TITLE: The Fixer- Book One: Binding the Soul
AUTHOR: Danielle
E-MAIL: eternally218yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: All Joss Whedon's
SUMMARY: What if the PTB were so fid up with Angel and Buffy that they had to send someone to fix everything that they messed up. This is only the begging it gets better as you go along and more interesting. DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who already has my stuff can take it and if you want just ask me I promise not to say no.
TIMELINE: S4 and S7 Buffy and Faith are the only slayers, no Lorne, they beet Jasmine and the First, they don't own Wolfram and Hart and Connor is still Connor the insane but he gets good in this story. And is so over Cordelia and Anya is dead. Spike is also alive. FEEDBACK: Please, I would really like to now what you guys thought.
AN: I saw the Notebook which really helped write this chapter, but really people see it, it's amazing. It sort of reminded me of In the Past, In the Future.
AN: Thanks from feedback from: sobad97, Timeree, Krystal, Lindsay, Kat, Cristina, Jennifer
The Fixer- Book One: Binding the Soul
Chapter Three: It's the Tale of Two Star Crossed Lovers
Angel was sitting in his bed looking at the ceiling when his door suddenly slammed open. He looked up and stared blankly at Aashna as she went over to the small radio he had on his desk. She turned it on and music that should be blaring lightly was blaring very loudly.
"What time is it?" Angel asked annoyed.
"Not that you were sleeping anyways 'cause you were probably brooding, which you know is a no no with me but," she looked at the clock on wall, "it's five thirty and what happened to vampires sleeping in the day, last time I checked that's what they do." She said waving her hand.
"Okay..." Angel said slowly. "Are you going to tell me why you are in my room?"
She was looking around his room and then looked at him pointing her eyes, "Yup." And she fell beside him on the bed.
Angel rolled his eyes at her and turned to face her. He looked at her. It had been three years since he had last seen her. And she grew. And had become exactly how he always saw her to be. How he saw her in his nightmares.
"I meet Connor."
He snapped back from his brooding and looked at her, she seemed calm, and "I thought you would be mad if you met him."
"Why should I be mad?" She said quietly.
"'Cause of Darla and-"
"Angel." She said quietly. He looked at her eyes, those powerfully painful eyes, "I don't care. I'm not her, but then you're you and not Angelus. So I guess it wouldn't matter, would it?" She said simply.
"It still probably hurts," Angel said quietly.
She looked at him for a moment, before saying. "Probably should turn off that stereo. I mean really, Angel, you shouldn't have something so loud on in the early part of the morning." She said grinning from ear to ear.
He rolled his eyes and got up and turned the radio off. He looked at her. "You happy now?"
She laughed at him. "With you? Never," she said.
He smirked at her, "Nice to know."
She shook her head and then suddenly became serious, "I think we need to talk."
He knew this was coming and sat down by her. He looked at her and waited for her to start talking. When she didn't he said," About what?"
"Don't act dumb. Tell me why." She said firmly.
He looked away.
"Okay, Angel it is me. Just me. No one is here. No one is judging you. It's me and you. No Cordelia, no Wesley, no... Buffy is here to annoy you about what you say. Mostly saying you don't have certain people whose name I shall not say but it ends with Delia to annoy you about what you say. "
He looked at the ceiling and fell to the bed next to her. "In May it was exactly five years ago."
"Tell me why, how and why again." She said looking at him.
"I couldn't look at her without wanting her. Wait you know about the curse?" He said through arrow eyes.
"Yeah."
"How? I didn't know about it back then?" he said confused.
"I just know. Anyways keep talking."
He looked at her for a moment and then, "I was scared one day I would just lose it. I mean really lose it. Like I would just go insane with the need to be with her. I just wanted her, needed her. And every time I was near her I just, my soul would be inches away from leaving. I had to fight to keep it in my body. I could fight it, if it wasn't to strong." He said trying to explain himself. He felt tears well up.
"You can, you know," she said stroking his cheek and she felt his eyes give and felt the tears coming down and it occurred to both her and Angel that he had never cried over losing Buffy. Not one single tear. And it was all coming down at that moment.
She pulled him in her arms and stroked his back like a baby, or a little boy in need. And he was sobbing now. And she thought she never heard him sob before. She pulled him more tightly against her and he cried into her stomach. And kept saying nonsense. Maybe he just figured it out, she thought to herself. Maybe he just noticed that she wasn't his anymore, that's why he would never cry.
"Angel," she said looking at him. He wiped his tears with his hand and looked away. "Angel." She said again.
"I made her cry. She begged me to stay. And I almost did. I saw her cry. I promised myself I wouldn't make her cry again and I did." Now he is just going insane, Aashna thought to herself. "Did you know whenever she cried it was because of me. I never wanted her to cry. And she did. And it was always me, and I never knew what to do. I just wanted her to be happy." And now the tears were coming again. She pulled him towards her but he wouldn't come.
"Do you think you did the right thing?" she said quietly.
"I knew if I spent one more day with her I wouldn't have my soul and she would have to kill me again. I wouldn't let her go through that. Ever again. And she cried. And then there was this thing called the Prom..."
"You broke up with her before the Prom?!" she shrieked.
He looked at her with such pain in his eyes and once again tears came down his eyes. He sort of looks like a girl, Aashna thought to herself. He was staring blankly into the ceiling again. She sat up and looked at him. She stroked his hair and he looked at her with such need and helplessness. But she needed to know the story so she could help him. And as much pain as she was making him go through she knew she had to get him to talk to her.
"You never answered my question." She said.
"What question?"
"Do you think you did the right thing?" she repeated.
He looked at Aashna. And then back at the ceiling. "I always thought it was what she needed. So she could have a family. So she could go into the sunlight with her boyfriend. I never once thought it would be good for me. I thought I would end up like was in New York. A stupid vampire with no life," before she could say anything he said, "Yes, I did have you but it was different and you know that."
"So... what does this have to do with my question?"
"I thought of going to New York but figured if Whistler found out he would kill me for leaving her, so I went to LA instead. I meet this demon, I his name was Doyle, he was real nice."
Angel didn't see her roll his eyes at his statement. "And protective." She mumbled.
"What?"
"Oh nothing anyways..." slapping herself at her mistake.
"Buffy was still everything I thought about. I would save people and come home and think about her all day. And I thought one more day till redemption, one more day till Buffy. And I wanted her so bad. But when Faith got out of her coma, I was helping her and she told me of Buffy's old boyfriend-"
"Who's Faith and old boyfriend?"
"Faith is a slayer that went mad for a few months and Riley is Buffy's old boyfriend."
"Riley, what kind of name is Riley, isn't that a girl's name." Aashna said shaking her head. "Maybe she has a thing."
"What thing?"
"With boyfriends with guy names," she said bluntly.
Angel glared at her and hit her over the head. "Ow!" she said and hit his head. He was about to hit her again when she raised her hands, "Wait! Were not done. When we are done then, and only then, can you hit me. Okay, okay, so you were saying."
"But when Faith told me about the all American Cowboy it sort of occurred to me I told Buffy to move on with her life, and I never did. So I guess somewhat, though Buffy is my number one thing for living there is other things to live for. Like getting redemption but real without her in it. Getting human. Just being as alive as I can. And even though I started everything I was doing for her, I learned to get on with life. She isn't the center of my universe anymore. And that's okay and I learned I can live without her. "
Aashna looked at him narrowing her eyes like a thought had just occurred to her, "I bet Riley is from Iowa."
Angel looked at her saw that she was just trying to lighten the situation and smiled at her, "You're amazing, you know. And annoying."
"That's what I live for," she whispered and slid into his arms.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her crown, "I'm really glad you're here. I don't think... I never really thought about what happened. I just sort of brooded a lot over it."
This time it was Aashna who rolled her eyes, "Brooding, that's really something new."
"Old habits are hard to kill."
"You stopped your habit of killing," she said smirking at him.
He said nothing and held her tighter to him.
"I have a question," and before Angel said that she could ask him she continued. "If you're so in love with Buffy how are you with Cordelia, I mean she is so Cordelia."
Angel glared at her, "She was there for me through all my years with Buffy and here in LA."
"You didn't like her in Sunnydale."
"I was lonely," he whispered.
"Don't lie to me again. Making excuse, don't do it. I told you before, it's just me."
"I always had to tell you everything."
It was quiet for a few seconds before Aashna broke the silence by saying, "Is he really from Iowa?"
TBC
E-MAIL: eternally218yahoo.com DISCLAIMER: All Joss Whedon's
SUMMARY: What if the PTB were so fid up with Angel and Buffy that they had to send someone to fix everything that they messed up. This is only the begging it gets better as you go along and more interesting. DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who already has my stuff can take it and if you want just ask me I promise not to say no.
TIMELINE: S4 and S7 Buffy and Faith are the only slayers, no Lorne, they beet Jasmine and the First, they don't own Wolfram and Hart and Connor is still Connor the insane but he gets good in this story. And is so over Cordelia and Anya is dead. Spike is also alive. FEEDBACK: Please, I would really like to now what you guys thought.
AN: I saw the Notebook which really helped write this chapter, but really people see it, it's amazing. It sort of reminded me of In the Past, In the Future.
AN: Thanks from feedback from: sobad97, Timeree, Krystal, Lindsay, Kat, Cristina, Jennifer
The Fixer- Book One: Binding the Soul
Chapter Three: It's the Tale of Two Star Crossed Lovers
Angel was sitting in his bed looking at the ceiling when his door suddenly slammed open. He looked up and stared blankly at Aashna as she went over to the small radio he had on his desk. She turned it on and music that should be blaring lightly was blaring very loudly.
"What time is it?" Angel asked annoyed.
"Not that you were sleeping anyways 'cause you were probably brooding, which you know is a no no with me but," she looked at the clock on wall, "it's five thirty and what happened to vampires sleeping in the day, last time I checked that's what they do." She said waving her hand.
"Okay..." Angel said slowly. "Are you going to tell me why you are in my room?"
She was looking around his room and then looked at him pointing her eyes, "Yup." And she fell beside him on the bed.
Angel rolled his eyes at her and turned to face her. He looked at her. It had been three years since he had last seen her. And she grew. And had become exactly how he always saw her to be. How he saw her in his nightmares.
"I meet Connor."
He snapped back from his brooding and looked at her, she seemed calm, and "I thought you would be mad if you met him."
"Why should I be mad?" She said quietly.
"'Cause of Darla and-"
"Angel." She said quietly. He looked at her eyes, those powerfully painful eyes, "I don't care. I'm not her, but then you're you and not Angelus. So I guess it wouldn't matter, would it?" She said simply.
"It still probably hurts," Angel said quietly.
She looked at him for a moment, before saying. "Probably should turn off that stereo. I mean really, Angel, you shouldn't have something so loud on in the early part of the morning." She said grinning from ear to ear.
He rolled his eyes and got up and turned the radio off. He looked at her. "You happy now?"
She laughed at him. "With you? Never," she said.
He smirked at her, "Nice to know."
She shook her head and then suddenly became serious, "I think we need to talk."
He knew this was coming and sat down by her. He looked at her and waited for her to start talking. When she didn't he said," About what?"
"Don't act dumb. Tell me why." She said firmly.
He looked away.
"Okay, Angel it is me. Just me. No one is here. No one is judging you. It's me and you. No Cordelia, no Wesley, no... Buffy is here to annoy you about what you say. Mostly saying you don't have certain people whose name I shall not say but it ends with Delia to annoy you about what you say. "
He looked at the ceiling and fell to the bed next to her. "In May it was exactly five years ago."
"Tell me why, how and why again." She said looking at him.
"I couldn't look at her without wanting her. Wait you know about the curse?" He said through arrow eyes.
"Yeah."
"How? I didn't know about it back then?" he said confused.
"I just know. Anyways keep talking."
He looked at her for a moment and then, "I was scared one day I would just lose it. I mean really lose it. Like I would just go insane with the need to be with her. I just wanted her, needed her. And every time I was near her I just, my soul would be inches away from leaving. I had to fight to keep it in my body. I could fight it, if it wasn't to strong." He said trying to explain himself. He felt tears well up.
"You can, you know," she said stroking his cheek and she felt his eyes give and felt the tears coming down and it occurred to both her and Angel that he had never cried over losing Buffy. Not one single tear. And it was all coming down at that moment.
She pulled him in her arms and stroked his back like a baby, or a little boy in need. And he was sobbing now. And she thought she never heard him sob before. She pulled him more tightly against her and he cried into her stomach. And kept saying nonsense. Maybe he just figured it out, she thought to herself. Maybe he just noticed that she wasn't his anymore, that's why he would never cry.
"Angel," she said looking at him. He wiped his tears with his hand and looked away. "Angel." She said again.
"I made her cry. She begged me to stay. And I almost did. I saw her cry. I promised myself I wouldn't make her cry again and I did." Now he is just going insane, Aashna thought to herself. "Did you know whenever she cried it was because of me. I never wanted her to cry. And she did. And it was always me, and I never knew what to do. I just wanted her to be happy." And now the tears were coming again. She pulled him towards her but he wouldn't come.
"Do you think you did the right thing?" she said quietly.
"I knew if I spent one more day with her I wouldn't have my soul and she would have to kill me again. I wouldn't let her go through that. Ever again. And she cried. And then there was this thing called the Prom..."
"You broke up with her before the Prom?!" she shrieked.
He looked at her with such pain in his eyes and once again tears came down his eyes. He sort of looks like a girl, Aashna thought to herself. He was staring blankly into the ceiling again. She sat up and looked at him. She stroked his hair and he looked at her with such need and helplessness. But she needed to know the story so she could help him. And as much pain as she was making him go through she knew she had to get him to talk to her.
"You never answered my question." She said.
"What question?"
"Do you think you did the right thing?" she repeated.
He looked at Aashna. And then back at the ceiling. "I always thought it was what she needed. So she could have a family. So she could go into the sunlight with her boyfriend. I never once thought it would be good for me. I thought I would end up like was in New York. A stupid vampire with no life," before she could say anything he said, "Yes, I did have you but it was different and you know that."
"So... what does this have to do with my question?"
"I thought of going to New York but figured if Whistler found out he would kill me for leaving her, so I went to LA instead. I meet this demon, I his name was Doyle, he was real nice."
Angel didn't see her roll his eyes at his statement. "And protective." She mumbled.
"What?"
"Oh nothing anyways..." slapping herself at her mistake.
"Buffy was still everything I thought about. I would save people and come home and think about her all day. And I thought one more day till redemption, one more day till Buffy. And I wanted her so bad. But when Faith got out of her coma, I was helping her and she told me of Buffy's old boyfriend-"
"Who's Faith and old boyfriend?"
"Faith is a slayer that went mad for a few months and Riley is Buffy's old boyfriend."
"Riley, what kind of name is Riley, isn't that a girl's name." Aashna said shaking her head. "Maybe she has a thing."
"What thing?"
"With boyfriends with guy names," she said bluntly.
Angel glared at her and hit her over the head. "Ow!" she said and hit his head. He was about to hit her again when she raised her hands, "Wait! Were not done. When we are done then, and only then, can you hit me. Okay, okay, so you were saying."
"But when Faith told me about the all American Cowboy it sort of occurred to me I told Buffy to move on with her life, and I never did. So I guess somewhat, though Buffy is my number one thing for living there is other things to live for. Like getting redemption but real without her in it. Getting human. Just being as alive as I can. And even though I started everything I was doing for her, I learned to get on with life. She isn't the center of my universe anymore. And that's okay and I learned I can live without her. "
Aashna looked at him narrowing her eyes like a thought had just occurred to her, "I bet Riley is from Iowa."
Angel looked at her saw that she was just trying to lighten the situation and smiled at her, "You're amazing, you know. And annoying."
"That's what I live for," she whispered and slid into his arms.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her crown, "I'm really glad you're here. I don't think... I never really thought about what happened. I just sort of brooded a lot over it."
This time it was Aashna who rolled her eyes, "Brooding, that's really something new."
"Old habits are hard to kill."
"You stopped your habit of killing," she said smirking at him.
He said nothing and held her tighter to him.
"I have a question," and before Angel said that she could ask him she continued. "If you're so in love with Buffy how are you with Cordelia, I mean she is so Cordelia."
Angel glared at her, "She was there for me through all my years with Buffy and here in LA."
"You didn't like her in Sunnydale."
"I was lonely," he whispered.
"Don't lie to me again. Making excuse, don't do it. I told you before, it's just me."
"I always had to tell you everything."
It was quiet for a few seconds before Aashna broke the silence by saying, "Is he really from Iowa?"
TBC