The Right Truck
Mr. Jupiter
Where the Quest Takes Us
Chapter 12: Resident Feeble
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"Do you actually think you can best me? Surely you jest!" Xavior scoffed. Issac stopped dead in his tracks.
"Uh, actually, I'm not jesting. I don't even know what that means. But I DO know that I'm charging at you with my trusty sword held high above my head!" Issac spoke heroically.
"And I'm avenging the loss of my precious golden waves of hair!" Ivan said, his scalp still slightly smoking.
"I don't care what you think you're doing. You aren't going to do it!" Xavior said. "But I will gladly permit you to try."
"Let's do this thing!" Issac said. "ISSAC... AWAYYYY!!!" he charged at Xavior. The dark robed sorcerer merely flicked his wrist and laughed as Issac flew several feet backwards, landing in a rather painful position.
"WHOA HO HO HO!!" Issac wailed, as he had landed doing the splits. "NOW THAT BURNS!!"
"Are you all right?" Qui asked.
"NONONONONONO!!!" Issac screamed, as he rolled around on the ground holding his groin.
"I'm having second thoughts about the whole 'Let's do this thing!' thing." Ivan said, backing away slowly.
"No Ivan! Do it for Issac!" Qui said.
"Why in the hell would I want to do it for Issac?" Ivan raised his eyebrow.
"Uh, then do it for the piles of money Lancet Mage is going to award you when you win!" Qui tried again.
"I'm not gonna win. I've known that all along." Ivan said. "I just wanted to look cool..."
"Men. I will never understand them." Sheba commented.
"You're meaningless conversation bores me. "Xavior yawned, pulling out a rather menacing sword, that glowed a deep purple glow. "I'm ready to finish this!" he raised the sinister looking sword, and moved toward Issac, who was still rolling around clasping his crotch and screaming.
"No! Issac!" Mia called.
"Silence, girl!" the sorcerer demanded.
"Yessir."
"Now, to end this once and for all!" Xavior laughed evily as he raised his sword and prepared to slice Issac in two.
"Not so fast, fool!"
"Huh?" everyone began looking around for the source of the comment.
"It is I! Piers the mighty! I have come to stop this madness!" said a now visible figure who stood behind Xavior.
"It's Piers!" Sheba cried out.
"Yes! Indeed it is I! Piers the mighty has come to your aid!" Piers spoke loudly.
"Uh, can I ask why you're talking like an ass?" Issac asked.
"Hey, I was trying to be heroic!" Piers argued.
"JUST SAVE MY ASS, YOU FOOL!!!" Issac wailed.
"Oh, right." Piers mumbled, holding the tip of his sword to Xavior's neck.
"It's you..." Xavior said.
"Yeah. You wanna make something of it?" Piers smiled menacingly. "Ready to die?"
"I'm immortal. I can't die." Xavior pointed out.
"Huh? DAMNIT!!" Piers cursed.
"Yeah, not so heroic now are you? HA HA HA HA HA!! I AM EVILNESS!! WHOO!!"
"Oh-kay, this is gettin' annoying." Qui said. "I'm gonna try something."
"And what's that?" Mia asked.
"You'll see."
"I AM SO E-VIL! I AM SO E-VIL!" Xavior sung as he danced in circles around Issac, who still lay on the ground.
"Hey, big evil sorcerer man!" Qui called.
"Oh look. A thingy! HEE HEE HEE!!" Xavior giggled childishly.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!!" Qui raged.
"What ARE you, anyway? You're so... Tiny..."
"I AM A HUMAN!! I'M JUST SMALL!! DOES THAT MAKE ME SOME KIND OF FREAK!?" Qui screamed.
"Uh, kind of..." Issac mumbled from his resting place in the dirt.
"YOU SHUT UP!!" Qui yelled at him. She turned to McGanges. "YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!"
"Uh huh. And what, pray tell, are you going to do? Crawl into my ear and feast on my brain?" Xavior spoke sarcastically.
"Why? Will that kill you?" Qui asked.
"Well, as immortal as I am, I still need a brain to live, so..."
"WHOO HOO! CONVENIENT WEAKNESS!!!" Qui yelled as she jumped at Xavior's head.
"What the- HEY! YOU PUNKASS BITCH!! GET OFF MY HEAD!!" Xavior yelled as he spun in circles, trying to shake Qui off.
"As much as I hate to do this..." Qui said, as she closed her eyes. She began to glow pink, and suddenly began to get even smaller. Once she reached about the size of a piece of rice, she jumped into Xavior's ear.
"Oh god no." Xavior said, standing perfectly still. Everyone stood staring, fixated on his face. He began to moan, and his eyes began to grow dim.
"What's happening! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!! HOW CAN this... be... ha... pen..." he didn't even finish his sentence before he fell to the ground in a heap. In a flash of pink, Qui stood on his now lifeless head.
"Whoo! Now THAT was cool!" she said. Everyone stood and stared, stunned looks on their faces.
"What the hell just happened?" Ivan asked, his eyes wide.
"I just cut his brain out of his head! I killed someone who's immortal!" Qui said proudly.
"YOU GO GIRL!" Issac cheered.
"I must admit, I wasn't expecting THAT when I left this morning." Piers said.
"Why did you come, anyway?" Mia asked. "And how did you know where we were?"
"It's a long story. Let's go find a place to rest, and I'll tell my story." Piers suggested.
"Sounds good!" Sheba said.
When the gang got back to Tolbi Palace, they bandaged up their wounds and then sat down to hear Piers' story.
"It all started this morning when I went to send a letter to Issac." Piers started. "I arrived at the post office only to find that there was no one there to help me. I really wanted to send this letter, because I'd all ready sent several to Issac, and he hadn't sent any back."
"I never got the damn things. That McGanges guy kept them all." Issac explained.
"I learned that this morning. A guy who called himself Lancet Mage was at the post office and told me everything. He told me how this Xavior guy wanted to kill you, and how he was using some kind of mind control to slowly make you homicidal and dangerous. He held all my letters to you to speed the process up. When you decided to come and 'teach me a lesson', you walked right into his trap."
"You met Lancet Mage? DUDE!" Issac said, hi-5ing Piers.
"Uh... What's wrong with you?" Piers asked.
"I'm a little too happy about not being psychotic anymore." Issac explained.
"Oh. Anyway, I left Lemuria this morning, hoping it wasn't too late to stop you from coming. But... It was." Piers said
"So, when do we get payed for killing that fool, anyway?" Ivan asked.
"You don't." came a familliar voice.
"Hey, it's Lancet Mage! 'Sup, brother!" Issac asked, hi-5ing Lancet too.
"I'll tell you 'sup. I'm not paying you anything, because it was acctually Qui here who killed McGanges." Lancet said bluntly. Both Issac and Ivan stood stunned for a moment before Issac spoke up.
"YOU LIEING, THIEVING PILE OF WORTHLESS TRASH!! YOU KNEW ALL ALONG, DIDN'T YOU!! YOU PUNK!!" Issac grabbed a nearby chair and threw it at Lancet.
"Oh, HELL no!" Lancet cursed, before teleporting away.
"YAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Issac screamed, fliping over a table and setting fire to the drapes with a nearby torch.
"He's gonna start this crap again, is he? Man, this guy gets annoying." Qui said.
"I am very mad at you." Ivan said. "YOU ROBBED ME OF MY FORTUNE!!! YOU SHALL BURN, WENCH!!!" he grabbed a nearby brick and chucked it at Qui.
"I'm gone! It was nice meeting you guys! Bye!" Qui yelled over her shoulder as she ran out the front door. Issac crawled over to Sheba, Mia, and Piers, breathing heavily.
"So, now what?" he asked.
"Uh, you should go live in a hole, because your going to be wanted for, like, 236 counts of murder." Mia said.
"Oh, yeah, that." Issac said. "I guess you're right. Well, I'll be in an undisclosed location for an undisclosed amount of time. See y'all later." Issac said. He hung his head, and trudged out.
"Man, I hope we get to see him again." Ivan said.
"I wouldn't count on it." Sheba said.
"Neither would I." Mia agreed.
"Good luck, Issac. Good luck." Piers said, saluting Issac.
"What's next for us?" Ivan looked at his three friends.
"I guess we'd better head home." Mia said. "What about you Sheba? I guess you've got some explaining to do, huh?"
"Nah, I'm hanging up my mayoral sash. I'm gonna go live up north with you, Mia. I'm sick of politics." Sheba said.
"Sounds good!" Mia smiled. "Well, I'm gonna take off. Nice seeing you all again! Bye!" she turned and headed for the door, Sheba right behind her.
"Well, it looks like it's just you and me, buddy." Piers said to Ivan.
"So true. What will we do with ourselves?" Ivan asked.
"Only time will tell, my friend. Only time will tell."
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