Chapter 6
One week later Harry and Ron received an owl to their shared rooms at Merlin College. There was to be an Order of the Phoenix meeting at 12 Grimmauld Place that Saturday evening. Harry was eagerly anticipating seeing Professor Snape again. The Professor had reluctantly agreed to help Harry - albeit anonymously - with his assignment, after being 'talked into it' by the Headmaster. After Harry's inadvertant incursion into his mind during the train trip, Snape had been very wary of him. Harry had asked lots of questions during his stay at Hogwarts last weekend, but Snape had only discussed Dark Magic with him in an abstract way. Still, Harry had the bones of his Magical Attacks assignment worked out and all that was required was some fleshing out.
When Saturday finally came the day could not pass quickly enough for Harry. By late afternoon he found himself standing in front of a mirror considering what to wear. Since he had to travel through Muggle London, he had to blend in. He pulled on a faded pair of jeans, but took them off when he decided they looked too scruffy. He tried on a few different ensembles and posed in front of the mirror, laughing at its cheeky comments. In the end he opted for a pair of baggy khaki cargoes teamed with a short black t-shirt. He gelled his bangs so they hung down over his cheekbones, pulling the rest of his abundant hair back in dreadlocks and tucking it into a Lenin style cap. He smiled at his reflection. "Definitely shaggable!" he pronounced. The mirror agreed. He wanted to wear eyeliner, but was not quite brave enough for that. Ron's brothers already teased him for being too pretty.
Ron had been studying in the library with Hermione, who was doing an Arithmancy course. They both burst into the room to find Harry admiring himself in the mirror.
As usual Ron rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I don't know what you're thinking, Harry, old mate. Surely there's no one at Grimmauld Place who's worth all that effort. Who's pants are you trying to get into now?"
Harry laughed. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
Hermionie looked shocked. "God, Harry, most of them are old enough to be your...um, yeah, they're all too old for you."
"Ron's brothers aren't much older than us," Harry argued.
"I've told you before, Harry. My brothers are off limits. And they're not gay either," Ron was laughing, but Harry knew that Ron would find it just too weird. Luckily for Ron, Harry was just not attracted to redheads in *that* way.
"Come on, let's go and have a drink," Harry said, leading them out the door as he donned a faux sheepskin jacket. They went to the local muggle pub and had a couple of pints and a quick bite to eat before making their way to 12 Grimmauld Place and the Order meeting.
By 10.30pm the official meeting had finished and Severus Snape had not yet made his appearance. The members who were present had adjourned to the kitchen where Molly and Arthur were serving drinks and snacks. Harry followed Arthur into the pantry and asked why Snape had not been at the meeting.
"He contacted me earlier and said he'd be a bit late, Harry. He's been doing some work for the Order, visiting some of the Death Eaters that went into hiding and seeing where their loyalties lie."
"That sounds dangerous," Harry commented.
"Mmmm. The thing is, a lot of them still trust him. His bad reputation actually works in our favour, because while there's mistrust on our side, the Death Eaters think he's one of their own."
Harry frowned. "I suppose so, but it seems dead risky for him." Harry followed Arthur around the table as he replenished the biscuits.
Just then there was a commotion and Snape entered the room. He apologised for his tardiness and Arthur asked him for his report. In lieu of Dumbledore, who was away with Hagrid on another embassy to the Giants, Arthur Weasley presided over the meeting.
Snape stood with his hands on the back of a chair. He started to speak, but faltered when Harry moved to the table to sit down. Harry felt his cheeks go pink and stuffed a biscuit into his mouth just for something to do with his hands. He could feel Snape's eyes on him. Harry felt the stirrings of a sexual awareness of the Professor that had gradually been building within him.
Snape then cleared his throat, looking pointedly at Remus Lupin, who was whispering in Tonks' ear. When the room was finally silent, he began.
"I have been to see Mauricia Avery tonight. She has invited me to participate in the celebration of Walpurgis Night on the first of May. As some of you are aware, this was always a major event in the Death Eater calendar. As usual it is to be held in Germany, on the mount at Brocken. All of the remaining Death Eaters will attend.
"This is a great step forward for me, as I will be able to make contact with supporters on the Continent. It will only work if I can maintain my delicate position with the Ministry. As long as they continue to suspect me, and publicly accuse me - without any actual evidence - my usefulness to the Order will endure."
The Professor made to sit down, but Tonks asked the question that most people were too embarrassed to admit ignorance over.
"What exactly *is* this Walpurgis night?"
Severus Snape sighed. "It is a traditional Germanic festival." He looked reluctant to say more.
Hermione stood up. "If I might be permitted to speak?" Arthur nodded and gestured for her to continue.
"Walpurgis Night is celebrated annually on the First of May in most magical regions of Germany, Austria and Switzerland," Hermione began in her best lecturing voice.
"According to tradition, witches and wizards gather at midnight on the Mount at Brocken. Potions are injested and the consequent delirium leads to acts of depravity, bestiality and participation in obscene rites." Harry saw that Hermione was about to continue when she looked at Professor Snape, who was staring at her with such a frozen espression on his face that she sat down abruptly.
"Well, thank you Hermione," Arthur said heartily, "Anyone for cocoa?" Molly rushed around with mugs and everyone pretended to be very interested in the chocolate beverage.
Harry felt for Snape. He sat with his head down, carefully sipping the hot cocoa that Molly had thrust at him.
Several of the others were laughing and muttering comments that were audible to Harry. Sturgis Podmore muttered "Didn't know old Severus had it in him," and someone else laughed and said "Bet I know what he'd like in 'im," waving his broomstick and motioning in a lewd fashion. Unexpectedly Snape looked up and met Harry's eyes. Harry knew that he alone recognised the mortification in the depths of those dark eyes.
Harry got up and went to sit in the vacant chair next to the Professor. He stared at Snape's face till the man looked sideways at him.
"Can I talk to you? Would you come up to the Drawing Room?" Harry said in a whisper.
Snape's face betrayed his hesitation. Harry could tell he really wanted to get out of that room. He seemed to come to a decision, standing up so abruptly that his chair rocked back on its legs, wobbling loudly in the silence.
Harry walked behind him up the stairs, noticing that Snape wore trousers under a long, black robe. Snape went to stand at the mantlepiece where a cheering fire roared to life.
"How do you do it?" Harry asked, flopping onto a chair in front of the fire.
Snape sighed. "I do what I must." He looked tired and defeated.
"But surely after all this time..."
"Don't presume to-"
"Will you stop treating me like a child? I killed him so this kind of thing would stop!"
Snape snorted. "Well, I'm sorry to tell you that Voldemort did not have the monopoly on evil. It's still out there. It's still the biggest threat to our survival."
"What do you mean?"
"Greed. Power. Glory. A wizard may be seduced by these things. You know it as well as I do. I saw what you felt when you destroyed him. It nearly took you as well."
Harry picked at the fraying material of the chair. He hadn't realised anyone had recognised the temptation he had felt to immerse himself in the raw power he had experienced. He felt humbled and ashamed of himself. He looked up to see Snape kneeling before him. The sincere admiration in Snape's eyes made him lower his head. He was not worthy of it. A cold hand reached up to lift his chin until they were eye to eye.
"You did a great thing that day. I did not mean to belittle it. You have such a capacity for goodness...it even gives hope to those of us who have no right to expect anything."
Harry felt his eyes watering. He wanted to hug Snape for his eloquence, for baring his soul, but the other man stood up quickly and left the room. No man had any right to sound so desolate. He heard the outside door slam a few seconds later. Harry ached at the thought of Snape returning alone to his cold, lonely dungeon.
One week later Harry and Ron received an owl to their shared rooms at Merlin College. There was to be an Order of the Phoenix meeting at 12 Grimmauld Place that Saturday evening. Harry was eagerly anticipating seeing Professor Snape again. The Professor had reluctantly agreed to help Harry - albeit anonymously - with his assignment, after being 'talked into it' by the Headmaster. After Harry's inadvertant incursion into his mind during the train trip, Snape had been very wary of him. Harry had asked lots of questions during his stay at Hogwarts last weekend, but Snape had only discussed Dark Magic with him in an abstract way. Still, Harry had the bones of his Magical Attacks assignment worked out and all that was required was some fleshing out.
When Saturday finally came the day could not pass quickly enough for Harry. By late afternoon he found himself standing in front of a mirror considering what to wear. Since he had to travel through Muggle London, he had to blend in. He pulled on a faded pair of jeans, but took them off when he decided they looked too scruffy. He tried on a few different ensembles and posed in front of the mirror, laughing at its cheeky comments. In the end he opted for a pair of baggy khaki cargoes teamed with a short black t-shirt. He gelled his bangs so they hung down over his cheekbones, pulling the rest of his abundant hair back in dreadlocks and tucking it into a Lenin style cap. He smiled at his reflection. "Definitely shaggable!" he pronounced. The mirror agreed. He wanted to wear eyeliner, but was not quite brave enough for that. Ron's brothers already teased him for being too pretty.
Ron had been studying in the library with Hermione, who was doing an Arithmancy course. They both burst into the room to find Harry admiring himself in the mirror.
As usual Ron rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I don't know what you're thinking, Harry, old mate. Surely there's no one at Grimmauld Place who's worth all that effort. Who's pants are you trying to get into now?"
Harry laughed. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
Hermionie looked shocked. "God, Harry, most of them are old enough to be your...um, yeah, they're all too old for you."
"Ron's brothers aren't much older than us," Harry argued.
"I've told you before, Harry. My brothers are off limits. And they're not gay either," Ron was laughing, but Harry knew that Ron would find it just too weird. Luckily for Ron, Harry was just not attracted to redheads in *that* way.
"Come on, let's go and have a drink," Harry said, leading them out the door as he donned a faux sheepskin jacket. They went to the local muggle pub and had a couple of pints and a quick bite to eat before making their way to 12 Grimmauld Place and the Order meeting.
By 10.30pm the official meeting had finished and Severus Snape had not yet made his appearance. The members who were present had adjourned to the kitchen where Molly and Arthur were serving drinks and snacks. Harry followed Arthur into the pantry and asked why Snape had not been at the meeting.
"He contacted me earlier and said he'd be a bit late, Harry. He's been doing some work for the Order, visiting some of the Death Eaters that went into hiding and seeing where their loyalties lie."
"That sounds dangerous," Harry commented.
"Mmmm. The thing is, a lot of them still trust him. His bad reputation actually works in our favour, because while there's mistrust on our side, the Death Eaters think he's one of their own."
Harry frowned. "I suppose so, but it seems dead risky for him." Harry followed Arthur around the table as he replenished the biscuits.
Just then there was a commotion and Snape entered the room. He apologised for his tardiness and Arthur asked him for his report. In lieu of Dumbledore, who was away with Hagrid on another embassy to the Giants, Arthur Weasley presided over the meeting.
Snape stood with his hands on the back of a chair. He started to speak, but faltered when Harry moved to the table to sit down. Harry felt his cheeks go pink and stuffed a biscuit into his mouth just for something to do with his hands. He could feel Snape's eyes on him. Harry felt the stirrings of a sexual awareness of the Professor that had gradually been building within him.
Snape then cleared his throat, looking pointedly at Remus Lupin, who was whispering in Tonks' ear. When the room was finally silent, he began.
"I have been to see Mauricia Avery tonight. She has invited me to participate in the celebration of Walpurgis Night on the first of May. As some of you are aware, this was always a major event in the Death Eater calendar. As usual it is to be held in Germany, on the mount at Brocken. All of the remaining Death Eaters will attend.
"This is a great step forward for me, as I will be able to make contact with supporters on the Continent. It will only work if I can maintain my delicate position with the Ministry. As long as they continue to suspect me, and publicly accuse me - without any actual evidence - my usefulness to the Order will endure."
The Professor made to sit down, but Tonks asked the question that most people were too embarrassed to admit ignorance over.
"What exactly *is* this Walpurgis night?"
Severus Snape sighed. "It is a traditional Germanic festival." He looked reluctant to say more.
Hermione stood up. "If I might be permitted to speak?" Arthur nodded and gestured for her to continue.
"Walpurgis Night is celebrated annually on the First of May in most magical regions of Germany, Austria and Switzerland," Hermione began in her best lecturing voice.
"According to tradition, witches and wizards gather at midnight on the Mount at Brocken. Potions are injested and the consequent delirium leads to acts of depravity, bestiality and participation in obscene rites." Harry saw that Hermione was about to continue when she looked at Professor Snape, who was staring at her with such a frozen espression on his face that she sat down abruptly.
"Well, thank you Hermione," Arthur said heartily, "Anyone for cocoa?" Molly rushed around with mugs and everyone pretended to be very interested in the chocolate beverage.
Harry felt for Snape. He sat with his head down, carefully sipping the hot cocoa that Molly had thrust at him.
Several of the others were laughing and muttering comments that were audible to Harry. Sturgis Podmore muttered "Didn't know old Severus had it in him," and someone else laughed and said "Bet I know what he'd like in 'im," waving his broomstick and motioning in a lewd fashion. Unexpectedly Snape looked up and met Harry's eyes. Harry knew that he alone recognised the mortification in the depths of those dark eyes.
Harry got up and went to sit in the vacant chair next to the Professor. He stared at Snape's face till the man looked sideways at him.
"Can I talk to you? Would you come up to the Drawing Room?" Harry said in a whisper.
Snape's face betrayed his hesitation. Harry could tell he really wanted to get out of that room. He seemed to come to a decision, standing up so abruptly that his chair rocked back on its legs, wobbling loudly in the silence.
Harry walked behind him up the stairs, noticing that Snape wore trousers under a long, black robe. Snape went to stand at the mantlepiece where a cheering fire roared to life.
"How do you do it?" Harry asked, flopping onto a chair in front of the fire.
Snape sighed. "I do what I must." He looked tired and defeated.
"But surely after all this time..."
"Don't presume to-"
"Will you stop treating me like a child? I killed him so this kind of thing would stop!"
Snape snorted. "Well, I'm sorry to tell you that Voldemort did not have the monopoly on evil. It's still out there. It's still the biggest threat to our survival."
"What do you mean?"
"Greed. Power. Glory. A wizard may be seduced by these things. You know it as well as I do. I saw what you felt when you destroyed him. It nearly took you as well."
Harry picked at the fraying material of the chair. He hadn't realised anyone had recognised the temptation he had felt to immerse himself in the raw power he had experienced. He felt humbled and ashamed of himself. He looked up to see Snape kneeling before him. The sincere admiration in Snape's eyes made him lower his head. He was not worthy of it. A cold hand reached up to lift his chin until they were eye to eye.
"You did a great thing that day. I did not mean to belittle it. You have such a capacity for goodness...it even gives hope to those of us who have no right to expect anything."
Harry felt his eyes watering. He wanted to hug Snape for his eloquence, for baring his soul, but the other man stood up quickly and left the room. No man had any right to sound so desolate. He heard the outside door slam a few seconds later. Harry ached at the thought of Snape returning alone to his cold, lonely dungeon.