"Erm," said Ron, feeling that he ought to take charge of the situation, as everyone other than Doris/Naedine seemed to be stupefied. "That's very, er, nice..."
"Well, this is certainly a relief," pronounced Doris/Naedine, as she lay down Seamus's shaving mirror, in which she had been considering her perfect features. She smoothed down her already-smooth hair, and stood up. "What are you all staring at?"
The assembled Ravenclaws, Slytherins and Gryffindors attempted to formulate a sensible reply, but were unable to do so before Doris/Naedine moved onto more important things. "Somebody call Filch," she stated impatiently. "It's high time my trunk got here. Ginny, you can do it."
The redhead scuttled toward the portrait hole, but before she got there it opened, and Argus Filch huffed and puffed his way through, carrying an enormous trunk. With a grunt, he heaved it onto the floor.
"Found this a couple of minutes ago," he said. "Was sitting smack in the middle of the staffroom floor. Dunno how we didn't notice it. Well, I'll send a house-elf or two to bring it up to your dormitory later..." He stopped and stared at the "new" girl in their midst.
"Thank you, Argus," Naedine said charmingly, and snapped the locks on her trunk open. "I've been wanting this for a while now. Ooh, my CD player! And my cheese!"
Parvati Patil was the first to find her voice. "Erm, Doris, I mean, Naedine..."
"Yes?" said Naedine, swivelling gracefully around to face the group.
Looking at their awestruck faces, she laid a slim, braceleted arm around Parvati's shoulders and said kindly, "Now Parvati – all of you – I realise this will be a difficult change to get used to, but you must know that I'm really the same person as the Doris you all got to know and love – I'm just prettier, thinner, smarter and have better dress sense." She glanced around again, and then added impatiently, "What's the matter with you all? I personally feel this is an occasion to be celebrated..."
"Right you are, Dor-Naedine," gulped Dean Thomas, and ran upstairs for his Butterbeer. The others reacted in as celebratory a manner as they could, in their shell-shocked condition. Padma ran off to inform the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs of this latest development; Pansy went to tell the Slytherins. Fairly soon people began pouring in through the portrait hole, some with sandwiches and cake, others with hip-flasks of Ogden's Old Firewhisky. All were in their pyjamas, as by now it was two in the morning. Tables and armchairs were cleared out of the way, and fairly soon there were large numbers of people on the dance floor. Colin Creevey got a couple of nice shots of Naedine explaining to Ginny and Lavender how her CD player (which had been enchanted to play loudly without speakers) worked.
The sound of disco music pouring out through the opened windows of the North Tower soon drew more than just other students, however. Harry, who had stumbled downstairs with his quilt still wrapped around him, noticed Hagrid and Madame Hooch coming in through the portrait hole, and congratulating Naedine. Hermione noticed Harry's bemused look, and came over.
"What the hell is going on," he growled. Hermione quickly filled him in on the situation, which he accepted with the fatalistic air of one who was going to have to play a Quidditch match on two hours sleep the next day. At the end, she added nervously, "I'm not at all sure it was the right thing to do now, Harry! I mean, after all that Ron went through... you should have heard him, honestly, it was really touching... and now she doesn't seem at all interested..."
Indeed, Ron had been trying to get Naedine's attention for the past half-hour without success. As she posed, smiling winningly, for a photo with Professor Flitwick, Ron sidled up to her and shouted over the music, "Er, so are we still going to Hogsmeade, then?"
Naedine pouted. "Now you've ruined the shot, Ron," she said, earning him a glare from Colin before he walked off. Holding up a small compact, she began to freshen her makeup. "About Hogsmeade – we'll talk about it later, okay honey?" She blotted her lips, snapped the compact shut, and went off to talk to Lee Jordan. Ron was left dumbfounded.
"Ouch," winced Hermione; she and Harry had seen the whole thing from their vantage point at the side of the room. "I'll go over there and talk to him."
"Yeah, tell him hard luck from me," said Harry, yawning, "but I'm off to sleep in the Room of Requirement. Or the staff room. Or Slytherin House, if I can't find anywhere nearer. Night."
In his near-comatose state, Harry nearly walked into Dumbledore as he made his way out of the room. "Ah, Harry, good to see you." He offered Harry a cube of something speared on a toothpick. "Have you tried the Pepperjack? It's rather good! And I hear it's our Naedine's favourite cheese... well, night night then!" Humming along with "Funkytown", he drifted away.
Harry shook his head to clear it, and climbed out through the portrait hall into the blessed quiet and darkness of the hallway.
A/N: Last night I dreamed that Anne McCaffery liked my story (she mentioned it on her LiveJournal). Then she sent me to a writer's convention, where I was humiliated for coming in late by the evil woman in charge. It's a long shot, but Anne, if you're reading this, I'd appreciate a review. That goes for all you people too!