My Guardian Angel: Chapter Two: A Mirror and Thinking Can Never Be Good

Disclaimer: Not mine. Happy?

Summary: It felt all too familiar for Harry, he realized vainly, as he clutched to the thing's neck with his good arm while he tried not to fall off. But it was getting so hard as his limbs were going numb from the amount of blood he had lost.

Pairings: Hermione/Ron liking implied

Warnings: Fighting (both physical and verbal), good ol' angst

Author Notes: Um... here it is! The second chapter! MAJOR thank yous to my beta Haley as she help me with the ideas for the chappie and then also beta-ed, but... Echo sort of took over a week and two days so I just posted without her corrections. Let's see. This might not be as good as it didn't exactly 'write itself' so-to-speak, but it is here.

More Author Notes: Shittttt! Thank you to Lady Foxfire for pointing out that mistake. After that, I got lost and tried to figure out what year I made this as Haley said it was 6th and I said 7th and well… we finally sorted it out. So thanks again! And I referred to him being in 6th year a lot so I'll six that too oO This chapter was really messed up. I have them talking like it's sixth year but if this is a sequel to DRJDANAR then I need to have them in seventh year… ::goes off to fix it::

Seventh year started rather quickly, for which Harry was glad. The students were sorted, and Dumbledore had given his welcoming speech. Everything was going normal, yet he felt far from normal.

Memories of years gone by flooded his mind as he tried to think of anything but the sixth year. Finally, he managed to just think about fifth year, but it wasn't much better… When Fred and George had flown out of Hogwarts. When Umbridge was attacked. When Sirius stuck his head through the fireplace. When Sirius fell through the veil…

He played idly with his food, not noticing until Seamus shouted how disgusting the mixture of corn, mashed potatoes and gelatin looked. And so he plastered a smile on his face. A pseudo smile, one that didn't reach his eyes while showing no bit of teeth, just so no one would worry. It was what he had been doing lately and everyone seemed used to it. A small upturn of his lips, and everyone would think everything was fine. "Sorry… just thinking 'bout classes this year."

And he was almost relieved when Ron brought up the subject of who would have been crazy enough to take Potions if they didn't need to. But really, how relieved could one be when their best friend didn't even notice something was wrong? So he just listened distantly, while trying not to think about anything else.

"So… who actually took Advanced Potions?" Neville asked when the conversation had seemed to almost come to a stop. The sixth years that had taken Potions the year before were given a new decision - to continue in Potions for seventh years or to take an Advanced that would show much more on their records, but was a lot harder.

Hermione couldn't help but smile like she did the greatest thing in the world, and said, "I did."

Ron gave an overdramatic groan and rolled his eyes, muttering, "Should have known."

After a short silence, Hermione jabbed Harry in the side with her elbow.

"Huh?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Neville asked who took Advanced Potions."

"Oh. I did," he said and looked up at the teachers' table to see Remus sitting up there, eating his dinner quietly.

"WHAT!?" Ron yelled, getting most of the Gryffindors to look at him and even some of the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws. It was common knowledge that his O.W.L.S. hadn't been high enough to rightfully snub his nose at Potions, which made the situation even worse.

Harry quickly brought his attention back to his friend. "I dunno. I thought I'd be a good idea if I wanted to be an Auror, you know? Have higher marks and all that."

Ron only noticed then that he was standing when everyone was looking up at him, so he slowly sat down. "You're crazy. That's it. To actually want to spend another two years with that slimy git? You're just crazy."

Harry shrugged and stood. "I think I'm tired. I'm going to go to bed early," he said with a small smile.

"But you didn't eat anything," Seamus said with a brow raised.

"Just… not hungry." And with that, the teen slowly walked to the Gryffindor Tower. He didn't have much of an appetite as he knew that he was going to have to spend time in a place where Sirius spent seven happy years… where he and Harry talked…

When he got to the Gryffindor Common Room, he wasn't surprised to see everything was the same. But everything felt so different. With a tired glance, he looked at the fire that was roaring, and he couldn't help but have his feet slowly walked over to it and he didn't even wince when he fell harshly on his knees in front of it.

The heat made his skin sweat, yet he didn't seem to care as he just watched it silently.

Everything… everything was just gone, he realized bitterly as he took out the shards of the mirror Sirius had given him the year before from his pocket.

'Why hadn't I used it!?' he thought in anger. 'He told me if I ever needed him! Why!? Why didn't I? Why did I shatter it? Maybe… Maybe he has his now. I mean, I could fix it but it wouldn't still have the same effects, as the spell would be broken…'

No longer could he tell if the drops of moisture rolling down his cheeks were of sweat or tears as he just stared down into the pieces of shattered glass.

"Why? Why did you have to die?!" he suddenly shouted and threw the shards at the wall, only to have them break into more. "You were the one escape I had. The one chance at actually having someone close to a father who cared for me. Then you go and die! It isn't fair!" he screamed at the air and slumped back. It was a ritual he did whenever he was upset, or anything, and it was something everyone was used to. Let Harry rant about things that were in the past, then try and console him later on.

A few paintings were staring at him and he had an urge to destroy them. He had an urge to destroy everyone…

It really wasn't fair. Everyone had families. At least somewhere that cared for them. Ron had a huge family, Hermione had her parents, and even Neville had his grandmother.

'And what do I have?' he thought vainly, slowly moving over to the couch and leaning against it. 'Three people who find it fun to abuse me and make me feel like complete shit. Haven't I gone through enough? My parents die, and then I live with abusive people that make me work like a slave, and then I'm roughly pulled into my real life. The one where I have to save people. The one where I can't be weak, nor afraid, nor anything! Did I ever ask to do this? Did I ever say I would? If I did, I definitely don't remember. I almost wish that Voldemort would just kill me. That way, I wouldn't have to be stuck doing everything for everyone else to just get hurt and have the people closest to me die!

In his anger, he didn't see the mirror repair itself into just a few broken shards and a flash of black litter them only for a second then leave rather quickly.

"Damn it. It isn't fair," Harry said gruffly as he stood and walked over, grabbing the mirror pieces then heading towards his bedroom.

A call stopped him though.

"Harry, come on! I want to talk to you!" Ron called from the bottom of the stairs.

With a groan, he turned around and looked at his best friend. "But I want to sleep."

Fingers began to drum themselves on the railing in such a manner that it was clear Ron was not going to leave.

"Fine!" He stormed down the stairs, tired and now annoyed.

A grin appeared on Ron's face. "'Mione won't come though. She's busy doing her job as prefect."

Harry blinked. "Um… not to sound like I don't want to talk to you or anything but aren't you a prefect also?"

"Yeah well, she is annoyed at me for some reason and yelled that she could do it all and I'd only get in the way." A shrug later, he was walking out of the common room with Harry on his heels.

Five minutes passed as the two got so lost in their thoughts and discussions that they didn't notice where they were going.

"Women are by far the hardest things to ever understand."

A hand ran through his dark hair and he grinned. "Of course. They do it just to annoy us. As soon as we figure them out, they change everything about themselves. I overheard a conversation Hermione and Lavender were having, and after Hermione mentioned your name about ten times," 'Along with saying how much she likes you,' he added silently then continued, "She said that guys are the hardest thing to understand."

"What the hell? We're easy to understand! Girls are so out to kill us!" Ron shouted and then looked at Harry with a brow raised. "What was she saying about me, exactly? It couldn't have been much if it was to Lavender."

"Oh, the usual. How she loves your great figure and swoons over you whenever she has the chance and how she'd shag you in a moment," he quipped, but in such a manner that it left Ron unsure if his best friend was joking or serious.

Blue eyes looked at him skeptically then sighed. "You and girls are out to kill me." His voice sounded a bit quiet because he knew that if Ginny were still alive, she would have told him at least part of it.

After a second, two lurid masculine laughs surrounded them until Ron grabbed Harry's arm, halting their laughter. "Where are we?"

"Uh…" It was only then that the he noticed how deep in the forest they were. "That's a good question. I think we came from that way?" he asked as he pointed in a random direction, as they had been taking curves and such while talking about girls, Quidditch, girls, school, and girls.

Ron nodded and started to head that way. "Okay, let's go that way since I have no clue which way is Hogwarts."

After wandering aimlessly for fifteen minutes, both Harry and Ron were getting worried.

"What if we don't get out of here? What if we die? Do you think anyone would look in here? If we die, Mum's going to kill me!" The redhead's said in desperation and worry.

With a shake of the head, Harry sighed. "You overreact. For one, she can't kill you if you're dead. Two, we'll get out…" Even though he didn't want to admit it, he was worried. Not just for the fact of getting lost and dying of dehydration or starvation, but that there were numerous creatures that would rip them into shreds at the slightest provocation was the thing that was making him terrified.

Ron shook his head. "You've never seen my mother truly angry, Harry! She could kill You-Know-Who with a simple glare when she's completely livid! She can probably bring the dead back too!"

With a shake of Harry's head, they headed off, wandering around still until the older of the boys tripped over a root and fell hard to the ground.

"Ow! Harry, help me up!" he yelled as he tried to push himself up.

A sound resembling a growl of annoyance came out of Harry's mouth as he leaned down to help Ron up. "Ron, shut up! In case you forgot, there's creatures around here that will tear us limb from bloody limb if we don't be quiet!"

He stared wide-eyed up at his friend and shakily tried to stand with a simple nod but collapsed to the ground. "Shit. I think it's broken…" he hissed out in pain.

"Damn it…" Slowly, he leaned down and tried to help Ron up.

But the sudden footsteps that surrounded them made them both shake in fear as they saw who were glaring at them. Large centaurs surrounded them, each holding a bow in their hand with an arrow on it.

"It's you. And you've brought another with you," Magorian said from behind Harry and he spun around quickly to look at the centaur. "We gave you enough warning before you had that monster attack us last time."

Harry felt slightly angry. Grawp had saved his life, and he wasn't a monster. "Grawp saved our lives from you all! It's your fault that you got attacked! And we only got lost, it isn't our fault!"

"You were the ones who walked into our forest, were you not?"

Ron gulped as he slowly pushed himself up. "We were but… we didn't notice where we were going!"

Bane aimed his arrow at Ron. "Well you should have, as you might have walked off a cliff without even noticing and died!"

Harry's head shot to the side to stare at a part of the forest in confusion. Was it his imagination or was there just a rustle of the branches? But he had to stay with the current situation… "Look, we're sorry. We just need to find out what way is the way back to Hogwarts and we won't return."

Ronan slowly walked out to glare at them. "When you first found yourselves lost, you should have used your wands to figure out which way was north and then went back to Hogwarts."

Both boys groaned and knew they were stupid for forgetting to use their wands.

"You're right," Harry grumbled out.

"You have intruded on us once already, not a year and a half ago. And now you want us to just let you go?" Bane yelled at Harry and as anger sped through every part of the centaur's body, he aimed his arrow at Harry. "Humans are not worthy to come into our forest. Yet you have came in twice, and had a giant attack us the first time, after only using us for yourself!" And before Ronan could stop him, the arrow flew out to hit Harry in the shoulder.

A scream rang through all of their ears, only to be followed by another as Magorian shot an arrow into Ron's upper leg.

But before Harry could even pull out his wand to stop another arrow that headed for his chest, something rather big and black jumped out to block the path.

Since they were deep in the forest at nighttime, it was hard to see half a foot in front of them let alone something that seemed to be dark to begin with.

The thing gave a small whimper of pain followed by a loud growl and then hurled itself at the shocked centaurs.

Harry fell to his knees, holding his shoulder that was throbbing in pain and quickly being soaked in blood but tried to make out who – or what the thing was.

Unfortunately, all either of the boys could make out was an outline, and even then, it was extremely hard to see.

What seemed to be hours but was only mere seconds passed by, with the creature fighting at least 20 centaurs and whimpering in pain quite a few times while getting shot with arrows, Harry guessed.

Neither had figured out what it was yet, but it seemed to be saving them, which they were thankful for.

Finally, they were called off as Magorian saw how many of them were hurt. "Let's go!"

The footsteps that invaded Harry's ears told him that many of them were running off, and he couldn't help but relax then cry out in pain as the arrowhead in his shoulder moved slightly.

Ron looked at him with wide eyes and tried to move closer, feeling safer if they were nearer but then screamed 'SHIT!' at the top of his lungs as a small way to get rid of the pain that shot through his body as his leg moved slightly. "We can't move at all… what are we going to do?"

Not for the first time, Harry had no clue what to do. They were just attacked by a group of angry centaurs after Ron broke his ankle, then both hit with arrows, and mysteriously saved by a large creature. "Hell, forgot about that," he whispered to himself which was promptly followed by a 'huh?' from Ron.

The creature just seemed to be staring at them, an eerie golden glow seeming to come from its' eyes. Rather unevenly, it walked up to Harry and nudged his face with its'… snout in an almost affectionate way?

"What the hell?" Ron whispered from behind him as Harry just froze, terrified of what could happen if this creature attacked them.

In one quick movement, Harry was on the thing's back followed by another movement and Ron accompanied him.

Both gave a soft scream of pain from moving, Ron more so than Harry as his leg hit the thing's back rather hard, but they began to head in seemed like a random direction.

It felt all too familiar for Harry, he realized vainly, as he clutched to the thing's neck with his good arm while he tried not to fall off. But it was getting so hard as his limbs were going numb from the amount of blood he had lost. "Sirius… Thank you," he murmured before he passed out.

The sun shone hard on Harry's face the next morning and he groaned in annoyance then pulled the blanket around his face, or at least tried.

A throbbing pain filled his body from his arm and he cried out only to remember what had happened the day before. "Ron!" he shouted and looked over to see the redhead sleeping soundly in his bed, and as Harry's own shoulder was wrapped, he figured Ron's wounds were wrapped too.

Long fingers covered his face while he tried to remember what had saved them. It had been so dark, they were being attacked, a pain shooting through his shoulder, a large figure pouncing on the centaurs and fighting for the two boys, and then being thrown onto the back, then complete darkness… "What the hell happened?"

Everything was cloudy, but he needed to figure it out. Even though he now had a huge headache… "SIRIUS!" He yelled so loudly as he remembered that Ron shot up, staring at him with wide eyes.

"What the hell?! Oh shit, ow!" he groaned out as he clutched his leg then blinked. "What happened yesterday when we came back?"

"No clue. Ron, you saw it yesterday! It was Sirius! I'm not crazy!"

Blue eyes containing dread met green ones filled with hope and Ron gave a sigh. "What? No. That wasn't Sirius. It was probably just a creature that Dumbledore has protecting the place and protecting students that wander too far in?" he said with a tone that shown he wasn't so sure of it himself.

"No! If that was true, then why didn't it come during my first and fifth year?!"

His head cocked to the side and got lost in thought then suddenly smiled slightly as he figured out what had to have been the reason. "Because of Firenze and Grawp."

A cold laugh came from his throat and he glared. "Bullshit. He's back and you know it!"

"Sirius is dead, Harry! Whether you want it to be true or not, it is! I would love for him to be back, to see my mother yell at him again or to see the way he made you laugh and actually feel happy, but he isn't back! And he is never coming back!" As soon as the words had escaped, Ron looked sorry for saying them. In the back of his mind, he thought more than anything it was Sirius, but Sirius was dead… right?

"Whatever. Believe what you want. He may have died but… he came back." And with that, Harry swung his legs over the bed, stood and stormed out of the room, thankful he was still dressed in his Hogwarts uniform. Though even more thankfully – Hermione was sitting in the common room, a quill tip in her mouth and gazing at the table in confusion as she worked over some type of homework, which was strange, as classes hadn't even started yet.

She groaned and slapped her forehead as if trying to remember. "What the hell are Aqudemns again?"

In a matter of moments, he sat down next to her and looked at the paper. "I remember they're some type of water creature."

"I know that but--"

"But why the hell are you working on homework when we haven't even had a class yet?"

She scoffed slightly at the question, like he should know. "Extra credit."

"Okay then… like you need it," he grumbled out with a roll of his eyes. "But what the hell happened yesterday? Why are my shoulder, Ron's leg and ankle wrapped?"

The quill was quickly placed on the table and she looked at him. "I found you two in front of the Gryffindor Tower entrance right when I was getting ready to look for you both. Sort of found you by tripping over you both. Well… you actually. Sorry."

"So that's why my leg hurts slightly?" He asked as he rubbed a small bruise.

"Yeah. Sorry. Well, you two were bleeding so badly. And… and I was so scared. But something told me that if you were supposed to go to the Hospital Wing, then you would have turned up there. You were both covered in blood and I was so worried…" By the time she finished the sentence, she was crying and it was only then that Harry realized how pale she was. "I had to use some of my blood. Took quite a bit but I managed to change it into your blood types and then I used some spells so it was duplicated enough times until there was enough. I thought you two were going to die." Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she tried to continue. "N-Now I deserve to know w-what happened!"

Harry sighed and pulled her into a hug with his good arm. "I'm so sorry. I don't know exactly. I mean, I do but… Ron and me were bored so we walked around, talking but by the time we noticed we had no clue where we were, we were completely lost in the forest. We wandered for a while until Ron fell over and broke his ankle on a tree root, then some centaurs found us. Shot us both with arrows. And… then…" It was becoming harder and harder to explain it all.

Chestnut hair slowly moved to show her face as she peered up at him. "Then what?"

"I don't know. Something came and saved us. I think it was Sirius. Well… Padfoot. But I'm almost certain!"

Her hand wiped the tears away and she sighed. "It wasn't him, Harry. He died. You should know that better than anyone."

Anger flared through every part of his body. Why didn't anyone believe him?! He knew what he saw! "Damn it! I felt his fur! I saw the outline of his body! I felt his muzzle against my cheek! The way he acted, the way he moved, it was him! He took a ton of arrows in his body for our safety! I probably still have his blood on me! You don't know what happened, so don't tell me what I saw was wrong! I'm the only one that seems to care about him anymore!" He shouted, though he was almost immediately sorry for saying it.

It seemed Hermione was sorry she had even helped by then. "Well, I know that he is dead! I can't help it if you want to live in the past but don't try and convince other people of things that aren't true! He's dead and he isn't coming back, no matter how much you want him to! Do you think you're really the only one who cares that he's gone?! I cried for days! Did you forget about Professor Lupin?! Three of his best friends are dead and another deserves to be dead, yet you keep thinking you're the only one who's suffering! You aren't! People are going through a lot worse than you, people miss him more than you, even though it is your fault he's gone!" As soon as the words escaped her lips, her hands covered them with wide eyes and she shook her head profusely. "I didn't mean… I didn't…"

Fists clenched at sides, it was all he could do not to start screaming at her. "So, that's it? Everyone thinks it's my fault that he died? Actually, you're completely right. I've killed Sirius, I've killed Cedric, I've killed Ginny, and I've killed my parents! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR?!" He shouted so loudly that Hermione's ears hurt, and he couldn't tell anymore if the moisture on his cheeks were of sweat or tears.

"Harry, calm down! This won't do us any good!" She yelled, though she was starting to cry again.

Not seeming to hear her words, he just continued. "AND NOW THE ONE PERSON THAT I HAVE A CHANCE OF HAVING A FEW GOOD YEARS WITH, JUST A FEW OF A NOT MESSED UP CHILDHOOD WITH, COMES BACK AND YOU WANT ME TO ACT LIKE HE'S DEAD?! IF HE WERE, I'D BE DEAD RIGHT NOW, HERMIONE! I WOULD HAVE DIED AT THE DURSLEYS AND THEN TODAY, AND SO WOULD HAVE RON! BUT YOU DON'T CARE, DO YOU?! ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR FREAKING GRADES!" And before he could stop himself, he was walking out of the common room, needing to get away.

Hermione collapsed to the ground, crying heavily. He would just blow up at her again if she tried to talk to him and maybe make it even worse but she felt like she should at least run after him. Her heart broke into pieces though as she heard him shout from the hall so loudly that a few portraits awoken, 'We're not friends anymore!' So she just ran up to her room, crying herself into a restless sleep.

Harry walked for what seemed like ages and didn't care that any teacher could find him and give him a month of detentions. No one believed him about Sirius, not even someone that saw him, and he had just lost one of his best friends because of his bloody temper. Nope. Detentions would be heaven compared to this.

'Damn it, damn it, damn it! Why can't I just keep quiet, for once?! I should be used to this by now! I should know that anything I see or think will not be believed, but those two always were right behind me for anything I said. Well… almost anything.'

He collapsed in a corner of the hall, hidden by a large statue as he remembered the way Hermione hadn't believed his dream two years ago and felt his scar begin to burn badly.

"And now this. My day is not going well," he whispered while he bit his lower lip due to pain shooting from his shoulder and throbbing in his scar.

"It isn't fair. I just want to live my life. I can't ever run and hide. I just want to know how I want to live my life. Not how others want me to live it. It isn't fair… My life hasn't ever been fair. What did I do to deserve my parents dying? Why couldn't I have died instead of my parents?" Every word seemed to make his scar burn worse and visions started to flood his mind at such a fast rate that he lost touch with reality.

Pictures flooded his mind so fast that he couldn't even see what they were. Then he heard a scream, but it wasn't his mother's… so many men… laughter… the so-familiar green light… a masculine scream… a hard push… a deep, loud scream…

And then everything went black as he heard a distant dull thud from his head hitting the concrete floor.

Before anyone asks, I know the centaurs have great aim but they wanted to see Harry and Ron in pain, I guess. Like, sorry for entering.

Also, there I rerecorrected it. I'm in such a bad mood right now so I'm going to start the next chapter, just so I can get my mind off of things and maybe put a lot of angst into it. Sometimes, I think people hate me and love to watch my heart break into a thousand pieces and then other times, I'm absolutely sure my mother is the one that gets the most pleasure from it. Fuck it! I just want my laptop fixed so I can live in my room again and only talk to my friends!

So many fucking things going on in my damn life that I may not update for like a while. I don't know. Just… whatever. I don't even care right now… ::goes off to write novel and then story::