As soon as Trowa got to his room, he felt bad about leaving the way he did. 'It wasn't their fault…I guess I'll go apologize tomorrow.' Looking around the room, Trowa realized that he had nothing to do here. 'I definitely don't want to go to that dance. Seeing so many happy people in one room isn't very good if you're depressed.' The brunette sighed. 'I'll just go walk around the ballroom. Maybe the music will make me feel better…'
With that, Trowa stepped out of his room and started to walk slowly towards the stairs. "I wish I could just meet him. Then I'd be able to see his eyes. Even if I can't have him, I can still dream…" He stepped onto the second deck and the sight he saw made him freeze. A few feet away from where he stood was a boy leaning against the side of the ship. The boy's face was turned away from Trowa's view but when he spotted the boy's blonde hair and a pair of glasses in his hands, Trowa knew that this was his dream boy.
'It's him! Oh God, what do I do?' the brunette pondered until a sound caught his attention. '…He's crying…' Without thinking, Trowa approached the boy until he was directly behind him. "Why are you crying?" he whispered.
Quatre jumped in surprise at the voice and turned around to face its owner. He gasped. 'It's him! The guy from the docks!' Quatre wiped his cheeks with his sleeves and felt a blush creep up. "It's-uh-it's nothing. I'm fine-I will be…fine." He felt his blush deepen. Luckily, the night sky hid this from his companion.
Trowa wasn't convinced. He sighed and leaned on his arms against the railing. "You know, sometimes things feel better when you let it all out." Trowa watched the boy. 'Trust me…' he urged with his mind.
Quatre looked away to the water splashing below.
"Think of it this way," Trowa started. "My opinion of you can't really change since I don't even know you."
Quatre smiled and chuckled at the remark. "You do have a point."
Trowa's heart skipped a beat. 'He laughed! I made him laugh! And, oh God, that smile! He's so beautiful…' Trowa examined the boy standing next to him. He wasn't very tall and seemed young. The immediate color of his eyes were hidden from the dark and his platinum blonde hair under the moonlight gave the boy a heavenly glow. "So, um, do you want to walk with me around the first deck? The sky tonight is beautiful and you can see it better from there."
"Sure." Quatre smiled. "That'd be nice."
The two silently made their way up to the next deck. Quatre placed his glasses inside his jacket and watched his shoes as they moved. "How come you aren't inside?" he asked curiously.
"Huh? Oh. Well, I don't really like being crowded in a room filled with people."
"Oh." The two walked on without a word. After a few minutes Quatre spoke up. "Watching all those couples in there…it reminded me of something I once had…" Quatre sighed and bit his lip.
Trowa took this as a sign to change the subject. "So where are you from?"
Quatre glanced up at the taller boy, grateful for the change. "Maine. I came to England with my sister when I was eighteen. That was about three years ago."
"You're twenty-one? I would have guessed nineteen or still eighteen."
"Quatre laughed again. "My sister says I have a baby-face. Being short doesn't help much either."
At this comment, Trowa smiled.
Quatre watched the other boy, taking note of all of his features. He was much taller than himself. Quatre could tell that this boy had a great body as it moved gracefully under the tuxedo. Quatre was in awe.
"I've been away from home for a year. I don't think I could ever stay away any longer if I wanted to." Trowa said, shaking Quatre out of his thoughts.
"Where are you from?"
"California. I'm taking the train the day after the ship docks. And do I have something on my face?"
"Huh?"
Trowa smiled at the blonde. "You were staring. Do I have a wart on my face that I don't know of or am I that hideous?"
Quatre blushed again. "No, no. Neither of those. It's just that…" Quatre fumbled for an excuse. "You're really tall. Must be useful for whatever job you have."
Trowa chuckled. "Don't let my height fool you. I'm only twenty-three. I don't work yet."
Quatre smiled again. "So I look young because I'm short…"
"And I look old because I'm tall." Trowa finished. "We make an interesting pair."
Quatre felt himself blush harder. "So what brought you to England?"
"School. My father wanted me to 'expand my talents' with my art before he passed away. I have to return home because my sister and my mother need my help back home." Quatre nodded in understanding. "So what about you?"
"I had to get away…" Quatre slipped before realizing what he was saying. "But I'm going home now because of my father. He's dying and wanted to talk with me before he passed on. I didn't really leave on good terms with my father. He doesn't want to accept my lifestyle. But I don't care. I'd rather be happy without his approval than living a life that makes me miserable. And I'm jabbering on. Sorry."
"No, no. Not at all. I don't mind a bit. It's good that you'd rather live your own life than have your father boss you around. I admire you for that."
The two approached the front of the ship, also a sitting area for the travelers. Trowa leaned against a bench as Quatre leaned on one across his companion.
"So are you here alone?" Quatre asked curiously, praying that the brunette was single.
"If by alone you mean having no friend or family on this ship, then no. I'm here with two friends. And if you mean alone as in a companion to love then yes, I am alone."
Quatre let out a breath that he didn't know he was holding. 'He's single! Oh, how I wish he were gay…' "So what do you look for in a person?" Quatre bit his lip again.
Trowa's eyes slightly widened at the boy's new inquiry. He smiled and pondered the question. "Well, I'm looking for someone kind and understanding. And they have to be able to deal with me when I'm being an antisocial idiot. Like my first girlfriend." 'And my only one at that.'
Quatre's heart sank. 'Of course…I should have known. Of course he's not gay…" "Oh…so what happened between you and her, if you don't mind me asking."
"She was great at all but she helped me realize something very important. Something that made me realized that it would have never worked out between us. I'm kinda grateful for that." Trowa smiled to himself.
'What did he realize?' Quatre wanted to ask but he didn't want to pry.
"What about you? Have you found that special one?"
Quatre chuckled. "It's kind of hard to tell when you've only been with one person."
'What about that girl?' Trowa thought. 'Aren't you with her?' "What happened?"
"He wasn't what I needed in my life…" Quatre bit his lip and looked away.
'He?! Did he say 'he'?! Oh God!' Trowa's mind raced. "He?"
Quatre looked back up at the taller boy. "Yeah…I'm gay…" 'He's disgusted! I shouldn't have said anything.' Quatre waited. "Um, if you're uncomfortable, I can leave you alone."
Trowa snapped out of his thoughts. "No, no. I'm not uncomfortable. I have no problem with homosexuality." 'In fact, I'm all for it…'
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. You surprised me that's all." Trowa gave the blonde a reassuring smiled and received a grateful one in return. "So what happened between you and your boyfriend?"
"He was the one I was thinking of." Quatre said, feeling sadness slowly creep up his heart. "I met him three years ago. My brother set it up. His name was Ted; my boyfriend not my brother. I soon saw Ted on a regular basis. We were really happy together." Quatre paused and took a deep breath. "He had a really bad temper though. And he would usually take it out on me. He would drink the night away and…" Quatre swallowed the growing lump in his throat. "…Beat me." Not thinking, Quatre raised his hand up to his cheek. "I didn't tell anyone and I was too afraid of what he would do if I left him. One day, he got really angry and just started hitting me. I tried to fight him off but he was too strong…I felt like I was going to die until my brother came in and took me away from Ted." Quatre felt his tears sting his eyes. "I turned to my father for comfort but he hates the fact that his son is gay and felt that I deserved what had happened." The tears took over, staining the blonde's cheeks. "That's why my sister took me to England. She said it was for studies but I knew it was to get away. I-I cou-I couldn't-" Quatre stuttered before feeling strong arms wrap around his waist.
Trowa felt horrible that his blonde had went through what he did. He rubbed the smaller boy's back in comforting swipes while the boy cried into his chest. "Shhh…it's okay…it's okay…"
Neither knew how long they stood there like that. Quatre felt immediate comfort in the taller boy's arms. Trowa wanted no more than to have his blonde feel no more pain. It was Quatre who first pulled away after his crying had dies down. Quatre looked into the taller boy's eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, Quatre reached up pulled the boy's face down and kissed him Trowa was shocked at first but the shocked turned to utter bliss. But before he could respond, the blonde pulled away, his eyes as wide as saucers. Quatre's hands flew up to his mouth, shocked at what he had done. Trowa just stared at him.
"Oh God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Oh Jesus. I'm so sorry." Quatre backed away with every phrase. Trowa, glued to his spot, simply watched the boy, racking his brain for something to say. Anything to assure the blonde. Trowa opened his mouth to say something, but it was too late. Quatre turned and made a dash for the stairs. Trowa shot out of his trance and followed the blonde. Quatre felt so ashamed. He was just starting to befriend the other boy and he just screwed it up by kissing him. Quatre pushed through the crowd in the ballroom as fast as his legs could take him and found his way down the stairs and into his room. Trowa lost sight of his blonde when he stepped into the ballroom. He frantically searched the crowd and ran towards the stairs. When there was still no sign of the boy, Trowa slammed his fists into the wall.
'Dammit! I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I say something?! Why!? Dammit!" Trowa leaned his forehead against the abused wall. He felt a single teardrop fall from his eye. "I don't even know his name…"
Trowa returned to his room. He collapsed onto the bed and in his pillow, he wept. On one deck above him, Quatre did the exact same thing.
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters. But I do own that horrid Ted.
Did I mention OOC-ness for this story? If not then now I did. Yah. This took me forever to get out but I think it's better than it was supposed to say originally. Rewriting can be a bummer. That's about it. Questions? Comments? Leave a review! Please?