Paper pen and a piece of your heart
I can read it but where do I start?
What to do
What do I do?
And I am going but I'm gonna come back
And maybe then maybe this maybe that
Hold me tight
Not too tight
It's not a hurry that were in
There's no problem
That's the thing
But I can't make me love you
And you can't make me either
Patience Boy I need it
I can't make me love you
----------------------------------Butterfly Boucher

The freezing cold rain and wind assaulted her body, but she didn't care. She was soaked to the bone and shivering violently, but all she could feel was the ache in her chest. She could do nothing more than walk aimlessly, not really caring where she ended up. She didn't even care that her favorite leather jacket would probably be ruined. 'I love you, Asha!', she closed her eyes and swallowed hard as his words echoed in her head. Why did he have to go and fall in love? She liked him, she liked him a lot but she didn't love him...it's not that she didn't want to, she just couldn't. To her, loving someone else was equivalent to forgetting. She couldn't ever forget...she wouldn't. So she walked until she was too cold to walk anymore. She hadn't even noticed, but somehow she ended up in the place she felt the most safe. The only place she could clear her mind.

"Hello?" Logan answered groggily. "Logan, please tell me Asha is there. I've looked all over for her. She's not at her apartment, she wasn't at Crash, some of her S1W friends were there and they said they haven't seen her," Alec said, panic evident in his voice. "Sorry, she's not here. What happened?" Logan replied. "I couldn't hold it in anymore. I told her I love her and she freaked. She started crying and then she ran out into the storm. I'm worried about her, it's freezing. Do you have any idea where she might be? I have to know she's ok," Alec said. "If I know Asha, there's only one place she can be. You said you checked her apartment, but did you check the room she keeps all her books in? She goes there whenever something's bothering her. It's like a little kid and their fort, it's the only place she truly feels safe," Logan replied. "Damn, I forgot about that. Thanks Logan," Alec said. "No problem, just take care of her," Logan replied.

He raced to her apartment as fast as he possibly could. He had no idea what he would say to her...he didn't care; he just wanted to know she was ok. If it wasn't for the sound of her teeth chattering he wouldn't have known she was there. He flicked on the light, totally unprepared for what he found. She was sitting in the corner hugging her knees to her chest and shivering uncontrollably. She was so soaked that water was still dripping from her clothes. She looked so different...so broken. He was worried. She hadn't acknowledged his presence, her lips looked slightly blue, and she was deathly pale. "Asha?" he called softly. She looked at him and he let out a sigh of relief...happy to see that she wasn't catatonic, just very upset. He just stood there staring for a moment, not knowing what to do. She made a slight whimpering noise and he finally snapped out of it.

"Oh wow, Asha, you have to get up sweetie. I have to get you warm," he said, holding out his hand to her. She hesitated, but finally offered an unsteady hand. He pulled her to her feet and helped her up the small staircase. He led her into her bedroom and sat her down on the edge...wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. He went into the bathroom and began to run a bath as hot as he thought she could stand it. "We need to get you out of these clothes," he said, removing the blanket from her shoulders and easing her out of her jacket, "can you handle that on your own?" He knew she was too cold to do it, but he thought he'd ask anyway. He could see the fear and hesitation in her eyes. She opened her mouth to try to say something, but he stopped her. "Shh," he said, placing a finger over her lips. He gently lifted her chin so she was looking him straight in the eye. "Do you trust me?" he said.

She searched his eyes and knew that she really did. She could trust him with her life, so surely she could trust him with her body. Finally she nodded "yes" as best she could. He smiled, and then helped her out of her clothes...averting his eyes as often as possible to reassure her that he had no intention of taking advantage of the situation. When they were done, he quickly wrapped the blanket back around her body and led her to the bathroom. He turned off the water and helped her ease into the steaming hot pool. She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her head on her knees, while he splashed water over her back with a loofah. Soon her shivering began to subside, and the color began to return to her skin. Her lips were no longer blue...they had regained their usual rosy pink hue, and he could've sworn she had flashed the tiniest hint of a grin.

She yawned and he realized how exhausted she must have been. He helped her out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel. It was totally inappropriate at the time, but he couldn't help but let his eyes linger just a little longer than he should have. As gorgeous as she was in clothes, she was absolutely breathtaking out of them. He touched her arm as he led her back to the bedroom and once again sat her on the edge of her bed...the violent shivers had subsided to chills, but she was still very cold. He rifled through her drawers and finally came across a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tee. He helped her get dressed and pulled back the covers. He stripped down to his boxers and took her hand. The hesitation and fear returned to her eyes. She once again opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her. "Shh...you said you trust me right?" he questioned. She nodded "yes". "Well then you know I would never try to take advantage of you. You nearly froze to death and body heat is the best way to prevent hypothermia. I won't be able to live with myself unless I know you're ok, Asha," he said.

She never doubted him in the first place, but it was all just so strange. She sighed and crawled into bed. He followed and curled up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. It felt so good to feel strong arms wrapped around her again...to feel safe, to feel the warmth of a man's body. It had been so long...but she couldn't let herself get used to it. It just wasn't meant to be. She couldn't go through that again. She thought she felt him kiss her hair, but it was so soft she couldn't be sure. Her eyelids were heavy and she couldn't fight to keep them open much longer...it had been a physically and emotionally draining day. She drifted off to sleep knowing that when they woke up in the morning, things would be changed forever.

TBC...

Author's note: Sorry I've kept you waiting so long for an update, but I had a serious case of writer's block. I also have to apologize for not revealing Asha's big secret in this chapter. I know I promised to, but it just didn't fit in with the flow of the story. It will definitely lead off the final (I hope) chapter though.