Disclaimer: all of these characters belong to either Eoin Colfer or JK Rowling.

Harry Potter sat silently by himself wishing that he were anywhere other than the Dursleys. Anywhere, that is, except for the bad places that he didn't want to be. He had sent letters to his friends Hermione and Ron, which had been answered, but still that was hardly enough entertainment for a whole summer. Slouching on to his bed, he stared up at the ceiling. "I wish something would happen." He said to himself. After all, nothing had happened at the Dursley's for a long time, other then the fact that Dudley had lost two pounds and Harry's aunt, Petunia had started to be snoopier than usual.

Harry suddenly stood up. What was that noise? There were voices coming from outside of his window. He supposed that it was just the neighbors, or the mail man. But because he was so bored he decided to check, just incase it was somebody magical.

"Of course I'm positive. This is the place, I assure you." said a boy, around Harry's age. The youth was just as pale, if not paler, than Draco Malfoy, and his hair was dark which gave him the appearance of a vampire. Harry was sure that the boy was crazy, for he was talking to the air next to his head, as if there was something invisible hovering there. Harry was reminded of the time when he had snuck into Hogsmeade wearing his invisibility cloak. Hermione and Ron must've appeared the same way as this kid. A thought struck Harry. It was possible that there was somebody under an invisibility cloak standing down there. He could check. Maybe he could just pass by and say something like "Muggle." That was the word Wizards used for non-magical people. It would be worth it, even if the person took it as an insult and pounded Harry to a pulp. He was very desperate for news from Hogwarts. He quickly stepped out of his room and ran down the stairs and out the door. He'd better hurry if he wanted to talk to the weird boy. But Harry need not have worried, for the Vampire boy was still standing there, although he'd stopped talking to himself. Harry casually walked by and acted as if he were just muttering some jibberish to himself. When he approached the boy he said "Muggles!" And kept on walking.

"ahem." Said the Vampire kid when Harry had walked about 20 feet passed him. Harry jumped around.

"A word please if you don't mind mr-"

"Potter, I'm Harry Potter." Said Harry eagerly holding out his hand. The boy accepted although he did make a slightly disturbed noise when he saw Harry's nails.

"I thought as much." He said. "Pleased to meet you Mr. Potter. My name is Artemis Fowl. I'd like to talk with you about the school that you go to, that is if you know what I'm talking about." Artemis said.

"Oh yes!" said Harry almost bouncing with excitement. "You mean Hogwarts, the magical secret school that only us wizards know about...right?"

Artemis chuckled to himself. It had been easier then he'd thought it would be. The boy...that is, Harry, Had blurted out a very big secret in the magical world. In fact, a few very big secrets and the most impressive thing is that he had done it all in one sentence.

"Yes Mr. Potter, the one only us wizards know about. Now if you'd like to join me in here-"He pointed to his very long limo.

"Sure! Who's under the invisibility cloak?!?" Harry blurted out.

"Fowl!" Came a voice above Harry's head. "You said he wouldn't notice!" Suddenly a faerie...or something appeared next to Harry's shoulder.

"No need to be worried Holly." Said Artemis, in a superior to Harry sort of tone that Harry was used to. "This is who we came for. I've secured the Limo so that he will not be able to escape, and if he does.." Artemis gave Holly a look and she gave it back, showing that they understood one another.

Harry, despite what he'd just heard, stepped calmly into the limo and sunk into one of the cushy seats. It was a lot better than riding his broom or taking the night bus.

"Hold on," Said Harry. "I'd really like to get my stuff before we go to Hogwarts. Gee, I've never been at Hogwarts during the summer, I bet it's really weird."

"Just what makes you think that we are going to Hogwarts? You, are coming with me to the Fowl mansion in Ireland, although you can hardly expect me to tell you where exactly." Artemis said evilly. To his surprise, Harry paid no attention to the evilness.

"I hear ya." He said. "Me, I'm always losing my way when I try to get back to the Gryffindor common room after classes...and breakfast...and lunch...oh! And dinner."

Artemis scowled. This Potter fellow was proving to be more trouble than he was worth.

"I meant, that in the case that I were to tell you where this manner is, then I would not want YOU to tell anybody else. It is a great secret. Even so, I am not the type that would lose my way while trying to get there. I after all, have the highest IQ in Europe and probably in the world." Artemis waited for his statement to sink in.

"Uh huh," said Harry, taking a sip of the scotch he'd found in the mini bar of the Limo. He spit it out immediately. "What is this stuff!?!" he asked choking on the taste it had left in his mouth. Artemis sighed.

"Artemis?" asked Holly who was sitting next to him. "Why are you doing this? Isn't it just as bad as kidnapping me? I thought that you had stopped these evil schemes. What if something happens to butler again? I don't have enough magic at the moment to heal him."

"Don't worry, Butler's only going to drive us. Juliet has offered to help, since her wrestling auditions haven't been going so well. Holly?" Asked Artemis. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "You offered to help me, don't forget it. This plan could stop the undercover war going on between the Wizards and the People. I'll need all the help I can get, especially with him." By Him, Artemis had meant Harry.

"Artemis!?" asked Harry, he was a bit suspicious of this kid, and out of his excitement he'd barely taken in a word of anything he'd said. He could only assume that The Fowl mansion was code for a secret wizarding village or school perhaps, but the whispering between him and the house elf was really annoying him.

"What is it now?" asked Artemis. His voice sounded annoyed, although his face stayed as straight and emotionless as ever.

"It's just that you and your house elf are doing an awful lot of whispering. I'd like to know just what is going on. And, if you will let me get my stuff NOW!"

"Potter, your 'stuff' will be arriving at Fowl manner. Please calm down. I will explain, if you wish, seeing as how you have not caught on yet." Artemis said smoothly. Harry thought this over. To him it seemed that this Fowl guy and his super elf side kick were kidnapping him, but a mansion still sounded better than the Dursleys.

"Ok, but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what you're doing."

"Really?" asked Artemis, although he looked dubious. "At any rate, I'm not going to waste the precious time we have on your absurd deductions."

Harry remained silent. He wondered for a brief second whether Artemis Fowl was a death eater, but that was definitely an absurd idea. After all, what harm could this 13 or 14 year old Irish kid do? "Yeah?" Harry went on, not to be intimidated by this minor, "Yeah, I bet you think you're pretty smart."

"highest I.Q. in-"

"Europe, yeah yeah," Harry muttered, "But you don't know Hermione Granger, she's pretty smart!"

"How smart?" Artemis asked, he would've been grinning except that he was above such show off nonsense. "Can you prove your claim? Has she taken an I.Q. test?"

"er.." Harry grumbled, he could feel himself getting angry with this Artemis character, plus he was getting the vague feeling that the new wizard was up to no good. He tried to think of what his friends Hermione and Ron would say.

Hermione would say something like "Are you a complete idiot? You know that the dark lord is after you and you just let yourself be kidnapped by a complete stranger whose smarter than me?"

Ron would say something like "Are you a complete idiot? You know that the-"

"Yeah yeah!" Harry shouted making Artemis jump.

"Yeah what?" Artemis asked in confusion, he didn't appreciate bad grammar in his limo and he certainly did not like shouting...on the other hand, bad grammar was what made so many in the world below him, and this made him chuckle which made Holly jump.

"They're all geeks," Holly muttered, noting the grammar giggler and the messy haired four eyes.

Harry could not think of why this git was laughing...or to give it a better description, giggling. He felt the anger growing inside of him. He reached for the nearest bottle and took a swig. This was accidental and, as it turned out, a big mistake.

"Water!" he gasped. "WATER!" his face turned bright red and he began to sweat. Artemis watched with amusement. Harry Potter had given him quite a few laughs for only being with them for five minutes. Maybe he wouldn't mind having Mr. Potter around as much as he'd first suspected. After a minute or so of watching Harry roll around on the car floor, his face the color of commander Root's, Artemis gave him some water. Only tap water though, because Artemis was saving the good Irish spring water for himself.

"What was that?" asked Harry after he'd taken three huge gulps of water. "Fire whiskey or something?!?"

"Actually Mr. Potter, It is the regular type. It is quite surprising that it had that affect on you, seeing as how this brand is mostly water."

"Hmph!" said Harry, slouching back into his seat. "Let me out!"

"I'm afraid that that would be impossible. The doors of this limo are all locked. To escape you would have to enter quite a complex code and pass the voice activated-"

"Aloha mora." Said Harry taking out his wand. The door unlocked immediately, and Harry opened it to find-

"AHHHHHHH!!!" He hadn't even realized that the car was moving. How come they couldn't feel it inside the car. He looked to Artemis for some explanation but Artemis was staring dumbfounded in the seat opposite him.

"Artemis?" asked Holly. "Artemis, are you okay?"