this is a story i started a WAY long time ago. a different result for grissom's hearing. takes place after 2nd season finale. 4th and 5th chapter will come eventually.

Man, I knew it was gonna be a long day.

I knew it, I knew it. I knew it when I woke up in the morning with my stomach in my throat and my head pounding as the curtains failed to keep the sunlight from pouring in. I knew it when I had to run to the toilet to make sure I didn't throw up on my new carpet. And I really knew it when I staggered back into my bedroom and found the mostly naked girl sleeping on my sheets.

A few years ago, this wouldn't of been that big of a deal. Naked girl, bad hangover, vomit taste in mouth. . .A B C good time last night for Nicky Stokes. But now it's a little different, and all because of two people: Kristi Hopkins and Nigel Crane.

Since Kristi's death, I hadn't slept around much. . .or at all. I tried to have a nice time with this red head who works in the AV lab but when we were on the date, I just choked, and ended up driving her home early. It's weird. I can't stand the idea of wasting my time on a relationship with no meaning. . .but I don't know I'm ready for any sort of relationship with meaning, a relationship where we tell each other everything, where there aren't any secrets. I'm no Grissom when it comes to mystery. . .you don't have to get through sixteen Zen riddles to find out the name of the dog I had growing up. . .but there are somethings that just don't get told. Things that are meant to stay private, stay secret.

And I guess I moved out of my house a few months ago because I didn't feel like I had that privacy anymore. Nigel Crane had been everywhere, touched everywhere. He'd worn my clothes, watched me sleep. . .he must have seen both dreams and nightmares that only I was supposed to see. And I just couldn't stand living there anymore. I. . .felt his eyes on me, or something. It's stupid but true. I couldn't sleep there.

So I moved. And since then, I hadn't had anyone over, even though Greg was dead set on giving me a housewarming party, which, I suspect, is more like a bachelor party with strippers and handcuffs in his mind. I don't know why I instantly cringe against the idea of having people inside my home. But I do, so I keep the doors locked. . .and now there's some blonde who I don't remember lying in my bed, with only her panties on.

"It's gonna be a long day," I said to myself, and when the phone rang and Catherine said the words "It's Grissom," I really knew just how long it was gonna be.

I helped the girl find her clothes before I ushured her out the door as quickly as I could without seeming like a total asshole. Apparantly the effort was wasted because she screamed all sorts of things at me but my head hurt just a bit too much to really care. I got dressed and looked in the mirror, seeing how not GQ I looked, but left anyway without bothering to shave. Catherine made it sound pretty urgent, whatever it was. She hadn't said exactly what was wrong with Grissom, except for the fact that he wasn't dying or anything.

God, I didn't want to go into work today. I didn't want Grissom to see me like this.

To my surprise, I didn't have to. When I got to the lab, Catherine, Sara, and Warrick were all there, waiting, but Grissom was nowhere in sight. I sat down on the couch and during a brief moment of silence, I wondered again what could be wrong with him. Everybody had noticed to one degree or another that Grissom had been a little off lately, like he was in his own world all of the time. Or more so than normal, I guess. No one in their right mind would ever describe Grissom as ordinary. He races cockroaches, for Christsake.

When the moment of silence appeared that it was going to stretch on for awhile, I finally decided to say, "So, what's the stich, Cath? What's going on?". This prompted Sara and Warrick to make half a dozen guesses, all to which Catherine shook her head and finally held up her hands to shut everybody up again. When we did, Catherine took a breath and decided against sugarcoating it for us.

"Grissom's gone deaf."

A chorus of "whats?" (Sara), "huh?" (me), and "what the hell are you talking about?" (Warrick), prompted Catherine to put up her hands again and we all settled down. Catherine looked down at the ground for a minute and then back up at us. She had that clear, cold look she gets sometimes when she's trying to show off how tough she is, how she doesn't need help. That look, that I'm the Biggest Bitch in the Room and You Better Back Off look, is never a good sign because it's almost always a silent lie.

"He's got otosclerosis. It's a hereditary disease of the ear, something he got from his mother, who also went deaf very early. Right now, Grissom's in the hospital, staying overnight to have some tests run and to observe for signs of progress, but it's pretty clear cut: Grissom's gone deaf completely and permanently. There's nothing anyone can do."

The moment of silence from before came back and this time I didn't break it. The four of us sat in silence for a long time until Warrick, unable to keep quiet any longer, finally asked, "So, what's going to happen? To the lab, I mean---is he going to stay on? CAN he even stay on and still be the boss?"

"We don't know yet," Catherine said. She rubbed her forehead unconsciously and I realized she looked tired, about as tired as I felt. "For right now while he's in the hospital, I'm going to take over, but as for any sort of permanent replacement, if there is one, is unknown. That's going to be up to Covallo to decide."

"Oh, we might as well have Ecklie take over, then," I said without thinking. "Covallo hates Grissom."

"I know it," Catherine said drily, "but it's what we got. Anyway, Grissom figured you'd guys would have to know what's going on. Speaking of which, I have to go see if he's okay so----"

Without bothering to finish the sentence, Catherine left the room, and Warrick, Sara, and I just sat there in silence.

I felt like I had to say something. I was the optimistic one of the group, the "naive" one, everyone says, the people person, and I felt obligated to say something to try and cheer the other two up, to spark some hope in. After all, if naive Nicky doesn't think everything's going to be okay, then the world must just be at an end, right?

God, I was tired.

"Don't worry, guys," I said. "They won't fire Grissom, they can't. I mean, sure they'll have to make readjustments but come on, man, it's Grissom. He'll always be here."

"Yeah," Warrick said, his voice sounding heavy, "always."

Warrick stood up and left. Sara sat for a minute, as if frozen, but also got up, never once looking at me, her thoughts all on for Grissom. Well, some things never change, I suppose.

I looked at the clock. It was barely eleven in the morning.

A long damn day, and it wasn't anywhere near over yet