A/N I would like to thank all those who reviewed.
Lolua- if you would like there is a timeline available, may help with your notes. Also, if you like Neville here you should go and read the companion pieces by Dragonsbane1611. I asked her to write the background of Neville and Luna and she has done an amazing job. Also if you liked the song Ivy sang, the entire thing is by Dragonsbane and she would be more than happy to send you the recorded musical version. And as for changing Neville to make him sexier, there was no need, he's amazing as is.
The One Reviewer- thanks. Hope to see you review again.
Jaime- thanks for reviewing. I love Ginny and Harry too. I swear things get better, but it's a long road to get there and things are going to get much worse first. There is also a song available for H/G in this story. Just ask Dragonsbane to send you the link and you can listen to it. It's very good.
To everyone who is reading out there, please review. Nothing makes my day like a review. And thanks to you all for reviewing. Please go and look at Dragonsbane's stories though. They are fantastic and explain a lot of the background. Any questions…. Email me.
(Neville)
"They really did a job on it, didn't they?" Hermione said, dumping a large armful of leaves into the trash.
I had suggested that we simply ditch the project and clear out the place, but Hermione would have none of it. She insisted on picking up each plant by hand, cooing over it and setting it neatly on a shelf. I followed her lead, admiring her care of the vegetation. Several of the more delicate species were in need of replanting, and more than one plant had to be thrown out.
I watched her sweep another pile of leaves into her arms and dump them in the trash. Using a spell would have been quicker but I had always been skittish of using magic on my stock. Occasionally a plant had magical properties that reacted poorly to spells. So it was back to manual labor for the two of us.
"Yeah, at least they left me a few things." I muttered.
"Don't worry, we'll figure out who did it." She assured me with a squeeze to my shoulder.
I smiled back at her sadly and continued pressing soil around the flutterby bushes.
"You don't have to stay, you can go back home if you want." I offered.
"No, Ron and the kids can manage, you need the help more." She answered.
I sighed and wished that she would change her mind. If ever I wanted to be alone it was now. Seeing the shambles of my life around me was not a moment I would have chosen to share. Coming back had taken effort, the sight of the devastation made me sick to my stomach, Hermione simply went to work.
There was no doubt that I appreciated her help, I probably couldn't have done it on my own, but that was a lesson I would have liked to learn on my own. I wanted so much to sweep up the broken memories and dreams myself, instead she was doing it for me.
"Thanks." I managed and stood up from the bushes.
They shook their thanks and I plucked a few dead leaves from their branches. Hermione was humming behind me and I was reminded of something I was trying very hard to forget. The break-in would have broken her heart and I couldn't take the pain of that. I refused to think of my wife.
"You might want to check the back room, I've not had the courage to go." Hermione said honestly.
I nodded and stepped over several piles of broken limbs to get there, the door opened at my touch. I sighed at the continued ruin of my store and leaned heavily against the doorframe. Although it seemed not to be as bad as the front gallery, I found I lacked the energy to tackle it. Instead I slowly walked to the center of the room and surveyed it all quietly. A sort of half sob escaped me and I sat down on the cold cement. I refused to cry. Refused to blubber. So I sat and looked about me with growing sadness.
"Neville, are you okay, what happened?" Hermione asked kneeling next to me.
I shook my head and began to shred a leaf between my fingers.
"It's not so bad, most of it can be saved. Come on, get up." She tried again and tugged on my arm.
"It's just…" I started and never finished.
"You can't just give up on something, not this far into it." She exclaimed.
I grimaced as her words rang familiar. I could still feel the cold earth beneath me and hear the panic in Ron's voice as he brought me back from the brink of death.
"You're right." I whispered and stood.
"Good. Now, you may want to have a look at the tentacula, it didn't even hiss at me when I entered the room." She pointed to the corner.
I nodded and ventured over there. Of course she was right, several of its tentacles had been broken, it lay limp, only hissing half heartedly as I inspected it's wounds. Biting my lip I reached into my pocket and pulled out a roll of gauze, gently I wrapped the broken limbs and fussed over it until finally it's hiss grew stronger and it waved the tip of a tentacle at me in gratitude.
We spent the next few hours bandaging stems and snipping broken branches. Hermione continued to hum quietly, and for a moment I allowed myself to slip back to simpler times. If I closed my eyes I could see her swaying lightly while she tended the plants, the sun shining on her hair, lighting it like gold, those jewel bright eyes gleaming happily. Yet, despite my efforts another thought came to me. My dreams tickled the edge of my mind. Twisted sheets, copper hair tangled in my fingers, small teeth nipping at my neck, the taste of those rosy lips.
"Are you okay?" Hermione asked again as I shook myself.
"Yeah, just lost track of time." I lied with a half smile.
"Me too. Are you hungry?" She asked leaning the broom against the wall.
As I opened my mouth to answer her a large dark owl swooped through the open window and landed on the desk. I frowned and approached it carefully. The large black eyes swiveled in my direction and I noticed the seal on the letter it carried. Malfoy.
"Must be lost." I said and tried to shoo it away.
"Who is it from?" She inquired, joining me.
"Draco Malfoy." I said and looked at her for answers.
Trembling slightly she took the parchment and unfolded it. Her eyes scanned over the words and her eyebrows joined in a frown.
"Do you mind if I go? I'm sorry to abandon you here, but I've got to show this to Ron." She explained, tucking the letter away in her pocket.
"Sure. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. I think so. I've just got to tell Ron something." She repeated and before I could answer, she had disapparated.
The owl hooted once at me and then flew off as mysteriously as it had arrived. Confused I sat down in my chair and sighed. It seemed lately that everyone had a secret life. Ginny was fighting with Harry, Hermione was associating with Malfoys, and I, I was in love with Harry's wife. Again the dreams flickered across the backs of my eyelids. This time I let them come and laid my head on the desk, knowing it was wrong. Still, I couldn't help but think how wonderful it would have been to kiss her the night before.
(Harry)
My head was hurting again, probably from gripping my hair so much, I was almost certain I had left handfuls of it on the floor of my borrowed room at Grimmauld Place. After undressing I hadn't had the energy to dig for nightclothes, so I slipped beneath the covers wearing just my boxers. Hours passed like centuries and I lay sleepless, staring at the darkened ceiling, wishing I could clear my head of the horrible thoughts coming to it. Would she take me back? If we separated who would get Lily? If she got Lily would I ever get to see her? Would I want to see Lily? I sat up and began to pull at my hair again. Without thinking I snapped my fingers and a pack of muggle cigarettes dropped onto the bed sheets. I hadn't smoked in years, stopping because Ginny asked me to. Now I couldn't resist the craving.
Leaning back against the headboard I used my wand as a lighter and inhaled deeply, savoring every bit of it. The smoke surrounded me and I enjoyed watching it swirl in the air, making shapes, pictures, I'd wave my hand and make them disappear. Eventually my nerves calmed and I simply lay back taking pleasure in the scent of the smoke. Another hour had passed and still I wasn't tired. Grumbling I cleaned up the cigarette butts and banished the conjured ashtray. The serene effect of the nicotine wore off quickly and I was back to pulling my hair again. I sat like that, with my knees up to my chest gripping my hair in painful handfuls until dawn.
"You've been smoking again." Ginny said absently as I examined a broken table leg.
I didn't respond, pretending I hadn't heard her.
"You're going to kill yourself, those things are bad for you." She went on.
There was a cruel retort on the edge of my tongue but I bit it back, reminding myself that she was worried about me, not attacking.
"Just don't do it around Lily."
"I won't." I replied quietly.
The table leg was shattered and beyond repair so I placed it in the pile of things we couldn't fix and moved on to one of the chairs.
"You don't have to stay and help." She said.
I looked up to read her expression but she was trying to put a picture frame back together.
"It's my house too." I replied.
"I mean if you are uncomfortable I'll understand, I won't hold it against you. I'm sure Ron and Neville could use the help."
Slowly I stood, realizing that it was I who was making her uncomfortable, I made her nervous. Softly I stepped towards her. She glanced at me once but went back to the picture frame.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked in a low voice.
"If you want to." She replied.
"No, Ginny, I asked if you wanted me to leave." I repeated growing closer to her.
She didn't answer, merely looked at the frame. I watched her tense as I grew close and jump when I jerked the frame from her hands.
"Do you want me to leave?" I once again repeated the question.
"A little." She whispered averting her eyes.
It was frustrating that suddenly she could not meet my gaze.
"Why?"
"It's hard watching you sit here, knowing you won't be here tonight."
I laughed harshly at her skewed logic, "That is your doing."
She was silent for a moment and I waited, watching different emotions cross her face, giving her time to pick one.
"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier seeing you here as if nothing has happened." She hissed finally deciding on anger.
"If you wanted me here, why did you send me away?" I responded keeping my voice low so as not to scare my daughter in the other room.
"I just got so tired of never knowing how you felt about me." She growled.
I could feel my own anger growing rapidly.
"You really want to know?" I growled.
She nodded mutely, her brown eyes never leaving my green ones.
"Inadequate."
"What?"
"I'm not good enough for you, haven't been in a long time."
"That's not true." She whispered with tears in her voice.
I took sick satisfaction in her misery.
"Every since you earned yourself a scar, I haven't been good enough. You push me away, hold me at arms length and ignore my efforts to comfort you. I try to hold you and tell you how I feel, but you don't hear me. If I seem distant it's your doing. And if you are lonely right now, that's your own damn fault. YOU did this. So you can deal with the consequences."
"Harry…" She started with tears coming to her eyes.
"Just remember that I love you, and that's what hurts the most." I said reaching out to touch her cheek.
My fingers grazed the puckered skin of her scar and I jerked back as if burned. That one mark caused this.
"But…" She started, a tear escaping.
"I won't set foot in this house again." I told her, my voice hard.
"I didn't say that." She cried, angrily clenching her fists.
"You say you need to work things out for yourself, tell me when you get done. I'll be around." I shrugged and disapparated.
Seething as I appeared in the shadows near Grimmauld Place, I leaned against the brick or a building and caught my breath. My hands were shaking with anger, I clenched them to hide it before ringing the bell. Remus didn't seem at all startled to see me and moved so I could come in.
"Did you get everything cleaned up?" He asked.
I glared at him, turning away and aiming a hard kick at the stone wall. My toes burst into pain and I stumbled back with a gasp. Remus caught me and held me upright until I could stand again, the ache faded, leaving only a burning soreness. He asked no questions, simply shouldered my arm and half carried me out of the foyer into the living area. I landed heavily on the couch and slowly began to peel off my shoe and sock to inspect the damage I had done.
"I'm guessing things didn't go well." He stated, sitting across from me in another chair.
I muttered something as I prodded my red and swollen toes.
"What was that?" He asked, leaning closer.
"Fucking wall is hard." I replied with another glare.
"Well, it is stone. Perhaps you should have chosen another target." He suggested.
We sat in silence and I decided that my toes weren't broken, which was good, because I had no energy to go to the hospital and get them fixed.
"Are you willing to tell me what happened? Or are you going to hurt yourself some more?"
I bit my tongue to keep it quiet and leaned back, gently placing my foot on the coffee table in front of me.
"She didn't want me there." I said, trying to avoid his piercing gaze.
"You should have expected that."
"But she didn't seem mad at first, I thought if I came, maybe we could make up or something. I thought if I helped her…she'd see that I still wanted to be there." I was having trouble putting my thoughts into words.
Most of it was a lie. I had simply wanted to be near her. I wanted to pretend she hadn't left me.
"She didn't see it that way?"
"It was so stupid though, there was no reason for it. She just told me I could go if I was uncomfortable and I snapped. I didn't want to go, but she wanted me to. She told me she wanted me to." I wasn't going to cry.
"I guess you didn't."
I shook my head and roughly rubbed my eyes, trying hard to cover my tears.
"Just give her the space she wants, let her work it out, maybe she'll come around." He said quietly.
"Why are women so damnably complicated?" I growled and gripped my hair again.
"I've never been married so I don't think I can answer that."
I had a thought suddenly and looked at him curiously, my tears momentarily forgotten.
"Yeah but you and Tonks are…right?" I inquired.
He laughed and leaned back in his chair, longish greying hair falling into his face.
"No. We aren't." He smiled.
I chuckled half heartedly, "Least I'm not the only one who isn't getting any."
"Come on then, we have to get some owls sent before the meeting tonight." Remus said and stood up.
"Yeah, could I get some ice for my toes?" I asked timidly.
He laughed again and went to find me some.
(Ron)
Only Mia cried when she saw the damage. The others, including Neville's twins, simply sighed and went to work, Meshach helping the girls with heavier things and watching to be sure no one got hurt. I watched him proudly as I hushed my youngest, her sobbing cries seemed to echo in the house. One arm curled under her, holding her close while the other rubbed her back comfortingly.
"It's okay. We'll get it all cleaned up, I promise." I shushed as I paced the room.
By the time she was calm enough to set on the ground the children had made a large pile of things I needed to go through. I sighed as I lifted the coffee table up and inspected the damage. Brandishing my wand I did a repairing charm and watched the crack close up. Mia giggled, watching me and clapped her hands.
"Do that again, Daddy." She begged and pulled at my sleeve.
I grinned, somehow I didn't think I'd ever get used to be called daddy. It would always make me smile.
"Don't fret, I'll be doing that a lot I think." I assured her.
Some things were beyond hope and I simply banished them before Hermione came home and showed me up with her magical repairing skills. She'd be upset of course, but that was fine, I'd dealt with that before.
"Daddy, what's that on the wall?" Another small voice asked.
Mab was looking at the writing. Her big brown eyes were shining with curiosity and I regretted not having taken care of that first.
"Nothing, just some graffiti, go help your brother."
"What does it say?"
"Nothing, do as I told you." I commanded and pointed her to the other room.
She looked at me with a familiar gleam in her eyes and I knew that whatever she was going to do, it wasn't going to be what I told her. I hung my head, exasperated, knowing full well that it was my own fault she was so impish. If I had called her Persephone as Hermione wanted me to she would have been just as rule abiding as her mother, but I insisted on another name. There was no way I was calling my daughter "Queen of the Underworld." She needed another name, something shorter and less likely to be made fun of. So I chose Mab, who as luck would have it, was queen of the fairies.
"Mab." I said warningly.
She giggled and scampered from the room. I laughed a little myself.
The time seemed to pass by quickly and just as I was about to call break a loud pop made me jump.
"Ron?" My wife called.
I turned and smiled at her. Her mouth was open with news of something but she stopped and looked around.
"Where is the other coffee table?" She asked.
"Oh…I uh…couldn't fix it." I said nervously.
"Why didn't you wait to let me try?"
"Just didn't occur to me. What's wrong?" I said quickly changing the subject.
She shook her head and thrust a letter at me. The seal was Malfoy.
"Where did this come from?" I queried.
"An owl brought it this afternoon. Read it."
I did. My eyes traveled back up to meet hers.
"You aren't going to meet him are you?" I frowned.
"Ron."
"What? You aren't. I won't let you." I stated firmly.
She looked incredulously at me and snorted.
"I'm going."
"No you aren't. I don't trust him, I don't want you going."
"You don't have to trust him. I do." She whispered.
"Why on earth is that?"
"I rescued him when I could have let him die, I have to believe that he has become a better person since then. And if he thinks he knows something the would benefit us, I'm going to go. You can't stop me, not this time."
I frowned and handed the letter back to her.
"I didn't see everything you saw that night. I'm glad I didn't. You do what you have to do, I won't be angry." I took her hand in mine and squeezed it.
"Thank you. I love you so much." She grabbed me into a quick hug.
"I love you too. Be careful." I warned grimly.
She was gone before I finished talking.
"Was that Mum?" Meshach asked entering the room.
"Yeah, she'll be back later, have you finished your room?" I asked.
"Almost. Are we stopping to eat?"
"Oh," I had forgotten about food, "Yeah, lets see what we have."
Despite a mighty effort to forget what had just happened I worried about her the rest of the day.
(Hermione)
The house brought back many painful memories. Flames, screams, and the press of many angry people. I cringed knocking on the door, wishing that I had stayed with Ron as he asked, wishing I had just ignored the letter and gone on my way. Yet, I knew I couldn't have done it. No matter what his history, the man deserved the benefit of the doubt. I had to believe that he could change, that under right circumstances he could be a good person.
"I thought you wouldn't come." He said opening the door.
I said nothing but entered when he bade me. My eyes wondered over the high ceilings and tiled floors, I could see in many places where it had been repaired, though every inch was immaculately clean.
"Thank you for coming. I know it wasn't easy." He began, the slow drawl from our youth was gone from his voice.
"Of course I came."
He smiled a sad smile and motioned for me to follow him. The many tapestries that hung along the walls did little to muffle our footsteps, or my nervous breathing.
"Come, we'll speak in my office."
He opened the door and I walked in. A desk sat at one end of the room, while two couches lined the walls. I found a seat and waited while he shut the door behind us. There was still a grace to his movements that seemed to belong to all the Malfoy family. Not a hair was out of place, his nails were all manicured and his clothing was impeccably unwrinkled. Yet, he was different than any Malfoy I had ever come in contact with. Something in the way he spoke or the expressions on his face made him stand out.
"As time may be short I will come straight to the point, I have recently been made aware of certain circumstances that have relevance to you and your friends." He paused a moment on friends as if another words came to mind.
"What do you mean?"
"Excuse me, Master Draco, but Young Master Bane tells Pip to find you, sir." A high voice squeaked from the door we had just entered from.
I turned and found small female house elf standing there wringing her bony hands. Long ago I would have been outraged by her presence. It was unethical to keep creatures like that simply to serve you. However, she seemed to be treated well, her pillow case was clean and I noticed little bits of embroidery around the edges.
"What has he done now?" Draco asked slightly angered.
"Oh, it's terrible, Pip doesn't know how to fix it." She squeaked again and kept wringing her hands.
"If you will excuse me for a moment, I'll return once I sort this out." He said nodding to me and following the little creature out of the room.
I was left sitting in his office. My robes did little to keep me warm in the drafty room, so I stood to walk around a little. Bookshelves lined the walls behind the desk and I curiously went to inspect them. Never could resist a collection of books, so I read a few of the titles, choosing one to look at closer. But before I had even read the first page something else caught my eye. A door off to the side, partially hidden by a large potted plant.
I knew better the entire time I moved the plant and stood in front of the door. I shouldn't open it, it wasn't mine, this wasn't my house. Yet, my hand took hold of the knob and turned it. The room beyond of was like something out of a nightmare, stark white walls with black tiles on the floor, the sun shone brightly through a window to the side and illuminated the bed in the center of the room. I stepped forward to get a better look, curiosity being one of my worst traits, I found I couldn't help myself.
I gasped when I saw who lay in the bed. His long pale hair was neatly brushed and tucked beneath him, though his flesh was sallow it still held life, and those harsh blue eyes stared coldly up at the ceiling. Lucius Malfoy. Had I not been in shock, I would have run.
"I see you have met my father, He's mellowed since the last time you saw him." Draco said approaching.
"I didn't mean…I'm sorry, I just thought…" I stammered.
"No, no, it's quite alright."
I swallowed hard and watched him slowly pace around the bed, eyes hard and shining with hatred.
"What is he doing here? I thought he died in Azkaban." I asked finally finding the voice to make an entire sentence.
"In many ways he did. However, a Dementors kiss is not deadly, not in the strictest sense. It reduces you to a vegetable like state. My father arranged, prior to his imprisonment, that should he be captured and given this punishment, his family would be given his remains to care for until the time of his death."
I frowned at this, "So you care for him?"
"Oh yes, Father and I have become quite close." He laid his hand over the frail hand of his father and smiled at me sadly.
"Draco, he sent the aurors here that night, he framed you so he could escape." The words came out harsher than I intended.
The man before me seemed to pull himself up taller and I watched his hand stray to pet the white hair of the lifeless husk on the bed.
"None of that matters, Hermione." He whispered.
"What do you mean? Of course it matters. He's the reason your son has no mother." I cried.
"He is still my father."
I looked at him confused. In part I agreed with him, the man was his father and could do no damage in his current state, however I also remembered the Fires of Hogsmead. I remembered the murders. I remembered watching Draco beg for the life of his son.
He seemed to take little notice of me now, stood gently smoothing his father's hair, eyes still glossy with anger. However, he did see my eyes stray to his left arm.
"I am not a death eater." He growled and ripped his sleeve up to bare his flesh.
"I didn't think you were, not really." I replied quickly.
He sighed and took my arm, leading me back to the office. I went without argument and sat quietly on the couch once again.
"I apologize for my harshness. I grow weary of the curious glances and accusatory stares." He muttered sitting next to me, stretching his legs out before him in a moment of tranquility.
"Is Bane okay?" I asked.
All of his inhibitions seemed to be gone, where before he was stiff and formal, he seemed now to simply be tired. His arms crossed and he sighed again.
"Just a mix up of potion ingredients. Silly boy gave himself rabbit ears. It's easy enough to fix though. Pip tends to panic when things happen to my son. She's the closest thing to a mother he has ever had and views herself in that role more than I should let her." He explained with a half-hearted smile.
"I'm sorry…" I began but he stopped me.
"Enough of that. Lets discuss what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Alright." I agreed.
"I want to be very clear though, I have no love for the others in your group. I am not telling you this because of some grand desire to do the right thing. I am going to tell you this because I owe you, and the debt is so large I can never repay it completely, but I am trying. I have no wish to see the horrors we lived through repeat themselves. And I have no wish to see something happen to you. But I am not as noble as you wish me to be." He sat forward and looked at me intently.
I blushed at his mention of a debt. That was not at all how I saw things.
"You don't owe me anything. What happened then was wrong. I couldn't let them kill you for something your father did, and I certainly couldn't let them kill the child." I replied.
His grey eyes met mine.
"You didn't have to do anything. You saved my life and the life of my child, no matter how you look at it I owe you more than I could ever repay. I am still a Malfoy. Never has a Malfoy not repaid a debt, of any kind."
I nodded and waited for him to continue.
"My son spends a great amount of time with his grandmother, my mother. Though she is growing old she remains as connected as in her prime. She hears things and knows things that I can only guess at, and she tells most of them to my son."
I nodded, hearing the edge in his voice at the mention of his mother.
"He in turn tells me things. I was informed this morning that my mother said there would be great changes coming. She mentioned Potter, and your husband and Longbottom. Bane was less than forthcoming with information, but I managed to extract that perhaps it had something to do with your children."
"The children?" I asked feeling sick to my stomach.
"I don't know exactly what she said, but Bane seemed to think that, as he put it 'the Potter line would end.' You see my dilemma."
I nodded and frowned worriedly.
"You need to tell Harry this." I said quickly making a decision that no one was going to like.
"I was hoping you would do that." He replied.
"No. He won't listen to me, you need to come with me."
"And risk being killed before I was able to speak a word? No."
"Yes. Harry needs to know this and I won't let him hurt you."
"You are willing to let me know your secrets? Son of Lucius Malfoy and suspected death eater." He sounded unbelieving.
"Yes."
For a long moment he was silent. At last he stood and helped me to my feet.
"I'll go, but I must bring Bane with me." He said.
"Fine. That's fine, just get him and we'll get going."
Lolua- if you would like there is a timeline available, may help with your notes. Also, if you like Neville here you should go and read the companion pieces by Dragonsbane1611. I asked her to write the background of Neville and Luna and she has done an amazing job. Also if you liked the song Ivy sang, the entire thing is by Dragonsbane and she would be more than happy to send you the recorded musical version. And as for changing Neville to make him sexier, there was no need, he's amazing as is.
The One Reviewer- thanks. Hope to see you review again.
Jaime- thanks for reviewing. I love Ginny and Harry too. I swear things get better, but it's a long road to get there and things are going to get much worse first. There is also a song available for H/G in this story. Just ask Dragonsbane to send you the link and you can listen to it. It's very good.
To everyone who is reading out there, please review. Nothing makes my day like a review. And thanks to you all for reviewing. Please go and look at Dragonsbane's stories though. They are fantastic and explain a lot of the background. Any questions…. Email me.
(Neville)
"They really did a job on it, didn't they?" Hermione said, dumping a large armful of leaves into the trash.
I had suggested that we simply ditch the project and clear out the place, but Hermione would have none of it. She insisted on picking up each plant by hand, cooing over it and setting it neatly on a shelf. I followed her lead, admiring her care of the vegetation. Several of the more delicate species were in need of replanting, and more than one plant had to be thrown out.
I watched her sweep another pile of leaves into her arms and dump them in the trash. Using a spell would have been quicker but I had always been skittish of using magic on my stock. Occasionally a plant had magical properties that reacted poorly to spells. So it was back to manual labor for the two of us.
"Yeah, at least they left me a few things." I muttered.
"Don't worry, we'll figure out who did it." She assured me with a squeeze to my shoulder.
I smiled back at her sadly and continued pressing soil around the flutterby bushes.
"You don't have to stay, you can go back home if you want." I offered.
"No, Ron and the kids can manage, you need the help more." She answered.
I sighed and wished that she would change her mind. If ever I wanted to be alone it was now. Seeing the shambles of my life around me was not a moment I would have chosen to share. Coming back had taken effort, the sight of the devastation made me sick to my stomach, Hermione simply went to work.
There was no doubt that I appreciated her help, I probably couldn't have done it on my own, but that was a lesson I would have liked to learn on my own. I wanted so much to sweep up the broken memories and dreams myself, instead she was doing it for me.
"Thanks." I managed and stood up from the bushes.
They shook their thanks and I plucked a few dead leaves from their branches. Hermione was humming behind me and I was reminded of something I was trying very hard to forget. The break-in would have broken her heart and I couldn't take the pain of that. I refused to think of my wife.
"You might want to check the back room, I've not had the courage to go." Hermione said honestly.
I nodded and stepped over several piles of broken limbs to get there, the door opened at my touch. I sighed at the continued ruin of my store and leaned heavily against the doorframe. Although it seemed not to be as bad as the front gallery, I found I lacked the energy to tackle it. Instead I slowly walked to the center of the room and surveyed it all quietly. A sort of half sob escaped me and I sat down on the cold cement. I refused to cry. Refused to blubber. So I sat and looked about me with growing sadness.
"Neville, are you okay, what happened?" Hermione asked kneeling next to me.
I shook my head and began to shred a leaf between my fingers.
"It's not so bad, most of it can be saved. Come on, get up." She tried again and tugged on my arm.
"It's just…" I started and never finished.
"You can't just give up on something, not this far into it." She exclaimed.
I grimaced as her words rang familiar. I could still feel the cold earth beneath me and hear the panic in Ron's voice as he brought me back from the brink of death.
"You're right." I whispered and stood.
"Good. Now, you may want to have a look at the tentacula, it didn't even hiss at me when I entered the room." She pointed to the corner.
I nodded and ventured over there. Of course she was right, several of its tentacles had been broken, it lay limp, only hissing half heartedly as I inspected it's wounds. Biting my lip I reached into my pocket and pulled out a roll of gauze, gently I wrapped the broken limbs and fussed over it until finally it's hiss grew stronger and it waved the tip of a tentacle at me in gratitude.
We spent the next few hours bandaging stems and snipping broken branches. Hermione continued to hum quietly, and for a moment I allowed myself to slip back to simpler times. If I closed my eyes I could see her swaying lightly while she tended the plants, the sun shining on her hair, lighting it like gold, those jewel bright eyes gleaming happily. Yet, despite my efforts another thought came to me. My dreams tickled the edge of my mind. Twisted sheets, copper hair tangled in my fingers, small teeth nipping at my neck, the taste of those rosy lips.
"Are you okay?" Hermione asked again as I shook myself.
"Yeah, just lost track of time." I lied with a half smile.
"Me too. Are you hungry?" She asked leaning the broom against the wall.
As I opened my mouth to answer her a large dark owl swooped through the open window and landed on the desk. I frowned and approached it carefully. The large black eyes swiveled in my direction and I noticed the seal on the letter it carried. Malfoy.
"Must be lost." I said and tried to shoo it away.
"Who is it from?" She inquired, joining me.
"Draco Malfoy." I said and looked at her for answers.
Trembling slightly she took the parchment and unfolded it. Her eyes scanned over the words and her eyebrows joined in a frown.
"Do you mind if I go? I'm sorry to abandon you here, but I've got to show this to Ron." She explained, tucking the letter away in her pocket.
"Sure. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. I think so. I've just got to tell Ron something." She repeated and before I could answer, she had disapparated.
The owl hooted once at me and then flew off as mysteriously as it had arrived. Confused I sat down in my chair and sighed. It seemed lately that everyone had a secret life. Ginny was fighting with Harry, Hermione was associating with Malfoys, and I, I was in love with Harry's wife. Again the dreams flickered across the backs of my eyelids. This time I let them come and laid my head on the desk, knowing it was wrong. Still, I couldn't help but think how wonderful it would have been to kiss her the night before.
(Harry)
My head was hurting again, probably from gripping my hair so much, I was almost certain I had left handfuls of it on the floor of my borrowed room at Grimmauld Place. After undressing I hadn't had the energy to dig for nightclothes, so I slipped beneath the covers wearing just my boxers. Hours passed like centuries and I lay sleepless, staring at the darkened ceiling, wishing I could clear my head of the horrible thoughts coming to it. Would she take me back? If we separated who would get Lily? If she got Lily would I ever get to see her? Would I want to see Lily? I sat up and began to pull at my hair again. Without thinking I snapped my fingers and a pack of muggle cigarettes dropped onto the bed sheets. I hadn't smoked in years, stopping because Ginny asked me to. Now I couldn't resist the craving.
Leaning back against the headboard I used my wand as a lighter and inhaled deeply, savoring every bit of it. The smoke surrounded me and I enjoyed watching it swirl in the air, making shapes, pictures, I'd wave my hand and make them disappear. Eventually my nerves calmed and I simply lay back taking pleasure in the scent of the smoke. Another hour had passed and still I wasn't tired. Grumbling I cleaned up the cigarette butts and banished the conjured ashtray. The serene effect of the nicotine wore off quickly and I was back to pulling my hair again. I sat like that, with my knees up to my chest gripping my hair in painful handfuls until dawn.
"You've been smoking again." Ginny said absently as I examined a broken table leg.
I didn't respond, pretending I hadn't heard her.
"You're going to kill yourself, those things are bad for you." She went on.
There was a cruel retort on the edge of my tongue but I bit it back, reminding myself that she was worried about me, not attacking.
"Just don't do it around Lily."
"I won't." I replied quietly.
The table leg was shattered and beyond repair so I placed it in the pile of things we couldn't fix and moved on to one of the chairs.
"You don't have to stay and help." She said.
I looked up to read her expression but she was trying to put a picture frame back together.
"It's my house too." I replied.
"I mean if you are uncomfortable I'll understand, I won't hold it against you. I'm sure Ron and Neville could use the help."
Slowly I stood, realizing that it was I who was making her uncomfortable, I made her nervous. Softly I stepped towards her. She glanced at me once but went back to the picture frame.
"Do you want me to leave?" I asked in a low voice.
"If you want to." She replied.
"No, Ginny, I asked if you wanted me to leave." I repeated growing closer to her.
She didn't answer, merely looked at the frame. I watched her tense as I grew close and jump when I jerked the frame from her hands.
"Do you want me to leave?" I once again repeated the question.
"A little." She whispered averting her eyes.
It was frustrating that suddenly she could not meet my gaze.
"Why?"
"It's hard watching you sit here, knowing you won't be here tonight."
I laughed harshly at her skewed logic, "That is your doing."
She was silent for a moment and I waited, watching different emotions cross her face, giving her time to pick one.
"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier seeing you here as if nothing has happened." She hissed finally deciding on anger.
"If you wanted me here, why did you send me away?" I responded keeping my voice low so as not to scare my daughter in the other room.
"I just got so tired of never knowing how you felt about me." She growled.
I could feel my own anger growing rapidly.
"You really want to know?" I growled.
She nodded mutely, her brown eyes never leaving my green ones.
"Inadequate."
"What?"
"I'm not good enough for you, haven't been in a long time."
"That's not true." She whispered with tears in her voice.
I took sick satisfaction in her misery.
"Every since you earned yourself a scar, I haven't been good enough. You push me away, hold me at arms length and ignore my efforts to comfort you. I try to hold you and tell you how I feel, but you don't hear me. If I seem distant it's your doing. And if you are lonely right now, that's your own damn fault. YOU did this. So you can deal with the consequences."
"Harry…" She started with tears coming to her eyes.
"Just remember that I love you, and that's what hurts the most." I said reaching out to touch her cheek.
My fingers grazed the puckered skin of her scar and I jerked back as if burned. That one mark caused this.
"But…" She started, a tear escaping.
"I won't set foot in this house again." I told her, my voice hard.
"I didn't say that." She cried, angrily clenching her fists.
"You say you need to work things out for yourself, tell me when you get done. I'll be around." I shrugged and disapparated.
Seething as I appeared in the shadows near Grimmauld Place, I leaned against the brick or a building and caught my breath. My hands were shaking with anger, I clenched them to hide it before ringing the bell. Remus didn't seem at all startled to see me and moved so I could come in.
"Did you get everything cleaned up?" He asked.
I glared at him, turning away and aiming a hard kick at the stone wall. My toes burst into pain and I stumbled back with a gasp. Remus caught me and held me upright until I could stand again, the ache faded, leaving only a burning soreness. He asked no questions, simply shouldered my arm and half carried me out of the foyer into the living area. I landed heavily on the couch and slowly began to peel off my shoe and sock to inspect the damage I had done.
"I'm guessing things didn't go well." He stated, sitting across from me in another chair.
I muttered something as I prodded my red and swollen toes.
"What was that?" He asked, leaning closer.
"Fucking wall is hard." I replied with another glare.
"Well, it is stone. Perhaps you should have chosen another target." He suggested.
We sat in silence and I decided that my toes weren't broken, which was good, because I had no energy to go to the hospital and get them fixed.
"Are you willing to tell me what happened? Or are you going to hurt yourself some more?"
I bit my tongue to keep it quiet and leaned back, gently placing my foot on the coffee table in front of me.
"She didn't want me there." I said, trying to avoid his piercing gaze.
"You should have expected that."
"But she didn't seem mad at first, I thought if I came, maybe we could make up or something. I thought if I helped her…she'd see that I still wanted to be there." I was having trouble putting my thoughts into words.
Most of it was a lie. I had simply wanted to be near her. I wanted to pretend she hadn't left me.
"She didn't see it that way?"
"It was so stupid though, there was no reason for it. She just told me I could go if I was uncomfortable and I snapped. I didn't want to go, but she wanted me to. She told me she wanted me to." I wasn't going to cry.
"I guess you didn't."
I shook my head and roughly rubbed my eyes, trying hard to cover my tears.
"Just give her the space she wants, let her work it out, maybe she'll come around." He said quietly.
"Why are women so damnably complicated?" I growled and gripped my hair again.
"I've never been married so I don't think I can answer that."
I had a thought suddenly and looked at him curiously, my tears momentarily forgotten.
"Yeah but you and Tonks are…right?" I inquired.
He laughed and leaned back in his chair, longish greying hair falling into his face.
"No. We aren't." He smiled.
I chuckled half heartedly, "Least I'm not the only one who isn't getting any."
"Come on then, we have to get some owls sent before the meeting tonight." Remus said and stood up.
"Yeah, could I get some ice for my toes?" I asked timidly.
He laughed again and went to find me some.
(Ron)
Only Mia cried when she saw the damage. The others, including Neville's twins, simply sighed and went to work, Meshach helping the girls with heavier things and watching to be sure no one got hurt. I watched him proudly as I hushed my youngest, her sobbing cries seemed to echo in the house. One arm curled under her, holding her close while the other rubbed her back comfortingly.
"It's okay. We'll get it all cleaned up, I promise." I shushed as I paced the room.
By the time she was calm enough to set on the ground the children had made a large pile of things I needed to go through. I sighed as I lifted the coffee table up and inspected the damage. Brandishing my wand I did a repairing charm and watched the crack close up. Mia giggled, watching me and clapped her hands.
"Do that again, Daddy." She begged and pulled at my sleeve.
I grinned, somehow I didn't think I'd ever get used to be called daddy. It would always make me smile.
"Don't fret, I'll be doing that a lot I think." I assured her.
Some things were beyond hope and I simply banished them before Hermione came home and showed me up with her magical repairing skills. She'd be upset of course, but that was fine, I'd dealt with that before.
"Daddy, what's that on the wall?" Another small voice asked.
Mab was looking at the writing. Her big brown eyes were shining with curiosity and I regretted not having taken care of that first.
"Nothing, just some graffiti, go help your brother."
"What does it say?"
"Nothing, do as I told you." I commanded and pointed her to the other room.
She looked at me with a familiar gleam in her eyes and I knew that whatever she was going to do, it wasn't going to be what I told her. I hung my head, exasperated, knowing full well that it was my own fault she was so impish. If I had called her Persephone as Hermione wanted me to she would have been just as rule abiding as her mother, but I insisted on another name. There was no way I was calling my daughter "Queen of the Underworld." She needed another name, something shorter and less likely to be made fun of. So I chose Mab, who as luck would have it, was queen of the fairies.
"Mab." I said warningly.
She giggled and scampered from the room. I laughed a little myself.
The time seemed to pass by quickly and just as I was about to call break a loud pop made me jump.
"Ron?" My wife called.
I turned and smiled at her. Her mouth was open with news of something but she stopped and looked around.
"Where is the other coffee table?" She asked.
"Oh…I uh…couldn't fix it." I said nervously.
"Why didn't you wait to let me try?"
"Just didn't occur to me. What's wrong?" I said quickly changing the subject.
She shook her head and thrust a letter at me. The seal was Malfoy.
"Where did this come from?" I queried.
"An owl brought it this afternoon. Read it."
I did. My eyes traveled back up to meet hers.
"You aren't going to meet him are you?" I frowned.
"Ron."
"What? You aren't. I won't let you." I stated firmly.
She looked incredulously at me and snorted.
"I'm going."
"No you aren't. I don't trust him, I don't want you going."
"You don't have to trust him. I do." She whispered.
"Why on earth is that?"
"I rescued him when I could have let him die, I have to believe that he has become a better person since then. And if he thinks he knows something the would benefit us, I'm going to go. You can't stop me, not this time."
I frowned and handed the letter back to her.
"I didn't see everything you saw that night. I'm glad I didn't. You do what you have to do, I won't be angry." I took her hand in mine and squeezed it.
"Thank you. I love you so much." She grabbed me into a quick hug.
"I love you too. Be careful." I warned grimly.
She was gone before I finished talking.
"Was that Mum?" Meshach asked entering the room.
"Yeah, she'll be back later, have you finished your room?" I asked.
"Almost. Are we stopping to eat?"
"Oh," I had forgotten about food, "Yeah, lets see what we have."
Despite a mighty effort to forget what had just happened I worried about her the rest of the day.
(Hermione)
The house brought back many painful memories. Flames, screams, and the press of many angry people. I cringed knocking on the door, wishing that I had stayed with Ron as he asked, wishing I had just ignored the letter and gone on my way. Yet, I knew I couldn't have done it. No matter what his history, the man deserved the benefit of the doubt. I had to believe that he could change, that under right circumstances he could be a good person.
"I thought you wouldn't come." He said opening the door.
I said nothing but entered when he bade me. My eyes wondered over the high ceilings and tiled floors, I could see in many places where it had been repaired, though every inch was immaculately clean.
"Thank you for coming. I know it wasn't easy." He began, the slow drawl from our youth was gone from his voice.
"Of course I came."
He smiled a sad smile and motioned for me to follow him. The many tapestries that hung along the walls did little to muffle our footsteps, or my nervous breathing.
"Come, we'll speak in my office."
He opened the door and I walked in. A desk sat at one end of the room, while two couches lined the walls. I found a seat and waited while he shut the door behind us. There was still a grace to his movements that seemed to belong to all the Malfoy family. Not a hair was out of place, his nails were all manicured and his clothing was impeccably unwrinkled. Yet, he was different than any Malfoy I had ever come in contact with. Something in the way he spoke or the expressions on his face made him stand out.
"As time may be short I will come straight to the point, I have recently been made aware of certain circumstances that have relevance to you and your friends." He paused a moment on friends as if another words came to mind.
"What do you mean?"
"Excuse me, Master Draco, but Young Master Bane tells Pip to find you, sir." A high voice squeaked from the door we had just entered from.
I turned and found small female house elf standing there wringing her bony hands. Long ago I would have been outraged by her presence. It was unethical to keep creatures like that simply to serve you. However, she seemed to be treated well, her pillow case was clean and I noticed little bits of embroidery around the edges.
"What has he done now?" Draco asked slightly angered.
"Oh, it's terrible, Pip doesn't know how to fix it." She squeaked again and kept wringing her hands.
"If you will excuse me for a moment, I'll return once I sort this out." He said nodding to me and following the little creature out of the room.
I was left sitting in his office. My robes did little to keep me warm in the drafty room, so I stood to walk around a little. Bookshelves lined the walls behind the desk and I curiously went to inspect them. Never could resist a collection of books, so I read a few of the titles, choosing one to look at closer. But before I had even read the first page something else caught my eye. A door off to the side, partially hidden by a large potted plant.
I knew better the entire time I moved the plant and stood in front of the door. I shouldn't open it, it wasn't mine, this wasn't my house. Yet, my hand took hold of the knob and turned it. The room beyond of was like something out of a nightmare, stark white walls with black tiles on the floor, the sun shone brightly through a window to the side and illuminated the bed in the center of the room. I stepped forward to get a better look, curiosity being one of my worst traits, I found I couldn't help myself.
I gasped when I saw who lay in the bed. His long pale hair was neatly brushed and tucked beneath him, though his flesh was sallow it still held life, and those harsh blue eyes stared coldly up at the ceiling. Lucius Malfoy. Had I not been in shock, I would have run.
"I see you have met my father, He's mellowed since the last time you saw him." Draco said approaching.
"I didn't mean…I'm sorry, I just thought…" I stammered.
"No, no, it's quite alright."
I swallowed hard and watched him slowly pace around the bed, eyes hard and shining with hatred.
"What is he doing here? I thought he died in Azkaban." I asked finally finding the voice to make an entire sentence.
"In many ways he did. However, a Dementors kiss is not deadly, not in the strictest sense. It reduces you to a vegetable like state. My father arranged, prior to his imprisonment, that should he be captured and given this punishment, his family would be given his remains to care for until the time of his death."
I frowned at this, "So you care for him?"
"Oh yes, Father and I have become quite close." He laid his hand over the frail hand of his father and smiled at me sadly.
"Draco, he sent the aurors here that night, he framed you so he could escape." The words came out harsher than I intended.
The man before me seemed to pull himself up taller and I watched his hand stray to pet the white hair of the lifeless husk on the bed.
"None of that matters, Hermione." He whispered.
"What do you mean? Of course it matters. He's the reason your son has no mother." I cried.
"He is still my father."
I looked at him confused. In part I agreed with him, the man was his father and could do no damage in his current state, however I also remembered the Fires of Hogsmead. I remembered the murders. I remembered watching Draco beg for the life of his son.
He seemed to take little notice of me now, stood gently smoothing his father's hair, eyes still glossy with anger. However, he did see my eyes stray to his left arm.
"I am not a death eater." He growled and ripped his sleeve up to bare his flesh.
"I didn't think you were, not really." I replied quickly.
He sighed and took my arm, leading me back to the office. I went without argument and sat quietly on the couch once again.
"I apologize for my harshness. I grow weary of the curious glances and accusatory stares." He muttered sitting next to me, stretching his legs out before him in a moment of tranquility.
"Is Bane okay?" I asked.
All of his inhibitions seemed to be gone, where before he was stiff and formal, he seemed now to simply be tired. His arms crossed and he sighed again.
"Just a mix up of potion ingredients. Silly boy gave himself rabbit ears. It's easy enough to fix though. Pip tends to panic when things happen to my son. She's the closest thing to a mother he has ever had and views herself in that role more than I should let her." He explained with a half-hearted smile.
"I'm sorry…" I began but he stopped me.
"Enough of that. Lets discuss what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Alright." I agreed.
"I want to be very clear though, I have no love for the others in your group. I am not telling you this because of some grand desire to do the right thing. I am going to tell you this because I owe you, and the debt is so large I can never repay it completely, but I am trying. I have no wish to see the horrors we lived through repeat themselves. And I have no wish to see something happen to you. But I am not as noble as you wish me to be." He sat forward and looked at me intently.
I blushed at his mention of a debt. That was not at all how I saw things.
"You don't owe me anything. What happened then was wrong. I couldn't let them kill you for something your father did, and I certainly couldn't let them kill the child." I replied.
His grey eyes met mine.
"You didn't have to do anything. You saved my life and the life of my child, no matter how you look at it I owe you more than I could ever repay. I am still a Malfoy. Never has a Malfoy not repaid a debt, of any kind."
I nodded and waited for him to continue.
"My son spends a great amount of time with his grandmother, my mother. Though she is growing old she remains as connected as in her prime. She hears things and knows things that I can only guess at, and she tells most of them to my son."
I nodded, hearing the edge in his voice at the mention of his mother.
"He in turn tells me things. I was informed this morning that my mother said there would be great changes coming. She mentioned Potter, and your husband and Longbottom. Bane was less than forthcoming with information, but I managed to extract that perhaps it had something to do with your children."
"The children?" I asked feeling sick to my stomach.
"I don't know exactly what she said, but Bane seemed to think that, as he put it 'the Potter line would end.' You see my dilemma."
I nodded and frowned worriedly.
"You need to tell Harry this." I said quickly making a decision that no one was going to like.
"I was hoping you would do that." He replied.
"No. He won't listen to me, you need to come with me."
"And risk being killed before I was able to speak a word? No."
"Yes. Harry needs to know this and I won't let him hurt you."
"You are willing to let me know your secrets? Son of Lucius Malfoy and suspected death eater." He sounded unbelieving.
"Yes."
For a long moment he was silent. At last he stood and helped me to my feet.
"I'll go, but I must bring Bane with me." He said.
"Fine. That's fine, just get him and we'll get going."