Chapter Three - Helping Hands
"... and that's how I got my crotch plate back from the recycling plant."
Bender finished his tale as Fry and Leela arrived at Planet Express headquarters. He leaned back swinging his feet up onto the table.
"Well this room just got a lot more boring." the robot quipped pulling out a cigar.
"I see someone's recently come into an expensive accessory." Hermes noted.
"We're engaged now!" Fry blurted out thoughtlessly. He caught himself and braced for a glare from Leela. She just smile/frowned at him.
"It's true."
There were congratulations all around.
"I'll schedule in some time to file the requisition for your marriage license, hopefully this week."
"That's good news!" said Farnsworth, "Now before I forget, I needed to see one of you, um... Zoidberg."
"Hurray, I'm needed!" the crustacean exclaimed jubilantly. The Professor shook his head lightly.
"Oh my no. I need to see Fry." Slowly he sat up and began walking towards a room, which may or may not have been his destination. "Come along now." The redhead shrugged and followed.
Bender smirked. "So, you finally caved in." he said contentedly.
"What do you mean 'caved in'?" the cyclops replied indignantly. Before she could continue, Zoidberg interrupted.
"So how did Fry trick you into it? Not that I'd be interesting in doing something like that, it's just I need to know for my um, thesis, on human mating behaviors." he muttered pretending to write on a paper towel.
"For your information, I want to do this. Fry didn't trick me into anything."
"Ahah hah hah hah hah," Bender chortled.
"Oh sure, dat's believable." said Hermes.
"Right, you want to do this so he'll stop bugging you, of course. I knew if the chump kept it up you'd be bound to give in sooner or later. Or kill him, depending on which one of your ridiculously overdone chick moods you were in."
"I don't have to validate myself to you crumb bums." she said storming off. "Yep, just like that." the robot added.
"Ach, always 'bum this', 'bum that'. Zoidberg thinks maybe it's you humans who are the real bums, making food stamps illegal for my people. You overfish a couple hundred species to extinction and what do they do? Send you to scrounge in the garbage, why not?!"
Leela downed a cup of coffee as Amy piped up.
"I believe you Leela."
"Thank you." She waited for the impending catty insult from her younger coworker, but it never came. "What, you're not going to say something like, 'After all, he's the best you could hope for,'?"
"Fneesh Leela, that's horrible! I wouldn't say anything like that. Fry's a great guy."
It was a little surprising, but she realized then just how much Amy had changed since they first met.
Elsewhere, the Professor was making some last minute adjustments to a pair of rather insidious looking devices.
"I started work on these when I heard you were going to be performing an opera."
"But I just did last night," Fry interjected uselessly.
"I knew you'd be needing some help since your hands are barely even suitable for a recorder, let alone a holophoner. So I built these dexterity enhancers for you."
They looked like robotic claws. "You aren't going to replace my real hands with robot ones?" he axed nervously.
"Of course not! That would never work, your human brain wouldn't know how to send orders to them. It'd be about as musically helpful as grafting slabs of metal to your wrists." At this point Fry decided it would be best just to keep his mouth shut. "Unless of course, you were trying to play the bongos."
"Any who, I didn't invent these. I modeled them after a device that was used in the 21st century to help reduce carpal tunnel syndrome. On they go." He clamped on the enhancers, and a bit of hell broke loose. The machines began accelerating Fry's finger movements beyond anything humans were ever meant to achieve. They grabbed at every button, zipper, switch and buckle in the room at break digit speeds.
"Aaagh!! How do I stop them?!" he shrieked in pain.
"Now I remember!" said Farnsworth, indignant at the universe that had cursed him with such senility. "They stopped using the enhancers because they increased capral tunnel syndrome! Not to mention causing other catastrophic hand injuries."
"HOW DO I STOP THEM?!"
"Calm down," the elder intoned, "The batteries should wear out in," he paused glancing at the package they have come from, "Five years."
"WHAT?!?"
"I'll just have to use these left over chronotons the speed up the process."
Fry didn't have time to wonder about that statement. The moment the time particles hit the devices he felt five years worth of pain all at once.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Everyone at Planet Express stopped what they were doing and turned toward the source of the scream.
Disclaimer: This is merely a bit of unauthorized fan work, made without permission from Mr. Groening or the DOOP. Oh and don't worry about Fry, I'm sure everything will um... well it's not like he hasn't been through obscene amounts of pain before. He'll get better!
"... and that's how I got my crotch plate back from the recycling plant."
Bender finished his tale as Fry and Leela arrived at Planet Express headquarters. He leaned back swinging his feet up onto the table.
"Well this room just got a lot more boring." the robot quipped pulling out a cigar.
"I see someone's recently come into an expensive accessory." Hermes noted.
"We're engaged now!" Fry blurted out thoughtlessly. He caught himself and braced for a glare from Leela. She just smile/frowned at him.
"It's true."
There were congratulations all around.
"I'll schedule in some time to file the requisition for your marriage license, hopefully this week."
"That's good news!" said Farnsworth, "Now before I forget, I needed to see one of you, um... Zoidberg."
"Hurray, I'm needed!" the crustacean exclaimed jubilantly. The Professor shook his head lightly.
"Oh my no. I need to see Fry." Slowly he sat up and began walking towards a room, which may or may not have been his destination. "Come along now." The redhead shrugged and followed.
Bender smirked. "So, you finally caved in." he said contentedly.
"What do you mean 'caved in'?" the cyclops replied indignantly. Before she could continue, Zoidberg interrupted.
"So how did Fry trick you into it? Not that I'd be interesting in doing something like that, it's just I need to know for my um, thesis, on human mating behaviors." he muttered pretending to write on a paper towel.
"For your information, I want to do this. Fry didn't trick me into anything."
"Ahah hah hah hah hah," Bender chortled.
"Oh sure, dat's believable." said Hermes.
"Right, you want to do this so he'll stop bugging you, of course. I knew if the chump kept it up you'd be bound to give in sooner or later. Or kill him, depending on which one of your ridiculously overdone chick moods you were in."
"I don't have to validate myself to you crumb bums." she said storming off. "Yep, just like that." the robot added.
"Ach, always 'bum this', 'bum that'. Zoidberg thinks maybe it's you humans who are the real bums, making food stamps illegal for my people. You overfish a couple hundred species to extinction and what do they do? Send you to scrounge in the garbage, why not?!"
Leela downed a cup of coffee as Amy piped up.
"I believe you Leela."
"Thank you." She waited for the impending catty insult from her younger coworker, but it never came. "What, you're not going to say something like, 'After all, he's the best you could hope for,'?"
"Fneesh Leela, that's horrible! I wouldn't say anything like that. Fry's a great guy."
It was a little surprising, but she realized then just how much Amy had changed since they first met.
Elsewhere, the Professor was making some last minute adjustments to a pair of rather insidious looking devices.
"I started work on these when I heard you were going to be performing an opera."
"But I just did last night," Fry interjected uselessly.
"I knew you'd be needing some help since your hands are barely even suitable for a recorder, let alone a holophoner. So I built these dexterity enhancers for you."
They looked like robotic claws. "You aren't going to replace my real hands with robot ones?" he axed nervously.
"Of course not! That would never work, your human brain wouldn't know how to send orders to them. It'd be about as musically helpful as grafting slabs of metal to your wrists." At this point Fry decided it would be best just to keep his mouth shut. "Unless of course, you were trying to play the bongos."
"Any who, I didn't invent these. I modeled them after a device that was used in the 21st century to help reduce carpal tunnel syndrome. On they go." He clamped on the enhancers, and a bit of hell broke loose. The machines began accelerating Fry's finger movements beyond anything humans were ever meant to achieve. They grabbed at every button, zipper, switch and buckle in the room at break digit speeds.
"Aaagh!! How do I stop them?!" he shrieked in pain.
"Now I remember!" said Farnsworth, indignant at the universe that had cursed him with such senility. "They stopped using the enhancers because they increased capral tunnel syndrome! Not to mention causing other catastrophic hand injuries."
"HOW DO I STOP THEM?!"
"Calm down," the elder intoned, "The batteries should wear out in," he paused glancing at the package they have come from, "Five years."
"WHAT?!?"
"I'll just have to use these left over chronotons the speed up the process."
Fry didn't have time to wonder about that statement. The moment the time particles hit the devices he felt five years worth of pain all at once.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Everyone at Planet Express stopped what they were doing and turned toward the source of the scream.
Disclaimer: This is merely a bit of unauthorized fan work, made without permission from Mr. Groening or the DOOP. Oh and don't worry about Fry, I'm sure everything will um... well it's not like he hasn't been through obscene amounts of pain before. He'll get better!