Disclaimer: I dun own anything...... BUT ONE DAY I SHALL!!! ONE DAY, I WILL
RULE THE EARTH!!!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! (Cough) Err... Yeah...
Title: The Elvin Book of Fairy Tales
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Various
Warnings: OOCness, slash, random insane humor, possible incest...... Nothing out of the ordinary. Except maybe the incest thing..... o.O
Fairy Tale for Chapter: The Frog Prince
Ethnic Origin of Fairy Tale: German
Author's Notes: THANK YOU ALL WHO REVIEWED!!!! Oh, I should mention.... Any and all flames will be thrown right back in the person's face with ten times the nastiness. Constructive criticism, however, will be met kindly and is always welcome. So remember, flames are bad, constructive criticism is good. Arigatou (Bows).
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Long ago there lived a king named Elrond who had a beautiful daughter named Arwen. But this story doesn't focus on her. So forget about Arwen, and let's go to the star of the story..... ELLADAN!!!
So, near Elrond's castle there was a forest and in the forest was a well. Although why there was a well in the middle of the forest is beyond anyone. But anyway, that was were Elladan liked to play with his golden stink bomb.
One day- splash!- the stink bomb fell into the well. Elladan didn't really mind until he realized –gasp!- that was his last golden stink bomb!!!! First Elladan ran around screaming and cursing and acting like the teenager he was. Then he began to cry, because the authoress decided he strayed to far from the plot line and threatened to take away all of his pranking stuff if he didn't get back on track.
"What's wrong, Elladan?" croaked a voice. But there wasn't anybody there, just a frog.
"Is that you, old puddle-squelcher?" Elladan sniffled, but only because his pranking stuff was at risk. "My golden stink bomb had fallen into the well."
"Why did Elrond put a well here anyway?" asked the frog.
Elladan shrugged. "I dunno... I think he was drunk at the time. He was hitting on Celeborn in front of Galadriel. Was out of action with injures for a year. But my golden stink bomb is in the bloody well!"
"What will you give me if I fetch it?"
"Whatever you want, dear frog," said Elladan. "My clothes, my jewels – even my crown!"
The frog raised an eyebrow. "You're that desperate to have your stink bomb back?" he asked.
"YES!!! That and I don't like my crown. It makes me look like a girl!" Elladan whined.
"I don't want your clothes, your jewels, or your crown (Elladan swore). But if you will love me and be my friend, if I can eat off your plate and sleep in your bed, then I will get your golden stink bomb," said the frog.
"I promise," said Elladan. "Anything you like." The frog dived into the well.
'Gah, I hate frogs.....' Elladan thought. Elladan was extremely loathing towards frogs ever since that incident involving sheep, cows, turkeys, cheese and a drunk Elrond. But we're not going to tell you that story. You'll just have to figure it out for yourself.
Soon the frog returned and in his mouth was the golden stink bomb. Delighted, Elladan snatched it up and ran home. "Wait! I can't run as fast as you!" croaked the frog.
The next day, when Elladan was dining with Elrond (Arwen was stealing Glorfindel's horse), there came a knock at the door. When Elladan saw who it was, he slammed the door.
"Who was that, Elladan?" Elrond asked.
"A slimy frog," shuddered Elladan.
"And what did the frog want?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"BECAUSE I'M YOUR FATHER, DAMNIT!!!!"
"Fine, fine. Yesterday my golden stink- err, ball fell down a well and this frog fetched it. In return I promised he could be my friend. I never thought he would follow me home."
"You must keep your promise," said Elrond. Elladan's mouth fell open.
"WHAT?! But father, I HATE frogs!" he cried.
"And whose fault is that?" Elrond asked with a smirk
"Yours."
"What?"
"Never mind.... Stupid sheep... Stupid cows... Stupid turkeys... Stupid cheese... Stupid drunken dad..." Elladan grumbled as he opened the door and the frog hopped in. The frog said, "Lift me up." Elrond told Elladan to lift the frog onto the table.
"Push your plate nearer so I can share your food," said the frog. He slurped up his share; Elladan barely touched his.
Afterwards the frog said, "I'm tired. Let's go to sleep in your bed." Elladan looked like he was about to pop a vein, but Elrond told him, "You accepted hi help. You cannot turn him away."
"Says the bastard that NEVER keeps ANY of his promises..." Elladan mumbled under his breath.
He picked up the frog in two fingers, carried him to his room, and dropped him in a corner. But when he got into bed, the frog jumped onto his pillow and said, "I'll sleep here!"
"Let me be!" cried Elladan and he threw him against the wall. To his amazement, the frog turned into a handsome prince!
"I was turned into a frog by a wizard," the prince exclaimed. "But you promise of love has broken the spell! Now let us sleep, and in the morning we will go to my kingdom."
Elladan blinked once. Twice. Then he sighed and said, "What did you do to Gandalf, Elrohir?"
"Hey, it's not MY fault the old fart can't take a joke!"
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Pyro: (Grins) I was deabating forever on the pairing for this. And then I thought about incest, but then I though "What if at the end Elrohir was a frog because he did something to Gandalf?" And thus the ending was born.... That's like an oxymoron....
Elladan: What did you do to Gandalf, anyway?
Elrohir: Tell me about the incident with the sheep, cows, turkeys, cheese and a drunk Elrond and then I'll tell you
Elladan: Well, it was a dark and stormy night...
Title: The Elvin Book of Fairy Tales
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Various
Warnings: OOCness, slash, random insane humor, possible incest...... Nothing out of the ordinary. Except maybe the incest thing..... o.O
Fairy Tale for Chapter: The Frog Prince
Ethnic Origin of Fairy Tale: German
Author's Notes: THANK YOU ALL WHO REVIEWED!!!! Oh, I should mention.... Any and all flames will be thrown right back in the person's face with ten times the nastiness. Constructive criticism, however, will be met kindly and is always welcome. So remember, flames are bad, constructive criticism is good. Arigatou (Bows).
----------
Long ago there lived a king named Elrond who had a beautiful daughter named Arwen. But this story doesn't focus on her. So forget about Arwen, and let's go to the star of the story..... ELLADAN!!!
So, near Elrond's castle there was a forest and in the forest was a well. Although why there was a well in the middle of the forest is beyond anyone. But anyway, that was were Elladan liked to play with his golden stink bomb.
One day- splash!- the stink bomb fell into the well. Elladan didn't really mind until he realized –gasp!- that was his last golden stink bomb!!!! First Elladan ran around screaming and cursing and acting like the teenager he was. Then he began to cry, because the authoress decided he strayed to far from the plot line and threatened to take away all of his pranking stuff if he didn't get back on track.
"What's wrong, Elladan?" croaked a voice. But there wasn't anybody there, just a frog.
"Is that you, old puddle-squelcher?" Elladan sniffled, but only because his pranking stuff was at risk. "My golden stink bomb had fallen into the well."
"Why did Elrond put a well here anyway?" asked the frog.
Elladan shrugged. "I dunno... I think he was drunk at the time. He was hitting on Celeborn in front of Galadriel. Was out of action with injures for a year. But my golden stink bomb is in the bloody well!"
"What will you give me if I fetch it?"
"Whatever you want, dear frog," said Elladan. "My clothes, my jewels – even my crown!"
The frog raised an eyebrow. "You're that desperate to have your stink bomb back?" he asked.
"YES!!! That and I don't like my crown. It makes me look like a girl!" Elladan whined.
"I don't want your clothes, your jewels, or your crown (Elladan swore). But if you will love me and be my friend, if I can eat off your plate and sleep in your bed, then I will get your golden stink bomb," said the frog.
"I promise," said Elladan. "Anything you like." The frog dived into the well.
'Gah, I hate frogs.....' Elladan thought. Elladan was extremely loathing towards frogs ever since that incident involving sheep, cows, turkeys, cheese and a drunk Elrond. But we're not going to tell you that story. You'll just have to figure it out for yourself.
Soon the frog returned and in his mouth was the golden stink bomb. Delighted, Elladan snatched it up and ran home. "Wait! I can't run as fast as you!" croaked the frog.
The next day, when Elladan was dining with Elrond (Arwen was stealing Glorfindel's horse), there came a knock at the door. When Elladan saw who it was, he slammed the door.
"Who was that, Elladan?" Elrond asked.
"A slimy frog," shuddered Elladan.
"And what did the frog want?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"BECAUSE I'M YOUR FATHER, DAMNIT!!!!"
"Fine, fine. Yesterday my golden stink- err, ball fell down a well and this frog fetched it. In return I promised he could be my friend. I never thought he would follow me home."
"You must keep your promise," said Elrond. Elladan's mouth fell open.
"WHAT?! But father, I HATE frogs!" he cried.
"And whose fault is that?" Elrond asked with a smirk
"Yours."
"What?"
"Never mind.... Stupid sheep... Stupid cows... Stupid turkeys... Stupid cheese... Stupid drunken dad..." Elladan grumbled as he opened the door and the frog hopped in. The frog said, "Lift me up." Elrond told Elladan to lift the frog onto the table.
"Push your plate nearer so I can share your food," said the frog. He slurped up his share; Elladan barely touched his.
Afterwards the frog said, "I'm tired. Let's go to sleep in your bed." Elladan looked like he was about to pop a vein, but Elrond told him, "You accepted hi help. You cannot turn him away."
"Says the bastard that NEVER keeps ANY of his promises..." Elladan mumbled under his breath.
He picked up the frog in two fingers, carried him to his room, and dropped him in a corner. But when he got into bed, the frog jumped onto his pillow and said, "I'll sleep here!"
"Let me be!" cried Elladan and he threw him against the wall. To his amazement, the frog turned into a handsome prince!
"I was turned into a frog by a wizard," the prince exclaimed. "But you promise of love has broken the spell! Now let us sleep, and in the morning we will go to my kingdom."
Elladan blinked once. Twice. Then he sighed and said, "What did you do to Gandalf, Elrohir?"
"Hey, it's not MY fault the old fart can't take a joke!"
----------
Pyro: (Grins) I was deabating forever on the pairing for this. And then I thought about incest, but then I though "What if at the end Elrohir was a frog because he did something to Gandalf?" And thus the ending was born.... That's like an oxymoron....
Elladan: What did you do to Gandalf, anyway?
Elrohir: Tell me about the incident with the sheep, cows, turkeys, cheese and a drunk Elrond and then I'll tell you
Elladan: Well, it was a dark and stormy night...