BURIED
By: Cheryl W
Disclaimer: I don't own The Lord of the Rings or anything in conjunction with the Lord of the Rings nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
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CHAPTER 7
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Moments after Legolas' entrance into the room, Elrohir appeared in the doorway, his glass now only half full, having sloshed the remainder of the liquid in his mad dash after the Mirkwood elf. Seeing Legolas with his head upon Aragorn's shoulder, Elrohir's gaze met Elladan's, the same questions sparked in their eyes.
Stepping into the room, shock tore through Elrohir as he saw that Aragorn's sword was secured upon Legolas' back and his brother's pack was slung over the blond elf's shoulder. Standing behind Legolas, his eyes transfixed upon Aragorn's possessions, Elrohir stammered in confusion, "You wear Estel's pack..and his sword," finding it hard to not misinterpret the strange happenstance. Surely, Legolas was not to blame for his brother's wounded state.
Realizing he could no longer shut out the world and revel alone in his joyous relief at his best friend's survival, Legolas marshaled his emotions, drew in a steadying breath and raised his head from the shoulder of the one he thought lost to him that day. But he did not turn to Elrohir. Instead, his eyes rested unwaveringly upon Aragorn's pale face. With trembling fingers, he touched the man's cheek, reassured by the life he felt flowing under his fingers. Moving his fingers to Aragorn's hair, he lightly brushed the locks still coated with dirt, sickened by the memories it stirred in him.
Dropping his hand, Legolas shut his eyes. Hatred, shame, and angst vied for his attention. He knew from whence the dirt came, what Aragorn had suffered at the hands of another, what fate he himself had failed to protect his friend from.
Legolas' eyes flew open as Elrohir's hand came to rest upon his shoulder. Accepting it as a gentle prompting, Legolas finally responded to the twin's earlier inquiry about Aragorn's possessions. "I came upon his camp," his voice quiet yet raw with emotion as his eyes once again took in Aragorn's every feature. Unbidden, he recalled the frightful clues he had pieced together around that camp. Lightening fast, his fearful eyes swung to Elladan. "How grievous are his wounds?!"
But it was not either of the twins that answered Legolas's panicked question.
"He has two sword wounds, one pierced his right side and the other is a slash down his left," Elrond supplied as he entered the room, striving to sound like the cool efficient healer, not the worried sick father. Coming to stand at the end of Aragorn's bed, Elrond did not know if his guise was believed by the three young elves, for his eyes did not stray to them. Instead, the sight of his youngest child lying in his bed, deathly pale and motionless, stole his entire focus.
Unexpectedly, worry and grief nearly overwhelmed him, as if this was the first time today he had truly realized his son's vulnerable state. As if Elrond the Healer, the one who could not let emotions tremble the hand that stitched his son's terrible wounds, had finally been granted release to morph into Elrond the father, the one whose heart threatened to shatter at the very sight of his wounded son. 'Valar, he looks so young ..so frail.' And he could not hold back his mind's sharp reply, 'because he is.'
Elrond's head snapped up, startled when Legolas whispered in desperation, "But he will recover?"
Meeting the young elf's eyes, Elrond could plainly see the unmasked plea in their blue depths. Looking once again to Aragorn's still form, Elrond vividly recalled the gruesome wounds that marred his son's flesh. After long moments of silence, he answered thickly, "Yes." But he did not qualify his answer further, could not, not when his thoughts were consumed contemplating Legolas' question in a sense the other elf did not intend. Yes, Elrond had faith that Aragorn would recover physically but what of his son's emotional wellbeing? Could that also be made whole once again? Not with herbs and stitches but could it be healed by words, by actions? 'But what words have the power to justify my heartlessness? What actions could I undertake to assuage my past sins? To make Estel certain of my love?' clamored through Elrond, screaming for answers.
Legolas watched Elrond intently as the elf lord's eyes feasted upon the sight of his youngest son. Anguish radiated off the older elf in waves, seemingly belying his word of encouragement regarding Aragorn's health. But Legolas suspected that it was not only his son's wounded state that brought the usually composed elf to such despair. The wood elf's thoughts flew to the letters he had read at Aragorn's camp. Unconsciously his right hand pushed the strap to Aragorn's pack higher upon his shoulder. If Aragorn had arrived in Rivendell with the strength to utter words, Legolas knew with certainty that his friend would have confronted his elven father on the matter of the letters' contents. The letters would not have been forgotten or dismissed by Aragorn...not even after all he had bore this day. No, the words inscribed upon the thin sheets of paper were too deadly a poison to Aragorn's soul.
When Legolas had first read the missives, he thought only of how his friend would have interpreted the words and sentiment of Elrond's letters, of the torment that would grip Aragorn's heart. He had not spared time to reason away Elrond's words himself. That he swore to do later, after he had found Aragorn and eased his friend's anguish by whatever comforting words he could utter. But now his thoughts turned again to the letters, to the words that harshly disregarded compassion, the secret they bore within their finely scripted lines, and the feelings of Arathorn...or his son.
Legolas could not reconcile the letters with the kindhearted, utterly generous elf that he had come to think of as a second father. And yet, the letters bore Elrond's seal and his flowing script. Releasing his desperate grip upon Aragorn's hand, he sat his friend's pack on the floor and, with only a slight hesitation, began to pull the two letters from the dark depths of the pack. Having garnered the attention of all three Rivendell elves, three sets of sharp eyes watched as he pulled the letters free of the pack.
At the sight of the letters, Elrond drew in a sharp intake of breath and both despair and shame seemed to flow over his soul.
Seeing Elrond's reaction to the letters, Legolas felt his falsely harbored hope that the letters were counterfeit fade. For a moment he clutched desperately onto the letters, uncertain if he should relinquish them into the elf lord's care, for truly they were now Aragorn's possessions. But with clarity, he knew that there could be no reconciliation between Aragorn and his father until the worst was known, until Elrond understood what his decision made more than thirty years prior could cost him this day. Holding the letters out to Elrond, Legolas said, his voice quiet, and lacking accusation, "I found these also at Aragorn's camp."
A suffocating silence fell upon the room and no one stirred from their stance.
For all the evil Elrond had faced in his life, the two letters which Legolas offered to him, they alone had the power to chill his very blood. He vaguely remembered taking quill to paper, of quickly composing the missives and beckoning a servant to take each one to Arathorn. And in his heart, he had known he was wrong, that his refusal was cruel and shameful. But he could not bear the consequences of not refusing, of welcoming a mortal into his home, into his life...into his heart. He had been a fool...and now his actions could steal his youngest son from him...the son he never wanted...the son he could not now bear to think about living without all those years past and all the years future.
Legolas, beginning to believe that Elrond would not take the offered letters, began to lower his hand. But swiftly, Elrond stepped forward and his long fingers suddenly clamped down on the paper. The prince and elven lord's eyes met. "It is no lie then?" Legolas breathed.
Elrond flinched at Legolas' question, at his use of the word "lie". Aragorn had said, 'let us not continue the lie between us'. Elrond did not think he had ever suffered a greater hurt than seeing the look in his son's eyes, of knowing Aragorn believed his love was a lie, that his life here in Rivendell had been a lie, that his place in Elladan and Elrohir's heart was a lie, that all he had believed in was but a falsehood. Lowly Elrond choked out, "I was wrong."
Compassion sparked in Legolas' eyes. He knew about making wrong decisions, about nurturing prejudices and about shutting out the world when you could not bear another hurt. If anyone should understand Elrond's decision, Legolas knew he should...but he could not so readily forgive it, not when he knew the devastation it wracked upon his friend's soul, not when he fathomed the consequences had Elrond stood firm in his denials...even after Arathorn perished. If Aragorn had been unsheltered from the brutal world that awaited a boy without a father and unprotected against the darkness that clamored for the blood of Isildur's line..Legolas shuttered to think what fate would have befallen his friend if his path had deviated but a little.
With those dark thoughts, Legolas's compassion faded. "Yes, you were wrong," his voice biting. "He bore the blood of your brother, did that mean so little to you?!"
"It meant too much to me!" Elrond shot back, his voice shaking with his emotions.
Suddenly Elrohir stepped between Elrond and Legolas, his look swinging between his father and friend. "All this is the past and it can not be changed! Estel lies wounded not one pace away from you both! He should be your concern, what has befallen him in the present should be consuming you both as it consumes me! Now tell me plainly, Legolas, what part did you play in my brother's wounds," his look brooking no more delays and promising harsh retribution for any harm the other elf had done to his youngest brother.
Elrohir's words generated first shame and then shock from Legolas. "Part?! I ...I played no part in Aragorn's wounds," his hurt at the accusation bleeding through his words. "As I said, I came upon his camp."
"And what did you see," Elladan pressed, coming to stand at Elrohir's side.
At Elladan's demand, Legolas came to his feet and turned toward Aragorn, his intent eyes fixed upon his best friend's pale face. Claiming a seat on the bed beside Aragorn, he tenderly picked up his friend's hand and held it in his grasp. How could he bear to speak aloud the horror that Aragorn had endured this day? How could he tell Aragorn's father and brothers the evil that had been done to one they loved? He did not think he had the fortitude to bear their emotions as well as his own. Not today.
A look passed between Elrond and his two elven sons at Legolas' reaction. Suspicions they were ashamed to harbor sprang in each of their minds. What part did Legolas play in Aragorn's condition?!
Without turning around to look at Elrond, Elladan or Elrohrir, Legolas implored, "I...I can not speak of it ...not today." A tear slipped unknowingly down his face, and his throat constricted with a barely restrained sob, "I...I thought him lost. That grief still clings to me even now." A moment passed before the prince could shield his emotions enough to speak the barely audible plea, "Please, please let me answer all questions you have on the morrow."
Though his heart clamored for answers to his son's condition, Elrond also felt compassion for the young elf, whose light earnestly seemed dimmed under an overshadowing grief. "Be at ease, Legolas. We will speak of these matters tomorrow."
"Ada?!" Elladan exclaimed in protest but one quelling look from his father quieted his objections.
"I will prepare your usual room for you Legolas," Elrond graciously offered.
Legolas nodded in appreciation, ashamed that he was receiving such compassion from one he had harshly judged only moments prior.
Then Elrond bade his two sons, "Come, Elrhoir, Elladan, I would speak to you,"
Obediently Elladan and Elrohir trailed their father from Aragorn's room, leaving the prince and the would-be king alone.
Taking up the task Elladan had been performing when he entered the bedroom, Legolas resoaked the cloth and began to wipe it gently over Aragorn's face, neck and chest. "I am sorry, Estel," he began softly, but with anguish that was deafening. "I was not there when you needed me most." Then with unwavering sentiment, he pledged, "But I am here now and I will not let more harm befall you." Swiftly his blue eyes darkened and his next words were little more than a hiss, "And I swear to you, the one that did this evil to you will pay...and he will wish I had been kind enough to do unto him what he did to you."
Out in the hallway, Elrond found both his sons turning to him in protest but he raised his hand. "I seek answers as desperately as you do but even if we learn the truth now, we could not take any actions, not tonight. Morning will come soon enough..." here his tone dropped to a whispered dread, "and we all may regret the telling of Legolas' tale."
"You think him guilty in some way to Aragorn's condition?!" Elladan incredulously asked though he himself could not abandon those thoughts, not with the prince bearing Aragorn's sword, pack and likewise covered in dirt.
But Elrond shook his head, "No, my son. It is not Legolas's part in the tale that I dread."
With insight, Elrohir breathed, his voice emanating sympathy, "No, you dread your own part."
Elrond did not deny his son's wisdom but nodded his head sadly. "I fear I have much to answer for." Then unable to continue to meet his sons' gazes, he quietly bid, "Goodnight, my sons. Call me if Estel worsens." And then he turned from his sons and disappeared down the hallway.
"Elrohir.." Elladan began with worry and wonder as he faced his brother.
"I fear the morrow as well, Elladan," he agreed with the unvoiced statement of his brother, even as he knew some knowledge of the tale Legolas would tell. He did not wonder at Legolas' hesitation to tell them what had befallen Aragorn this day, in fact some sympathy for the other elf had penetrated his defenses. But did Legolas truly believe telling them that Aragorn had been buried alive would come with more ease after a few hours reprieve?! Some truths were horrifically bitter to tell and this was unmistakably one of them.
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When Elrond walked away from his sons, he found himself heading not for his bedroom but his study. Negotiating the dark, still hallways, he could not quiet his thoughts nor still the trembling of his hand that held the letters, his letters.
Some small relief sneaked past his tension as he entered the study, closed the door and the darkness of the night cloaked him. Tonight he welcomed that darkness. For how could he find solace in his bedroom, where his father's star, Gil-Estel, star of hope, always seemed to glimmer even in the room's darkest depths, when he knew he had failed his son, failed his Estel.
Crossing slowly to his desk, Elrond claimed his chair and stared down at the paper in his hands, the darkness concealing all but the outline of the letters to his sharp eyes. Dread ate at Elrond. What words had he used in the letters? He could not recall...in truth he had never wanted to recall them for shame always washed over him when he thought of his refusal. And that shame was never more sharp than when his heart surged with love for Aragorn, the child he had rejected.
'You must face your wrongs! Cowardice will not work reconciliation between you and your son!' Elrond reproached himself and with that prodding he lit the candle upon his desk.
As the flame licked to life, Elrond's eyes swung back to the paper in his hands and he closed his eyes as he saw his seal. So vain he had been! Pompously he had sealed the letter with his personal emblem, as if the letter was of royal bearing...a letter whose contents held not a glimmer of honor.
Knowing he must face the worst of it, Elrond unfurled the first letter and tried to pay no heed to the fact that the letter trembled in his hands.
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"Arathorn,
I must apologize for my harsh words and our bitter parting. I hold you in high regard but you must understand I will not change my mind. My answer is firm and shall remain so.
I do not ask that you understand my decision or respect it or even forgive me for it. I deserve none of those considerations. But please know my refusal to shelter
Gilraen and your son does not reflect any disfavor you have achieved in my eyes. For reasons of my own I can not offer your family this refuge.
Elrond
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Grief and disgrace choked Elrond. He remembered the bitter parting the letter spoke of, for it was the last time he saw Arathorn alive. But, Valar, he wished the memories would flee. Arathorn, claiming to sense a growing evil in the lands, had nearly pleaded with Elrond to take his wife and son to the safe harbor of Rivendell. 'And I simply said no, as if I was deciding that I did not desire a refill on a glass of wine,' bitterly ran through Elrond's mind, 'and Arathorn accused me of forgetting my duty to family...to my brother Elros. And though I knew he was not speaking falsely, I did not grant him his desire...did not heed his pleas. Nay, I kept saying no, time and time again, I wrote him yet another letter of refusal,' Elrond's fingers touched upon the second letter, knowing already its message but not remembering it's nuances. 'Yes, I would let nothing sway my decision, not Arathorn, not my own conscience, not the destiny of Middle Earth ....until Arathorn died.' Sorrow and regret clung to Elrond, he had never mended his relationship with Arathorn...death had stolen that chance from him. With desperate need, Elrond swore that he would not be robbed of the chance to heal his ravaged relationship with Aragorn, with the son of his heart.
Setting aside the letter, Elrond forced himself to unfold the second letter. A startled cry of despair broke from him at the bitter, hateful words...words that he had penned, words that he had once meant with every fiber of his being.
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Arathorn,
If your son proves to be the one we have long waited for, I will do my duty and seek to protect the boy until manhood. My love for my brother Elros leads me to undertake this task if it be my burden. But until that truth is known, I stand by my firm decision.
Elrond
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Brokenly Elrond exclaimed, "No! Valar, no!" As his soul clamored, 'Say that it was not my hand that wrote this letter! That it was not my mind that conjured up these cruel words! Undo the sending of this letter! Please tell me my son whom I love with all my heart did not read these words!'
In an act of self hatred and anguish, Elrond swept his hand across his desk and sent a glass vase slamming against the wall and papers fluttering to the floor. "No!" he shouted in bitter anguish. Then he dropped his head into his hands. 'I have lost him...I have lost my son. And the truth is... I never deserved him. Never.'
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TBC
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Ok, now even I'm feeling sorry for Elrond and we all know that hardly ever happens. But I think we all know what it's like to do wrong and not be able to take it back. It's one of the worst feelings..as Elrond just demonstrated.
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Replies to Reviews:
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I was so overwhelmed by all the reviews!!! I appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! I think we all know how hard it is to put your writings out in the world but each one of you have really made this a wonderful experience for me ! THANK YOU!!!
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BabeyRachey: Sorry I didn't say thanks in my last chapter but your review popped up right after I posted it! So here's my reply for your chapter 5 review- Glad you "loved" the twins and I hope you enjoyed them in the chapters that followed. They are just too likable! And so I got you to feel bad for Elrond did I ...how about this chapter? He getting any sympathy from you? Thanks so much for your compliments about the chapter! Hope to hear from you soon!
Nietta: I'm touched that you love this story and it's angst!!! And we'll see Aragorn's reception of Legolas next chapter. As for Legolas kicking Elrond's....well, that'ld be a fight to put down odds but Legolas can always be counted on to verbally attack anyone for harming his friend. Thanks so much for your reviewing and I hope to hear from you again!
Moonfire1: I have to say I was pleased to have ran you through an "emotional wringer"! That meant I was doing my job and supplying the healthy/unhealthy dose of angst we all seem to crave!! Yes, Legolas' presence was needed in the mix! Glad you enjoyed my guilt trips and I hope you still enjoyed them this chapter! Thanks so much for your terrific reviews! Love to hear what you thought of this chapter!
Lady Elwen: I know I already dropped you an email but I just wanted to say again how much I appreciated your review! Hope to hear more of your thoughts!
Luinthien: Thanks for your compliments and I'm believing it was possible for Elrohir to figure out the situation ( I thought I might have stretched the realm of reality on that one but he's a smart elf, right?) And you asked how many chapters there are...I have no idea! I've got the plot down in my mind but sorry to say it's not down on paper. But I seem to have a lot of issues to resolve (such as Barion getting what he so richly deserves) so it's not going to be over too soon. Hope it continues to entertain and not bore! Please drop me a review and let me know how I did with this chapter!
Elizabeth Goode: Thanks for reading, reviewing and complimenting me! Glad you like angst because I absolutely love writing it!
Elven Kitten: Aragorn torture?!?! Me?!?! Torture is such a nasty word, true but nasty all the same! (grins wildly) Thanks for the compliment and don't hate me for not waking Aragorn this chapter...I simply gave you more time to "huggles the half dead ranger" (You're believing this, right?)
Joslin: Thanks for dropping in to read this story! And I'm blushing over your compliments!! Love to hear from you again!
Lady of the Lake2: You know you're the BEST! Right? Thanks so much for your loyalty and encouragement and for just being you! Now about your reviews-: Since I need to keep Barion alive for awhile longer in this story I will NOT be letting you anywhere near him! (I'ld have to do what the soaps do .."the character Barion is now being played by..." my readers may not appreciate that ...heck I never appreciated that on the soaps). And you're making me blush when you say things like "your writing is so real"?!? but I LOVE it! Sorry that Legolas couldn't be Aragorn's rescuer but don't worry, that ranger never stays out of trouble so Legolas will get his chance to save his friend's life in some other fashion! Can't wait for your next review!!
Et-spiritus-sancti: I was overjoyed at your review when you said you liked my fight scene!!!! I worked REALLY hard to try to make it seem plausible! (I love watching fight scenes but writing one...now that was easier said than done!) And being buried alive ain't high on my list of things to do...funny how I always put my favorite characters through experiences I would rather die than endure?!? As for Arwen, sorry but I do not have plans for her to make an appearance..I'm going with the idea that she's in Lothlorien. Thank you so much for putting me on your favorites list and your author alert!! I'll try to earn my keep!!!
Tailspin: Yes, ffnet has been somewhat rude about allowing access to new chapter but I'll put up with any attitude it dishes out cause I'm totally addicted to this site!! I also couldn't bear to see Aragorn remain covered in that dirt, especially that kind of dirt! (yuck!) Now would I leave our favorite Mirkwood elf out in the cold!?! And yes, Legolas-Aragorn comfort is coming up next chapter...but you kinda encouraged me to unleash more angst this chapter...didn't you? So how was this chapter on the old angst meter?
Elvingirl3737: Thank you so much for your very kind words!!! Glad you like angst like I do! I'ld like to hear from you again!
Someone Reading: You got me smiling from ear to ear with your wonderful review!!! I was totally flattered by your words! I really wanted to walk the reader through the scenes, the emotions, the actions of everyone...I didn't want to cheat you out of a moment of the action. I hate when tv shows cut in with a commercial and never show you the harm/comfort scenes so I down right refuse to "cut to commercial". Glad you like that about my writing! And what's angst without guilt, medical procedures, fear and anguish...oh maybe I was suppose to only put in ONE of those emotions for a good angsty story. I always go overboard but you don't seem to be minding! Waiting impatiently for your next review!
Marbienl: As always you're very observed! I almost wrote that the twins realized that the Aragorn's ring was missing when they washed his hands but it just didn't seem to fit into the story at that moment and I rationaled that they would probably be too distraught to notice the missing ring at that time. But never fear, the ring plays an important role in this I'm not telling you what...yet. Glad you liked Elrohir piecing things together and Legolas' well timed entrance. Things are definitely getting dicey with all these players, isn't it! And as you could tell this chapter, Elrond has some major issues to conquer before he can make things right between Aragorn and himself. I think I've actually skipped into Elrond torture in this one, haven't I? Now you've got to email me pronto and let me know what your devious mind's plotting now for Aragorn!
Grumpy: The waterfalls would have removed the dirt...might have drowned him too ...details, details. I'm pleased that you liked how his family tended to him (with a little more care than you suggested) and that Elrohir figured out what had happened to Aragorn (which they'll get around to discussing real soon) And yes, Legolas has a part to place in this family drama...after all, he's practically Aragorn's brother. I'm always glad to get your review so keep 'em coming.
Beling: I promised that I would address your story comments so here goes: Reading this in one go is no easy task! Thanks for sticking with it!! Barion's reason for hating Arathorn...let's just say the twins have a pretty good idea what his reasons are. The letters, yes, Aragorn should listen to this heart but I don't' think even his heart's unscathed by the words of the letters. Hearts are so sensitive sometimes! My writing reminded you of Edgar Allen Poe!! (I like, I like!) I'm so glad you didn't think Legola's reactions were overblown..I just thought he'd be pretty destroyed by the clues and thinking Aragorn was dead. Elladan and Elrohir, I gotta say I love writing these guys cause they are so dependably loving to Aragorn. Elrond, yup he's coming to really regret his past decision and realize that by trying to shield himself from harm has truly backfired. Right now I wouldn't want to trade position with Aragorn...and I'm not talking about the sword wounds! I hates emotional pain! But yes, our favorite ranger will find contentment again in the presence of his family and friends....but not for awhile (grins evilly) And I've tried to take pity on you and update as soon as I could. Now take pity on me and review!
Agtsteph: Thanks again for your email!! Hope you're able to get to chapter 6 and this new chapter! And I would truly love to hear from you again via email or review!
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I swore I would make the replies to reviews short but then I got on a roll and well...sorry about all the chatter! Thanks again for everyone who has taken the time to read this story!!
And if you've survived this far, I think you deserve to know: Aragorn wakes up next chapter!
Thanks!
Cheryl W.
By: Cheryl W
Disclaimer: I don't own The Lord of the Rings or anything in conjunction with the Lord of the Rings nor am I making a profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
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CHAPTER 7
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Moments after Legolas' entrance into the room, Elrohir appeared in the doorway, his glass now only half full, having sloshed the remainder of the liquid in his mad dash after the Mirkwood elf. Seeing Legolas with his head upon Aragorn's shoulder, Elrohir's gaze met Elladan's, the same questions sparked in their eyes.
Stepping into the room, shock tore through Elrohir as he saw that Aragorn's sword was secured upon Legolas' back and his brother's pack was slung over the blond elf's shoulder. Standing behind Legolas, his eyes transfixed upon Aragorn's possessions, Elrohir stammered in confusion, "You wear Estel's pack..and his sword," finding it hard to not misinterpret the strange happenstance. Surely, Legolas was not to blame for his brother's wounded state.
Realizing he could no longer shut out the world and revel alone in his joyous relief at his best friend's survival, Legolas marshaled his emotions, drew in a steadying breath and raised his head from the shoulder of the one he thought lost to him that day. But he did not turn to Elrohir. Instead, his eyes rested unwaveringly upon Aragorn's pale face. With trembling fingers, he touched the man's cheek, reassured by the life he felt flowing under his fingers. Moving his fingers to Aragorn's hair, he lightly brushed the locks still coated with dirt, sickened by the memories it stirred in him.
Dropping his hand, Legolas shut his eyes. Hatred, shame, and angst vied for his attention. He knew from whence the dirt came, what Aragorn had suffered at the hands of another, what fate he himself had failed to protect his friend from.
Legolas' eyes flew open as Elrohir's hand came to rest upon his shoulder. Accepting it as a gentle prompting, Legolas finally responded to the twin's earlier inquiry about Aragorn's possessions. "I came upon his camp," his voice quiet yet raw with emotion as his eyes once again took in Aragorn's every feature. Unbidden, he recalled the frightful clues he had pieced together around that camp. Lightening fast, his fearful eyes swung to Elladan. "How grievous are his wounds?!"
But it was not either of the twins that answered Legolas's panicked question.
"He has two sword wounds, one pierced his right side and the other is a slash down his left," Elrond supplied as he entered the room, striving to sound like the cool efficient healer, not the worried sick father. Coming to stand at the end of Aragorn's bed, Elrond did not know if his guise was believed by the three young elves, for his eyes did not stray to them. Instead, the sight of his youngest child lying in his bed, deathly pale and motionless, stole his entire focus.
Unexpectedly, worry and grief nearly overwhelmed him, as if this was the first time today he had truly realized his son's vulnerable state. As if Elrond the Healer, the one who could not let emotions tremble the hand that stitched his son's terrible wounds, had finally been granted release to morph into Elrond the father, the one whose heart threatened to shatter at the very sight of his wounded son. 'Valar, he looks so young ..so frail.' And he could not hold back his mind's sharp reply, 'because he is.'
Elrond's head snapped up, startled when Legolas whispered in desperation, "But he will recover?"
Meeting the young elf's eyes, Elrond could plainly see the unmasked plea in their blue depths. Looking once again to Aragorn's still form, Elrond vividly recalled the gruesome wounds that marred his son's flesh. After long moments of silence, he answered thickly, "Yes." But he did not qualify his answer further, could not, not when his thoughts were consumed contemplating Legolas' question in a sense the other elf did not intend. Yes, Elrond had faith that Aragorn would recover physically but what of his son's emotional wellbeing? Could that also be made whole once again? Not with herbs and stitches but could it be healed by words, by actions? 'But what words have the power to justify my heartlessness? What actions could I undertake to assuage my past sins? To make Estel certain of my love?' clamored through Elrond, screaming for answers.
Legolas watched Elrond intently as the elf lord's eyes feasted upon the sight of his youngest son. Anguish radiated off the older elf in waves, seemingly belying his word of encouragement regarding Aragorn's health. But Legolas suspected that it was not only his son's wounded state that brought the usually composed elf to such despair. The wood elf's thoughts flew to the letters he had read at Aragorn's camp. Unconsciously his right hand pushed the strap to Aragorn's pack higher upon his shoulder. If Aragorn had arrived in Rivendell with the strength to utter words, Legolas knew with certainty that his friend would have confronted his elven father on the matter of the letters' contents. The letters would not have been forgotten or dismissed by Aragorn...not even after all he had bore this day. No, the words inscribed upon the thin sheets of paper were too deadly a poison to Aragorn's soul.
When Legolas had first read the missives, he thought only of how his friend would have interpreted the words and sentiment of Elrond's letters, of the torment that would grip Aragorn's heart. He had not spared time to reason away Elrond's words himself. That he swore to do later, after he had found Aragorn and eased his friend's anguish by whatever comforting words he could utter. But now his thoughts turned again to the letters, to the words that harshly disregarded compassion, the secret they bore within their finely scripted lines, and the feelings of Arathorn...or his son.
Legolas could not reconcile the letters with the kindhearted, utterly generous elf that he had come to think of as a second father. And yet, the letters bore Elrond's seal and his flowing script. Releasing his desperate grip upon Aragorn's hand, he sat his friend's pack on the floor and, with only a slight hesitation, began to pull the two letters from the dark depths of the pack. Having garnered the attention of all three Rivendell elves, three sets of sharp eyes watched as he pulled the letters free of the pack.
At the sight of the letters, Elrond drew in a sharp intake of breath and both despair and shame seemed to flow over his soul.
Seeing Elrond's reaction to the letters, Legolas felt his falsely harbored hope that the letters were counterfeit fade. For a moment he clutched desperately onto the letters, uncertain if he should relinquish them into the elf lord's care, for truly they were now Aragorn's possessions. But with clarity, he knew that there could be no reconciliation between Aragorn and his father until the worst was known, until Elrond understood what his decision made more than thirty years prior could cost him this day. Holding the letters out to Elrond, Legolas said, his voice quiet, and lacking accusation, "I found these also at Aragorn's camp."
A suffocating silence fell upon the room and no one stirred from their stance.
For all the evil Elrond had faced in his life, the two letters which Legolas offered to him, they alone had the power to chill his very blood. He vaguely remembered taking quill to paper, of quickly composing the missives and beckoning a servant to take each one to Arathorn. And in his heart, he had known he was wrong, that his refusal was cruel and shameful. But he could not bear the consequences of not refusing, of welcoming a mortal into his home, into his life...into his heart. He had been a fool...and now his actions could steal his youngest son from him...the son he never wanted...the son he could not now bear to think about living without all those years past and all the years future.
Legolas, beginning to believe that Elrond would not take the offered letters, began to lower his hand. But swiftly, Elrond stepped forward and his long fingers suddenly clamped down on the paper. The prince and elven lord's eyes met. "It is no lie then?" Legolas breathed.
Elrond flinched at Legolas' question, at his use of the word "lie". Aragorn had said, 'let us not continue the lie between us'. Elrond did not think he had ever suffered a greater hurt than seeing the look in his son's eyes, of knowing Aragorn believed his love was a lie, that his life here in Rivendell had been a lie, that his place in Elladan and Elrohir's heart was a lie, that all he had believed in was but a falsehood. Lowly Elrond choked out, "I was wrong."
Compassion sparked in Legolas' eyes. He knew about making wrong decisions, about nurturing prejudices and about shutting out the world when you could not bear another hurt. If anyone should understand Elrond's decision, Legolas knew he should...but he could not so readily forgive it, not when he knew the devastation it wracked upon his friend's soul, not when he fathomed the consequences had Elrond stood firm in his denials...even after Arathorn perished. If Aragorn had been unsheltered from the brutal world that awaited a boy without a father and unprotected against the darkness that clamored for the blood of Isildur's line..Legolas shuttered to think what fate would have befallen his friend if his path had deviated but a little.
With those dark thoughts, Legolas's compassion faded. "Yes, you were wrong," his voice biting. "He bore the blood of your brother, did that mean so little to you?!"
"It meant too much to me!" Elrond shot back, his voice shaking with his emotions.
Suddenly Elrohir stepped between Elrond and Legolas, his look swinging between his father and friend. "All this is the past and it can not be changed! Estel lies wounded not one pace away from you both! He should be your concern, what has befallen him in the present should be consuming you both as it consumes me! Now tell me plainly, Legolas, what part did you play in my brother's wounds," his look brooking no more delays and promising harsh retribution for any harm the other elf had done to his youngest brother.
Elrohir's words generated first shame and then shock from Legolas. "Part?! I ...I played no part in Aragorn's wounds," his hurt at the accusation bleeding through his words. "As I said, I came upon his camp."
"And what did you see," Elladan pressed, coming to stand at Elrohir's side.
At Elladan's demand, Legolas came to his feet and turned toward Aragorn, his intent eyes fixed upon his best friend's pale face. Claiming a seat on the bed beside Aragorn, he tenderly picked up his friend's hand and held it in his grasp. How could he bear to speak aloud the horror that Aragorn had endured this day? How could he tell Aragorn's father and brothers the evil that had been done to one they loved? He did not think he had the fortitude to bear their emotions as well as his own. Not today.
A look passed between Elrond and his two elven sons at Legolas' reaction. Suspicions they were ashamed to harbor sprang in each of their minds. What part did Legolas play in Aragorn's condition?!
Without turning around to look at Elrond, Elladan or Elrohrir, Legolas implored, "I...I can not speak of it ...not today." A tear slipped unknowingly down his face, and his throat constricted with a barely restrained sob, "I...I thought him lost. That grief still clings to me even now." A moment passed before the prince could shield his emotions enough to speak the barely audible plea, "Please, please let me answer all questions you have on the morrow."
Though his heart clamored for answers to his son's condition, Elrond also felt compassion for the young elf, whose light earnestly seemed dimmed under an overshadowing grief. "Be at ease, Legolas. We will speak of these matters tomorrow."
"Ada?!" Elladan exclaimed in protest but one quelling look from his father quieted his objections.
"I will prepare your usual room for you Legolas," Elrond graciously offered.
Legolas nodded in appreciation, ashamed that he was receiving such compassion from one he had harshly judged only moments prior.
Then Elrond bade his two sons, "Come, Elrhoir, Elladan, I would speak to you,"
Obediently Elladan and Elrohir trailed their father from Aragorn's room, leaving the prince and the would-be king alone.
Taking up the task Elladan had been performing when he entered the bedroom, Legolas resoaked the cloth and began to wipe it gently over Aragorn's face, neck and chest. "I am sorry, Estel," he began softly, but with anguish that was deafening. "I was not there when you needed me most." Then with unwavering sentiment, he pledged, "But I am here now and I will not let more harm befall you." Swiftly his blue eyes darkened and his next words were little more than a hiss, "And I swear to you, the one that did this evil to you will pay...and he will wish I had been kind enough to do unto him what he did to you."
Out in the hallway, Elrond found both his sons turning to him in protest but he raised his hand. "I seek answers as desperately as you do but even if we learn the truth now, we could not take any actions, not tonight. Morning will come soon enough..." here his tone dropped to a whispered dread, "and we all may regret the telling of Legolas' tale."
"You think him guilty in some way to Aragorn's condition?!" Elladan incredulously asked though he himself could not abandon those thoughts, not with the prince bearing Aragorn's sword, pack and likewise covered in dirt.
But Elrond shook his head, "No, my son. It is not Legolas's part in the tale that I dread."
With insight, Elrohir breathed, his voice emanating sympathy, "No, you dread your own part."
Elrond did not deny his son's wisdom but nodded his head sadly. "I fear I have much to answer for." Then unable to continue to meet his sons' gazes, he quietly bid, "Goodnight, my sons. Call me if Estel worsens." And then he turned from his sons and disappeared down the hallway.
"Elrohir.." Elladan began with worry and wonder as he faced his brother.
"I fear the morrow as well, Elladan," he agreed with the unvoiced statement of his brother, even as he knew some knowledge of the tale Legolas would tell. He did not wonder at Legolas' hesitation to tell them what had befallen Aragorn this day, in fact some sympathy for the other elf had penetrated his defenses. But did Legolas truly believe telling them that Aragorn had been buried alive would come with more ease after a few hours reprieve?! Some truths were horrifically bitter to tell and this was unmistakably one of them.
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When Elrond walked away from his sons, he found himself heading not for his bedroom but his study. Negotiating the dark, still hallways, he could not quiet his thoughts nor still the trembling of his hand that held the letters, his letters.
Some small relief sneaked past his tension as he entered the study, closed the door and the darkness of the night cloaked him. Tonight he welcomed that darkness. For how could he find solace in his bedroom, where his father's star, Gil-Estel, star of hope, always seemed to glimmer even in the room's darkest depths, when he knew he had failed his son, failed his Estel.
Crossing slowly to his desk, Elrond claimed his chair and stared down at the paper in his hands, the darkness concealing all but the outline of the letters to his sharp eyes. Dread ate at Elrond. What words had he used in the letters? He could not recall...in truth he had never wanted to recall them for shame always washed over him when he thought of his refusal. And that shame was never more sharp than when his heart surged with love for Aragorn, the child he had rejected.
'You must face your wrongs! Cowardice will not work reconciliation between you and your son!' Elrond reproached himself and with that prodding he lit the candle upon his desk.
As the flame licked to life, Elrond's eyes swung back to the paper in his hands and he closed his eyes as he saw his seal. So vain he had been! Pompously he had sealed the letter with his personal emblem, as if the letter was of royal bearing...a letter whose contents held not a glimmer of honor.
Knowing he must face the worst of it, Elrond unfurled the first letter and tried to pay no heed to the fact that the letter trembled in his hands.
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"Arathorn,
I must apologize for my harsh words and our bitter parting. I hold you in high regard but you must understand I will not change my mind. My answer is firm and shall remain so.
I do not ask that you understand my decision or respect it or even forgive me for it. I deserve none of those considerations. But please know my refusal to shelter
Gilraen and your son does not reflect any disfavor you have achieved in my eyes. For reasons of my own I can not offer your family this refuge.
Elrond
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Grief and disgrace choked Elrond. He remembered the bitter parting the letter spoke of, for it was the last time he saw Arathorn alive. But, Valar, he wished the memories would flee. Arathorn, claiming to sense a growing evil in the lands, had nearly pleaded with Elrond to take his wife and son to the safe harbor of Rivendell. 'And I simply said no, as if I was deciding that I did not desire a refill on a glass of wine,' bitterly ran through Elrond's mind, 'and Arathorn accused me of forgetting my duty to family...to my brother Elros. And though I knew he was not speaking falsely, I did not grant him his desire...did not heed his pleas. Nay, I kept saying no, time and time again, I wrote him yet another letter of refusal,' Elrond's fingers touched upon the second letter, knowing already its message but not remembering it's nuances. 'Yes, I would let nothing sway my decision, not Arathorn, not my own conscience, not the destiny of Middle Earth ....until Arathorn died.' Sorrow and regret clung to Elrond, he had never mended his relationship with Arathorn...death had stolen that chance from him. With desperate need, Elrond swore that he would not be robbed of the chance to heal his ravaged relationship with Aragorn, with the son of his heart.
Setting aside the letter, Elrond forced himself to unfold the second letter. A startled cry of despair broke from him at the bitter, hateful words...words that he had penned, words that he had once meant with every fiber of his being.
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Arathorn,
If your son proves to be the one we have long waited for, I will do my duty and seek to protect the boy until manhood. My love for my brother Elros leads me to undertake this task if it be my burden. But until that truth is known, I stand by my firm decision.
Elrond
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Brokenly Elrond exclaimed, "No! Valar, no!" As his soul clamored, 'Say that it was not my hand that wrote this letter! That it was not my mind that conjured up these cruel words! Undo the sending of this letter! Please tell me my son whom I love with all my heart did not read these words!'
In an act of self hatred and anguish, Elrond swept his hand across his desk and sent a glass vase slamming against the wall and papers fluttering to the floor. "No!" he shouted in bitter anguish. Then he dropped his head into his hands. 'I have lost him...I have lost my son. And the truth is... I never deserved him. Never.'
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TBC
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Ok, now even I'm feeling sorry for Elrond and we all know that hardly ever happens. But I think we all know what it's like to do wrong and not be able to take it back. It's one of the worst feelings..as Elrond just demonstrated.
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Replies to Reviews:
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I was so overwhelmed by all the reviews!!! I appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! I think we all know how hard it is to put your writings out in the world but each one of you have really made this a wonderful experience for me ! THANK YOU!!!
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BabeyRachey: Sorry I didn't say thanks in my last chapter but your review popped up right after I posted it! So here's my reply for your chapter 5 review- Glad you "loved" the twins and I hope you enjoyed them in the chapters that followed. They are just too likable! And so I got you to feel bad for Elrond did I ...how about this chapter? He getting any sympathy from you? Thanks so much for your compliments about the chapter! Hope to hear from you soon!
Nietta: I'm touched that you love this story and it's angst!!! And we'll see Aragorn's reception of Legolas next chapter. As for Legolas kicking Elrond's....well, that'ld be a fight to put down odds but Legolas can always be counted on to verbally attack anyone for harming his friend. Thanks so much for your reviewing and I hope to hear from you again!
Moonfire1: I have to say I was pleased to have ran you through an "emotional wringer"! That meant I was doing my job and supplying the healthy/unhealthy dose of angst we all seem to crave!! Yes, Legolas' presence was needed in the mix! Glad you enjoyed my guilt trips and I hope you still enjoyed them this chapter! Thanks so much for your terrific reviews! Love to hear what you thought of this chapter!
Lady Elwen: I know I already dropped you an email but I just wanted to say again how much I appreciated your review! Hope to hear more of your thoughts!
Luinthien: Thanks for your compliments and I'm believing it was possible for Elrohir to figure out the situation ( I thought I might have stretched the realm of reality on that one but he's a smart elf, right?) And you asked how many chapters there are...I have no idea! I've got the plot down in my mind but sorry to say it's not down on paper. But I seem to have a lot of issues to resolve (such as Barion getting what he so richly deserves) so it's not going to be over too soon. Hope it continues to entertain and not bore! Please drop me a review and let me know how I did with this chapter!
Elizabeth Goode: Thanks for reading, reviewing and complimenting me! Glad you like angst because I absolutely love writing it!
Elven Kitten: Aragorn torture?!?! Me?!?! Torture is such a nasty word, true but nasty all the same! (grins wildly) Thanks for the compliment and don't hate me for not waking Aragorn this chapter...I simply gave you more time to "huggles the half dead ranger" (You're believing this, right?)
Joslin: Thanks for dropping in to read this story! And I'm blushing over your compliments!! Love to hear from you again!
Lady of the Lake2: You know you're the BEST! Right? Thanks so much for your loyalty and encouragement and for just being you! Now about your reviews-: Since I need to keep Barion alive for awhile longer in this story I will NOT be letting you anywhere near him! (I'ld have to do what the soaps do .."the character Barion is now being played by..." my readers may not appreciate that ...heck I never appreciated that on the soaps). And you're making me blush when you say things like "your writing is so real"?!? but I LOVE it! Sorry that Legolas couldn't be Aragorn's rescuer but don't worry, that ranger never stays out of trouble so Legolas will get his chance to save his friend's life in some other fashion! Can't wait for your next review!!
Et-spiritus-sancti: I was overjoyed at your review when you said you liked my fight scene!!!! I worked REALLY hard to try to make it seem plausible! (I love watching fight scenes but writing one...now that was easier said than done!) And being buried alive ain't high on my list of things to do...funny how I always put my favorite characters through experiences I would rather die than endure?!? As for Arwen, sorry but I do not have plans for her to make an appearance..I'm going with the idea that she's in Lothlorien. Thank you so much for putting me on your favorites list and your author alert!! I'll try to earn my keep!!!
Tailspin: Yes, ffnet has been somewhat rude about allowing access to new chapter but I'll put up with any attitude it dishes out cause I'm totally addicted to this site!! I also couldn't bear to see Aragorn remain covered in that dirt, especially that kind of dirt! (yuck!) Now would I leave our favorite Mirkwood elf out in the cold!?! And yes, Legolas-Aragorn comfort is coming up next chapter...but you kinda encouraged me to unleash more angst this chapter...didn't you? So how was this chapter on the old angst meter?
Elvingirl3737: Thank you so much for your very kind words!!! Glad you like angst like I do! I'ld like to hear from you again!
Someone Reading: You got me smiling from ear to ear with your wonderful review!!! I was totally flattered by your words! I really wanted to walk the reader through the scenes, the emotions, the actions of everyone...I didn't want to cheat you out of a moment of the action. I hate when tv shows cut in with a commercial and never show you the harm/comfort scenes so I down right refuse to "cut to commercial". Glad you like that about my writing! And what's angst without guilt, medical procedures, fear and anguish...oh maybe I was suppose to only put in ONE of those emotions for a good angsty story. I always go overboard but you don't seem to be minding! Waiting impatiently for your next review!
Marbienl: As always you're very observed! I almost wrote that the twins realized that the Aragorn's ring was missing when they washed his hands but it just didn't seem to fit into the story at that moment and I rationaled that they would probably be too distraught to notice the missing ring at that time. But never fear, the ring plays an important role in this I'm not telling you what...yet. Glad you liked Elrohir piecing things together and Legolas' well timed entrance. Things are definitely getting dicey with all these players, isn't it! And as you could tell this chapter, Elrond has some major issues to conquer before he can make things right between Aragorn and himself. I think I've actually skipped into Elrond torture in this one, haven't I? Now you've got to email me pronto and let me know what your devious mind's plotting now for Aragorn!
Grumpy: The waterfalls would have removed the dirt...might have drowned him too ...details, details. I'm pleased that you liked how his family tended to him (with a little more care than you suggested) and that Elrohir figured out what had happened to Aragorn (which they'll get around to discussing real soon) And yes, Legolas has a part to place in this family drama...after all, he's practically Aragorn's brother. I'm always glad to get your review so keep 'em coming.
Beling: I promised that I would address your story comments so here goes: Reading this in one go is no easy task! Thanks for sticking with it!! Barion's reason for hating Arathorn...let's just say the twins have a pretty good idea what his reasons are. The letters, yes, Aragorn should listen to this heart but I don't' think even his heart's unscathed by the words of the letters. Hearts are so sensitive sometimes! My writing reminded you of Edgar Allen Poe!! (I like, I like!) I'm so glad you didn't think Legola's reactions were overblown..I just thought he'd be pretty destroyed by the clues and thinking Aragorn was dead. Elladan and Elrohir, I gotta say I love writing these guys cause they are so dependably loving to Aragorn. Elrond, yup he's coming to really regret his past decision and realize that by trying to shield himself from harm has truly backfired. Right now I wouldn't want to trade position with Aragorn...and I'm not talking about the sword wounds! I hates emotional pain! But yes, our favorite ranger will find contentment again in the presence of his family and friends....but not for awhile (grins evilly) And I've tried to take pity on you and update as soon as I could. Now take pity on me and review!
Agtsteph: Thanks again for your email!! Hope you're able to get to chapter 6 and this new chapter! And I would truly love to hear from you again via email or review!
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I swore I would make the replies to reviews short but then I got on a roll and well...sorry about all the chatter! Thanks again for everyone who has taken the time to read this story!!
And if you've survived this far, I think you deserve to know: Aragorn wakes up next chapter!
Thanks!
Cheryl W.