Figure shrouded in cigarette smoke Heya! It's me again! Wow, I've actually been able to keep updating regularly! This is amazing! I am GOD! MUHAHAHAHA! Lightning hits sonofduress well okay, I'm not God ...
I'm surprised by the lack of suggestions for this series...anything from pairings to new characters, every input is considered and contemplated, so don't feel shy. Email me at with any suggestions! This fic has no plan (not even pairings, although I have considered many) and nothing is certain...so send them in!
Standard Disclaimer: Love Hina belongs to Ken Akamatsu; this delicious cheese sandwich is mine! ALL MINE!!! MUHAHAHA! Ahem...the cat stole the cheese sandwich...ARRGHH!
Chapter 3: The Day They Met the Landlord, Evening of January the 8th
There was a heated discussion in the living room of the Hinata, the object of the tenet's discussion was currently outside, smoking a cigarette and working on his motorbike, enjoying the sunset and generally trying to ignore the raised voices coming from the living room. Dan knew that his chances of getting this job were slim; he hadn't thought that Hinata would be an all-girls dorm. He had brief flashes of a few perverse fantasies, but quickly shook them away. Shinobu had told him that there had been 6 other landlords prior to him, and none had lasted that long. Apparently the job had psychical danger and the locals avoided it like the plague. The first landlord, a Keitaro Urashima, had married a prior tenet and moved out, leaving his sister Kanako to look after the place when there wasn't a landlord.
Earlier that day there had been a slight commotion at Hinata, a small-scale war as a matter of fact, as the girls found out about the male lurking under their roof. Su and Sara were the first to arrive home from school, and they had quickly dashed upstairs to their room to avoid Shinobu, who tended to delegate duties for cooking; something both girls were keen not to get involved in. So they scrambled to Su's room, using several secret passages along the way.
"Check this out!" Su called, "My Mecha-Tama Mk 16!"
"You're still building those things?" Su asked, sweat dropping.
"Designed to protect Hinata against males, perverts and flying turtles who say 'Myu!'" Su continued, blissfully unaware of Sara's remark, "Now all I need to do, is pull this lever, punch that button, enter the access code..." 30 minutes later Mecha-Tama Mk 16 came online and promptly stomped downstairs.
"It looks like my Mecha-Tama has sensed something, hopefully Tama-chan..."Su trailed off, drooling with a vacant look in her eyes. Sara sweat dropped then slapped Su over the head and leading her downstairs, eager to see the carnage that the robot turtle would cause.
Kanako and Shinobu became immediately aware of the imminent danger, being aware of such things.
"Ano, Dan-kun, could you please head outside?" Shinobu asked.
"Why?"
"Because one of Su's inventions is coming down the stairs, and they tend to target males and flying turtles." Kanako explained quickly, eyes darting around.
"Flaying turtles?" Dan asked incredulously, sweat dropping. However something about the actions of the two girls made him believe them and he headed outside. Just in time, as a giant mechanical turtle burst through the wall, and headed after him.
"What the hell?" Dan sweat dropped asking the world in general.
The giant mechanical turtle launched a swarm of missiles at Dan, and he was momentarily shrouded in a cloud of dust. Sara and Su yelled in triumph, while Shinobu and Kanako sweat dropped before yelling, "That's the new..."
They were cut short by a loud explosion as the Mecha-Tama exploded by a well-placed knife thrown from within the dust cloud. Motoko and Arissa had just arrived, witnessing the Mecha-Tama's attack and subsequent rapid defeat.
"Draw your sword, Arissa-san! I'll launch a Ki-attack and you attack him directly!" Motoko swiftly ordered drawing Hina, the magic Katana and launching a Ki-wave at the male who had emerged from the dust cloud whilst Arissa quickly closed the distance. The male drew two large knives and blocked the Ki-wave; much to Motoko's surprise. Arissa launched a rapid series of attacks with her Katana; the twin daggers of the male blocked all the attacks. Motoko launched herself into the fray and together with Arissa, they launched a series of co-ordinated attacks, each attack dodged or blocked by the male's daggers.
'Why doesn't he counter-attack?' Motoko thought to herself, before being kicked in the chest and being pushed out of the fight. The male advanced on Arissa, blocked her desperate attack and swiftly struck Arissa's neck gently with an open hand; knocking her unconscious, he quickly caught the falling girl and gently lowered her to the floor, before turning to Motoko.
He was about to say something, but was cut off as Su and Sara yelled encouragement.
"Get him, Motoko!" Sara yelled, whilst Su launched multitude of missiles towards the male, all of which exploded in mid-air by skilfully thrown knives of the male. Motoko used this chance to attack the now unarmed male. He saw her coming and raised a hand to defend himself. Motoko's sword bounced of his glove with a dull clang.
"Metal gauntlets?" Motoko gasped as the male launched a punch with his other hand, halting millimetres from Motoko's throat.
"Why?" Motoko asked.
The male's answer was cut off as Wu and Meia ran up the stairs, having heard the commotion.
"Dan?" both girls chorused.
"Huh, you know him?" asked Kanako.
"Okay, what is going on here?" Motoko demanded sharply.
"Hi, I'm Dan Delethy, I'm the applicant for the landlord position!" Dan said brightly, acting as if nothing had happened. The girls all face planted.
"Don't let us all down like that! BAKA!" Wu yelled, launching her paper fan.
KA-THWACK!
Dan got up, rubbing his head, "That hurt!"
"I'm all for letting him stay!" Wu said enthusiastically. The tenets of Hinata were in the living room discussing Dan. The battle lines had been drawn. Wu and Kanako wanted him to stay, but for entirely different reasons. Su and Sara didn't care either way and had already escaped through a secret tunnel and were currently playing video games. Arissa was adamant about the subject and was completely against Dan being landlord. Shinobu and Motoko were undecided about the subject. Shinobu couldn't shake the nagging notion that there was something that Dan wasn't telling them, and was slightly scared after he had managed to beat Motoko in a fight. Motoko was torn between her desire for a sparring partner and the fear that Dan might replace her position as protector of Hinata and it's residents. Meia was too shy to say something. The argument went back and forth until Wu had an idea.
"How about we interview him, like they do for a job?"
"Hey, that's not a bad idea," Shinobu said.
Motoko considered the idea, before giving her consent, "I agree, the idea is acceptable," she said calmly.
"Okay, we'll draw names out of the hat!" Wu said, whipping out a hat full of paper. She rummaged around and drew out the first one. "Arissa! You get to go first."
"We'll use the kitchen," Shinobu suggested.
So it was that Dan was led into the kitchen and the process explained to him. Arissa came in, and sat down opposite Dan and was suddenly rendered speechless. She had no idea how job interviews went; her parents were rich and had always supplied everything she needed.
"Do you want to ask me anything?" Dan asked politely, breaking her trail of thoughts.
"Know this, I hate yo! And I will never, never accept you as landlord!" she screamed and left, slamming the door.
"I wonder if she hates me?" Dan thought out loud.
Motoko came in after Arissa had left, and Dan noted that she always carried her Katana around with her. Motoko studied him carefully before realising who he was.
"I bumped into you a couple of days ago!" she exclaimed.
"Oh yeah, that's right, outside of Toudai"
"Where did you learn to fight like that?" She asked briskly.
Dan was caught off guard by the question, and answered before thinking about it, "Uhm, okay. I've studied Boxing, kick boxing, karate, judo, Taekwondo, jujitsu, ninjitsu, kendo..."
"Kendo," asked Motoko immediately, "Where did you learn and who was your sensei?"
"I learnt in Berlin, about 7 years ago under Aoki-sensei"
"Why did you learn so many martial arts?" Motoko asked, intrigued
"Well if you want to beat a style, inside information always helps!"
"What do you consider your main style then?"
"Kung-fu" he said simply.
Motoko's eyes narrowed dangerously, "That's very general. Wu-san told me a little about Chinese martial arts, and there are many forms of kung-fu. Care to be a little more specific?"
"Do you lightly tell strangers your style of kendo?" Dan replied lightly, however steel underlay his tone.
"No. No I don't" Motoko said, before leaving the room.
"Didn't even leave her name..."
Next came one of the girls that he had met earlier, her glasses and pigtails hid a very beautiful face. She was very shy, and kept on stammering and blushing.
"I met you earlier in the alley right?" Dan offered, she nodded gratefully, "What's your name?"
"Meia Chisori."
"Hai, Chisori-san."
"So, Delethy-kun"
"Dan is fine"
"Hai, so Dan," she said blushing slightly, "Where do you come from?"
"Me? I was born and raised in Dublin, Ireland"
"Wow, so that explains the funny accent" Meia said, starting to feel a little less shy, he seemed nice enough.
"So why do you live here Chisori-san?"
"Meia-san will be okay. I'm studying to get into Toudai" she said proudly.
"Toudai, isn't that really good?"
"It's the best university in Japan."
"Mind if I ask you what your chances are?"
"Pretty good," Meia answered. "I'm straight A's at the moment, and I help the others with their homework and study with Kanako-senpai and Shinobu-senpai, they're both first-year ronins."
"Ronin?"
"Uhm, its people who fail the entrance test for university."
"Is this a study dorm or something?" Dan asked incredulously.
"Well, most of the people here want to go to Toudai. Motoko..."
"Who's Motoko?"
"The tall black-haired girl with the sword. She's in her second year now"
"Aha," Dan said, remembering.
"Arissa, the smaller girl who follows Motoko around wants to go to Toudai too."
"What about the Chinese girl, the one you were with?"
"Oh you mean Wu-chan? She's got problems studying. She's a year older than me, but we're in the same class, cause she failed last year."
"Hmm, sounds familiar..." Dan muttered softly, so that Meia didn't hear.
"And then there's Kanako-senpai. She's the Goth; she wants to go to Toudai cause her brother goes there. She's kind of scary, and she keeps trying to break up her brother's wedding, so that she can have him. But lately she's lost some of her drive."
"What about Maehara-san?"
"Oh you mean, Shinobu-senpai, she wants to go to Toudai...cause well, Kanako-senpai's brother goes there too."
"That would be the famous Keitaro, right?"
"Yes. Who did you know that?"
"Oh, don't worry about it. Arigato Meia-san!"
Meia was about to get up, before she thought of something. "What school did you go to?"
"Uhm, sorry?"
"What school or university did you go to?"
"Uhm, none really," Dan said sheepishly.
Meia sweat dropped, "You mean you don't have any education?"
"Well, I did do two years of military school in the Philippines, but that was because I was an illegal immigrant..."
Meia promptly stood up and left the room.
"Nanu? Was it something I said?"
"Meia doesn't like people who are stupid!" a voice echoed through the kitchen
"Who the hell is that?" Dan demanded.
Two girls emerged from under the sink. Both were obviously not Japanese. One had platin-blonde hair, a dark complexion and a permanent blush of excitement on her cheeks. The other wore a cap backwards over her long red hair and she had a fair complexion. Dan immediately recognised them from the incident with the giant robot turtle.
"I'm Sara!" the one with the cap said.
"And I'm Su!" the other said.
"And I'm Dan. Mind if I ask you just one question?"
"Sure" the two chorused together.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT GIANT FUCKING ROBOT TURTLE???" Dan yelled.
"Oh, that." Sara said calmly.
"YES THAT!!!"
"That was my Mecha-Tama Mk 17!" Su said brightly, ignoring Dan's glare.
Dan face planted. "You build those things?"
"Yeah, and lot's of other stuff too, but you'll find out latter," the two disappeared as quickly as they had arrived, and left a very puzzled Dan. At that moment, Shinobu entered the kitchen and stared at Dan, who was crouched in front of the sink.
"What are you doing Dan-kun?" she asked.
"Ah hi Maehara-san!" Dan said getting up and turning towards her.
"Ano, who were you talking with just then?"
"Su and Sara, and then they disappeared under the sink," Dan said, pointing towards the offending sink. Shinobu stalked over towards the cupboard and yanked it open and saw the backs of Sara and Su as the vanished down the secret passage. Shaking her head, she turned towards Dan.
"Those two know every single secret passage in the area, so always watch out, they have at least two ways into every room."
Dan sweat dropped slightly at this information, "Ah, yeah, I'll be sure to remember that. Arigato, Maehara-san"
"Shinobu-san will do, Dan-kun. Can I ask you about something?"
"Shoot" he said sitting back down.
"Why didn't you fight earlier today when I hit you with the saucepan, but then you beat up Su's Mecha-Tama as well a Arissa-san, and Motoko-san."
"Well, I didn't want to hit you, cause you were obviously alarmed at having a male on the premises, and I was trying to calm you down, when Kanako kicked me in the groin."
Shinobu smiled sweetly before leaving the room.
Kanako immediately came in afterwards. "Hi, I'm Kanako the interim manager of Hinata," she said with a bright smile. Dan was caught more than little unawares; he had been expecting something completely different from Meia's explanation.
"Yeah, I'm Dan Delethy." He said numbly.
"I know that, I was the one who tied you up earlier today," she said without a trace of an apology in her voice. Dan sweat dropped 'Does she think it's normal to tie up complete strangers in bondage knots?' "I'd just like to tell you that as manager of Hinata dorms, it would be up to you to take care of everything." Her face turned dark, "I won't help one bit" 'Figures, she wants me to stay so that she doesn't have to do anything' Dan thought. Kanako had already left.
Wu came in after Kanako, and greeted him with a big smile. She was short, much shorter than Dan, and she barely came up to chest.
"Hi Dan-kun!" she said brightly.
"Hi Wu-san" Dan answered, 'Finally, this one seems normal enough'
"You already know my name?" she asked, blushing slightly.
"Meia-san told me."
"Yeah, me and Meia-chan are really good friends. Which brings to an important problem," she said, thoughtfully tapping her chin.
"Quick question; you don't have your paper fan here do you?" Dan asked, sweating slightly.
"I can't answer that," she said mischievously, "At the moment the voting is undecided about whether we want you to stay here as landlord."
"Aha..."
"Kanako-san, Su and Sara want you to stay, whilst Arissa-san, Motoko-senpai and Meia-chan don't want you."
"What about Shinobu-san?"
"She decided not to partake, so that we could reach a decision. And that means, that my vote will decide whether or not you stay here." She said, eyes glinting, as she slowly advancing towards Dan until she was barely centimetres away. 'I can smell her perfume' Dan thought, slightly uncomfortable with the distance but deciding to stay silent.
"My vote will not come cheap, I don't like to annoy my friends, and so there are a few things you are going to have to do to secure my vote."
"Like what?" Dan said warily.
"Firstly, you're going to be my taxi." She said excitedly.
"Huh?" more than a little surprised, 'Whoa there, I wasn't thinking anything perverted there. Was I?'
"Well, you've got that really cool motorbike, so you could drive to school and stuff like that." Wu said, taking another step towards Dan.
"That doesn't sound to bad, I guess," he said getting really uncomfortable with the distance 'I can hear her heart beat' he suddenly though, 'It's racing?'
"Secondly, you've got to come shopping with me, whenever I ask," she said, advancing even closer.
"That's getting steep, but okay," Dan said, wanting to run from the room.
"Thirdly," Wu whispered, grabbing Dan's hand with surprising speed and strength, "You've got to kiss me"
"What, now?" Dan asked, sweat pouring from his face, and with the look of a cornered animal in his eyes.
"Whenever I want," she said sweetly. 'Oh, god, she's so cute!' Dan thought.
"Why?" Dan asked desperately.
"Cause I think I've fallen for you," Wu whispered, blushing furiously.
"You can't be serious, we only just met. Isn't this a little fast?"
"Not for me," she said, pulling him towards her and falling backwards at the same time. They landed with a thump on the floor, Wu under Dan, and their lips pressed together. The entire Hinata gang opened the door at the sound of the loud crash, and immediately the reactions were visible. Shinobu and Meia quickly turned, blushing furiously, whilst Su and Sara giggled. Motoko, Arissa and Kanako immediately were surrounded by an angry aura.
"PERVERT" they screamed together, blasting Dan through the wall and into low orbit.
"Men," Motoko said, shaking her head. Wu giggled.
Well they you go. Another chapter done! Woo yay! I might just keep up with it. Strap yourselves in ladies and germs this fanfic just got started! Screeches off on motorbike, still with a cigarette