Chapter Four: "In The Air"
Once they were in the air Sam leaned his head back, closed his eyes & unwillingly his mind wandered right to
Catherine, his heart ached at the very thought of her, it seemed like he couldn't think of anything else lately, his mind wandered back over the years he'd known her, of the love they'd shared together & how their careers had eventually driven them apart, his thoughts then turning to the last three months they'd had together, he'd never forget the day that Catherine called him to her office & told him that she had cancer, he remembered feeling like someone had punched him in the stomach, he'd held her & they'd cried for what seemed like forever, but was really only a few minutes & then she'd told him what the doctors had told her, they gave her only four months, at the most, to live.
Sam had gone home that night feeling worse than he'd ever remembered feeling & it was then that he'd made a decision, he would take a leave of absence so that he could be with Catherine for the time she had, when he arrived at work the next morning, he'd called his team into a special meeting & informed them of Catherine's illness & his decision to take time off, they were stunned at the news & Cosmo had offered to fill in for Sam for as long as was needed & for which Sam was grateful, he knew that he could count on his "kids". The months that had followed had been the worst of Sam's life, he had hoped that the doctors would be wrong, but as the days & the weeks passed & Catherine got weaker & weaker, he knew that the time was at hand, the radiation treatments had caused her hair to fall out & the medications she was on made her extremely sick, it had eventually come to the point where she was bedridden & Sam had sat by her side every minute day & night, during that time they'd talked about their relationship all down through the years & the regret that they both felt for letting their careers get in the way & drive them apart.
Sam vividly remembered his final night with Catherine, the night she'd died, she had been going in & out of consciousness all day & he'd feared the end was near, then, late that night, Catherine came to full consciousness she kept saying she had something important to tell Sam, Sam tried to tell her not to talk, to save her strength, but Catherine insisted, she wanted to tell him the real reason she had left him all those years ago & then she told him something that he still had trouble believing, that he, Sam Gerard, had a son. Catherine had told him that she'd been terrified when she found out she was pregnant with his child, terrified of what Sam would say so she decided that leaving would be best, after the child was born she put him up for adoption & never saw him again, until the day Noah Newman joined the team, even then Catherine chose not to tell Sam fearing that he would shun the boy if he'd known.
At first Sam had chalked it up to the medication she was on & soon after, Catherine slipped away. Sam didn't think any more about what she'd told him until the day, several weeks after the funeral, he'd gone to her apartment to begin sorting through her things, he'd been going through her files & things when he'd come across a box that had been tucked away at the bottom of the desk drawer, curious, he'd opened it & found letters, photos, copies of adoption papers & a birth certificate that bore the name Noah Walsh with his & Catherine's names listed as the parents, "this can't be true," he'd thought bewildered & yet, deep in his heart he knew it was true, as he already looked on Noah as a son.
he remembered looking through the adoption papers & finding the name knew he would find, Noah W. Newman. After his find, he hadn't been able to do anything else so he'd gathered the contents of the box up & driven home his mind racing, as he drove he wondered whether Noah knew & if not he knew he'd have to tell him, it was only fair, but he would not tell the rest of the team, not yet, "better to let Noah & I get used to the idea before we tell the others," he'd thought.
The next morning, Sam had driven to work with the papers he'd found as he was going to tell Noah what he'd found, surprisingly enough Noah had beat Sam to the office that morning so they were able to talk alone. As soon as he'd gotten a cup of coffee, he'd called Noah into his office, "I need to talk to you a minute," he'd said after he'd shut the door & they gotten settled, "did I do something wrong boss?" Noah had asked, "no, no, it's just..there's something I need to tell you," Sam answered, then he'd slowly told Noah what Catherine had told him the night she died & he told him of the discovery that he'd made last night. "I found these papers here in a box in Catherine's desk, a birth certificate & copies of adoption papers...with your name on it," Sam said handing the papers across the desk to Noah, Noah, looking bewildered, scanned the adoption papers quickly, "I don't understand, I mean, I knew that I was adopted but, what you're saying.." he cut himself off abruptly as he looked at the birth certificate & caught sight of the names listed as his parents, Catherine Walsh & Sam Gerard, "you, you mean.." Noah looked at Sam "you're my father?" he finally choked out, overcome with emotion "yes" Sam whispered. "I..I just, it's a lot to take in ya know?" Noah said softly "I know it is son, it's hard for me too",but I want to you know that I never knew about this until right before Catherine died, before that she had never said a word to me so I hope you don't think I abandoned you" Sam said watching Noah intently "no, I know, I..I just need some time to think" Noah whispered, "I understand, take your time, it's going to take some getting used to, ok?" Sam answered, "you're excused". Noah got up, handed the papers back to Sam & hurried out of the office, Sam sighed softly, "well, that went pretty well I guess, at least he doesn't hate me." he thought to himself as he stared out the window overlooking the city.
Abruptly Sam was jarred from his thoughts by a voice & someone shaking his shoulder, "Sam? Sam, hey Sam wake up" Cosmo said, shaking his shoulder, "huh?" Sam muttered, "man, what is it with everybody spacing out today?" Cosmo exclaimed as Savannah jabbed him with her elbow, "ouch! hey..." he started to say before he caught Savannah glaring at him. Sam looked around quickly, the plane had landed & everyone was gathering their bags together, Sam stood up & they all filed off the plane Sam, half listening to his kids bickering, thinking to himself "it's going to be a long night."