~Chapter 7: The 22nd Tenka'ichi Budôkai~

The next day, we met with Bulma and Oolong at the airport and set off toward the Budôkai arena. Lunch came with us that time, she wanted to see the tournament, and besides, Kushami didn't give us much of a choice. The plane ride seemed longer than it really was because we were so excited that we thought we might burst. I felt pretty confident about my chances at the tournament. I was sure that I could beat Yamucha if I had to, and I assumed I'd passed up that "Jackie Chun" guy by then, so the only person I was worried about was Goku. Actually, that was another reason for us to be excited - we were going to get to see Goku again. I wondered if Goku even remembered the tournament. We hadn't heard from him in a dog's age.

After arriving and being held up rather embarrassingly by Muten Roshi's rather active bladder, we went to the arena and Yamucha and I signed up. Since "Jackie Chun" was there too, I assume that Muten Roshi signed up when we weren't looking. Although I didn't look much different than I had at the last tournament, I didn't get any bewildered stares that time, at least not from the monk taking the sign-ups. Yamucha and I were very recognized from the previous tournament.

After signing up, our group was accosted by a strange old man. Like Muten Roshi, the old man wore sunglasses and seemed to be running a matial arts school. He recognized Roshi and they seemed to have known each other for a very long time. It was clear immediately that there was little love lost between Muten Roshi and "The Crane Master". They confronted each other, and Yamucha and I stood on either side of Muten Roshi. The crane master was flanked by his students Tenshinhan and Chaozu, who, oddly enough, were respectively about as tall and short as Yamucha and I, which turned the whole scene into a bizarre mirror image. (Tenshinhan also had three eyes, but there were a lot of weird looking people there, myself included.) The two old masters had a deep rivalry, and as his students, Yamucha and I were pulled into it. I immediately found myself disliking the Crane Master and his students. They were really arrogant, and they called us worthless trash. The way that he and Roshi were trash-talking each other, I thought that at any moment they'd just start beating each other up, but they managed to seperate before that happened. Tense.

As we continued to stand around and scan the crowd, we started to get worried about Goku. The deadline for signing up was approaching. We were even going to have Pu'ar take his shape and sign up as him, but when we saw a small boy in a leopard-skin loincloth running toward us and making a big commotion, we knew immediately that Goku had arrived. He gave us an excited greeting, and we learned that he'd swam from halfway around the world to get to the tournament, which was utterly insane - typical Goku. His tail had grown back, and he'd gotten somewhat taller. Although he was still short, he was to the point where he could confidently call me "shorty", which pissed me off a little. Now everyone was taller than me. I got over it, though.

I had a really great feeling going into the 22nd Budôkai Tournament. I feel like a kid again just thinking about it. It felt really great to be competing with my two best friends, Yamucha and Goku. The three of us chattered constantly when we weren't fighting, mostly about what we'd been doing all this time. A lot of the conversation was pretty inconsequential. Really, I think that the point of it was more about who we were talking to than what we were saying. I felt really lucky to have such good friends. I felt excited about the tournament, too. There were going to be a lot of strong people there, but I still felt like I had a chance. I wondered idly if Goku had gotten much stronger. He still looked the same.

I felt an odd sense of deja vu as we came back into the area where the qualifiers were held. It was just like the last time - the crowd of entrants consisted of big and imposing people that made me nervous, and the tournament itself seemed to have an untouchable enormity. One thing was different from last time, though - I was easily one of the strongest people there, and this time, I knew it. That colored my perception of the events a bit. The qualifiers were pretty easy, as usual. Yamucha humiliated his first opponent, and then I was paired up against a giant again. That seems to happen a lot. You know, I'm somewhat famous among followers of the Tenka'ichi Budôkai for easily dispatching people twenty times my size. It's always the same deal - I try to be polite, my opponent laughs and loudly boasts that it's "too easy" and that I'm "nothing", then I sigh, whip them good, and enjoy the gaping stares of disbelief from the crowd. Ahh, my public.

We had another unpleasant run-in with the arrogant Tenshinhan, and Yamucha started getting nasty and throwing profanities at him. We thought that Tenshinhan was all talk, but when we saw the utter ease with which he defeated his opponent, we had to think again. Tenshinhan was definitely in the winning class of fighters. I've always felt kind of sorry for the other participants in the Budôkai. They are masters of their disciplines, all, but they really just have no chance of winning. It's always the same, there's a group of people who can really compete. For the 22nd Budôkai, that group consisted of Tenshinhan and Chaozu plus me and my friends, not to mention "Jackie Chun", who we ran into shortly after Tenshinhan's match. Well, okay, maybe that isn't entirely true. Goku's first opponent was really good, so good that he might have even gave Yamucha or I a run for our money, but he was nothing to Goku. I started to worry about my chances.

We all made it to the big show. None of us got paired together in the qualifiers, which is a bit too much of a coincidence if you ask me. Someone was probably rigging the brackets, most likely Tenshinhan and Chaozu. The finalists were Goku, Yamucha, Tenshinhan, Chaozu, *cough cough* "Jackie Chun", Wereman, who was actually the opposite of a werewolf(bizarre...), Pamputt, who was just an "other" who was lucky enough to make it in, and of course, me. That same cool announcer guy had us draw lots for matchups, but that was probably rigged too.

After all of the pomp and fanfare, Yamucha had the first match against Tenshinhan. As always, the finalists had the best view available if they wanted it. The crowd roared as they stepped out into the arena, and they had good reason. Yamucha and Tenshinhan were serious fighters, and they had the look and feel of it. The bit of grudge and rivalry that sparked between them and the deeper rivalry between their respective schools weren't lost on the crowd, and served to make it all the more exciting. I smiled confidently, convinced that Yamucha would give that arrogant jerk what was coming to him. Goku seemed doubtful. I bet he already knew how to sense ki then.

That battle was quick and intense. They exchanged flurries of blows, they danced around each other, they took to the sky. The crowd fell silent at the display of ferocity, but it only made me more excited. This was what fighting was SUPPOSED to be. Yamucha used the fist of the wolf fang on Tenshinhan, and he countered it effectively. In fact, he soon began to get the upper hand, and I felt bad for Yamucha - it looked like he'd lost for sure. I didn't know what he had up his sleeve. He smiled confidently and took an odd stance. It took me a second, but I recognized it just before I heard him say, "Kame... Hame..." Man, was I shocked. I guess that while I was out bumming around town and in learning to keep house, Yamucha had been taking his training more seriously than I'd thought. Sure enough, a potent burst of energy issued from Yamucha's outstretched hands. It was a pretty good one. It didn't shock me as much as what Tenshinhan did, though - he blocked it. Not only did he block it, but somehow he managed to throw it BACK at Yamucha. Whoof. I felt that old sick feeling from the last tournament returning. The match was just brutal after that. He beat Yamucha up badly, and after he'd already won, he snapped the poor guy's leg just for kicks. It was horrible. I could actually see Yamucha's leg twisted completely around. I really hated Tenshinhan right then. Before, it had just been a rivalry, but this guy was clearly up to no good. It was no longer a matter of pride or sportsmanship for Goku and I to defeat him, it was duty. He was abusing his power, and as Muten Roshi had told us, it was our duty to crush him with a mighty blow.

The next match was a relief. It was about as far from serious as you can get. "Jackie Chun" fought the wereman, if you could call it a fight. He seemed to have a grudge against Chun for destroying the moon in the previous tournament, and he wanted to get even. The old master didn't even have to try; he spent most of the match facing backwards. To be honest, I spent most of that match watching Tenshinhan, not the fighting. He and Chaozu were floating, and I'd never seen anyone do that before. The first thing I thought was, "Man, I have GOT to learn how to do that." Meanwhile, Chun humiliated his opponent by making him do tricks like a dog. He even won by having him fetch a bone that he threw out of the ring. The audience roared with laughter. It was pretty funny, but what caught my attention was that Chun said that he'd help the guy transform into a human. I didn't understand. Without the moon, how could he? I was more confused than ever when Jackie Chun asked me to step into the ring and help him out. I got it once he had the wereman look at the back of my head, though - he was going to hypnotize him into believing that my head was the full moon. Ooooh, that was humiliating. Chun was saying ridiculous things like "It's the moon.... it's round..." and the audience thought that the whole thing was too much, especially when it actually worked and the wolf-guy turned into a human. The announcer started calling me "Full Moon" Kuririn. Urgh. It wasn't funny, darn it. At the Orinji temple, a properly shined head was a matter of great pride. Of course, it would be years before I admitted to myself that, hey, it WAS funny. I must have looked patently ridiculous for all those years. Oh well.

My match was against Chaozu. The audience probably didn't think that it was going to be a very serious match after my episode with standing in for the moon. Besides, Chaozu looked kind of bizarre all made up like a doll. There's something weird about that guy. I've never seen him otherwise. Fighting Chaozu was just odd. I've never fought or even seen anyone fight before or since with such a style. He zipped around like a statue, barely even moving his limbs. I was more powerful than Chaozu in that match, but he still managed to scare the hell out of me. He caught me off-guard at first, but after I got my bearings I hit him pretty good and came after him with a rapid succession of blows. It was clear that he was having a hard time blocking, and he couldn't really compete with me on my level, so he didn't really try. Instead, he flew to the sky where he knew that I couldn't follow. I was really in a bind then - while I could jump high enough to reach him, he'd then have lots of mobility and I'd have none, which was like asking to be knocked out of the ring. While I was trying to figure out what to do, Chaozu threw another surprise at me. He smiled at me and said, "Now it's my turn. Dodonpa!"

Suddenly, a ki blast less than an inch in diameter shot out of his finger and came at me with unbelievable speed. I barely had the time to dodge it. I'd never seen a Dodonpa before! It was so unfair! The attack was both quicker and more powerful than the Kamehameha. I barely had time to react to that before Chaozu launched about a dozen more of them at me. I started to despair. Chaozu could do all of this fancy stuff like flying and the Dodonpa, and what did I have? Nothing. I started thinking, if only I could at least do the Kamehameha.... It was like a light switch had been turned on in my mind. The Kamehameha! Sure, why not? Hell, I figured that if Yamucha could do it, than I could. I took the position that I'd seen before so many times, one hand out, the other extended palm up, concentrated my ki into my hands, mumbled out a quick "Kamehameha" and extended my hands outward. Peuf. Sure enough, I got one. It was a tiny, inconsequential little flare, but it was a Kamehameha.

While I was doing that, I guess that Tenshinhan must have found out that Goku had killed The Crane Master's brother Taopaipai and told his master, because I heard the Crane Master order Chaozu to kill me. Chaozu nodded and started charging up a much larger Dodonpa. I started building a Kamehameha myself - it was only my second ever, but it had to count. I heard Muten Roshi(Chun) yelling at me that I didn't have a chance and I had to get away, but I shut him out. I had a plan. It was a hasty, thrown-together plan, but you go with what you've got. When Chaozu launched the Dodonpa, I held the potential Kamehameha in a second longer and jumped over his attack, which created an utterly enormous explosion on the arena. (Well, it seemed utterly enormous then - it was about the size of four school buses. I hadn't had a whole lot of experience with explosions yet.) I pulled it off pretty well. I jumped so quickly that everyone thought I was caught in the blast, then I came up to Chaozu's level and released the Kamehameha. I hadn't had much practice, so even after all the charging it wasn't that great of a Kamehameha, but it did knock Chaozu out of the sky. He managed to stop himself from falling out of the ring, but even so, we were on my level again, and I pressed the attack. Chaozu had one last trick to pull, though. He stretched out his arms and suddenly I felt a tremendous pain in my stomach. It was so terrible that I had to double over and stop moving. I recognized the ability immediately - he was paralyzing me with telekinesis, just like General Blue. He probably could've just pushed me out then, but he kicked me around instead. As he did, though, I noticed something important: Chaozu's telekinesis was different from General Blue's in that he used his hands, not his eyes. Somehow, I had to disable his hands, but it seemed pretty impossible when I couldn't even move. And yet Chaozu didn't seem all that smart, and he was gullible...

"Chaozu!" I shouted. "What's three plus four?" Can you believe it? It worked. He started counting on his fingers, and I was released. He got control again, but it just took another math problem to make him lose his concentration and I pushed him out of the ring. Go me, huh? Actually, I thought that that victory was pretty cool because Chaozu threw everything in the book at me. Plus, I made a Kamehameha on my first try. Not too bad.

The next match was really short, and it only served to show how much stronger we were than even the strongest "normal" people. Goku beat Pamputt really easily. Then it was Tenshinhan versus Jackie Chun. I still didn't know that Jackie Chun was really Muten Roshi, but I considered him to be our friend, and I knew that he was really strong. I was looking forward to watching him teach that arrogant jerk Tenshinhan a lesson, but Goku wasn't so sure.

Ah, I hate to interrupt the flow of things, but I'd really hate to offend anyone, so I think that this might be as good of a place as anywhere to say this - I don't really mean all of the things I'm saying. Let me explain. Tenshinhan, although I haven't seen him in years, is a brave man for whom I've come to have a lot of respect. I only thought that he was an arrogant jerk at the time. I've been afraid that this volume would be nothing but boring reminiscence, so I'm constantly striving to put myself back into the mindset in which I was while the events were happening. Not only is this a huge catharsis for me, but I also like to think that it keeps the reminiscing to a minimum and makes for a more exciting read. I've changed a lot over the years, and I'm not the sort to hold grudges, so if you're anyone involved, you should try to remember that unless I say otherwise, I might not feel some of the things I'm saying here anymore about hating certain people. Okay. That was really awkward, but I'm glad to have it out of the way. Thanks.

Back on the point, the battle went all-out quickly. Tenshinhan was very powerful, but Muten Roshi's greater experience served him well, and it was one hell of a battle. Roshi tried the after-image pattern technique, but Tenshinhan saw through it with his three eyes. Tenshinhan moved his hands very quickly, which would have thrown me off, but somehow Muten Roshi stood calmly and grabbed his hands as if out of thin air, immobilizing them and taking the opportunity to give Tenshinhan a powerful kick. I was excited to see Jackie Chun doing so well, but there was a solemn expression frozen on Goku's face, as if he knew something I didn't. I imagine that he was probably either sensing Tenshinhan's ki and finding it to be exceptionally powerful, or he was worried about the evil intentions of the Crane Master. Either way, I was oblivious. The battle was pretty even after that until Tenshinhan used the Taiyoken. The Taiyoken, or "the fist of the sun", is a simple but brilliant move that uses ki concentration similar to that used in blast attacks for a different purpose. It causes a great flash of light to radiate quickly from the user's aura, blinding everyone in the area for a considerable amount of time. That simple little move has pulled us from the brink more times than I'd care to count. It blinded most of us at the arena, and I didn't see Tenshinhan hit Jackie Chun, but I heard the ten count. By the time I could see again, the old master had already struggled back to his feet. Rather than start fighting again immediately, Muten Roshi talked to Tenshinhan for a bit. I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, but it was something about not being evil and leaving his master. He must have really hit a nerve, because Tenshinhan got really pissed off and attacked him again. Then he used a Kamehameha, which just killed me. He must have learned it just by watching Yamucha do it once. His was better than mine, too. What was really shocking, though, was that he aimed it at the crowd! If Muten Roshi-sama hadn't deflected it, it might have killed somebody. It was scary. We tensed up, wondering what would happen next. We couldn't have anticipated that Jackie Chun would simply leap off of the side of the arena, saying, "My turn is over." He didn't seem dejected over losing at all. In fact, I think he whistled as he left the arena. That was the last time we ever saw "Jackie Chun".

It was Goku versus me after that. Sigh... Goku and I had never really fought before, and I wasn't looking forward to it. Goku was excited, he said that he'd always wanted to see how good I was. I think I might have begun to turn a pale shade of green. I gathered myself and I told him that I wanted him to fight me as hard as he could. He told me not to worry. We went into that battle with a nice mutual respect for each other, even though I was obviously far the weaker of us two. I probably could've had a lot of fun in that battle, trying my skills on my best friend, except that I made a foolish, prideful mistake as I stepped out onto the arena.

"I've got to win this," I told myself. "I've got to beat Goku." I meant it. I would stop at nothing to win. The fight started, and I put everything I had into attacking Goku. I recalled everything that I'd learned in my training at the Orinji temple, during my training with Muten Roshi, and in my sparring with Yamucha. I focused my ki and I flew at him, throwing a specifically controlled storm of blows. I had to be strong. I had to be tough. I had to be fast. I had to win. Boy, was I deluding myself. I couldn't hit him, and he hit me immediately when he attacked me, but I wouldn't get the idea out of my head. I recovered, and I defended against Goku's next volley. We took a little break then, and it was already looking hopeless for me. I wouldn't give up, though. I had a lot of tricks left, and I'd use every last one if that's what it took. I took a stance that put all of my weight onto one leg and put all of my strength into that leg, causing me to launch at Goku with tremendous speed. I learned that bit from Yamucha. It's actually a part of the fist of the wolf fang, which is a very complex and involved technique. In that way, I finally managed to hit Goku, and I pressed that for all it was worth. I followed up with a kick and dove after him, and he jumped high to avoid. I think I shouted something like "I'm gonna kick your ass" and he replied with something like "You wish". To be young again, eh?

I jumped after Goku and blinded him temporarily by reflecting the sun off of my head, and I thought I had him when I spiked him back to the ground, but he recovered. Goku told me that I was doing great and that he was having a lot of fun. He was very calm. I felt like I didn't have much left in me. Goku used a special attack on me that used the Kamehameha to build up momentum for an attack. That hurt like hell, and I barely got up. I tried attacking Goku, but he was clearly getting tired of the match and dodged and struck back as easily as he probably could have all along. After that I began to lose hope for winning. Of course, I was never in that match and Goku wasn't even really going full on. Still, I had fun despite how serious I tried to be going in. I hadn't quite given up yet at that point, though. I had one last idea, and I pinned everything on it. I started to build a Kamehameha. Goku seemed to think that that was almost funny, and he told me to go ahead and see how much good it did me. Of course, he blocked the Kamehameha without flinching, but I only launched it to distract him. While he was busy impressing everyone by taking the Kamehameha like it was nothing, I circled around and grabbed his tail, which I remembered was his weakness. I squeezed it and I felt a surge of triumph as Goku wavered and fell to the mat with a splat. He was only messing with me, though - he'd trained his tail to protect against that, and on the "9" count, he got up and threw me around with his tail. That was really frustrating. That was when I gave up. I don't want to talk about the rest of the match, it's making me depressed. He beat me, let's just leave it there.

The final with Goku and Tenshinhan was really something. After the way he'd treated us, we couldn't let Tenshinhan win. He had to pay. I told Goku that he'd better kick his butt. Before the fight started, Muten Roshi came dressed as himself and stood with me to get a better view. I told him kind of nervously that spectators weren't supposed to be back where we were, but he told me to just hush and watch the fight. Goku started the match fighting at the same level that he'd been fighting at when he fought against me, and Tenshinhan ran him into the ground. I couldn't believe how brutal he was. Tenshinhan hit like a machine gun, and it was just sickening watching him beat Goku up that way. I was just astonished - this couldn't be right. Goku was supposed to be stronger than him, he was supposed to teach him a lesson. I couldn't stomach the thought of Tenshinhan getting away with what he'd done and winning. He sure seemed to be winning as he threw Goku up into the air and spiked him downward so hard that everyone in the audience thought that he'd killed him. I knew Goku was made of tougher stuff then that, though. I was more relieved than shocked when Goku got right back up. "You're pretty good," he said, smiling, "I guess I'll have to get tough with you." Oh man, Tenshinhan was livid. I cheered. That was more like it. Goku had the match well in hand after that. Tenshinhan was a bit stronger, I think, but Goku was much tougher and faster. Goku evaded Tenshinhan's attacks with amazing speed and made ingenious use of the after-image pattern technique, making multliple images in midair until not even Tenshinhan could tell which one was him. Even when Tenshinhan tried the Taiyoken, it didn't work on Goku, who quickly borrowed Muten Roshi's sunglasses to protect his eyes. Come to think of it, that was the first time I actually saw Muten Roshi without his glasses. His eyes seemed oddly familiar from somewhere, but I couldn't place it.

I felt confident as Goku and Tenshinhan started fighting again, because I could tell that if things kept going like they were then he had it in the bag. When they charged at each other again, though, Goku seemed to halt suddenly in midair and he took a punch head-on from Tenshinhan. I knew right away that something was very wrong. Even I could've blocked Tenshinhan's punch, so why didn't Goku? Both Goku and Muten Roshi looked angry and seemed to know what was going on as the same thing happened again and again. I was really confused, but then I saw Chaozu in the audience holding his hand steady and the Crane Master grinning like a baboon. Chaozu was using his telekinetic powers to immobilize Goku, which was totally against the rules of the tournament, but the officials couldn't tell. It was unfair, but there was nothing I could do but watch helplessly as Tenshinhan knocked Goku down and the ten-count went by while an unseen force prevented Goku from standing. What a disgrace the tournament would be when it was won like that! Then Tenshinhan surprised me. It may have been that Muten Roshi's speeches got to him, but I think it was more that Tenshinhan wasn't really evil, and his inner sense of right wouldn't let him take that path any further. "Stop!" He shouted with such force that Chaozu immediately let up, letting Goku stand again. It was then that we saw how evil the Crane Master really was. He jumped to his feet in the stand and ordered Tenshinhan to kill Goku. I was suprised and thrilled to see Tenshinhan deliberately defy his master. Although he'd claimed to have the ambition of following in the footsteps of Taopaipai, the world's greatest assassin, Tenshinhan was no killer. Outraged, the Crane Master ordered Chaozu to freeze Tenshinhan and Goku so that he could kill them both, but even Chaozu had turned against his evil master. The old man lost it then and started trying to strangle Chaozu to death. No one had time to do anything before Muten Roshi shoved me aside and let loose an enormous Kamehameha that hit the Crane Master and carried him far away from the arena. It all happened very fast. After that, no one knew what to do or think. For a good fifteen seconds, everyone in the stadium stood frozen, until Muten Roshi shouted, "Well, on with the fight!" Slowly, as if coming out of a trance, Tenshinhan and Goku got back into their fighting stances, and everyone else followed suit. Personally, I was still a little confused.

The battle was a lot better without the tension of rivalry or the threat of evil. Tenshinhan knew he couldn't beat Goku fighting normally, so he started using weird techniques. The first thing that he did was sprout two extra arms. I have no idea what kind of technique that is or how it works. I understand how ki blasts work, but things like that four-arm move of Tenshinhan's just confuse me. That move was so shocking that it even caught Goku off-guard, but after a little while he just started moving more quickly to compensate for Tenshinhan's advantage, so Tenshinhan dropped the extra arms and went ahead to his desperation move. When Chaozu and Muten Roshi figured out what he was going to do, they suddenly started shouting at him and begging him not to do it. Tenshinhan even told Goku to dodge the attack because he didn't want to kill him. I had no idea what was going on, but I was getting really nervous - what kind of attack could be so dangerous that he would warn Goku to dodge it like that? Even worse, Goku seemed to stubborn to move out of the way, so I was worried that it just might actually kill him. That would not have made for a pleasant end to the tournament. The Kikouhou is a ridiculously large blast that is actually launched from one's hands, but it is so enormous that it appears to come from the entire aura. Although it's very powerful, I've never used it; I'd never want to use it, either, for the Kikouhou drains the user's life force. If it's used when weak, or more than once, or improperly, or if you put too much energy into it, it can use all of your energy and kill you. Later on, Tenshinhan seemed to have an affinity for using that attack several times in a row, which I'll never understand. When he used it then, it destroyed the entire ring. The Tenka'ichi Budôkai ring is very large, both to accomodate more seating and to allow for more movement in the battle without a ring out, but Tenshinhan's blast left a deep, gaping hole where it used to be. There were several painful seconds when I thought that he'd slain Goku. It felt like my heart had been tied in a knot. He was okay, though - he'd leapt high into the air to avoid the attack. At that point, since there was no more ring, whoever touched the ground first was the loser. Tenshinhan seemed the clear winner because he could fly, but Goku used his Kamehameha-momentum technique to knock Tenshinhan unconscious so that he couldn't fly. I didn't see what happened after that, but according to the announcer, Goku deflected off of something and hit the ground first, making Tenshinhan the winner. Phew. It doesn't get much closer than that. It isn't often that a crowd is silent in astonishment after the end of a tournament. It seemed appropriate then. I'll bet that no one in that audience forgot that tournament very quickly. Unfortunately, what I have so much trouble forgetting is what happened immediately afterward: my own death.

--END OF CHAPTER SEVEN--