The Dead Body Chapter 8: Operation Little Black Dress Part 2, an evangelion fanfic

THE DEAD BODY

Chapter Eight: Operation Little Black Dress (PART 2)

I'd like to thank Dark Titan and Shinji the Good Sharer for their help in this little chapter! Hehe they know what I mean . . . I hope --U

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Asuka pulled back the spandex as far as it could go, the unsuspecting Shinji watching Misato and Kaji.

She smirked and let the material go - slapping back into place against the young unaware pilot's behind.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Shinji squealed rubbing his sore bottom as Asuka burst into a fit of giggles.

Misato and Kaji glared at the two and they quickly quieted down. The two adults returned to looking at their maps.

"I could get into that window I think…" Kaji said pointing out a precariously high opening on the building. The police station was fairly secure, but it was possible.

"Ok we'll do that then." Misato answered.

Shinji yelped – Asuka had stuck again.

"Kaji do we have to wear spandex…?" he whined rubbing his bottom.

Kaji turned to the younger boy. "Why it's just like your plug suit isn't it?"

"Yeah I guess." He replied,

"But Asuka doesn't pull my plug suit." He added under his breath. Watching Asuka grin at him evilly, he sighed and moved further away from the . . . wild girl. Although it was hard since they were all sitting in Misato's car.

He couldn't get far. Misato folded the maps away and got out of the car, the rest of the group followed suit.

Chatting away they entered the building and brushed through the halls unaware of the horror awaiting them back home.

Misato clicked the door open to be confronted with a strong, gut wrenching smell. It surrounded them like a fog enveloping the small group.

"oh my. . ."

"Ewww!"

"uh Misato have you done the dishes in a while?" TT

"Shinji I thought I told you to take the trash out!"

"I did!"

The group stumbled in the room all holding their noses - except Rei who stayed at the door waiting to be invited in.

"Someone open some windows!" Asuka cried running to the bathroom. Kaji pushed Shinji forward into the main living area as a volunteer, and the poor boy got to work opening as many windows as he could.

Misato and Kaji exchanged glances, what exactly could that smell be?

"SQUAK!" came a cry from Pen Pen as he pointed to the dead man on the couch.

Misato sweat dropped. "Why didn't we think of that?" she wondered aloud.

"AHHHHHHHHH! MY CLOTHES ARE GOING TO GET DEAD MAN STINK INFUSED IN THEM!" Asuka cried running from the bathroom to the front door where they had left their bags. Misato paled and ran after the girl. They reached the front door where Rei waited patiently for their arrival.

"Major Katsuragi, it's 20 mins to 21:00." Rei informed before being dragged out the door by her violet haired major.

"We're going to change at Rei's house! See you at the police station!" she called and Asuka, Rei and her skidded down the hall towards the lift.

Later. . .

"Shinji hurry!" Kaji called to Shinji who staggered behind as they rushed down an alleyway that led directly to the local police station.

"Sorry, I just need too. . . . .. ahhh." He finished pulling out another wedgie. Kaji cocked up an eyebrow at the younger boy but said nothing and they disappeared into the night silently . . . apart from the squeaky noises made by their spandex pants.

The taxi driver stared at his soon to be customers. Three young . . . well two young ladies and an older women stood on the side of the road all clad in black dresses.

The first of the three had wild red hair that reached past her shoulders; she wore a halter neck, backless black dress. Her shoes were also black and the ties traveled up her legs in a crisscross pattern. She wore red bracelets on her wrists that matched the colour of her hair.

The second and older looking woman had a short boob tube black dress on. She also wore her violet hair down; the heels she wore could kill man if kicked in the right place. She winked at the cab driver and he pulled over, right next to the third young lady.

She had her blue/silver hair down and wore a more modest dress than the other two women. It was a pain black strap dress with black mesh covering her exposed shoulders and arms.

Blood spurted out of the cab drivers nose like a small waterfall as he tried to keep calm in front of these very beautiful women.

"Excuse me? Could you take us to the police station please?" Misato asked leaning into the cab through the open window. Her arms crossed over which pushed together her breasts. Making the driver's eyes widen to impossible round circles.

More blood poured through the cab drivers nose. "S – sure ma – ma – mam!!" he replied unsteadily and the girls quickly got in the car.

"Sir are you alright?" Rei asked noticing the cab driver fumbling with mass amounts of tissues.

"FINE! Fine! Heh. . . " The driver replied quickly and took off.

At the police station…

"Misato said we were going to rendezvous here.." Kaji said looking at his watch, it was 30 seconds off 21:00. They were standing just behind the police station.

"Hey guys!" Asuka called running towards them. Misato followed at a trot and Rei walked behind her.

Blood poured mercilessly out of Shinji's nose and something "awoke" in Kaji obvious in his spandex pants.

Misato was the first to notice Kaji's reaction and cringed before covering Asuka's eyes with her hands.

"Hey what are you doing that for?" she whined trying to get out of the majors grip. She found she couldn't.

"We better head off! You guys go ahead and start!" Misato said cheerfully turning the annoyed Asuka 180 degrees and striding out of the alleyway, Rei following obediently behind.

Kaji pulled out a grappling hook, "Lets do this."

Misato strode purposely into the quiet station.

"Hi! I have a problem. . . umm" She said as all the male police officers ran to help her. "Well that was easy!" she added quietly.

Shinji swung helplessly off the end of the rope "Kajiiii!" he hissed trying not to draw excessive attention to himself.

THUMP.

"ow."

"Sorry Ikari, lets try that again!" came Kaji voice from the roof.

Meanwhile Misato, Rei and Asuka were keeping our friends the police officers busy.

"And you see I came back to my car to find all my batteries gone and some trollop of a woman screeching down the road in her shiny blue hatchback telling me it's okay because she's a government official! Can you believe that?" Misato cried (a/n – sound familiar?)

The first of the two police officers sighed "unbelievable!" he exclaimed, "Can you describe this woman for us?" he asked.

Misato choked, and giggled slightly to cover up that she was caught out. "umm.. lemme see if I remember correctly . . "

"Blonde hair!" Asuka called from her chair, already bored out of her mind from Misato taking up the spotlight. She filed her nails and Misato glared at her before turning back to the police officers, "heh, yeah that's right blonde hair! And…"

"Kaji you'll smash it!" Shinji exclaimed in a hiss.

Kaji stared at the boy, "Don't worry Shinji, it won't break.. I just have cut the glass around this little circle and.. . "

CRASH.

"oops!"

They waited for a sign that they had been caught out by the police officers.

"What was that?" the second and younger of the two police officers asked looking behind him to the closed off offices. He got up out of his chair to investigate, but Asuka shoved him down standing in front of him to block his way out. "Don't you want to know what's wrong with me?" she asked innocently.

The police officer – p2, sweated nervously, "Of course!" he squeaked pulling a pad and pencil out from his front pocket, "please go ahead . . " he said his voice chopping and changing from high tones to lower ones.

"Well you see it all stared off at this knife store. . ."

"I think it's safe to go in Ikari!" Kaji said triumphantly and jumped into the station, Shinji followed.

They gathered around the computer and began to type.

P1 , the police officer conversing with Misato sighed, "Mam I really have to check what's happening out back, I'll return as soon as I can!" he said quickly getting up.

Misato tried to protest but p2 was insistent. Suddenly the lights went off.

P1 – "Hey why did the lights go off?"

P2 – "I don't kn-"

The lighting returned and Misato and Asuka gasped when they saw both P1 and P2 lying on the floor unconscious. Rei smiled a small smile to herself and dusted off her hands.

Kaji and Shinji gasped at the computer screen and ran to the front of the police station. When they entered the area where Asuka, Misato and Rei where, they stopped for a moment in confusion.

"What happened here?" Kaji inquired.

The two innocent women shrugged and Rei smiled again.

"Hey Kaji we're supposed to be meeting back up at the apartment! What are you doing here?" Misato exclaimed

"You'll never guess what we found out? We found the description of the person that killed the scarred man and it fits the description of someone we all know! It's –"

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Pen Pen had finally found Gendo. He was on the bridge with the bridge bunnies, silently Pen Pen jumped down from his space in the vent landing with a soft thud on the ground.

Before he had anytime to pull his gun out a holler could be heard. Then Pen Pen watched as a man with an afro and holding two machine guns swung off a rope through the area. (Nabeshin from excel saga anyone?)

He laughed evilly and sprayed the bridge bunnies with a cascade of bullets.

Maya dived under her desk and was the only bunny to survive the mass massacre.

The man finally stopped and fell onto the floor beneath him looking for something else to do.

Everyone else : 0.o

Pen Pen looked around wildly and noticed Gendo had escaped, he cursed his bad luck and continued his search.

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WAI! Finished my chapter

One more to go!! cries it's almost over guys, savor the sweet sense of my attempts of humour while they last --U

I'm gonna be quick cause I want to post this up.. soooo

THANKS FOR READING GUYS!

To my wonderful beautiful, special, fantastic, amazing reviewers!

[In no particular order . . . ]

Shinji the Good Sharer: THANKYOU for pointing out how smelly the body would have been. It totally slipped my mind! hehe! Damn and it was a good surprise as well! Thanks for the review I hope you liked this chapter!

Hououza: They didn't die from blood loss but they were close to it! I would be surprised if the cab driver died from blood loss . . . meh oh well, there's always a casualty in these sorts of fics! Thanks for the review! Hope you liked this chapter!

Brax: hey buddy! I remember that movie, I think I saw it once . . long long ago, well I remember the name crow anyways. I think it was the same movie ponders for a while anyways . . thanks for the review! I hope you liked this chappy!

Ghost 140: lol! Flying monkeys! Umm yeah I'm not talented enough to write funny all the time! --U I envy those who do! But anyways. Thanks for the review, you know what it reminded me of? It might just be a stupid Aussie thing but anyways, the umbilical brothers and they pretend to fight off spider monkeys – but in real life they're just clawing the air!! laughs constantly for the next ten minutes ahhh I thinks it's just me! Hope you liked this chapter!

NickNack: Yay! I'm so happy you think my story rules!! dances the happy dance yeah I noticed my chapters are quite the short ones, aren't they. . . I'll try and improve on my bad habit, but I can't promise anything! Thanks for the review! Hope you like this chapter!

Lee: umm is this your name or just a note to me? Cause I thought it would be so cool if we had the same name.. well yeah I know I'm weird . Umm I think I screwed that up cause in my other fic he is the first child! --U gets me so confused!!! Thanks for the review! Hope you like this chapter!

The omaker : it's nice to find a man who appreciates my twisted sense of humour, most of them run away. Call to guys who turn and run dammit! It's always the good-looking ones! Yes I truly do believe with all my heart that penguins were the cause of world war two. Guilt is written all over their faces! I dunno if Rei and shinji will ever hide the pickle in this story . . . it's got one chapter to go, we're gonna have to wait and see. Yes I mean me too – these people have minds of their own! --U . . . Hey I like lame jokes holds up lame jokes forever sign they're my fav type of joke - cause you can laugh at them cause they are lame and funny at the same time! Wow! Thanks for the review, hope you liked this chap! Hugs and Kisses!