Chapter 3 YEHAW!!

A/N: I have noticed 2 things in my horrible excuse for a story: 1. Spelling and Grammar mistakes. and 2. My chapters are too short for my liking. The problem is I only notice these horrible mistakes after I post chapters!! GASP!! I do reread before I slap a new chapter on but I guess that maybe I'm blind or just stupid...HELP! Oh ya and I don't know where this story is going. I'm trying to make it funny. Is it working?? If not I'll have to take drastic measures like throwing in a Dobby/Hermione romance or something. Gross but hey do what ya gotta do and I might not have to do it. By the way you don't have to read this Im just trying to make my chapters longer because short ones annoy me. BIBBLE

"Hello. My name is unfortunately Neville Longnbottom. And I simply MUST say that I LOOOOOVE pound cake! My best friend Clifford the Big Red Dog and I have some breaking news. We are standing here live in the Gryffindoor common room where an attack has takien place just this morning. (AN: Someone tell me how to spell that evil word, Gryffindoor before I throw a hissy fit!) It seems that all the people in this house, except me of course, have been hexed. The source of the attack has not yet been determined but officials are on the case. It seems the Headmaster has fled the country and it is possible that he will not return for fear of 'cutting the cheese.' Well I'm Neville Longbottom (AN: theres history behind that name!) and 'That's how the cookie crumbles' Goodnight"

"Turn off the telly will you please Goyle old chap?!" One Draco Malfoy said from his place in an armchair.

"Uhh...I don't know how dude can you do it?" Goyle replied stupidly.

"Of course not! I'm a Malfoy who doesn't know a thing or two about muggle appliances or even how to turn them off!" Draco started shouting things at the poor innocent television and pointing at it with his wand. "Why the hell is this thing in here anyways?" he scoffed. (AN:I dont know what scoffed means so bear with me) Silence. Eventually the television was turned of. But not because either of them can read buttons but because they smashed it to bits.

"AHH A MOUSE!!" Crabbe screamed, like small girl and hopped into the air. Draco simply stepped on it and killed it to death. (AN: lol kimp)

"Oooh excitement!" Draco said gayishly. Crabbe is still floating in the air. The three of them then decided to go to dinner.

"I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A WAL-MART SALES ASSOCIATE!" Ron shouted in the Great Hall. Nobody seemed to notice. He was eating alone today. Possibly because all his housemates were still uncontious in the common room. Ron had been saved by his love of shiny things. Just as Dumbledoor came in to hex them all he bent down to grab a shiny object. Thinking the floor was a comfortable place to be, he fell asleep and didn't wake up until dinner time.

"I have an announment to make. Listen up!" It was Madam Pomfrey. "I have some horrible news, as MANY of you know there was an attack on the Gryffindors this morning. We have concluded that it was fatal." Silence. "Fatal means dead." GASP! "THEYRE ALL DEAD! Well except one student and his name is Ronald Weasley." Ron stood up expecting applause but got...nothing.

"I sit and wait does an angel contemplate my fate and do they know the places Where we go when we're grey and old 'cos I've been told that salvation lets their wings unfold So when I'm lying in my bed thoughts running through my head And i feel that love is dead I'm loving angels instead And through it all he offers me protection a lot of love and affection Whether I'm right or wrong and down the waterfall Wherever it may take me I know that life won't break me When I come to call he won't forsake me I'm loving angels instead When I'm feeling weak and my pain walks down a one way street I look above And I know I'll always be blessed with love and as the feeling grows He breathes flesh to my bones and when love is dead I'm loving angels instead And through it all he offers me protection a lot of love and affection Whether I'm right or wrong and down the waterfall Wherever it may take me I know that life won't break me When I come to call he won't forsake me I'm loving angels instead" Ron sang the entire Angels song by Jessica Simpson. (AN: i dont know if anyone sang it before her so bibble) It was one of those akward silence moments.

Ron was walking down the hallway once again alone, humming the tune to 'Tom Sawyer by Rush' when suddenly he fell over. "That was QUITE unexpected!" he exclaimed. But when he got up he found himself in a world of flowers and drugs and worst of all...hippies. After taking a look at his surroundings Ron took a look at his attire. He was not dressed like a hippie (thank god) but in a ladybug costume, the kind little 3 year old kids would wear on their first time trick or treating. (lol try and imagine that) Some music he could not understand started playing loudly in the background and the hippies were dancing around him like clowns. Poor defensless Ron didn't know what was going on so he started dancing like a clown as well. Eventually he started to notice that one of the hippies looked oddly familiar. Somewhat like a high oddly dressed version of...Dumbledoor.

Ron quickly grabbed the old wizard by the arm and took him to a corner. "Proffeser! What are you doing here?" Ron asked slightly dumbfounded.

"Dancing of course Ronald! Are you blind?" He replied.

"Is there a specific reason why I am here? I was just walking and I fell down. What the hell is up!" Ron asked a tad angry.

"Everyone you see here has come because they are running away from something. You see the lady with the really long purple hair? She is cheating on her husband. And that man over there with the abnormally large nose robbed a shitload of banks." Dumbledoor said as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"Two questions sir. Why are you here? And what could I possibly be running away from?" Ron questioned.

"I'll let you in on a not so little secret....The attack on the Gryffindors...that was me." whispered Ernie aka Albus aka Dumbledoor aka the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. (For those of you who didn't know) "As for you my friend you could be running from a life of lonliness, or perhaps a giant bear. You will find out soon enough."

"Whatever! How do I leave this place? It smells odd here. And I would like to change my clothing. This costume is making me itchy.

AN: That is all my fellow idiots...for now. MWUAHAHAHAH cough cough HAHA ha cough Just review.