Chapter 5
On the following Monday morning Harry was late for his Magical Attacks lecture. He ran into the building and took a seat down the front, next to Ron, who rolled his eyes ostentatiously. Harry was always running somewhere. He noticed Ron frowning over his appearance yet again. Sometimes the young man acted just like Molly!
Like most young wizards, Harry favoured muggle styles, but he was aware his particular style of clothing made Ron uncomfortable. Ron had once said that he could not understand why Harry would want to wear new jeans that were aged to make them look like hand-me-downs. In Ron's opinion, if a person had new jeans, then surely they would want them to look new? Harry's t-shirt was tight across his chest, prompting Ron to look at him disapprovingly and ask who the hell *were* 'the Ram Ones' anyway? The one thing that Harry knew Ron did approve of was the black leather jacket that had once belonged to Sirius Black.
The class consisted of about twenty wizards of varying ages, presided over by one Dr Cyrus Underwood. He was a middle aged wizard who always wore red and gold robes and a gold turban that made Harry vaguely uneasy. Just as Harry unrolled his scroll and took up his quill the lecture began.
Harry found all his lectures fascinating. At University people were much less in awe of him and he felt the freedom to be himself. Now that Voldemort was defeated, the weight of expectation that had hung over him had evaporated. He was happier than he had ever been. The other students were a friendly bunch and Harry enjoyed socialising, experimenting and doing all the normal student things.
He focused his attention on Dr Underwood, who was announcing what the assessment topic for the term would be.
"You may select a character from very recent history, or from one of the wars of the past. I want an investigation into the War Crimes of this individual. You can use whatever sources you can find, but I want a full list in the Bibliography. Pay particular attention to the forms of Magical Attack used by the witch or wizard in question."
Almost straight away Harry thought of Severus Snape. This would be the perfect way to find out more about the man, complete with a legitimate excuse. Certainly Snape's experiences with the Death Eaters would count as War Crimes, judging from what Dumbledore had said - or rather - not said.
Dr Underwood went on to stress that great care should be taken when dealing with former Death Eaters.
"If you choose a character from the recent past, please be careful. Many evildoers escaped the vengeance of the Light by changing sides at the last moment. Some of them have the ear of great men and this makes them doubly dangerous.
"Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater. That's a given. " He strode up and down in front of the students, obviously warming to his topic.
"Take the example of my brother's family. They were murdered for sport by Voldemort's cronies in the last war. The magical attack used was a petrifying spell, followed by a slow poison. It was given to the children first, so the parents could watch, powerless to do anything. The cruelty of it beggars description." He shook his head sadly. "The perpetrators of this atrocity were never apprehended. The cowards wore masks, as most of you would be aware," here he gave Harry and Ron a significant look. Everyone was aware of the part they had played in defeating Voldemort.
"The assignment is due in six weeks time. See me after the lecture if you have any questions." He then proceeded to his lecture topic. Harry took copious notes, but running through the back of his mind were ways to approach Severus Snape.
At lunch time in the Refectory Harry and Ron discussed their ideas for the assignment. Ron had decided to pick Lazarus Delgado, one of Grindelwald's most notorious lieutenants. Harry kept his subject to himself for now. He suspected Ron would think it was a bad idea.
Dr Underwood came in and sat in a corner of the room with a large group of wizards not far from Harry and Ron. Harry half listened to their conversation. They were discussing agitating for a hard line against Dark Wizards. One of Harry's other lecturers went over and began arguing with them. The discussion became rather heated, and had Harry's full attention when a certain name was mentioned.
"What about Severus Snape? He started out as a Death Eater when he was too young to know any better. He came over to our side years ago. Would you continue to punish him for the rest of his life for one mistake?"
"But what a mistake! People died because of mistakes like that. Are you trying to tell me that those evil bastards were all just mistaken?"
"I say death is too good for them. They should be made to suffer." This was said by a diminutive witch with a tall crooked hat. Harry recognised her as the publically vocal mother of one of the aurors who was killed early on in the war.
"There's a lot of people at the Ministry who agree with them. Dad's worried that they're going to go after Snape", Ron commented in an undertone.
"You're kidding!" said Harry, switching his attention back to Ron.
"Nope, because what he did was so secret, not many people know the full story. Dad even went to see him the other day."
"He went to see Snape?"
"Yep. The Order want him to go public with his story, but he refused. Said he was more useful if he's still under suspicion. Mum said Dad was pretty upset when he came home."
"Yeah, well, he is a hard man to talk to," Harry reasoned, referring to Snape. "I was actually thinking of doing my assignment on him," he admitted.
Ron surprised him. "That's a brilliant idea! Not that you'd get any help from him."
"I was thinking of asking for Professor Dumbledore's help. If he 'd agree to it, Snape wouldn't be able to argue with him."
"Cunning. I like it. Once you get him alone, you can hit him with your Occlumency!"
"Ron!" Harry was shocked, but at the same time excited at the prospect of reading Snape's unguarded thoughts.
"I don't like the guy, you know that, but I do trust him." Ron smiled.
All week long Harry had a nervous stomach ache. He flooed to Hogwarts on Saturday morning to see the Headmaster. He told him of his concerns and how it was in Snape's best interests to have his story told, especially in light of Cyrus Underwood's opinions. Dumbledore suggested Harry visit Knockturn Alley again.
"Severus has gone to purchase some rare ingredients this morning. You might run into him by chance in one of the Apothecary's there," the old man said with a twinkle in his eye. "Thank you for the warning, Harry. I'll have a word with him when he returns to Hogwarts."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said. Dumbledore sent him off through the floo in his office.
Once there, Harry strolled down the alley, peering through the dimly lit shop windows. He was examining a strange purple potted plant that seemed to be humming when he felt someone stop behind him. He turned around.
It was Lucius Malfoy. He had changed sides at the last moment and saved his son and some others from the wrath of the insane Dark Lord, losing an arm in the process. The man still looked imposing and the metallic prosthesis he wore gave him a sinister appearance.
"Good morning Mr Potter," he bowed his head.
"Mr Malfoy," Harry smiled. "How is Draco?"
"As well as can be expected, thank you. Are you here shopping? Can I help you find anything?"
"I'm looking for Professor Snape, actually. Have you seen him?"
"Yes I have, as it happens. He was in Flourish & Blotts not ten minutes ago."
"Thanks," Harry waved as he rattled off in the direction of Diagon Alley. Malfoy senior still made him uncomfortable. The man was almost deferential to him now. Harry suspected that if he decided to become the new Dark Lord, Malfoy would follow him. Harry was the most powerful wizard of his generation, and that power attracted all kinds of admiration.
Coming around a corner he caught sight of a tall figure with shoulder length black hair. He chased off after the person, whose head bobbed in and out of view in the crowd. He pushed through and followed his quarry into a most surprising destination.
Harry felt self-conscious as he stepped into the decadent atmosphere of Witchmaid Corsets. His eyes darted around the shop and finally came to rest on a tall figure stroking a red silk creation that would look decidedly kinky on the very male body of Severus Snape! Harry was about to say something when *she* turned around and nearly collided with him. Harry felt his cheeks burn and he muttered "Sorry" and fled.
Once outside he rushed off, not even noticing where he was going. He felt like such a fool. She had looked nothing like Professor Snape, once he saw her up close. He wondered why he was so fixated on the man lately - he seemed to spend all his time looking for the elusive wizard. His mind seized on the imagined sight of Severus Snape in a red corset and black stockings. Harry gulped, there was something so sexy about black stockings on long legs and those white bits of thigh flesh that led the eye to ... he swallowed, shocked at his errant thoughts. Calming himself, he set off towards Flourish and Blotts.
He prowled around between the shelves, scrutinising every tall, dark haired figure, but there was no sign of Severus Snape. He did find a few interesting books, however, and after purchasing them decided a nice cup of coffee was just what he needed.
He sat outside at one of his favourite haunts and met up with some fellow students. They discussed his books and compared their recent purchases. Harry was distracted from the conversation by the urge to watch all the passers-by, hoping to spot the Hogwarts Professor. He mentally rehearsed what he would say if he did see him.
After a relaxing half hour he headed off towards a renowned Herbalist's shop. He tried to browse around unobtrusively, wanting Snape to walk in. The proprietor - a short, determined little Fenland wizard in a garish tapestry vest and bow tie - accosted him with a tray of his mead, which he insisted Harry taste. He went on to describe in great detail the list of ingredients, describing their magical properties and interactions. At first Harry found this quite interesting, but after about twenty minutes he began to think of escaping.
The man would not be discouraged, however, and continued talking at length and bringing out more elixirs and tonics for Harry to taste. He went on and on about his family tree, his famous ancestors and the story of his life so far. Harry began to sweat with the need to get away. He tongue felt dry and he could not seem to say a word. After another twenty minutes he felt quite panicky, and finally managed to edge his way to the counter after agreeing to buy several expensive herbs that he didn't need.
He thanked the man and rushed out of the shop without his change, waving desperately at the gesticulating man to keep it. He shook his head to clear it and was shocked to perceive that he had been under the influence of a spell. He had a good mind to report the boring little git, while at the same time being rather impressed that the magic had got through his defences!
Disgusted with his lack of Snape sightings he ended up at Kings Cross Station, dashing on to Platform nine and three quarters just in time for the afternoon all-stations train to Hogwarts. Loaded with bags he walked the length of the train looking for an empty compartment. The very last one was vacant and he threw open the door, piled his bags on the seat and flopped down.
Harry shut his eyes and thought of Severus Snape. "Why am I so fascinated by him?" he wondered.
He heard the compartment door slide open and swore to himself, hoping it was not another boring old git who would want to talk to him. He just wanted to sit there with his eyes closed and relax.
Finally, curiosity got the better of him and he opened his eyes slowly.
He jumped when he saw who it was.
Severus Snape sat opposite him.
He looked slightly more friendly than usual. Which was to say, rather unfriendly, but not openly hostile.
"Potter", the man said by way of greeting.
Harry took a breath. "Good afternoon Professor Snape. How are you?"
Snape looked like he wanted nothing more than to say something really rude, but thought better of it. He cleared his throat and said, "Quite well, thank you." He folded his arms and glanced out the window as the train accelerated, then looked back pointedly at Harry and his bags.
Harry immediately felt embarrassed. He pulled his wand out slowly and shrunk the packages, putting them all into one small bag. He risked another look at Snape and the man raised his brow. Harry took that as an invitation and smiled. Snape scowled at him and they both looked out the window.
They sat in silence until the train lurched to a stop at Potters Bar. The Professor appeared to be smirking when Harry looked at him.
"What?" Harry said.
Snape's lips twitched and he coughed and asked Harry if he was travelling all the way to Hogwarts.
"Yes I am. I wanted to see you actually..."
"Really, how unusual." Snape looked surprised. Harry guessed because it was such an unprecedented occurrence. Snape wore an expectant expression.
"I have an assignment that I'd like some advice on."
Snape frowned. "I was not aware that you were studying any Potions subjects?"
"Well, it's not about Potions. Magical Attacks, actually. I was hoping you could tell me about some of the spells used by the Death Eaters." Harry felt his face colouring as he said the last two words. Snape turned his head away and looked out the window again.
"You're not working for the Daily Prophet or The Quibbler are you?" he asked Harry without looking at him.
Harry was outraged. "How could I ever work for the Prophet after all the mud they've slung at me over the years?"
Snape actually smiled, "Point taken. However you were rather friendly with the Lovegood girl at one stage, were you not?"
Harry took a moment to be surprised that the man had noticed whom he had been friendly with while at school. "A lot of people still believe that you only turned to save your own skin."
"It is immaterial to me what other people believe. The important p...the Order know the truth."
"But if you would tell me the full story I could use it to defend you. I've heard rumours and whispers about witch hunts and scapegoats. Some people feel very strongly about former Death Eaters."
Snape sighed. "So, Potter, you wish to study my evil methods in order to save me from the wrath of fools? I suppose you think there's a High Distinction in it for you," he said bitterly, "Choosing such a controversial topic for your assignment?" Snape was glaring at him now with narrowed eyes.
Harry got angry. "Look, I don't give a rat's arse about the damned assignment. I can find someone else to do it on. I'm just trying to warn you to tread carefully!" Harry was quite surprised to find himself admitting that he cared what happened to Snape.
The Professor tried to cover his own astonishment at Harry's vehement protestation. "What makes you think they're out to get me?" Harry watched as he traced his lips with his long, elegant finger. It reminded him of a day in Snape's office years earlier, when the Professor had been explaining Occlumency to him. If only he had listened to what he was being told.
"I've heard things at Uni. Ron tells me stuff as well." Harry looked deeply into Snape's dark eyes. Without conscious thought he reached out with his mind, searching for answers. He was a lot more powerful now than he had been as a school student. He sensed a cold, emotionless barrier, but pushed through it to sense feelings of dread, awe and overwhelming fear.
Harry abruptly realised what he was doing, and with a sense of horror hurled Snape's thoughts away. He rubbed at his temples and opened his eyes to see the Professor on all fours on the floor in front of him, breathing heavily with his head in his hands.
Harry shook his head and bent down to help Snape up.
"Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Are you all right?"
Harry felt a tingle of excitement in his hands as he took hold of Snape's biceps and placed him back on the leather seat. Harry could feel Snape's warm breath on his face.
The Professor rubbed his eyes. "Well Potter," he said shakily, "I see you finally decided to take my advice and practice. If only you had done so years ago!"
The words stung and Harry sat back as if slapped. Snape might just have well have said "It's your fault Sirius Black died."
Harry did not try to keep the hurt from his voice as he asked, "Why are you so scared of me?"
Snape was taken aback, and guilt made him speak honestly.
"Because you seek the truth."
On the following Monday morning Harry was late for his Magical Attacks lecture. He ran into the building and took a seat down the front, next to Ron, who rolled his eyes ostentatiously. Harry was always running somewhere. He noticed Ron frowning over his appearance yet again. Sometimes the young man acted just like Molly!
Like most young wizards, Harry favoured muggle styles, but he was aware his particular style of clothing made Ron uncomfortable. Ron had once said that he could not understand why Harry would want to wear new jeans that were aged to make them look like hand-me-downs. In Ron's opinion, if a person had new jeans, then surely they would want them to look new? Harry's t-shirt was tight across his chest, prompting Ron to look at him disapprovingly and ask who the hell *were* 'the Ram Ones' anyway? The one thing that Harry knew Ron did approve of was the black leather jacket that had once belonged to Sirius Black.
The class consisted of about twenty wizards of varying ages, presided over by one Dr Cyrus Underwood. He was a middle aged wizard who always wore red and gold robes and a gold turban that made Harry vaguely uneasy. Just as Harry unrolled his scroll and took up his quill the lecture began.
Harry found all his lectures fascinating. At University people were much less in awe of him and he felt the freedom to be himself. Now that Voldemort was defeated, the weight of expectation that had hung over him had evaporated. He was happier than he had ever been. The other students were a friendly bunch and Harry enjoyed socialising, experimenting and doing all the normal student things.
He focused his attention on Dr Underwood, who was announcing what the assessment topic for the term would be.
"You may select a character from very recent history, or from one of the wars of the past. I want an investigation into the War Crimes of this individual. You can use whatever sources you can find, but I want a full list in the Bibliography. Pay particular attention to the forms of Magical Attack used by the witch or wizard in question."
Almost straight away Harry thought of Severus Snape. This would be the perfect way to find out more about the man, complete with a legitimate excuse. Certainly Snape's experiences with the Death Eaters would count as War Crimes, judging from what Dumbledore had said - or rather - not said.
Dr Underwood went on to stress that great care should be taken when dealing with former Death Eaters.
"If you choose a character from the recent past, please be careful. Many evildoers escaped the vengeance of the Light by changing sides at the last moment. Some of them have the ear of great men and this makes them doubly dangerous.
"Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater. That's a given. " He strode up and down in front of the students, obviously warming to his topic.
"Take the example of my brother's family. They were murdered for sport by Voldemort's cronies in the last war. The magical attack used was a petrifying spell, followed by a slow poison. It was given to the children first, so the parents could watch, powerless to do anything. The cruelty of it beggars description." He shook his head sadly. "The perpetrators of this atrocity were never apprehended. The cowards wore masks, as most of you would be aware," here he gave Harry and Ron a significant look. Everyone was aware of the part they had played in defeating Voldemort.
"The assignment is due in six weeks time. See me after the lecture if you have any questions." He then proceeded to his lecture topic. Harry took copious notes, but running through the back of his mind were ways to approach Severus Snape.
At lunch time in the Refectory Harry and Ron discussed their ideas for the assignment. Ron had decided to pick Lazarus Delgado, one of Grindelwald's most notorious lieutenants. Harry kept his subject to himself for now. He suspected Ron would think it was a bad idea.
Dr Underwood came in and sat in a corner of the room with a large group of wizards not far from Harry and Ron. Harry half listened to their conversation. They were discussing agitating for a hard line against Dark Wizards. One of Harry's other lecturers went over and began arguing with them. The discussion became rather heated, and had Harry's full attention when a certain name was mentioned.
"What about Severus Snape? He started out as a Death Eater when he was too young to know any better. He came over to our side years ago. Would you continue to punish him for the rest of his life for one mistake?"
"But what a mistake! People died because of mistakes like that. Are you trying to tell me that those evil bastards were all just mistaken?"
"I say death is too good for them. They should be made to suffer." This was said by a diminutive witch with a tall crooked hat. Harry recognised her as the publically vocal mother of one of the aurors who was killed early on in the war.
"There's a lot of people at the Ministry who agree with them. Dad's worried that they're going to go after Snape", Ron commented in an undertone.
"You're kidding!" said Harry, switching his attention back to Ron.
"Nope, because what he did was so secret, not many people know the full story. Dad even went to see him the other day."
"He went to see Snape?"
"Yep. The Order want him to go public with his story, but he refused. Said he was more useful if he's still under suspicion. Mum said Dad was pretty upset when he came home."
"Yeah, well, he is a hard man to talk to," Harry reasoned, referring to Snape. "I was actually thinking of doing my assignment on him," he admitted.
Ron surprised him. "That's a brilliant idea! Not that you'd get any help from him."
"I was thinking of asking for Professor Dumbledore's help. If he 'd agree to it, Snape wouldn't be able to argue with him."
"Cunning. I like it. Once you get him alone, you can hit him with your Occlumency!"
"Ron!" Harry was shocked, but at the same time excited at the prospect of reading Snape's unguarded thoughts.
"I don't like the guy, you know that, but I do trust him." Ron smiled.
All week long Harry had a nervous stomach ache. He flooed to Hogwarts on Saturday morning to see the Headmaster. He told him of his concerns and how it was in Snape's best interests to have his story told, especially in light of Cyrus Underwood's opinions. Dumbledore suggested Harry visit Knockturn Alley again.
"Severus has gone to purchase some rare ingredients this morning. You might run into him by chance in one of the Apothecary's there," the old man said with a twinkle in his eye. "Thank you for the warning, Harry. I'll have a word with him when he returns to Hogwarts."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said. Dumbledore sent him off through the floo in his office.
Once there, Harry strolled down the alley, peering through the dimly lit shop windows. He was examining a strange purple potted plant that seemed to be humming when he felt someone stop behind him. He turned around.
It was Lucius Malfoy. He had changed sides at the last moment and saved his son and some others from the wrath of the insane Dark Lord, losing an arm in the process. The man still looked imposing and the metallic prosthesis he wore gave him a sinister appearance.
"Good morning Mr Potter," he bowed his head.
"Mr Malfoy," Harry smiled. "How is Draco?"
"As well as can be expected, thank you. Are you here shopping? Can I help you find anything?"
"I'm looking for Professor Snape, actually. Have you seen him?"
"Yes I have, as it happens. He was in Flourish & Blotts not ten minutes ago."
"Thanks," Harry waved as he rattled off in the direction of Diagon Alley. Malfoy senior still made him uncomfortable. The man was almost deferential to him now. Harry suspected that if he decided to become the new Dark Lord, Malfoy would follow him. Harry was the most powerful wizard of his generation, and that power attracted all kinds of admiration.
Coming around a corner he caught sight of a tall figure with shoulder length black hair. He chased off after the person, whose head bobbed in and out of view in the crowd. He pushed through and followed his quarry into a most surprising destination.
Harry felt self-conscious as he stepped into the decadent atmosphere of Witchmaid Corsets. His eyes darted around the shop and finally came to rest on a tall figure stroking a red silk creation that would look decidedly kinky on the very male body of Severus Snape! Harry was about to say something when *she* turned around and nearly collided with him. Harry felt his cheeks burn and he muttered "Sorry" and fled.
Once outside he rushed off, not even noticing where he was going. He felt like such a fool. She had looked nothing like Professor Snape, once he saw her up close. He wondered why he was so fixated on the man lately - he seemed to spend all his time looking for the elusive wizard. His mind seized on the imagined sight of Severus Snape in a red corset and black stockings. Harry gulped, there was something so sexy about black stockings on long legs and those white bits of thigh flesh that led the eye to ... he swallowed, shocked at his errant thoughts. Calming himself, he set off towards Flourish and Blotts.
He prowled around between the shelves, scrutinising every tall, dark haired figure, but there was no sign of Severus Snape. He did find a few interesting books, however, and after purchasing them decided a nice cup of coffee was just what he needed.
He sat outside at one of his favourite haunts and met up with some fellow students. They discussed his books and compared their recent purchases. Harry was distracted from the conversation by the urge to watch all the passers-by, hoping to spot the Hogwarts Professor. He mentally rehearsed what he would say if he did see him.
After a relaxing half hour he headed off towards a renowned Herbalist's shop. He tried to browse around unobtrusively, wanting Snape to walk in. The proprietor - a short, determined little Fenland wizard in a garish tapestry vest and bow tie - accosted him with a tray of his mead, which he insisted Harry taste. He went on to describe in great detail the list of ingredients, describing their magical properties and interactions. At first Harry found this quite interesting, but after about twenty minutes he began to think of escaping.
The man would not be discouraged, however, and continued talking at length and bringing out more elixirs and tonics for Harry to taste. He went on and on about his family tree, his famous ancestors and the story of his life so far. Harry began to sweat with the need to get away. He tongue felt dry and he could not seem to say a word. After another twenty minutes he felt quite panicky, and finally managed to edge his way to the counter after agreeing to buy several expensive herbs that he didn't need.
He thanked the man and rushed out of the shop without his change, waving desperately at the gesticulating man to keep it. He shook his head to clear it and was shocked to perceive that he had been under the influence of a spell. He had a good mind to report the boring little git, while at the same time being rather impressed that the magic had got through his defences!
Disgusted with his lack of Snape sightings he ended up at Kings Cross Station, dashing on to Platform nine and three quarters just in time for the afternoon all-stations train to Hogwarts. Loaded with bags he walked the length of the train looking for an empty compartment. The very last one was vacant and he threw open the door, piled his bags on the seat and flopped down.
Harry shut his eyes and thought of Severus Snape. "Why am I so fascinated by him?" he wondered.
He heard the compartment door slide open and swore to himself, hoping it was not another boring old git who would want to talk to him. He just wanted to sit there with his eyes closed and relax.
Finally, curiosity got the better of him and he opened his eyes slowly.
He jumped when he saw who it was.
Severus Snape sat opposite him.
He looked slightly more friendly than usual. Which was to say, rather unfriendly, but not openly hostile.
"Potter", the man said by way of greeting.
Harry took a breath. "Good afternoon Professor Snape. How are you?"
Snape looked like he wanted nothing more than to say something really rude, but thought better of it. He cleared his throat and said, "Quite well, thank you." He folded his arms and glanced out the window as the train accelerated, then looked back pointedly at Harry and his bags.
Harry immediately felt embarrassed. He pulled his wand out slowly and shrunk the packages, putting them all into one small bag. He risked another look at Snape and the man raised his brow. Harry took that as an invitation and smiled. Snape scowled at him and they both looked out the window.
They sat in silence until the train lurched to a stop at Potters Bar. The Professor appeared to be smirking when Harry looked at him.
"What?" Harry said.
Snape's lips twitched and he coughed and asked Harry if he was travelling all the way to Hogwarts.
"Yes I am. I wanted to see you actually..."
"Really, how unusual." Snape looked surprised. Harry guessed because it was such an unprecedented occurrence. Snape wore an expectant expression.
"I have an assignment that I'd like some advice on."
Snape frowned. "I was not aware that you were studying any Potions subjects?"
"Well, it's not about Potions. Magical Attacks, actually. I was hoping you could tell me about some of the spells used by the Death Eaters." Harry felt his face colouring as he said the last two words. Snape turned his head away and looked out the window again.
"You're not working for the Daily Prophet or The Quibbler are you?" he asked Harry without looking at him.
Harry was outraged. "How could I ever work for the Prophet after all the mud they've slung at me over the years?"
Snape actually smiled, "Point taken. However you were rather friendly with the Lovegood girl at one stage, were you not?"
Harry took a moment to be surprised that the man had noticed whom he had been friendly with while at school. "A lot of people still believe that you only turned to save your own skin."
"It is immaterial to me what other people believe. The important p...the Order know the truth."
"But if you would tell me the full story I could use it to defend you. I've heard rumours and whispers about witch hunts and scapegoats. Some people feel very strongly about former Death Eaters."
Snape sighed. "So, Potter, you wish to study my evil methods in order to save me from the wrath of fools? I suppose you think there's a High Distinction in it for you," he said bitterly, "Choosing such a controversial topic for your assignment?" Snape was glaring at him now with narrowed eyes.
Harry got angry. "Look, I don't give a rat's arse about the damned assignment. I can find someone else to do it on. I'm just trying to warn you to tread carefully!" Harry was quite surprised to find himself admitting that he cared what happened to Snape.
The Professor tried to cover his own astonishment at Harry's vehement protestation. "What makes you think they're out to get me?" Harry watched as he traced his lips with his long, elegant finger. It reminded him of a day in Snape's office years earlier, when the Professor had been explaining Occlumency to him. If only he had listened to what he was being told.
"I've heard things at Uni. Ron tells me stuff as well." Harry looked deeply into Snape's dark eyes. Without conscious thought he reached out with his mind, searching for answers. He was a lot more powerful now than he had been as a school student. He sensed a cold, emotionless barrier, but pushed through it to sense feelings of dread, awe and overwhelming fear.
Harry abruptly realised what he was doing, and with a sense of horror hurled Snape's thoughts away. He rubbed at his temples and opened his eyes to see the Professor on all fours on the floor in front of him, breathing heavily with his head in his hands.
Harry shook his head and bent down to help Snape up.
"Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Are you all right?"
Harry felt a tingle of excitement in his hands as he took hold of Snape's biceps and placed him back on the leather seat. Harry could feel Snape's warm breath on his face.
The Professor rubbed his eyes. "Well Potter," he said shakily, "I see you finally decided to take my advice and practice. If only you had done so years ago!"
The words stung and Harry sat back as if slapped. Snape might just have well have said "It's your fault Sirius Black died."
Harry did not try to keep the hurt from his voice as he asked, "Why are you so scared of me?"
Snape was taken aback, and guilt made him speak honestly.
"Because you seek the truth."