Lee Jordan settled into his comfortable pinstriped armchair by the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room, yawned and stretched, and said cheerfully, "So what do you think of the writing so far, then, Angelina?"

Angelina Johnson, in the chair opposite him, said doubtfully, "We-ell... it's had its moments, I grant you. But there's some fishy work going on with this new girl. And what was the deal with that last chapter, huh? I think it was just an excuse for the author to have a good laugh at Draco's expense."

Lee Jordan shuffled through some notes. (He and Angelina had sportingly agreed to return to Hogwarts for another year for the sake of this piece of fiction, even though it meant repeating their NEWTs. Fred and George Weasley had not been able to return due to the pressures of their new business; however they had very generously sent the large plate of jam doughnuts that lay on the table between Lee and Angelina.)

"Ah, the Confiscation incident – yes, it says here that the author had always wanted to be able to say '7.34 on the pornograph'. Well, we won't hold that against her, will we – after all, it's sure to have some relevance later on in the story."

Angelina glanced up at the bulletin board. Wenches magazine was pinned up, and the cover girl was still winking and smiling, though her face had been changed to Draco's. "Well, we can thank that chapter for our new piece of interior decoration at least," she said. "Another doughnut?"

Lee took a particularly jammy one, and said thickly, "Fill in our readers on what's been happening since Chapter 3, Angie."

"It's been a typical Hogwarts Christmas term, so far," she said, "asides from the Confiscating. The teachers aren't taking pity on us as far as homework goes – some poor fifth years have been pulling all-nighters in the attempt to get it all done." She glanced over at a table in the corner, where a lone student sat, scribbling feverishly. "Weather's been awful, but Quidditch training's been going on as per usual – I have to say the team have been real troopers about it. First match is on Saturday – Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw – hope you'll all be there!"

"And as for our main characters – well, I have to admit the situation with them is looking interesting, wouldn't you say?" broke in Lee. Angelina nodded enthusiastically. "Understandably, what with them being pretty stressed out, plus the rather anti-social behaviour of the new lass, there's all kinds of conflict. Doris Sue Ethel – have I got that right? – she's a bit of a thorn in Harry's side. Hermione's trying to smooth things down between them, but after she beat Harry at arm-wrestling again –"

"Beat all the Gryffindor blokes, you mean, and Michael Corner from Ravenclaw," interrupted Angelina, grinning.

"Yes, and don't I know it, I could hardly write the next day. Well, she's got a bit of a cult following going – Ginny Weasley and Neville Longbottom seem to find her interesting – not to mention Ron seems to be infatuated with her – that's a funny one, eh? But apart from that she's not too well liked hereabouts. The Gryffindors seem to think she's letting the side down."

"Well, she's got a very eccentric dress sense, and some personal hygiene issues," started Angelina. "The Slytherins make comments... although they always do." She ticked off the points on her fingers. "She's extremely tactless – had Eloise Midgen crying in the toilets for three hours the other day. Definitely speaks before she thinks. Then, she's not the most emotionally stable person – cries buckets at the slightest unintentional criticism, but inclined to hysterical laughter as well. In Potions, of all places, although surprisingly she's rather good at Potions."

"And her table manners leave something to be desired, I'm told," said Lee, doodling on his scratchpad. "I suppose I can see where they're coming from. She's an odd mixture, all right. Yes, it'll be interesting to see how this turns out. What do you think, Lizai?" he said, twisting around to look over his chair.

"What?" snapped the student in the corner, lifting her head from the parchment. She blinked several times. "Oh yeah, really interesting Lee, but I've got to finish this chapter of The Eye of Truth for Snape's Creative Writing class tomorrow, so if you don't mind..."

Lee sat back down. "And while we're on it, we may as well discuss the faculty news!"

Angelina chimed in, "Snape certainly was surprised at his new appointment, having yet again missed out on the Defence Against the Dark Arts position –"

The interview was disrupted as both Lee and Angelina suddenly turned into pandas, and the commentary had to be abandoned in favour of a more conventional writing style.

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A/N: Well, readers, by now you may be aware that I have a habit of drafting people in to my stories to do cameos without requesting their permission beforehand. Bwahahaha! Beware of flaming me, and watch your back or I might write a devastatingly witty critique of your writing skills! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!