Don't own Saiyuki or any of the people below. I wrote it in first-person originally while riding to class in the morning, and pondered putting it in third person like what I usually write in, realized how much work that'd be, and said "Screw it. I'm leaving it in first person." Soooo yaaaay bitchy hung-over Sanzo POV!! ….there's probably going to have to be a second chapter to this later ;; when I'm less behind on other projects. Re-uploaded to fix the FREAKING formatting thing...GIVE ME REAL PARAGRAPHS YOU DAMN MACHINES!! kicks
---------------------------------------

Goku's literally waiting right outside my door when I get up in the morning; it's as if he managed to hold still and quiet until the moment the door cracked open, at which point he comes close to a usual hyperactive greeting which flags when he gets a look at me. "You look like Hell, Sanzo. Maybe you should try sleeping?"

"I'll sleep when I'm dead.", I mumble, heading for the stairs and trying to ignore the part of me that wants to just fall back into bed and nurse the headache. He runs to catch up and starts bouncing around running circles around me as I'm heading downstairs. Look like Hell - eh, so I forgot to shave for a couple days. It's not like my hair does too much obeying anyway, so why bother with that, either?

"What's wrong, Sanzo? You've been acting weird two weeks now. Is this about those letters you tore up? Why would those be keeping you from sleeping? Who were they from anyway? You don't usually get letters, much less scrolls with all that wax and ribbons! Something's going on, isn't it, Sanzo? What's going on? Tell meeeeee!" Maybe someday, if I'm lucky, those five hundred years of pent-up energy will finally run out and he'll slow down. Maybe.

"Coffee. Can't you wait until I've had coffee?"

He stops dancing around right in front of me, blocking the bottom of the stairs, looking up at me like a begging puppy. "If I wait until you've got coffee, will you tell me?"

"...Maybe."

That seems to be enough for him, and he darts out into the restaurant, flagging down a waitress.

He actually lets me get halfway through picking at breakfast before he starts in again. "So what's up? Why aren't you sleeping lately? Are you having nightmares or something?" Nightmares - not quite the word. I try to tune him out.

"That's it, isn't it? You're having nightmares! So what's it about that's getting to you like this? With all the stuff you don't blink at, it'd have to be something; I mean, you don't blink at anything that normally scares people, so it's gotta be something else...it gotta do with why you're so nasty all the time? You didn't start until after those letters came so it's gotta have something to do with that - those were from the temple, right? That's what the courier said, right?" If the gods are merciful, there will be a gag on the table the next time I look up from my plate. "You're supposed to be some kind of bigshot priest, right? So what pissed you off against the temple so badly 'side the obvious, what'd they want with those letters, and why'd it be giving you nightmares?"

He's waiting for an answer; I just try to enjoy the moment of peace and quiet to drink my coffee. By the time I've pulled out a cigarette he realizes I've got no intention of answering yet. "C'mon, Sanzo! If it's some kind of big secret, you can trust me! I swear on my name I won't tell anyone anything you tell me as a secret, I'll take it to my grave, just tell me! What was in those letters from the temple and why aren't you sleeping? That's really not good for you, y'know. Are the nightmares really that bad?"

"It's not nightmares." He leans across the table waiting for me to explain. "Just summons."

"Ooooh...the calling in dreams thing?"

"Yes." I'm never going to have a peaceful morning again since I picked him up. "Except they know damn well what they're doing."

"So what do they want so badly?"

"Eh." I shrug and lean back.

"You don't know?"

"Don't know, don't care."

"Two letters and dreams - it's gotta be SOMETHING important. Aren't you at least curious?"

"Not really."

"Can't you go see what it is and tell them to fuck off if you don't want to do it?"

"That'd depend on what they want and why."

"But you're not even going to see what it is? Why?"

"I'm not interested in anything that temple can offer me."

"Why?"

"They're a bunch of hypocritical, self-righteous assholes and I left for a reason."

"Why?"

"Because no matter what -" Damnit, one of these days I'll remember not to fall for that game. I shoot him a glare over my cigarette. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"If you keep asking why long enough, and the other person keeps answering, you find the secret of existence."

I start ignoring him in favor of my drink, muttering about "immature pain in the ass", "bloody fool", and "why do I even bother" now and then.

He perks up and starts watching something in the hallway, where the front desk is; the owner's talking to someone and being really formal; I thought I'd heard my name.

"We have someone by that name here, but I don't think he's a priest..."

"He is probably simply trying to pose as a common peasant, as a display of humility." Fuck. I know that voice - crap.

"Damn, they're sending the high muckety-mucks...", I mutter. Goku nods and keeps his eyes on the door over my shoulder.

"That's...not really what I meant...", the owner wavers.

"May we see him?"

"Oh, of course!"

They're headed this way; I'm going to be drinking more alcohol than what's in the coffee today, at this rate. One of the two thanks the innkeeper, says "That'll be all", and says a short blessing. I've got my head in my hands, trying to look as half-asleep as I feel. It can't be hard, Goku looked at me earlier as if I were a walking corpse.

"Genjo Sanzo?"

I push my chair back and turn enough to look up at the priests - higher ups, full regalia. They're both looking quite uncomfortable, eyeing the table and the wreck I must look.

"Yes, what is it?" There's a moment of silence; if they didn't both know me, they'd probably turn around, leave, and keep looking for the real Genjo Sanzo. "Finally decide to leave your ivory towers for a change?"

The superior one sighs heavily. "It saddens me greatly to see you living like this." I roll my eyes. "You bring disgrace to the temple, to your title, and to your predecessor's memory." There's a half second death glare, a twinge - he did not just…

I stand up fast and walk toward the door. "Let's go, Goku, we're getting our things and leaving. Now."

"Sanzo wait, this is important!" He catches my shoulder as I'm storming by; I pull away, snarling.

"If it's not important enough for you to shove your self-righteous ego for once, it's not important enough for me to give a shit!" I keep going, and Goku follows. The second they brought up Koumyou was the second they blew their chances.

He takes a couple slow, deep breaths, only barely speaking up. "We need your help with something. We were told to find you. There's...probably nobody else in the temple who'd be able to deal with this anyway."

I stop on my way out the door, glaring slightly less balefully over one shoulder; he's staring at the ground, not daring to look at me. Goku runs into me from behind. Did I just hear one of the high priests eating crow? "So what is it, then?"

"I would hope…that you are aware…of the recent behavior of the youkai?"

….Somehow, I was afraid they'd say that. "Hard to miss." I rest against the doorway, back to them; I'm still debating just leaving.

"Something has to be done, and I'm afraid you're about the only one we can turn to within the temple with the…" He shifts uncomfortably, picking his words with distaste for the subject. "...aptitude for conflict necessary."

"You want me to fight your battles because nobody else knows how." I push away from the door and look back at them, snarling. "And because none of your people are willing to get blood on their hands, right?"

He blanches, edging back. "There is more than that, but I am afraid that many who might impede this are beyond being reached, and you were specifically named for other reasons as well. You may find the explanation at length at the Temple, if you would allow us to escort you - we will wait if you wish time to make yourself presentable."

I start up the stairs, weaving more from lack of sleep than anything else; I haven't had enough to drink to do more than take the edge off the hangover yet. "Feh. I'm not your assassin. Go find someone else to do your dirty work." Goku's keeping almost uncharacteristically quiet behind me.

"Sanzo, wait! Things grow worse by the day, and at this rate, soon there may not be any youkai left in possession of their right minds - something must be done!"

I turn around halfway up the staircase, one hand on the wall, the other on the railing. "If you want me to listen, I want a better explanation what the Hell you want from me." Goku doesn't run into me this time; he's looking between me and the priests, taking in the whole argument.

"Aaah, I'm afraid I cannot give you all the answers in such surroundings; please, if you'd only come to the temple and hear us out-"

"I'll get ready." Goku slips past me scrambling for his room; I turn my back on them and storm up the stairs without another word. It takes them a minute to get the nerve to follow.

"Sanzo, you're the only one capable of-" My room door slams before they've even really gotten into the upstairs hallway.

By the time I've gotten my things packed, Goku's leaning in the hallway waiting, and they're standing just past him. I nod to Goku as I walk by, and go right past them without even acknowledging their presence.

"Please, be reasonable and hear us out! This is far more complicated and important than you're making it out to be!" I'm halfway down the stairs and still haven't stopped; they start following me again. "Genjo Sanzo, for once can you set aside this stubborn pride to attend to your duties?"

"They'll take care of the bill." I growl at the owner as I pass by. I hear one last exasperated "Sanzo!" as the front door closes behind us, and I make it a point to disappear into the people milling on the street as quickly as I can, before they can get out and tail us anymore.

Goku catches up to walk beside me, tugging on one sleeve. "…Are things really that bad?"

"…Eh. Could be." I can only go by what I've heard….

"Y'think Gojyo and Hakkai are alright?"

That's where I stop dead, and he almost passes me. Eyes closed, Damnit, they've got to be alright, and if they're not…

If they're not, I don't want to be the one…

"They can take care of themselves." I stay still until I've got the reaction back under control, then continue on to head somewhere a bit further away, where they're less likely to track me down so easily.