"You're
kidding me right?" Cordelia exasperatingly said to her father in a
hushed whisper as she ran a hand through her long, brown locks,
trying to get some sense of control over her emotions.
A
flicker of guilt passed fleetingly through her father's dark eyes
but left just as soon, leaving no trace behind. Will lifted his hand
and placed it on his daughter's shoulder, choosing his words
carefully so he wouldn't make matters worse. "Let's try to be
civil about this."
"I'm gone three months and I come
back to see some strange woman in our house. How do you expect me to
be civil when you kept something like this from me!"
Sighing,
Will ran a hand along his face, obviously trying to keep himself from
losing control over his temper. He'd planned to tell her over
dinner, to slowly ease into the fact that he was dating someone and
had strong feelings for the woman. But no, Cordelia, his
always-unpredictable daughter, was the one who surprised him, not the
other way around. "I didn't keep it from you. And she's not
strange. She's sweet, creative, smart and beautiful."
Now
it was Cordelia's turn to sigh, losing part of her frustration with
her father. "I never said she wasn't. She seems nice but dad, you
gotta take a minute and think. How would you react if you came home
after a trip to discover I had a guy in the house."
"That
won't be happening any time soon," he answered with a low voice,
his paternal instincts distracting him from the real discussion.
"This is different, Cordelia. I didn't want to mention this to
you because I didn't know, at the time, if it was going anywhere.
What I'm trying to say is I didn't want you to have crazy notions
of having a step-mother when really, I had no idea if there was a
future with me and the dating world."
"I never would have
had thought of having a stepmother," Cordelia assured him, finding
it harder and harder to be frustrated with her father. It was his
life and she couldn't tell him what to do, but she just wanted to
be included in his big decisions, especially ones that affected the
both of them. "But now I do."
Cordelia glanced down the
hall into the kitchen where Sandra was, standing by the island and
reading the paper. She looked completely comfortable and settled in a
kitchen that wasn't hers. For a moment, Cordelia's hands clenched
into fists. Maybe it was her territorial side or perhaps she was just
jealous, but she hated seeing a woman that wasn't her or her own
mother looking like she belonged in their home.
Shaking
herself out of it and placing her hands on her hips, Cordelia bit her
bottom lip, hesitating for a moment. Finally, she rolled her eyes,
looked away from her father and shrugged. "It's your life. I
guess I just didn't like being left out."
Will nodded,
reaching an agreement with his daughter for the moment. He looked at
her hard for a minute before she finally looked right back at him, a
small grin passing over his face. "How 'bout dinner? I know
you're hungry."
No thanks. I had a snickers bar on the
bus and I don't want to overeat. Cordelia wished she could just
be the bitch for the night and go up to her room, but to keep things
civil with her father, she shrugged her shoulders and half-heartedly
nodded. "Sure. Why not."
When she sluggishly followed
behind her father, letting her limbs hang low, Will Chase grabbed his
daughter's arm and made her walk faster, giving her a look that
clearly said: Behave.
Sandra looked up from the paper before
they even entered the kitchen or made a sound, plastering a big smile
on her face. She tucked a few strands of her dark hair behind her
ears and took on the role of the innocent lady trying to make a good
impression.
Cordelia rolled her eyes, and not for the last
time.
"Your father and I made spaghetti."
"Spaghetti?
Wow, you really went all out."
Elbowing Cordelia slightly,
Will cleared his throat and smirked at Sandra. "Sandra made it,
really. She adds a 'special touch' to it."
Cordelia
half-rolled her eyes and gagged at the same time. "I'm sure she
does." Maybe she wasn't trying hard enough, but she sure as hell
wasn't coming close to even feigning politeness. The words were
coming out but the way they were coming off weren't in the kind of
tone that one would expect from a civilized, polite teenager.
Which
I'm not, so it all sort of balances out. Cordelia strained a
plainly bogus smile and offered to bring the bowl of lettuce to the
table, while all the while thinking to herself that she would have to
keep herself entertained for the evening. Just nod along and
pretend your listening. While that happens you'll play reruns of
F.R.I.E.N.D.S over and over in your head.
"You're kidding!" Willow gasped, shocked at what her
friend had just informed her of.
"I wish," Cordelia
grumbled, flipping channels on her TV as she lay flat on her stomach
on her bed, regretting even eating the spaghetti. She wanted it to
taste awful, to have another reason to not trust, to not accept that
woman. But it didn't. It tasted fantabulous. "They met at their
weekly AA meetings."
A moment of silence passed, but only
one and Willow cleared her throat, uncertainty in her voice. "AA
meetings? You never...said anything about..."
Cordelia shut
her eyes, cursing herself mentally for letting that slip. Willow was
her best friend and she still hadn't wanted to tell her that her
father had a drinking problem. It wasn't that she didn't trust
Willow; it was the fact that she didn't trust herself. Would she
even be able to open up emotionally about her father's persistent
drinking problems? It wasn't a topic she wanted to discuss, the
thoughts and reminders in her mind enough to handle already.
"I'm
sorry, Will. I just...I just didn't want to put the knowledge of it
on your shoulders. Already too damn hard to handle by myself."
"I
won't tell anyone, if that's what you want." Willow's voice
sounded squeakily on the other line, sincerity filling every word.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. But still, if you don't want
anyone to-"
"Thanks, Will."
"So..."
Cordelia
cleared her throat and returned to her 'rant' mode. "Anyways. I
was sitting at that dinner table, eating the food she cooked when she
decides to tell me how wonderful my father was and how beautiful our
house is. I love flattery, if given by the right person, but the lady
is just telling me what I already know!"
"Maybe she was
trying to-"
"Suck up? Exactly!"
"Well, I was
gonna say 'be polite' but yours is better. Was dinner
bad?"
Seeing that nothing was on, Cordelia turned off her TV
with a growl of frustration. "There was a lot of gagging, a lot of
inner-mocking. And I swear my eyes are killin' me from so much
eye-rolling."
Willow laughed over the phone. "I'm not
taking sides here, but maybe you should give her a chance. Unless
she's evil, I don't think she can be all that bad. You didn't
get any vamp vibes off of her, did you?"
"Nah, nothin'.
Didn't really think she was, either. She was too
tan."
"Fake-tan?
"Looked natural to me,"
Cordelia admitted, her voice seething. "Maybe it's bothering me
more than I thought it would. Maybe with this woman in my dad's
life...I guess it just opens my eyes to the fact that my parents
aren't getting back together."
"Yeah...I guess you can
say that. Sorry I can't really say anything to make you feel
better. My parents may be nonexistent, but they're doing it
together. Ew...I promise to never say 'doing it together' in
reference to my parents again."
Cordelia laughed, something
she wholeheartedly welcomed. There was nothing more uplifting then a
quick chat with Willow. "Day after tomorrow is the first day of
school..."
Willow didn't sound as disappointed. "With
school we can get distracted easier and with all that's going on in
your life and the lack of things happening in mine, we'll be much
better off."
"If you say so."
"Which I do. So
that makes it true, right?"
"Yup."
"Good,"
Willow sounded as confident as a mouse trying to steal from a large
cat. "I gotta go, it's getting late."
"Me too. 'Night,
Willow."
"Goodnight, Cordelia."
Swish-swashing the liquid inside her mouth, Cordelia winced
and nearly gagged at the horrible taste of the mouthwash she was
trying to clean her mouth with. She bent forward and spat the rest of
it into the sink, washing it down and feeling extremely relieved to
have it off her taste buds.
Taking a sip of water and wiping
her hands off, Cordelia looked at herself in the bathroom mirror for
a moment, wondering if her mind had any plans of replaying the damned
nightmare again in her dreams. She knew it would, as it relentlessly
did every night.
Sighing, she turned and left the bathroom,
absently throwing her hand along the wall and catching the light
switch, turning it off, in one motion. Walking down the hall and into
her bedroom, Cordelia pointedly avoided even glancing downstairs or
in her father's bedroom, tiptoeing to insure silence. There was no
chance in hell she would be having a long, emotional talk with her
father. Not when it was late and she was already in her pajamas,
ready to sleep and hopefully have serene dreams.
It was a
scary notion to think that she had no control over her dreams. No one
really ever sat down and ordered their brain to dream what they
wanted, but the thoughts were usually there, in someone's
subconscious. Their deepest desires or fears perhaps, which didn't
fit in with what Cordelia was seeing every night in the blanket of
darkness that surrounded her. She was afraid, but of what she didn't
know, which seemed just as frustratingly odd as everything else that
went on in her life.
Pushing the thoughts to the back of her
mind, she closed her door with a soft thud and turned to pounce on
her bed and bury herself in the familiar, warm comforters that she
had missed all summer.
Only when she turned around, she saw a
familiar, handsome face by her window. It was Angel, a slight
seriousness in his presence yet the contained giddiness at the sight
of her just below that broody surface of his. The intensity usually
found in his eyes was there too and brought a fluttering feeling to
Cordelia's stomach.
"Angel," Cordelia breathed, her
voice leaving her for a moment. The only discomfort in her entire
body was there because she was in just her pajamas, which were thin
and probably see-throughable by Angel's acute vision.
Three
months away from Angel had obviously affected her more than she had
thought it would; which was proven by the overwhelming wave of
happiness and relief she was drowning in at the sight of him.
But
he wasn't there to just say hi, to greet her and welcome her back
and she knew it by the look in his eyes. Usually he would
involuntarily abandon any sense of seriousness when around her,
becoming good company instead of the bearer of bad news. She saw that
seriousness in his eyes and her heart sunk.
"Hey," he
rasped, his voice husky. Angel's body moved an inch away from the
windowsill, maybe to hug her or to lessen the space between his body
and hers, but he caught himself and stood still. "How was the rest
of your summer?"
"Fine..." Cordelia allowed herself to
go along with whatever he was up to. Small talk wasn't her
specialty and she definitely didn't prefer it, but if Angel had
something important he was leading into, she was willing to wait a
minute or two longer. "Yours?"
"I'd say particularly
uneventful. I'm sure it was nothing compared to the fun you had in
Los Angeles," Angel shrugged naturally, his modesty slipping
through the cracks of his emotional defense. He always slipped up and
allowed a part of himself he never allowed anyone to see to come
forth with Cordelia. She accepted him for what he was and he
appreciated it. "Was it good to see your mom?"
Cordelia
nodded, inching towards him, but making it look as if she were moving
to her bed. She wanted nothing more than to run to him and hug him,
to have him hug her. Their last conversation didn't end so well but
she had gotten over it the next morning and had wanted to talk to him
again.
Willow and Xander were her closest friends but with
Angel it was different. He was her confidant, someone she could go to
and feel better within seconds of his hand touching hers. Sometimes
she didn't understand his intentions or her own feelings for him,
but the consistency of their relationship was enough. No matter how
tough things got they'd be there for each other.
"It
was...nice. Different but nice. I got used to a lot of things. Waking
up in a different bed, seeing my mom instead of my dad everyday. But
I really missed Sunnydale," Cordelia admitted, her voice still
quiet. "Surprised me a little how much I missed this
place."
"Maybe it wasn't Sunnydale that you missed.
Maybe it was just the people in Sunnydale that you wanted to see
again." Angel smirked wryly for a moment, noticing Cordelia's
approach. "How're Willow and Xander?"
"Willow's
doing great. They both were a little bored. Xander's doing fine
too. They're all just..."
"Moving on?" Angel dared to
say, his voice challenging as he cocked an eyebrow at
Cordelia.
Cordelia took the challenge and turned the tables,
running a hand through her hair and averting her attention from
Angel, just to further tease him. "I met a few new people too. A
couple of guys."
Angel's confidence wavered when he
couldn't quite pin down if she was teasing and lying or telling the
truth. A bit of envy seeped into his body but he remained as cool as
he could muster. "Really?"
"One in particular. Sweet
guy. Dark, curly hair and beautiful green eyes," Cordelia narrowed
her eyes, taking on a purposeful wistfulness in her tone, feigning a
longing for the guy she was making up. "Tall, handsome and he had
the biggest-"
"Alright, alright!" Angel gave in, lifting
his hands and waving them, begging her to stop. "I get
it."
Cordelia, smirking playfully, took another step
forward. "So...are you making a midnight visit just to see little
ol' me or is there another reason?"
Averting his eyes,
Angel cleared his throat. "Well..."
"I knew it. There
just had to be a reason."
"Hey!" Angel growled
defensively. "Don't think that I wouldn't come here for
no reason other than to see you. Because I was planning on doing it
anyways."
Cordelia held back a laugh at how defensive he
got. "Whoa, settle down tiger."
"Sorry..." Angel
immediately apologized, lowering his head for a moment and looking to
his lap where his hands played with one another. Finally, he pushed
his body away from the windowsill slowly, walking closer and closer
to Cordelia. When he stopped, he was so close that his breath coursed
over her skin, sending chills up her spine. His dark eyes looked into
hers for so long that he almost lost himself in the depths of her
gaze, only remembering where he was when finally he spoke. "My
other reason for coming tonight..."
When he started to move
Cordelia almost opened her mouth to protest, assuming he was moving
away from her, breaking the closeness they shared. Maybe she was in
some kind of trance, but she didn't want Angel or herself to move
away, she didn't want to be farther away from him then she already
was. She spent three months away from the sincerity of his voice, the
intensity of his eyes and the security of his strong, muscular
body...
Angel, instead of moving away, simply dug into his
jacket pocket, looking for something. Finally, he pulled a chain out.
At the end of the chain, much to Cordelia's shock was the cross he
had given her when they first met. "You had it in a jacket of yours
that you left at my place. Found it a week ago and have been wanting
to give it back."
Taking it from him, Cordelia gave a small
smile, still drowning in surprise at the shiny, silver cross. "Thank
you, Angel."
Angel looked down at her, a smile forming on
his face at the sight of happiness in her beautiful eyes. "You're
welcome."
Sunlight spilled across the empty
front lawn of Sunnydale High, bringing life to the seemingly barren
environment. All the students were inside for the first day back at
school. Except for Xander Harris and Buffy Summers.
Xander, on
his skateboard, cursed himself as he looked down at his watch. "Late
for the first day. Not good, Harris. Not good at all."
He
looked over his shoulder and made sure that Principal Snyder was no
where to be seen, or stupid Harry the rent-a-cop security guard with
a potbelly and pepper spray as protection instead of a gun. The last
thing Xander wanted was to be caught trying to sneak into school
after sleeping through his alarm clock.
Though by looking over
his shoulder he wasn't looking where he was going and only when he
knocked right into Buffy Summers did he realize there was someone
else he didn't want to see. She was caught off guard and
misconstrued his action as if he were assaulting her, grabbing his
wrist awfully hard in response.
But when she saw it was
Xander, she stopped her muscles from moving, from tossing the
teenager through the air. He was annoying, sure, but she wasn't
going to be throwing him through the air because of it. "Jeez,
what's your childhood trauma? Can't walk to school anymore so you
have to ride a stupid skateboard?"
Xander struggled to
respond, trying to pull his hand away from her death-grip. "Not my
fault you take up the whole sidewalk, Princess."
Buffy,
ignoring the fact that her nails were digging into his skin and her
hand was gripping his wrist so hard his hand was turning purple,
rolled her eyes. "I'm already late thanks to the wonderful
invention of the alarm clock, which some annoying geek like you
probably thought up to annoy me even more!"
"Look, I'm
late too. Why don't we make peace till lunch and then you
can chop off my hand for all I care," Xander growled at her,
loosing his cool as he continued to try and slip his hand from her
unending grip. He eyed her then nodded his head expectantly towards
his helpless, almost violet hand.
Buffy's eyes widened for a
moment before she collected herself, letting go of him and shoving
her hand in her back pocket, far away from Xander. Crap!
"Thanks..."
Xander spat, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Look, if you wanna
make some guy handless why don't you go do it to one of your
boyfriends. I'm sure it'd make quite a statement if the
quarterback didn't have a hand to catch all those touchdown-winning
balls with."
Buffy scoffed, looking at him as if he were
covered in dog crap. "Go choke on your own ego."
Without
another word, she turned in a huff and hurriedly moved up the stairs
towards the school, not once slowing down or looking back at
Xander.
Xander however didn't start to go inside the school
right away, the pain in his wrist catching his full attention.
Looking down at his wrist he gulped. As if he'd been given an
Indian burn, his entire wrist was reddened with pain in the shape of
a small hand. Buffy Summers wasn't exactly some weak girl, but the
throbbing pain in his wrist couldn't possibly have been inflicted
upon him by her. "How-?"
Buffy cursed under
her breath, looking again at her watch. All I needed to do was go
to school, get through the day and go to the cheerleading tryouts
after school. I couldn't even do that.
Running a hand
through her hair, she paused and sighed, looking up the stairs then
down the hallway to her right. She knew the school inside out yet at
the moment she couldn't tell up from down, left from right.
Her
hands were shaking and her eyes hurt, the images from her dream
flashing before them. That was what scared her the most. She would
wake up most of the time and not remember her dreams, but now, as the
images flashed before her eyes, she connected the dots and it all
started to flood back.
Grabbing at the handrail on the stairs,
Buffy leaned forward, her head becoming too heavy to
support.
Sitting down, she buried her face in her hands and
tried to clear her mind. "Gah!" Doubt flooded her when her
thoughts reminded her of the early tryouts for cheerleading. Maybe
I shouldn't do it this year. Whatever's going on with me is too
freaky. I can wait a few weeks and try out then, when all the little
sophomores are doing it.
Even when she thought it to
herself it sounded stupid, unreasonable and impossible to do. She'd
be ridiculed the entire year for having to try out with the
sophomores when she, Queen B of the Buffettes, was a superior
Junior.
So, she decided, as she stood up while taking in a
deep breath, she wasn't going to let it affect her as much as she
had allowed it to all through the summer. Getting her bearings, she
turned and walked down the hallway towards class, hoping to return to
at least a little bit of normalcy.
Giles walked
out of his office, muttering the words that he was reading from the
book in his hand. Without even looking up he lifted his hand and
motioned for Cordelia to stop sitting on the counter. "Although I
am grateful to be considered the 'cool' adult in your eyes, I
have to draw a line. Sit in a chair like any civilized human
being."
Pulling out her lollipop, Cordelia grinned. "Good
to see you too, Giles."
His boyishly blue eyes flashing up
at her, Giles allowed a small smirk to pass over his face. "How was
your summer?"
Cordelia shrugged. "Uneventful. And about
the cool thing...not to bust your bubble but have you seen the
other adults in this world?"
"Point taken," Giles closed
his book with a small laugh. "I admit it is good to see you."
They
both shared a moment of silence before Cordelia opened her mouth once
again. "There actually might be someone at this school that would
be willing to beat you down for that cool trophy."
"And to
whom are you referring?" Giles asked, hardly concerned.
"Miss
Calendar," Cordelia cocked her eyebrow suggestively at Giles. "But
I'm sure you already knew that."
"You're
unbelievable."
Cordelia faked a pout, "But in an adorable
way, right?"
"In an unbelievably odd, confusing way
actually." Giles removed his glasses and wiped them with
handkerchief. "Now, since you've crossed the line of being a
naïve teenager to a meddling child I'm going to take my turn.
Tell me the truth about your summer."
"I did tell the
truth," Cordelia lied; averting her eyes and trying to focus all
willpower on making sure she sounded convincing. But one glance at
Giles, who was staring her down with a knowing glint in his eyes, and
she broke. "Alright, alright! Jeez, if looks could kill..."
Giles
didn't say anything, instead choosing to continue looking at her
expectantly, waiting for her to give her the answer he knew she
had.
"I wrote down in my little notebook the things I could
remember seeing," Cordelia walked over to her bag, opening it and
shoving her hand inside, searching for the book. Pulling it out, she
tossed it at Giles, who looked incredible dorky trying to catch it.
"But like I told you before I left, there were some things that
were a little blurry."
Giles nodded, not even bothering to
open it. "I'll look through it when you're in your next class.
Which is?"
"English." Cordelia said, her voice not
without distaste. She opened her mouth to continue the conversation,
to ask him a favor or to make some witty remark that she knew would
get on Giles' nerves, but she stopped when the doors opened and in
walked Xander. "Hey."
"Hey," Xander scratched the back
of his head. "I made a fool of myself by freaking out over sleeping
in and racing to get here. Then I remembered when I get to the office
that I have free period."
"Ah," Cordelia held back a
laugh. "So your first day is going well?"
Xander rolled
his eyes, "That wasn't the end of it. You'd think Buffy would
prefer to have some hunky man build her a bridge so she wouldn't
have to walk where all the 'common folk' walk."
"What
happened?"
"She got mad at me when I ran into her with my
skateboard." Xander looked at Cordelia, waiting for her to agree
with him that the blonde bitch overreacted. But he didn't get what
he wanted.
"Look, I'd get pissed if you did that to me
too. Maybe not as much as Buffy but that's only because she has too
many gold coins and tiaras shoved up her ass."
Giles shook
his head, "I don't get teenagers. Xander, running into her was
rude and it probably injured her in some way. How did you expect her
to react?"
"Look, I'm not stupid. I know better than
anyone to not expect an ounce of civility from that girl, but the
least she could do was not injure my writing hand. Now I can't even
pretend to be writing notes in class."
He held out his arm
to show both Cordelia and Giles. In replacement of the redness that
was there right after Buffy ran off, a large hand-shaped bruise was
forming in disgusting vividness.
Stay awake,
Buffy thought over and over. Five more minutes. Stay awake for
five more minutes.
She didn't even know what the teacher
was talking about. Maybe it was interesting, she mused to herself,
considering the possibility that he was one of those teachers who
compared tedious literature with Cosmo.
Edward Thomas,
the new English teacher, wasn't the cutest guy in the world but he
wasn't in the league of uglies like Mister Robins the biology
teacher. Buffy just didn't have the willpower to force herself to
even try and listen to what he was discussing. If he had been cuter,
she might have found strength to, but not so sadly, he was not.
And
the constant whispering of Cordelia behind her? Either she stops
or I make her. The tightening of her fingers into a fist was
involuntary but not the first thing on her mind however. Her other
hand gripped the desk till it splintered, cracking loudly and
catching the attention of every last person in the room.
"Miss..."
Edward pulled out his sheet with a drawing of the classroom and
perused it till he found the seat Buffy was in. "Summers. Is there
something wrong?"
"Um..." Buffy perked up, releasing her
hand from the desk, shaking the splinters from her skin. "Yeah.
Just...your uh, teaching was so..."
The man with long hair
reaching below his ears and a hint of a goatee growing across his
features lifted his free hand and laughed modestly. "Don't
bother. Nurse?"
"Huh?"
Ed Thomas did well in
keeping his patience in check for a student who interrupted his class
whilst also damaging school property. "Do you need to see the
nurse?"
Buffy shook her self out of her trance long enough
to focus her eyes and look down at her hand, which was bleeding from
several spots because of the damned slivers from the desk. She could
feel Cordelia's breath on her neck, knowing the annoying brunette
was peering over, trying to get a better look at what happened.
Holding back a growl, Buffy tried to collect herself. "Sure...I
guess I should. Don't want to spread that hepatitis now do
I?"
Grabbing her bag, Buffy slipped out of her seat and
walked out of the classroom, holding her head up high but avoiding
any contact at the same time.
Moments after the door closed
behind her the bell rung and she groaned. Leaving that room brought a
small sense of relief deep down and she hardly had the time to even
acknowledge it before people surrounded her again.
Then she
froze. What's my problem? Are fumes leaking into my bedroom or
what? I love being around people, even when I hate most of them. Why
do I want to be alone? I'm not a geek, why should I not like
socializing?
A thousand other questions flooded her mind
and even as she stood still the world around her kept spinning,
moving and shape shifting into different surroundings. One second she
was on some secluded beach with nothing but a beach towel, sun block
and the image of Brad Pitt plastered in the sky.
Next she was
in a dark room with only firelight as a source of her seeing
anything. Monsters surrounded her, ones with gray, rough skin and
ugly clothing. She wasn't afraid, only because of the lasting
feeling that in a moment or two she'd return to the
beach.
Unfortunately a hand grabbing her shoulder shook her
out of it and when Buffy turned to see who it was she didn't bother
to repress a groan of displeasure. "What do you want?"
Cordelia
looked at her as if she had said something even worse and Buffy
rolled her eyes, giving in and speaking with a mock-polite voice. "I
mean...do you need something?"
The girl before her wasn't
like the Buffy Summers Cordelia had gotten used to. Not that she knew
her all that well but the difference between the one she was
confronting and the one she had been surprised to see driving through
the walls of Sunnydale high was undeniable.
Buffy looked
irritable, out of place and like all she wanted was to not be
around brainless jocks and superficial cheerleaders. Which was
surprising enough since she only dated jocks and only associated
herself with those annoying cheerleaders.
"I talked to
Xander," Cordelia began the conversation, getting right to the
issue at hand. "From what I saw, you've got a grip on you like no
other."
Scoffing, Buffy turned and started to walk away from
Cordelia, speaking to her over her shoulder. "It's really sad
that you have so much free time that you have to go harass people who
hurt your itty bitty boyfriend."
Cordelia followed closely
behind her, actually having to jog just to catch up to the unusually
fast-walking Buffy. "He's not my boyfriend."
"That's
right. Forgot that you have dibs on Angel."
Having had
enough, Cordelia grabbed Buffy's arm, roughly pulling her around so
that they were face to face.
Buffy responded just as roughly
by pushing herself away from Cordelia, releasing her own arm from her
grip. "Look, I have a nurse to go to. Call me shallow if you like
but I don't want to walk around school leaving a trail of blood. If
I did then you would be able to find me. Which I do not
want."
An edge in her voice indicated that Buffy was past
the line of controlling herself, her hand itching to impact with
Cordelia's cheekbone if she touched her again. The anger she had
inside was stemming from nowhere. Or maybe it wasn't. Buffy didn't
have the time to ponder what underlying emotions were affecting her
lack of patience. And she didn't have time for Cordelia Chase.
And
Cordelia wasn't going to mess with her for the moment when she
caught sight of the glint in Buffy's emerald eyes and angry
thoughts that weren't hers flashed through her mind. When Buffy
turned to go she didn't stop her either, thinking it better to talk
to Buffy about whatever was going on later, perhaps when she calmed
down.
Xander grumbled to himself, opening his
Spanish book with an extravagant gesture, as if it took every last
bit of strength to jump into his homework. "You'd think Ms.
Sanchez wouldn't assign homework on the first day. There'll be a
lot of Spanish verbs spoken so leave now if you don't want to hear
me try and figure out what I'm saying."
Rolling her eyes,
Willow tucked a stray hair behind her ears and looked up from her own
Spanish textbook to where Xander was lying on the counter.
The
library was empty with the exception of them and Giles, who was in
his own little office in the corner of the library. Cordelia was
bound to arrive soon and they were waiting for her to start the
studying.
"Was it just me or did Cordelia seem a little
distant in Spanish earlier?" Xander asked, avoiding Willow's
stare. He didn't want to admit his other intentions of bringing
Cordelia up. She'd been distracted in class and hadn't responded
to his slight flirting. He wasn't going to fully advance on her
until he knew that she had some sort of attraction to him. But he
didn't so he wouldn't.
"She seemed fine." Willow bit
the end of her pencil for a moment, thinking. "You can't blame
her after what happened. She might be a little distant but that's
normal, I guess."
Giles exited his office, suspiring a long
breath. "Sarcasm has replaced her ability to delve into any
emotional topic that involves herself."
"Cordelia was
always sarcastic," Willow muttered quietly, glancing up at Giles
and taking a guess at what might've occurred. "Did she hit a
nerve or something?"
"No!" Giles defended himself too
quickly, pushing Xander off the counter swiftly with his hand. "I
was merely stating what I had noticed."
Rubbing the dirt off
of his jacket, Xander stood up, trying to hold onto some sense of
cool instead of looking like an idiot. "She doesn't really talk
about it. At least she hasn't yet."
"Talk about what?"
came Cordelia's voice right after Xander's as she entered through
one of the doors. A soft reckoning in her deep brown eyes caught
Xander off guard.
Stuttering to respond for several seconds,
Xander shoved his hands in his pockets and shuffled his feet. Giles
rolled his eyes at the sight of him.
"Did you speak with
Buffy?" the Englishman got right to the point, though a tinge of
guilt fluttered in his stomach. He'd grown quite fond of Cordelia
and after three months away the first thing he did was question her
honesty and whether her dreams kept occurring. He felt as if he'd
betrayed her by not showing he cared a little more. But Cordelia
didn't seem to mind, there was no sense of hostility against him
when she spoke.
Throwing her bag atop the counter and seating
herself on one of the many uncomfortable stools, Cordelia could
barely manage to shrug at the subject. "Something's up."
Images
of Buffy, jaw clenched and hands just itching to form into fists,
flashed before her eyes for a split-second before she shook herself
out of it. Cordelia didn't want to waste her energy worrying over
that girl, or worrying herself over the disturbing connection she had
felt, if only for a few moments.
On the other side of the
counter Giles eyed her until she continued speaking,
elaborating.
"Look, I'm not going to sit here and act like
I really care about Buffy. She hasn't given me a reason to really
like her, so why should I care if she's starting to get
abusive?"
"You're being selfish." Giles placed his
hands on his hips and looked at her disbelievingly. "What if she's
in danger?"
"Or possessed," Xander put in, casually
sitting on the stool right next to Cordelia. When he received odd
looks from both Giles and Cordelia, he took on an innocent, wide-eyed
expression. "What? I wouldn't put it past her to get herself in
some sort of situation like that. She brainwashes those girls who
follow her around so it wouldn't be that surprising if she got a
taste of her own medicine."
Giles ran a hand over his face,
actually letting out a low rumble from deep within his chest. Xander
was right, no matter how stupid his explanation was. And Xander being
right about something was a surefire sign of a nearing
apocalypse.
"I agree. I say we quarantine her," Cordelia
jumped at the prospect of Buffy being locked in a cage, and by the
look in Xander's eyes and his jumping up beside her, he felt the
same way.
Willow didn't even bother to get involved in the
mess, catching sight of Giles looking at the pair with shock.
"What
is your problem with Buffy?"
"Nothing!" Cordelia said in
a slightly reassuring tone, convincing Xander but not Giles. There
was a slight waver in her voice and her eyes averted for a moment
when she spoke, which Giles had come to know as an indication that
she was holding something back. She saw it register in his eyes and
growled to herself for allowing her lie to slip through. "Earlier
when I tried to talk to her. She...she threatened me."
"Buffy
threatened you?" Willow asked, finally speaking, looking up from
her book and joining the conversation.
Xander laughed, shaking
his head. "Heh. Girl's got more nerve to mess with you than I
figured. Unless she forgot about you being a Slayer, which, again, I
wouldn't put past her."
"And it pissed me off too,"
Cordelia said, her voice a low rumble. "But..."
"But
what?"
Looking as if she didn't want to admit it to
herself, Cordelia looked at Xander, then Willow, before locking
stares with Giles again. "I had the strange feeling that she could
go through with it. Some part of me could feel what she was feeling.
I could hear her thoughts in my head for a moment. Maybe I was
imagining it but...there's something different about her."
Taut muscles and ultimate concentration. Buffy Summers
popped her knuckles and focused on the task at hand: to be unbeatably
peppy and cheerful with an unending, toothy smile and for her arms to
lead her to the coveted co-captain of the Cheerleading squad.
Brace,
kneel and lift. Get a good grip, hold on and don't drop the cargo.
Repeating the thoughts over and over in her head, Buffy glanced
around the school gym, a chill rising up her spine that forced her to
consider that something was going to go wrong. But she buried those
negative thoughts and took on the role of peppy, happy Buffy who was
going to win her spot on the cheerleading team. She was going to be
more popular and powerful than ever and go back to that tolerable
life she had before all the weird things started happening to
her.
"Do you understand what you have to do?" Missy Adams
chirped in her false-cheery, high-pitched voice, sending an annoying
spurt of pain through Buffy's brain, distracting her for a second
before she caught onto control of her entire body.
Straightening
her posture, clearing her mind except for the directions of what to
do, Buffy nodded, plastering that cheery smile on her young features.
Sounds of doors opening off to the side caught her attention and she
glanced once, twice, three times in the direction, first in curiosity
and two times more out of disgusting disbelief. Cordelia Chase,
Willow Rosenberg and Xander Harris were standing in the doorway,
watching her cautiously.
"Great. Another intervention..."
Buffy grumbled, backing up and walking behind Sarah Waters, the
cheerleader she was supposed to lift and hold in the air with only
her hands for five seconds. All she had to do was that, the last
objective in the tryouts and she was in.
Screw normalcy.
Screw asking for help. I don't need help. Living alone deep
inside, a shell of a human being to the core while walking around
with the mask of a popular, rich and happy teenager who ruled the
high school she attended was enough for her the past year, and the
ones in junior high. Why break the routine?
"One!"
She called out, kneeling down in sync with her voice, her hands
wrapping around the soles of Sarah's shoes. Don't drop her.
Just don't screw it up. "Two!" She locked her legs, saving
her strength to endure Sarah's weight for enough time and tightened
her grip around the white tennis shoes. Here we go! Give it your
all, Summers.
"Three!" she lifted her up with all her
strength, which was a big mistake. Instead of shifting her hands to
have her palms under the soles of Sarah's shoes, Buffy didn't
have anything to hold. The sound of a high-pitched screaming created
a sinking feeling in her stomach. Looking up as the world started to
move in slow motion she saw Sarah flying into the air. So high that
she nearly reached the high ceiling.
Out of instinct, the girl
grabbed the nearest thing she could, the scoreboard. Everyone that
had been watching in the stands was tripping over themselves to get
closer, to get a better look. But Missy stayed put, a roll of her
eyes and the look that said: Great. A distraction.
Poor Sarah
was starting to slip and grabbed the 1997 State Champs Basketball
Team pennant and let go of the scoreboard. A stupid move on her
part. She wasn't a fat girl but her weight was hardly supportable
by the flimsy banner and it ripped off the wall, causing her to swing
directly into a wall.
As everyone rushed to help her, Buffy
looked down at her hands in disgust. She was wrong yet again. No
going back. Something was seriously wrong and she couldn't even
return to her normal routine because of it.
Much to her
dissatisfaction, the first thing Buffy saw when she looked up was
Cordelia, Willow and Xander walking closer and closer.
Her
secret was no longer hers.
TBC...
