Chapter Three - Tensions Rise
Fry and Leela exited the New Hands in About an Hour Store, relieved that the delivery boy's ordeal hadn't cost Fry the neural synapses in control his hands. Relieved or not though, Leela was still seething mad at the Professor. Not that this was much different from her usual attitude toward him, but at the moment she was closer to her "murderous rage" setting than her normal "general perturbment".
"I'd tell you to sue your nephew for the damages, but it'd be pointless." she said tersely, "Hopefully the fact that I trashed his devices will make him suffer slightly."
Fry flexed his new fingers. They weren't quite broken in, and it seemed to be taking longer than it had when they got bitten off by the T-Rex. Maybe he had gotten so used to robot hands that his normal "stupid fingers" just felt out of place. It was frustrating. He had been quiet after a few fits of screaming earlier, and seemed gloomier than usual. Leela sighed sadly in sympathy for his pain. She pulled him close with an arm around his shoulders, but let go when he winced sharply.
"Agh!"
"Sorry Fry. But I barely touched you!"
"I know but it still hurts!"
Experimentally the mutant lightly flicked his arm. "Oww ow ow!" She tapped his face. "Ouch!" She poked his ribs. "OWW." He curled into a ball on the sidewalk, trying not to whimper. Leela had never really minded inflicting physical violence before, so probably didn't feel as bad as you or I would hurting the love of our life, assuming you aren't a sadistic freak. Resisting the instinct to comfort Fry by holding him she dropped to her knees beside him.
"Does it hurt everywhere?"
"Yes..."
"... everywhere?"
The pain began to let up as he considered the implication. One very, very gay baby was born from that silence, as the superstition goes.
"If you're still in shock then you shouldn't, well, come back to my apartment. At least until you're better."
Awkward.
In a distant corner of the galaxy, on a ship known as the Nimbus, life was also full of a half hearted relief that things hadn't gone even worse. Under the command of Captain Brannigan, they had just narrowly missed being massacred by the Brisznne Department of Homeplanet Security. Zapp had landed without clearance and ordered the ship's refuse to be dumped in a nearby cave. Already two DOOP regulations broken, the Brisznne interpreted the dumping of waste into their mostly subterranean highway as a biological attack and made a declaration of war. They had to rescind it however, once DOOP files showed that the planet was technically classified as uninhabited (due to its lack of civilization on the surface), and legally Earth could dump anything wherever they wanted. The Brisznne, still infuriated, were going to start an embargo on Earth goods, including encouraging their neighbors to do the same. All in all, it was a thoroughly repugnant and humiliating affair, and one that Lt. Kif Kroker was looking forward to forgetting. After all, Amy was on the vid-phone.
"... and guess what? Fry and Leela got engaged! Who would have thought he'd finally get through to her?" she related excitedly.
It was a somewhat surprising. Of course, despite how long they had been together, Kif still found it incredible that Amy loved him. So relatively speaking, it wasn't that hard to believe. As he replied, a man entered the room, looking very proud of his bold, reckless method of trash disposal.
"That's wonderful. Be sure to give Captain Leela my congratulations on her engagement."
Brannigan's pride cringed as the words "Leela" and "engagement" came together in one sentence. He assertively spun around his inferior officer to interrogate him.
"Engagement?! I hope for your sake you're talking about some kind of catfight ridden military engagement Lieutenant!"
The amphibian wasn't sure how to tell him. If Zapp knew the truth, he might try to disrupt the wedding, and Kif owed Leela too much to be responsible for that. On the other hand, the Captain hadn't tried to breakup Fry and Leela on the Titanic. Maybe he would finally leave the woman alone. Besides, Kif was an officer in the military. He couldn't lie anyway.
"She's engaged to be married sir."
The anger in Zapp's face changed to worried confusion. "But, but, I never..." In a half coherent monolog he rambled out his feelings and lusts. It was fairly pathetic. Amy almost felt sorry for him, but mostly disgusted. Men. You sleep with them once and then act like you have some sort of obligation to stay in contact with them. Typical. Kif looked at her apologetically, knowing that the need to console his Captain would cut their conversation short. He turned off the connection, while Amy silently thanked the universe for the interruption. She had been worried that bringing this up with her boyfriend would lead into an uncomfortable discussion about the possibility of them getting married. It wouldn't be as bad as the whole mother thing would have been, but she still wasn't ready for it. She had her reasons, but they were so flimsy one look at Kif's sad face would have destroyed her resolve.
Awkward, awkward.
"Fry, you're just in time!" Bender exclaimed as his human pet entered the apartment. "I got the whole reception menu written out. Now I know we can't afford Europa rock shrimp, but there're these bugs just the same size and color in Old New York!" His stomach's muscle memory of Bender's cooking was the most painful thing Fry had felt all day. He vaguely recalled the robot mentioning catering the wedding, but hadn't thought much about it, what with having his hands removed. He couldn't break his best friend's heart by excluding him from the preparations, but the role of chef was out of the question.
"But Bender, that's so much work. You're already the Best Man-bot, I can't ask you to cook too."
The silver machine looked almost moved to tears. "Really? I was worried you were going to ask Scruffy." He gripped Fry in one of his bad-for-circulation hugs until he switched moods again, this time to childlike delight.
"Oh yeah! That means I get to plan the bachelor party! I've never been to a human bachelor party before, oh boy!"
The food problem solved, Fry smiled as he sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Man, I'm really going to miss living with you buddy."
Bender stopped, confused at the statement.
"Say what? Are you dying?"
"No, I'm moving in with Leela. Duh, we're getting married." The bending unit's CPU was processing this, but his emotion circuits were still lagging. "But I'll visit you a lot. I promise you that."
"Yeah, of course. Of course, you're moving out. I knew that." He abruptly left for his space of the apartment. "Good night Bender." Still a little dazed, Bender replied "Sure, good night."
As he went into his rest cycle, he knew that there would be no such thing anymore. But how could he deny his best friend the thing he wanted the most? Wasn't it kinder to let the mammal run free than to keep him in captivity? Surely he was tougher now than the last time he had tried to stick out it on his own... yeah... tougher.
Awkward, awkward, awkward.
Disclaimer: I don't own Futurama. Well, I guess the three DVD box sets I own mean I own something, but that still doesn't mean I'm in anyway affiliated with the creators, or the producers at Fox (thank Todd). By the way, although I made a brief mention of a bachelor party here, I didn't plan for one in the outline of this story. So if anyone wants to either send me chapter containing a bachelor or bachelorette party to put in the fic (full credits to you in bold, of course), or to write and post a separate fanfiction that follows the plotline of this story about them, please do. Oh, sorry this got a bit angsty, but I'm building up to something here. I think.
Fry and Leela exited the New Hands in About an Hour Store, relieved that the delivery boy's ordeal hadn't cost Fry the neural synapses in control his hands. Relieved or not though, Leela was still seething mad at the Professor. Not that this was much different from her usual attitude toward him, but at the moment she was closer to her "murderous rage" setting than her normal "general perturbment".
"I'd tell you to sue your nephew for the damages, but it'd be pointless." she said tersely, "Hopefully the fact that I trashed his devices will make him suffer slightly."
Fry flexed his new fingers. They weren't quite broken in, and it seemed to be taking longer than it had when they got bitten off by the T-Rex. Maybe he had gotten so used to robot hands that his normal "stupid fingers" just felt out of place. It was frustrating. He had been quiet after a few fits of screaming earlier, and seemed gloomier than usual. Leela sighed sadly in sympathy for his pain. She pulled him close with an arm around his shoulders, but let go when he winced sharply.
"Agh!"
"Sorry Fry. But I barely touched you!"
"I know but it still hurts!"
Experimentally the mutant lightly flicked his arm. "Oww ow ow!" She tapped his face. "Ouch!" She poked his ribs. "OWW." He curled into a ball on the sidewalk, trying not to whimper. Leela had never really minded inflicting physical violence before, so probably didn't feel as bad as you or I would hurting the love of our life, assuming you aren't a sadistic freak. Resisting the instinct to comfort Fry by holding him she dropped to her knees beside him.
"Does it hurt everywhere?"
"Yes..."
"... everywhere?"
The pain began to let up as he considered the implication. One very, very gay baby was born from that silence, as the superstition goes.
"If you're still in shock then you shouldn't, well, come back to my apartment. At least until you're better."
Awkward.
In a distant corner of the galaxy, on a ship known as the Nimbus, life was also full of a half hearted relief that things hadn't gone even worse. Under the command of Captain Brannigan, they had just narrowly missed being massacred by the Brisznne Department of Homeplanet Security. Zapp had landed without clearance and ordered the ship's refuse to be dumped in a nearby cave. Already two DOOP regulations broken, the Brisznne interpreted the dumping of waste into their mostly subterranean highway as a biological attack and made a declaration of war. They had to rescind it however, once DOOP files showed that the planet was technically classified as uninhabited (due to its lack of civilization on the surface), and legally Earth could dump anything wherever they wanted. The Brisznne, still infuriated, were going to start an embargo on Earth goods, including encouraging their neighbors to do the same. All in all, it was a thoroughly repugnant and humiliating affair, and one that Lt. Kif Kroker was looking forward to forgetting. After all, Amy was on the vid-phone.
"... and guess what? Fry and Leela got engaged! Who would have thought he'd finally get through to her?" she related excitedly.
It was a somewhat surprising. Of course, despite how long they had been together, Kif still found it incredible that Amy loved him. So relatively speaking, it wasn't that hard to believe. As he replied, a man entered the room, looking very proud of his bold, reckless method of trash disposal.
"That's wonderful. Be sure to give Captain Leela my congratulations on her engagement."
Brannigan's pride cringed as the words "Leela" and "engagement" came together in one sentence. He assertively spun around his inferior officer to interrogate him.
"Engagement?! I hope for your sake you're talking about some kind of catfight ridden military engagement Lieutenant!"
The amphibian wasn't sure how to tell him. If Zapp knew the truth, he might try to disrupt the wedding, and Kif owed Leela too much to be responsible for that. On the other hand, the Captain hadn't tried to breakup Fry and Leela on the Titanic. Maybe he would finally leave the woman alone. Besides, Kif was an officer in the military. He couldn't lie anyway.
"She's engaged to be married sir."
The anger in Zapp's face changed to worried confusion. "But, but, I never..." In a half coherent monolog he rambled out his feelings and lusts. It was fairly pathetic. Amy almost felt sorry for him, but mostly disgusted. Men. You sleep with them once and then act like you have some sort of obligation to stay in contact with them. Typical. Kif looked at her apologetically, knowing that the need to console his Captain would cut their conversation short. He turned off the connection, while Amy silently thanked the universe for the interruption. She had been worried that bringing this up with her boyfriend would lead into an uncomfortable discussion about the possibility of them getting married. It wouldn't be as bad as the whole mother thing would have been, but she still wasn't ready for it. She had her reasons, but they were so flimsy one look at Kif's sad face would have destroyed her resolve.
Awkward, awkward.
"Fry, you're just in time!" Bender exclaimed as his human pet entered the apartment. "I got the whole reception menu written out. Now I know we can't afford Europa rock shrimp, but there're these bugs just the same size and color in Old New York!" His stomach's muscle memory of Bender's cooking was the most painful thing Fry had felt all day. He vaguely recalled the robot mentioning catering the wedding, but hadn't thought much about it, what with having his hands removed. He couldn't break his best friend's heart by excluding him from the preparations, but the role of chef was out of the question.
"But Bender, that's so much work. You're already the Best Man-bot, I can't ask you to cook too."
The silver machine looked almost moved to tears. "Really? I was worried you were going to ask Scruffy." He gripped Fry in one of his bad-for-circulation hugs until he switched moods again, this time to childlike delight.
"Oh yeah! That means I get to plan the bachelor party! I've never been to a human bachelor party before, oh boy!"
The food problem solved, Fry smiled as he sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Man, I'm really going to miss living with you buddy."
Bender stopped, confused at the statement.
"Say what? Are you dying?"
"No, I'm moving in with Leela. Duh, we're getting married." The bending unit's CPU was processing this, but his emotion circuits were still lagging. "But I'll visit you a lot. I promise you that."
"Yeah, of course. Of course, you're moving out. I knew that." He abruptly left for his space of the apartment. "Good night Bender." Still a little dazed, Bender replied "Sure, good night."
As he went into his rest cycle, he knew that there would be no such thing anymore. But how could he deny his best friend the thing he wanted the most? Wasn't it kinder to let the mammal run free than to keep him in captivity? Surely he was tougher now than the last time he had tried to stick out it on his own... yeah... tougher.
Awkward, awkward, awkward.
Disclaimer: I don't own Futurama. Well, I guess the three DVD box sets I own mean I own something, but that still doesn't mean I'm in anyway affiliated with the creators, or the producers at Fox (thank Todd). By the way, although I made a brief mention of a bachelor party here, I didn't plan for one in the outline of this story. So if anyone wants to either send me chapter containing a bachelor or bachelorette party to put in the fic (full credits to you in bold, of course), or to write and post a separate fanfiction that follows the plotline of this story about them, please do. Oh, sorry this got a bit angsty, but I'm building up to something here. I think.