Attack of the Mary Sue:Chapter 3 Potions, Malfoy and ::gasp:: SIRIUS
'Mione entered the potions room and made her way to Her, Ron, and Harry's usual table near the back. She was about to take the seat between them when Ron screamed,
"NO! THAT SEATS TAKEN!"
"Sorry 'Mione," Harry added. "We like Mary Sue better."
Mione trudged off and took a seat next to Neville. At exactly 7 minutes after Snape had started his lesson the doors flung open. Mary Sue walked elegantly in, fashionably late of course, so everyone could goggle at her. Immediately when she entered everybody including Snape, Excluding Mione dropped to their knees chanting "We are not worthy" Mione sat there and as usual looked away in disgust as Mary Sue made her way, waving and blowing kisses, to her seat between Harry and Ron. When she was seated the whole class got to their feet again and Snape returned to his lesson as though nothing had happened. He began writing recipes on the board and droning on about nothing. Mione and Mary Sue seemed to be the only students left still paying attention.
"...And so class, if you mix a bit of powdered gnome dung into your beer it will reduce the hangover and keep you drunk for half an hour longer." Snape finished
"Actually," Mary Sue spoke up. "I believe its powdered bowtruckle dung, gnome dung would turn your ears purple and cause you to perform a never ending chicken dance."
Snape turned to his desk and ruffled through a few papers.
"I believe your correct Miss Mary Sue, Extraordinary work, I believe this calls for 5000 points to Gryffindor, Even though I loath the house and all who are in it, and would never dream of ever awarding points to them."
"Great! Say would you like to run off with me to the oh so convenient-even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school- but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session- JANITORS CLOSET, and "Go over notes"?" She asked
"Well if by "Go over notes" you mean a nauseating and illegal make out session then sure" he answered running over to her, scooping her into his arms, and running off.
The rest of the class just stared, speechless, with jealousy, well all
except for Mione who of course, looked away in disgust.
Hermione made her way out to the courtyard for lunch. The whole school had to eat outside for the next couple of days due to the fact that the great hall had been flooded with drool because of Mary Sue's appearance that morning. She made her way over to Ron and Harry hoping she wouldn't be excluded this time. The two of them seemed very angry she noticed as she got closer. "Hey guys. What's up?" she asked "Can you believe her?" Ron asked Harry. "I know, what the hell is up with her?" Harry replied Hermione already having guessed who they were talking about scanned around for Mary Sue. She was over the other side of the couryard flaunting herself in front of Draco Malfoy, with the whole school watching her put on the whole "I'm a skimpy bimbo, even though I make straight A's show." That seems to work so well on guys. Soon enough she led him off. Of course everyone knew where they were going seeing as just about every single guy in the school and half the professors had been to the oh so convenient-even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school- but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session- JANITORS CLOSET with her.
After Mary Sue left lunch returned to pretty much normal. Friends started talking again and people actually had the chance to ::gasp:: eat. That is until the doors leading from the school to the courtyard burst open. A man stood there who looked familiar to only three students seated outside. "WHERE IS SHE?!?" he yelled. "IS SHE HERE?!?!" Ron Harry and Mione rushed over to the man. "SIRIUS!!!" They exclaimed in unison. "We thought you were dead." Said Harry moving forward to embrace his godfather. "Don't touch me people might get ideas and one day oh I don't know write horribly bad stories about how you and I fuck every night then post them online for the world to see and for other perverts to get kicks out of." Sirius said shaking him off. "Oh, right, sorry." Harry apologized. "Besides," Sirius continued. "I'm here looking for a girl the most beautiful girl I've ever seen..." He went into a long, long, long description of a girl that could be no one else than Mary Sue. -Three hours later-
"...Oh and her hair," Sirius raved "Don't get me started on her hair. It's just the- "Ok Sirius we get it." Hermione said cutting him off, she had already fallen asleep four times as was not about to do it for a fifth. Harry and Ron however were hanging on to his every word. "You're talking about Mary Sue. Aren't you?" Ron asked dreamily. "I didn't get her name." Sirius told him. "But she's the one who saved me. The one I owe my life to, My soul mate." "Yea uh-huh, well your "soul mate" happens to be in the oh so convenient- even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school-but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session-JANITORS CLOSET with Draco Malfoy at the moment." She told him. "SHE'S WHERE?" Sirius roared. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!" and with that he ran off like a mad man in search of this oh so convenient-even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school-but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session- JANITORS CLOSET.
A/N: hmm I don't think this chapter is that good but that's gonna be ok. Hope you liked it anyway but review and tell me what you think.
'Mione entered the potions room and made her way to Her, Ron, and Harry's usual table near the back. She was about to take the seat between them when Ron screamed,
"NO! THAT SEATS TAKEN!"
"Sorry 'Mione," Harry added. "We like Mary Sue better."
Mione trudged off and took a seat next to Neville. At exactly 7 minutes after Snape had started his lesson the doors flung open. Mary Sue walked elegantly in, fashionably late of course, so everyone could goggle at her. Immediately when she entered everybody including Snape, Excluding Mione dropped to their knees chanting "We are not worthy" Mione sat there and as usual looked away in disgust as Mary Sue made her way, waving and blowing kisses, to her seat between Harry and Ron. When she was seated the whole class got to their feet again and Snape returned to his lesson as though nothing had happened. He began writing recipes on the board and droning on about nothing. Mione and Mary Sue seemed to be the only students left still paying attention.
"...And so class, if you mix a bit of powdered gnome dung into your beer it will reduce the hangover and keep you drunk for half an hour longer." Snape finished
"Actually," Mary Sue spoke up. "I believe its powdered bowtruckle dung, gnome dung would turn your ears purple and cause you to perform a never ending chicken dance."
Snape turned to his desk and ruffled through a few papers.
"I believe your correct Miss Mary Sue, Extraordinary work, I believe this calls for 5000 points to Gryffindor, Even though I loath the house and all who are in it, and would never dream of ever awarding points to them."
"Great! Say would you like to run off with me to the oh so convenient-even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school- but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session- JANITORS CLOSET, and "Go over notes"?" She asked
"Well if by "Go over notes" you mean a nauseating and illegal make out session then sure" he answered running over to her, scooping her into his arms, and running off.
The rest of the class just stared, speechless, with jealousy, well all
except for Mione who of course, looked away in disgust.
Hermione made her way out to the courtyard for lunch. The whole school had to eat outside for the next couple of days due to the fact that the great hall had been flooded with drool because of Mary Sue's appearance that morning. She made her way over to Ron and Harry hoping she wouldn't be excluded this time. The two of them seemed very angry she noticed as she got closer. "Hey guys. What's up?" she asked "Can you believe her?" Ron asked Harry. "I know, what the hell is up with her?" Harry replied Hermione already having guessed who they were talking about scanned around for Mary Sue. She was over the other side of the couryard flaunting herself in front of Draco Malfoy, with the whole school watching her put on the whole "I'm a skimpy bimbo, even though I make straight A's show." That seems to work so well on guys. Soon enough she led him off. Of course everyone knew where they were going seeing as just about every single guy in the school and half the professors had been to the oh so convenient-even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school- but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session- JANITORS CLOSET with her.
After Mary Sue left lunch returned to pretty much normal. Friends started talking again and people actually had the chance to ::gasp:: eat. That is until the doors leading from the school to the courtyard burst open. A man stood there who looked familiar to only three students seated outside. "WHERE IS SHE?!?" he yelled. "IS SHE HERE?!?!" Ron Harry and Mione rushed over to the man. "SIRIUS!!!" They exclaimed in unison. "We thought you were dead." Said Harry moving forward to embrace his godfather. "Don't touch me people might get ideas and one day oh I don't know write horribly bad stories about how you and I fuck every night then post them online for the world to see and for other perverts to get kicks out of." Sirius said shaking him off. "Oh, right, sorry." Harry apologized. "Besides," Sirius continued. "I'm here looking for a girl the most beautiful girl I've ever seen..." He went into a long, long, long description of a girl that could be no one else than Mary Sue. -Three hours later-
"...Oh and her hair," Sirius raved "Don't get me started on her hair. It's just the- "Ok Sirius we get it." Hermione said cutting him off, she had already fallen asleep four times as was not about to do it for a fifth. Harry and Ron however were hanging on to his every word. "You're talking about Mary Sue. Aren't you?" Ron asked dreamily. "I didn't get her name." Sirius told him. "But she's the one who saved me. The one I owe my life to, My soul mate." "Yea uh-huh, well your "soul mate" happens to be in the oh so convenient- even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school-but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session-JANITORS CLOSET with Draco Malfoy at the moment." She told him. "SHE'S WHERE?" Sirius roared. "I'LL KILL HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!" and with that he ran off like a mad man in search of this oh so convenient-even though we have no use for it-and there's not even a janitor at this school-but for some totally ridiculous reason there just happens to be one when ever a Mary Sue and someone feel the need for a disgusting make out session- JANITORS CLOSET.
A/N: hmm I don't think this chapter is that good but that's gonna be ok. Hope you liked it anyway but review and tell me what you think.