Fresh Out Da Kitchen
Mr. Jupiter
- - - Where the Quest Takes Us - - -
Chapter 10 - Dude, Where's My Hair?
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Two hours later, everyone was caught up on everyone else's stories, so they decided to head into town to look for a place to stay the night. They arrived in Tolbi's center square just as the sun set behind the horizon.
"Well, where do you think we should try?" Sheba asked.
"I think there's another Inn over by the colosseum entrance." Mia said. "Maybe we should try there?"
"Sounds like a plan." Ivan said. Before they could take even one step, a loud voice screamed at them from behind.
"THERE YOU ARE!!! YOU STUPID INGRATES BURNED DOWN MY INN!!! NOW I'M GONNA BURN YOU!!!" the Innkeeper stood behind them, a sword in his hand.
"Aww, crap!" Ivan said, rolling his eyes.
"I'll handle this." Issac said, stepping forward.
"Oh, you wanna go?" the Innkeeper taunted. "Bring it on, pansy boy!" Issac's eyebrow twitched.
"Uh oh..." both Qui and Sheba said.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?" Issac yelled, pulling out his sword and holding it to the Innkeeper's throat in one swift motion.
"I... I..." the Innkeeper choked.
"TALK!" Issac commanded. He pressed the sword harder against the Innkeeper's throat.
"You... You heard... Me..." the Innkeeper managed to say.
"WHAT!?" Issac said. "I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR RUDE MEN LIKE YOU!! DIE!" Issac slit his throat, and quickly jumped up and started to run toward the town gate, as all the yelling had dawned a large crowd, and the large crowd was grabbing various weapons and running after Issac.
"Oh, dear lord..." Qui said, running after the mob of enraged Tolbians that were giving chase to Issac.
"Call me crazy, but maybe we should help Issac out." Ivan suggested.
"How? There must be two hundred people chasing him!" Sheba said, and she wasn't far off on her guess.
"We've got to do SOMEthing!" Mia said.
"I wouldn't worry too much. I think Issac can take all of those people on." Sheba said.
"That's what I'm worried about!" Mia said, putting her hands on her hips. "He's gonna kill half the people in Tolbi!"
"Oh no!" Sheba gasped. "I can't let that happen! I'm supposed to be the ruler of this cow town!"
"Cow town?" Ivan gave Sheba a strange look.
"You heard me." Sheba said.
"WOULD YOU INGRATES HELP ME OUT ALREADY?!?" Issac screamed, running past them, the couple hundred Tolbians giving close chase.
"Oh yeah!" Qui said. "Any ideas, guys?"
"Just one." Ivan said. He grabbed his staff from his back.
"You aren't gonna FIGHT them, you stupid boy!" Qui said.
"No no no! Of course I'M not! But guess who is!" Ivan said, closing his eyes.
"IVAN!" Mia said.
"It's the only way." Ivan said, not opening his eyes. "THOR! HELP US OUT!" he called. On que, dark clouds instantaneously gathered in the sky, and the telltale sign of Thor appeared in the sky. And then, in a flash of lightning, Thor himself was standing before them. The mighty god raised his staff, and powerful bolts of lightning layed waste to the hundreds of people giving chase to Issac. And then, for whatever reason, he threw a couple bolts at Issac too.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Issac screamed as he fell to the ground in a charred heap.
"HEY! YOU STUPID GOD!!" Ivan yelled at Thor. The mighty beast turned to him. "YEAH, YOU!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU DON'T SHOCK MY FRIENDS!!!" and with that, Thor shocked Ivan, Sheba, Mia, and Qui too. He then disappeared.
"Owwww..." Sheba moaned. "What was that about?"
"I unno. Maybe he's got a pinecone up his a-"
"Don't you think we should go help Issac?" Qui cut Ivan off. "He looked pretty hurt.?"
"Yeah I guess so." Ivan said, standing up. He went to flatten his hair out with his hand, but... "WWWHHHHAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" he screamed louder than any man has screamed before.
"What's wrong?" Qui asked.
"CAN'T YOU SEE IT?! THAT EFFING GOD BURNED MY HAIR OFF!! I LOOK LIKE A FRIGGIN' MONK NOW!!!" Ivan screamed, bordering on tears.
"WHOA!" Sheba said, turning and looking at Ivan's smooth bald, slightly burned head. "BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" she immediately began to laugh hysterically.
"Phhhh..." Qui struggled to hold back a laugh as well.
"OH GO AHEAD AND LAUGH!! I'LL JUST HAVE TO KILL YOU AFTER I KILL THAT FRIGGIN' PSYCHOPATH GOD!!!" Ivan yelled.
"You CAN'T kill a god." Mia said. "Gods are immortal."
"Oh ho ho ho! Wait and see!" Ivan brushed the dirt off his robes.
"Wait and see what? You getting impaled with a pine tree?" Qui asked humerously.
"HEY! I CAN BEAT SOME PANSY ASS GOD!!" Ivan wailed dramatically, causing the three girls to fall to the ground with wild laughter.
"Sure ya can." Qui said, after recovering from her laughing fit. "Now, shouldn't we help Issac?"
"Nah, I'd say he's fine." Sheba said, pointing at Issac, who was laying waste to a nearby building.
"Aww, he's venting his anger again!" Qui said cutely. "We've gotta stop him!"
"Why? Would you like to stand between a crazy idiot and his target?" Sheba said.
"Qui's right, Sheba." Mia said. "And why on EARTH would you stand and idly watch a crazy man destroy your city?"
"Because! Being a lord is HARD!" Sheba said.
"Uh, I don't mean to disrespect, but aren't you a 'lady'?" Qui said.
"What?" Sheba asked.
"If you were a man, you'd be a lord. But since you're a girl, aren't you a lady?" Qui asked.
"What?!" Sheba exclaimed. "You mean I've been looking like a total idiot all this time!?"
"Yup, fraid so." Qui said.
"That would explain people laughing when I gave my speeches." Sheba said thoughtfully.
"Anyway, we have many issues to tackle here. The first is to stop Issac from lighting that large pile of liquor-soaked furniture he's piled up in front of that house." Mia said, gesturing toward Issac, who was about to light his teeming pile of chairs and tables and even a bed or two on fire.
"HEY! ISSAC!" Ivan called.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONK BOY?!" Issac called back.
"YOU WANT ME TO SEND THE GODS ON YOU AGAIN?!"
"SURE! BRING 'EM ON, CUE BALL!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE GODS HAVE CRAP AIM!"
"C'MON ALREADY!! SMITE ME!! BRING IT!!"
"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!" Ivan gave a loud yell, and right on cue, Thor appeared once more and gave Issac a few powerful shots.
"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!" Issac screamed as he ran around in circles, his shirt blazing an orange blaze.
"HA!" Ivan laughed victoriously. But he laughed a tad too soon. Thor turned around and unleashed a few bolts on Ivan too. "WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU BEARDED SHEEP!!"
"Oh dear..." Qui moaned from the sidelines. Thor, in a rare show of emotions on his immortal face, looked quite irked indeed at Ivan's rather hurtful words.
"WHHAAAAAAAA!!!" Ivan screamed as the mighty god shocked him once more, then disappeared into the air.
"Man, Thor must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed THIS morning, huh?" Sheba joked.
"This is not a time to be funny, Sheba." Mia said. "Issac is lying on the ground on fire, and he's not moving anymore. And Ivan... Seems to be at the bottom of that smoking crater. Ouch..."
"Let's go and help them." said Qui, running over to Ivan's smoldering death hole.
¥¥¥ ¥¥¥ ¥¥¥ ¥¥¥
Mr. Jupiter: BWA HA HA HA!!! This gets crazier and crazier, huh? Trust me. Whatever doesn't make sense now will make sense next chapter, WHEN EVIL SHALL REAR IT'S MIGHTY HEAD, IN AN ULTIMATE BATTLE FOR WORLD DOMINATION!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!
(That is called a teaser)
Mr. Jupiter
- - - Where the Quest Takes Us - - -
Chapter 10 - Dude, Where's My Hair?
¥¥¥ ¥¥¥ ¥¥¥ ¥¥¥
Two hours later, everyone was caught up on everyone else's stories, so they decided to head into town to look for a place to stay the night. They arrived in Tolbi's center square just as the sun set behind the horizon.
"Well, where do you think we should try?" Sheba asked.
"I think there's another Inn over by the colosseum entrance." Mia said. "Maybe we should try there?"
"Sounds like a plan." Ivan said. Before they could take even one step, a loud voice screamed at them from behind.
"THERE YOU ARE!!! YOU STUPID INGRATES BURNED DOWN MY INN!!! NOW I'M GONNA BURN YOU!!!" the Innkeeper stood behind them, a sword in his hand.
"Aww, crap!" Ivan said, rolling his eyes.
"I'll handle this." Issac said, stepping forward.
"Oh, you wanna go?" the Innkeeper taunted. "Bring it on, pansy boy!" Issac's eyebrow twitched.
"Uh oh..." both Qui and Sheba said.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?" Issac yelled, pulling out his sword and holding it to the Innkeeper's throat in one swift motion.
"I... I..." the Innkeeper choked.
"TALK!" Issac commanded. He pressed the sword harder against the Innkeeper's throat.
"You... You heard... Me..." the Innkeeper managed to say.
"WHAT!?" Issac said. "I HAVE NO PATIENCE FOR RUDE MEN LIKE YOU!! DIE!" Issac slit his throat, and quickly jumped up and started to run toward the town gate, as all the yelling had dawned a large crowd, and the large crowd was grabbing various weapons and running after Issac.
"Oh, dear lord..." Qui said, running after the mob of enraged Tolbians that were giving chase to Issac.
"Call me crazy, but maybe we should help Issac out." Ivan suggested.
"How? There must be two hundred people chasing him!" Sheba said, and she wasn't far off on her guess.
"We've got to do SOMEthing!" Mia said.
"I wouldn't worry too much. I think Issac can take all of those people on." Sheba said.
"That's what I'm worried about!" Mia said, putting her hands on her hips. "He's gonna kill half the people in Tolbi!"
"Oh no!" Sheba gasped. "I can't let that happen! I'm supposed to be the ruler of this cow town!"
"Cow town?" Ivan gave Sheba a strange look.
"You heard me." Sheba said.
"WOULD YOU INGRATES HELP ME OUT ALREADY?!?" Issac screamed, running past them, the couple hundred Tolbians giving close chase.
"Oh yeah!" Qui said. "Any ideas, guys?"
"Just one." Ivan said. He grabbed his staff from his back.
"You aren't gonna FIGHT them, you stupid boy!" Qui said.
"No no no! Of course I'M not! But guess who is!" Ivan said, closing his eyes.
"IVAN!" Mia said.
"It's the only way." Ivan said, not opening his eyes. "THOR! HELP US OUT!" he called. On que, dark clouds instantaneously gathered in the sky, and the telltale sign of Thor appeared in the sky. And then, in a flash of lightning, Thor himself was standing before them. The mighty god raised his staff, and powerful bolts of lightning layed waste to the hundreds of people giving chase to Issac. And then, for whatever reason, he threw a couple bolts at Issac too.
"WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Issac screamed as he fell to the ground in a charred heap.
"HEY! YOU STUPID GOD!!" Ivan yelled at Thor. The mighty beast turned to him. "YEAH, YOU!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU DON'T SHOCK MY FRIENDS!!!" and with that, Thor shocked Ivan, Sheba, Mia, and Qui too. He then disappeared.
"Owwww..." Sheba moaned. "What was that about?"
"I unno. Maybe he's got a pinecone up his a-"
"Don't you think we should go help Issac?" Qui cut Ivan off. "He looked pretty hurt.?"
"Yeah I guess so." Ivan said, standing up. He went to flatten his hair out with his hand, but... "WWWHHHHAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" he screamed louder than any man has screamed before.
"What's wrong?" Qui asked.
"CAN'T YOU SEE IT?! THAT EFFING GOD BURNED MY HAIR OFF!! I LOOK LIKE A FRIGGIN' MONK NOW!!!" Ivan screamed, bordering on tears.
"WHOA!" Sheba said, turning and looking at Ivan's smooth bald, slightly burned head. "BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!" she immediately began to laugh hysterically.
"Phhhh..." Qui struggled to hold back a laugh as well.
"OH GO AHEAD AND LAUGH!! I'LL JUST HAVE TO KILL YOU AFTER I KILL THAT FRIGGIN' PSYCHOPATH GOD!!!" Ivan yelled.
"You CAN'T kill a god." Mia said. "Gods are immortal."
"Oh ho ho ho! Wait and see!" Ivan brushed the dirt off his robes.
"Wait and see what? You getting impaled with a pine tree?" Qui asked humerously.
"HEY! I CAN BEAT SOME PANSY ASS GOD!!" Ivan wailed dramatically, causing the three girls to fall to the ground with wild laughter.
"Sure ya can." Qui said, after recovering from her laughing fit. "Now, shouldn't we help Issac?"
"Nah, I'd say he's fine." Sheba said, pointing at Issac, who was laying waste to a nearby building.
"Aww, he's venting his anger again!" Qui said cutely. "We've gotta stop him!"
"Why? Would you like to stand between a crazy idiot and his target?" Sheba said.
"Qui's right, Sheba." Mia said. "And why on EARTH would you stand and idly watch a crazy man destroy your city?"
"Because! Being a lord is HARD!" Sheba said.
"Uh, I don't mean to disrespect, but aren't you a 'lady'?" Qui said.
"What?" Sheba asked.
"If you were a man, you'd be a lord. But since you're a girl, aren't you a lady?" Qui asked.
"What?!" Sheba exclaimed. "You mean I've been looking like a total idiot all this time!?"
"Yup, fraid so." Qui said.
"That would explain people laughing when I gave my speeches." Sheba said thoughtfully.
"Anyway, we have many issues to tackle here. The first is to stop Issac from lighting that large pile of liquor-soaked furniture he's piled up in front of that house." Mia said, gesturing toward Issac, who was about to light his teeming pile of chairs and tables and even a bed or two on fire.
"HEY! ISSAC!" Ivan called.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONK BOY?!" Issac called back.
"YOU WANT ME TO SEND THE GODS ON YOU AGAIN?!"
"SURE! BRING 'EM ON, CUE BALL!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THE GODS HAVE CRAP AIM!"
"C'MON ALREADY!! SMITE ME!! BRING IT!!"
"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!" Ivan gave a loud yell, and right on cue, Thor appeared once more and gave Issac a few powerful shots.
"OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW!!!" Issac screamed as he ran around in circles, his shirt blazing an orange blaze.
"HA!" Ivan laughed victoriously. But he laughed a tad too soon. Thor turned around and unleashed a few bolts on Ivan too. "WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU BEARDED SHEEP!!"
"Oh dear..." Qui moaned from the sidelines. Thor, in a rare show of emotions on his immortal face, looked quite irked indeed at Ivan's rather hurtful words.
"WHHAAAAAAAA!!!" Ivan screamed as the mighty god shocked him once more, then disappeared into the air.
"Man, Thor must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed THIS morning, huh?" Sheba joked.
"This is not a time to be funny, Sheba." Mia said. "Issac is lying on the ground on fire, and he's not moving anymore. And Ivan... Seems to be at the bottom of that smoking crater. Ouch..."
"Let's go and help them." said Qui, running over to Ivan's smoldering death hole.
¥¥¥ ¥¥¥ ¥¥¥ ¥¥¥
Mr. Jupiter: BWA HA HA HA!!! This gets crazier and crazier, huh? Trust me. Whatever doesn't make sense now will make sense next chapter, WHEN EVIL SHALL REAR IT'S MIGHTY HEAD, IN AN ULTIMATE BATTLE FOR WORLD DOMINATION!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!!
(That is called a teaser)