had worried her. Gareas sounded fine to anyone else, but she knew that subtle tone of his; it meant panic. When the backup line finally kicked in, she teased him back into ease. Their light banter seemed inappropriate for battle, but it had calmed Gareas enough to give him a bull's-eye shot at his first Victim. He had not missed.
"Time!"
Leena emerged from the cockpit. Her brow was damp. In order to catch her breath, she leaned against her pro-ing. To her left and right, other girls emerged; some were smiling, some were frowning. Their instructor, a no-nonsense woman with severely tied back hair, walked toward the mecha next to 37's. It was only one of many in the row of pro-ings that stood at attention in GOA's maintenance deck.
"Did you check all areas?"
"Yes…but I think I rushed through the communication lines," 36 responded.
The instructor noted this in her digital notebook and began checking over the redhead's pro-ing. "The lines are still in bad shape. Everything else seems in order. You will have to be re-evaluated in a week. Sloppiness in your job may one day result in getting your pilot injured."
"I understand sensei."
"37."Leena froze, then patted her pro-ing before she withdrew from it and made her way to the center of the repairer's platform to be judged. Instructor Hayabashi peered into the machine, and pursed her lips. Leena waited in silence. The woman turned. She had on a small smile. "Good job. Your pilot has been blessed with a topnotch repairer."
"Thank you, sensei." Leena bowed slightly, but she still frowned as she wiped oil-slicked hands on gray pants. Usually Gareas would appear at the hangar's doors just as she finished in the tri-weekly repairer assessments.
He wasn't there.
Something was wrong.
*************
Something was wrong.
The book fell from his trembling fingers with a loud thud.
It was all wrong! Ernest buried his head into his hands and clenched his teeth in frustration. Even going so far as to take sleeping pills hadn't been enough. Night after night, on his hands and knees, he groped at the strange terrain of a dreamscape. Night after night, he sought something that simply did not exist! Why would his mind create such a torture for him?!
Burning.
Stop!
That feeling. That devouring feeling. It had crept into him the morning after the white bird had first shed blood in his dream. But unlike the bird, which faded when he woke, this feeling did not. It remained solid. Whatever it was, this elusive thing existed.
The thought of that terrified him. He yelled out loud to banish the fear.
"I don't want this! I want things to be back to the way they were! Before everything!" He pounded the table until his hands began to show red bruises.
"Everything?" A veiled part in the recesses his mind inquired back.
BURNING.
It hurt like nothing before, not even when he had left his tiny isolated colony to be thrown onto a ship with thousands of people, thousands of thoughts and feelings to drown in.
BURNING!
"To before the dreams started. I never, NEVER wanted to come to GOA!"
Then you never wanted to meet –
Ernest's breath hitched.
*************
"Garu!"
*************
Leena called into the relaxation room. After searching some of her partner's more favored haunts, she had come here. The relaxation room was tranquil and peaceful, usually boring her energetic pilot to death. Yet, she had noticed Gareas visiting the room more often as of late.
Something had changed.
Maybe he was at their favorite spot by the pond. Repairer 37 hurried into the center of the room, intent on finding her partner, and could only react with surprise when her legs bumped into a human body. Leena looked down; there was a boy sitting there with his repairer. "I'm so sorry."
"Are you looking for someone?" the girl inquired politely. She had a serious, polite face and shoulder length hair. Both eyes and hair were dark.
"Yes, I'm looking for 37."
"He's not here," the boy with gray eyes broke out of his meditation and answered for his repairer. Their voices shared the same modulated tone.
"He's not?"
"We've been here for most of the afternoon. 37 is a man with green hair, right brother?" Kazuhi questioned.
"Yes."
"But…I was sure he'd be here."
"Maybe you should find 39." Kazuhi looked at her brother in curiosity.
"What?"
"The one you call Ernest Cuore. His eyes always follow the one you seek now," the pilot candidate clarified.
Leena blinked. Who was this boy? How did he know Ernest? "Thank you, erm-"
"Onii-san, it's time to go to practice." Kazuhi scrambled up from the grass after glancing at her watch. They had exactly five minutes to make it to practice. Yu was still staring at Leena. Kazuhi blinked, then patted her brother's arm to get his attention.
"Wait, I didn't catch your name!" Leena hesitated before shouting. By then Yu had risen and the pair had exited. The doors were closing, but even so, the boy's gaze was unnerving when he turned to answer her one last time.
"Do not worry. If your partner deserves all the faith you put in him, surely we will meet again as comrades on the battlefield."
Leena faltered at the cryptic message. Meet again? What did the strange boy mean by "meet again"? He was still a newbie judging by the GOA insignia on his uniform. Seniors rarely interacted with freshmen. The boy would have to climb a very steep hill, and very fast, in order to become top. By then, Gareas would have become a pilot. No matter how much sweat or blood, Gareas would be a pilot! How dare this boy imply that Gareas might fail?! This arrogant boy could never become equal to Garu!
"How dare you-!"
But the doors had closed, leaving Leena bereft of a target for her anger and irritation. Without Yu, those defensive emotions reverted back into the worry that had begun to grow in her mind since morning repairs.
She had to find Garu! But - Leena bit her lip - she didn't know where Garu could be. No one -
Wait! Ernest!
But where?
Leena wracked her mind, frantically and methodically.
"Trust that guy to be in the most boring of places!"
Garu had mentioned it once before.
"Like where?"
Snort. "The library. Can you believe it? He goes every two weeks right after practice."
Somehow they always ended up talking about Ernest. For a brief moment Leena Fujimura stood deathly still, and wondered if Garu ever liked to talk about her with anyone else. She shook her head to clear it of such vain thoughts.
"That's not important. Gareas is important." With a determined face she dashed out the exit and down the corridors. If she hurried, she might get to 39 before he left the library.
*************
"Garu."
After calling 37's name a second time, Ernest closed his eyes and tried to picture his friend's face. If he concentrated on something besides the spiteful feeling, Ernest could endure. The strange sensation came but it always left. He would just have to ride out the strange habitual occurrence. Gingerly, he relaxed his elbows, and let his hands fall open-palmed onto the table.
"Tune."
Slowly, the shy face appeared before him, and the last of the tension in his body eased.
"These two people, I am glad to have met. I am glad to have come to GOA!" 39 affirmed to himself. Ernest opened his eyes and was greeted by his customary stack of books.
The burning had disappeared.
*************
Doors, doors, and more doors.
Leena wondered why everything in her day seemed to be revolving around finding the right one. Either chance would lead her to Gareas or to Ernest. Truth to be told, Leena had never been to the library, although she knew which floor it was on. The library in its traditional form was almost obsolete. Most novels were now digital, on computers or digi-pads. Paper books were a rare piece of antiquity that had barely escaped destruction from previous wars. The fortunate had survived in old forgotten underground bomb shelters, built before the colonies had upgraded to mini-fortresses made of neo-titanium alloy a few hundred years ago. No one had bothered to scavenge the others - old tomes shredded into bits of ink and burnt parchment during the fighting. No one had cared.
To be in GOA was to think of the future…history, and even childhood memories had no place there. And yet, somehow, pieces of the past still made it into this new age.
"Ernest."
A blonde head peeped up from around a pile of books. They were beautiful aged things with felt binding and musty pages. It appeared Ernest had been buried in them for quite some time. His face seemed strangely worn.
"Leena-san," 39 shoved one of the books in his hands back into the pile. Leena had just enough time to catch its long title: "Lectures on the Psychoanalysis of Dreams." Dreams? The psychologist Freud had fallen out of favor millenniums ago. Dreams were rare occurrences now, although some people still suffered from them. The inflicted said their dreams were snapshots of unfamiliar lives. Some claimed it was a past life on some watery planet that was not Zion. Scientific studies had concluded either the people were delusional, or that the brain had interesting, but totally random ways of interpreting its activities during sleep. Dreams had no meaning. Only the future did.
In curiosity, Leena looked over the other book that Ernest still clutched.
" 'Schematics on Zion?'"
"Yes…I was hoping to find some information on Zion. But surprisingly there is very little. I already checked all the digital data on it," Ernest handed over the remaining book for inspection. "Whenever I look at Zion…it makes me feel strange. But happy. I want to know why."
"You want to understand," Leena said slowly. Just like Gareas wants to understand you…that's why he always talks about you.
"Even with my EX, it's hard to understand my own feelings," Ernest confessed. Leena's presence was comforting. The girl exuded a strange aura of warmth. But just underneath it…
"You already understand a lot of things Ernest," Leena smiled. "Tell me, do you know where Garu is?" I have to ask, because no matter how much I try, I know there are pieces of him that only belong to you.
"No," Ernest did not look at her; her sorrow and worry were acute like a sharp pain. She was very emotional, if he wasn't careful, he could use those feelings as a roadway into her thoughts. It was a well-documented fact that empathy and telepathy were paired phenomena, just as human beings were the most irrational of creatures that could reason.
"Did you guys fight again?" Leena slipped into the chair next to him, her own worry and lingering sadness abruptly washed away. She was anxious to find her partner, but Repairer 37 was also anxious to heal any wounds her friend had.
"Leena, is something wrong?" He tried to view through the walls her emotions had retreated behind. They no longer scorched him, but the light of their intensity was too dim and cast only shadows. He could not read her fully.
Empath. Telepath. She had forgotten.
"No. Is everything alright with you?"
"Of course." A weak smile. Leena wasn't fooled by it; the only thing she had ever been blind to was one smile too attractive for its own good. She waited for a long drawn out moment for Ernest's eyes to meet hers, but her friend only stared at the countertop. "Ernest. I'm going to find him," Leena jumped up. She turned towards the door. With a hopeful heart, Leena hesitated and lingered for a few moments longer. "Are you coming with me?"
"No. I'd better not. I don't think he wants to see me."
"You're wrong. Gareas holds few things in importance. And you're one of them." Ernest looked up, but he did not move. "Please…realize it one day." Although Leena knew she could catch Ernest's gaze before it slid away if she turned, she did not. Leena left Ernest in the empty room.
She leaned against the closed doors and breathed harshly. To think, such a mundane conversation had rattled her! She settled herself against the metal and thought. Ernest was going through an internal crisis. A painful one. Leena bit her lip. But she could not help him in that struggle. Somehow, without comprehension, a sixth sense told her he was best left alone. The situation, whatever it was, would be best resolved that way. But that didn't mean that Leena hadn't felt like she had betrayed him by begrudging her support in the end! That had been hard, turning her back on 39 when so many already had, simply because of his telepathy. Ernest was a kind person, but Leena knew she was not the one that would be his savior – not when she herself, was so confused.
And there were still three choices to make. The corridor furthest left led to training grounds. The right led back to the relaxation room. And the last led to the observation deck. Leena took a deep breath to calm herself and moved away from the library door.
She couldn't be Ernest's savior, but for Gareas…maybe she could rescue her partner, even without understanding everything.
With her whole focus on that distant goal, and her choice made, Leena Fujimura, Repairer 37, broke into a run and never look back.
TBC
End Notes: Despite the fictitious name of Ernest's book, Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) was a real person. He is considered the father of psychoanalysis. He believed that people's dreams were a window into their subconscious – the place where repressed desires and thoughts are held. But whether that applies to this fic, well…erm, not really? I just thought this tidbit would be interesting to anyone who doesn't already know.
Thanks for reading. Virtual flowers of adoration to any old readers or reviewers who've noticed I've updated, and virtual fruit baskets to welcome all the new ones, that is, if there are any.
Now, please be kind and review. If anything is confusing in this chapter, don't hesitate to say so. I just had to tweak it one more time after Yele had betaed it.
And lastly…
Quick poll: Which corridor do you think Leena took?
Sorry for rambling so much, but it's nice to be back in the MK fandom. ^_^;;