Note: I can't explain what's been going on for two years, but "The Hogwarts Fugitive" got pushed to the backburner. I don't have that old e-mail, so couldn't sign in under my original name. "The Hogwarts Fugitive" takes place at the beginning of Harry's fifth year. I'd recommend reading the first three parts b/c anyone who did has certainly forgotten by now, and those who haven't will get what's going on better. I'm uploading the first three stories again as well, under this name.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story other than the scienwitzists, and if J.K. Rowling wanted them she could certainly have them. This story was written for pure enjoyment.
The Hogwarts Fugitive, Part 4"Ron, you understand, don't you, son? We're doing everything we can," Arthur Weasley explained quietly after relating all the recent events. He and Molly had arrived at Hogwarts that evening and were standing in the Gryffindor common room with Fred, George, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny.
"All the wizarding world is looking for Harry, dear. He'll be alright. With Peter Pettigrew alive and a trial scheduled in two days for Sirius, things are looking up. Harry'll be able to live with Sirius. Arthur has found houses for sale just near us to show them. Isn't that wonderful?" Molly tried to sound uplifting, avoiding her real fears of Harry's predicament.
"Not if Harry's dead," Ron replied. His face was like stone as he gazed at his parents. He didn't want to have false hope. He wasn't able to see what was going on for himself, so how was he to know what was truly going on?
"Ron!" Hermione looked shocked. She'd been crying since the Weasleys arrived, but felt hopeful by their news. Ron, on the other hand, had become more and more discouraged and distant as the week had gone on and now apparently didn't even want to hope.
"You had him, Dad. You had him by the arm and you let him go."
"Don't say that to your father! He and the scienwitzists didn't know about the disapparating spell Voldemort had used!" Molly stood up for her husband, knowing he felt bad enough.
"This is someone's fault, Mum! Harry gets all the bum deals because of other people! Mainly Voldemort, but Dad, Sirius, Remus, and Dumbledore haven't helped much either have they?! Harry needs us—me and Hermione—we've helped him get out of everything before! And we can't be there! It's not fair!" Ron was yelling at the top of his lungs. He would've run from the room but there was nowhere to go but his room and he couldn't deal with having to feel this way in front of Neville, Dean, and Seamus.
Molly came over to Ron and put her arms around him. He tried to fight his way out of her embrace, but gave in and sagged into her, exhausted.
Hermione hugged Ginny then went over to Arthur. She whispered, "He didn't mean it."
Arthur smiled at her efforts to apologize for Ron. "I know. I blame myself too, although I know it couldn't have been helped. We were all in a great hurry to free Harry from the bars, realizing that this was some sort of unique trap set by Voldemort, and it seemed an easy fix at the time. What we didn't know was that the easy way was the choice Voldemort wanted us to make."
Having overheard his father's comment, Ron had calmed down enough to be remorseful for what he'd said a moment ago. "I'm sorry, Dad, I didn't mean what I said."
"I know. We shouldn't turn on each other though. This is all Voldemort's doing. The best we can do is band together and do our best to fight against him and those who follow him."
"Shouldn't we go back to the Ministry, dear? Maybe there'll be some new information on the Little Hangleton search."
"Yes, we'd better be off." The two parents gave their children and Hermione hugs goodbye.
"Hey," Hermione said, "I just realized something."
Everyone watched her expectantly.
"We've all said Voldemort's name."
Remus and Sirius, carrying Harry, apparated into the scienwitzists' lab in the Ministry. It was empty.
"Blast!" Sirius exclaimed. "Everyone must still be out searching."
"I'll go look around," Remus replied. "Let's lay Harry down on this table here for now." Remus took off his cloak and rolled it into a ball to place under Harry's head. He left the room swiftly.
Sirius plopped down beside the table and sighed. His forehead was still bleeding, but he didn't feel any pain. He was dazed beyond belief and felt foggy with confusion. How had Harry been returned to him? The situation when he'd left had appeared hopeless. Sirius stared down at Harry, eager to see or hear some signs of his being okay. At least he was breathing.
Remus hurried back into the room with Grover Fudge and Carolyn. "I found Minister Fudge and Carolyn still here. Everyone else was out searching, but they're all being called back in. Several witches and wizards are in Little Hangleton casting memory charms in that restaurant where Voldemort cast the Cruciatus curse."
Carolyn noticed Sirius was injured and came over to his side. "What happened to you?"
"Me? Look at Harry!"
Carolyn ignored Sirius and whispered a healing charm that cured him immediately. His dull headache disappeared and the blood was cleaned from his face.
"Thanks," he said, slightly embarrassed at his outburst since it had taken her so little time to fix his injury.
"No problem." Carolyn held his gaze for a moment before moving onto Harry. She laid her ear to Harry's chest and listened to his breathing for a moment. "I'm not a healer, so I don't want to risk doing anything that might hurt him worse. Instead of enervating him, I think we should let him come to of his own accord, at least until a healer can take a look. I'm not sure what's been done."
"Remus filled us in on what happened," Grover commented. "I don't see how it was possible. The few we have posed as Death Eaters wouldn't be able to reveal themselves by protecting Harry in front of the other Death Eaters and You-Know-Who. If Veritaserum was given to me, I could honestly say I didn't know who we had posing as Death Eaters."
"Remus and I couldn't think of who helped Harry, who had access to him of those we have working for us."
"Hmm, it's a mystery for now."
Harry rubbed his eyes, not understanding what he was seeing. He saw himself in an open-coffin with Sirius standing alone beside him. They were off in a wooded area so far out in the brush that no sunlight managed to sneak its way in through the trees. The coffin stood beside a gravestone clearly reading:
Harry James PotterThe Boy Who Lived and Died
By Voldemort's Hand
15 years old
Rest in Peace
One strange thing, however, was that there was no hole in the ground for the coffin to be buried. Sirius, powder-white, appeared ready to fall over from tiredness and defeat.
"I tried, Harry, James. I tried my damndest, I promise. Yet I've still failed. Voldemort has taken over again, my closest friends are dead, and I have nothing left. I'm sending Harry to you, James. I hope to follow shortly." Closing the coffin lid over Harry's face, He raised his wand dejectedly and pointed it. "Sanctuaria." A burst of golden light enveloped the casket and sent it rocketing up to the clouds.
Sirius leapt up at Harry's side. "He's stopped breathing!" He stared down at Harry's face, which was quickly turning gray. Carolyn was quick to start Muggle-CPR, not knowing any other way to help him.
"I'm sending for Dumbledore." Remus took out a neon pink shoelace and made it disapparate.
"What was that? A self-sufficient portkey?" Sirius asked, panicked.
"Yes."
Dumbledore landed on the floor with a most unexpected figure at his side.
Harry opened the coffin lid as one would open a refrigerator door. "Where am I?" He mused out loud. It had seemed as though he was shooting up to the sky, but that's not where he ended up. A large room painted purple from ceiling to floor enclosed him and, with no doors, windows, or anything on the walls he felt boxed in. The room was lit brightly by an unseen source.
Unsure what to do next, Harry flopped down into a seated position and decided that if anything was to happen, he would let someone else initiate it. He was tired.
He didn't have long to wait. Silently, a figure moved itself away from the wall, camouflaged in purple robes that matched the room's color exactly. The figure smiled kindly behind Harry and began to speak. "Young Harry Potter, it's an honor."
Startled at hearing the voice, Harry jumped up, alert. The tall elderly man in purple robes and long pointed hat was smiling pleasantly and he looked so much like Dumbledore that Harry relaxed immediately. His beard was a lot longer and whiter, but without that small difference, the man and Dumbledore could've been twins. "Wh-Who are you?"
"Well, this meeting is all about you, really, Harry, but know that I am advisor and friend to all witches and wizards. Muggles, Half and Halfs, so-called Pure Bloods; 'tis no matter. I am here for those who need me, and you, my dear lad, need me."
Harry had wanted a name, but decided not to press him just then.
"Snape!" Sirius was partly disgusted, partly shocked
Snape and Dumbledore brushed by him and leaned over Harry. "Severus, could the Rebota Serum have caused some type of reaction in Harry?
Snape opened Harry's eyelids and felt his pulse. Taking out his wand, he whispered, "Respira alienta." Harry began to breathe again, and everyone in the room exhaled with relief.
"I'll have to remember that one," Carolyn remarked nervously.
Snape turned to Dumbledore, completely confused. "Professor, I don't understand. According to my study of Rebota Serum, there should be no ill reaction to the potion when met with any type of curse."
Dumbledore's face was enigmatic, but he merely said, "Well, Severus, as long as Mr. Potter continues to breathe and stay in this life, I suppose all we can do is wait for him to come out of the reaction. Suggestions for treatment?"
"If this is a reaction to the potion, enervation should be attempted every hour and he should be watched at all times, in case of another breathing episode." Snape was emotionless.
"What was this 'Rebota Serum' you mentioned, Professor?" Sirius asked. "We're still not sure what happened to Harry after Voldemort disapparated me."
Snape snorted. "Are you really so clueless about the latest chain of events, Black? I saw you at the very tavern you drowned your sorrows in at the end of nearly every night in Little Hangleton."
Sirius and Snape moved toward each other, but Remus held Sirius back. "There's no point, Padfoot."
"Remus is correct, Severus. There is no point in wasting time when you have urgent matters awaiting you. Please explain what happened. This is classified information that is not to leave this room, understood?" Everyone nodded solemnly.
Snape sighed. "The Lestranges and I are working against Voldemort under the guise of Death Eaters. We played along with Voldemort's scheme to retrieve Harry for him. They acted as his parents with Potter under the memory blocking charm placed upon him by the "cage" he was entrapped in. When whoever it was tried to disapparate him from the bars, the charm took place. The Lestranges were to get him to Voldemort sometime that week. My position as bartender was originally as keeping an eye out for newcomers in town, such as yourself, Black. The drink I gave Harry when Omnis brought him in was the Rebota Serum, which is a new potion of my own creation. When an illegal or deadly spell is placed on the drinker of the potion, they are immediately disapparated to either a person or location. I set the destination to be wherever Black was."
"What if I'd still been before Voldemort? What if he hadn't let me go?" Sirius demanded.
"Then that would've been Potter's misfortune." Snape sneered, but after a sharp look from Dumbledore, he continued with more restraint. "I know Voldemort's ways. He lives to make people as miserable and helpless as they can be. In your case, miserable wouldn't have been pain and death. Miserable would've been failing the last member of the Potter family and living to suffer the consequences."
Sirius was silenced by this, thinking of what would've happened had Harry died. He sat down beside Harry again and laid a hand on his arm thoughtfully.
Remus asked Snape, "What do you know of the two men who attacked Harry at the train station and the Death Eater doctor?"
"The two men were muggles hired by the Goyles. They were given the poisoned dagger to use and paid fifty pounds to harm Potter as much as they could without risking being caught. 'Dr. Wheeler' is Chrysanthia Wheaton, recent acquisition to the Death Eaters. She's a healer, but mostly spies for the Death Eaters." Snape was starting to look nervous. He rubbed his arm, trying to conceal a wince.
Dumbledore glanced at a pocket watch and then at Snape. "You'd best get back. I don't think there's much time to spare."
Snape nodded. He directed a sly look. "I'm to be called if any further symptoms occur. Before I go, however, I have some advice for you, Black—keep better watch of Potter. I may not be there to save him next time." He took a cue ball from the pocket of his robes and disappeared.
Sirius was furious—Snape had gotten the last word. "Damn that man!"
Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder and gently said, "Calm yourself. He's not the devil you make him out to be. Severus did Harry a great service, at risk of his own life."
Sirius quieted down. "He's always known the best targets to hit, that's all."
The purple-clad wizard paced back and forth before Harry a few times before sitting down on a purple cushion that had suddenly appeared. Harry felt one being slid under him as well.
"Well, lad, as we speak, your godfather and a whole roomful of people are quite concerned about you. You've had a bad reaction with a potion that saved your life and the Cruciatus Curse. Though I'm sorry for the cause of your being here, I'm glad for the chance to talk to you."
"Potion? What potion?"
"The explanation is quite lengthy, and you will know it soon enough, but basically you were saved from Voldemort by a potion that deflects any type of curse and disapparates you to a loved one. That's how you were returned to Sirius."
This only filled Harry with more questions, but the wizard held up a finger. "We may not have much time, lad. Trust me, you will understand soon."
"So if I'm not dead, where am I?"
"You're in the room outside of Peace."
"Peace?"
"It's similar to Muggles' "Heaven." We wizards wanted our own resting place after death, so with good senses of humor, we created our own destination. You know what gravestones say—Rest in Peace—well, you're there. Rather, almost there. If you do not recover, you'll stay, but I have optimistic premonitions of your leaving quite soon."
"Are my parents here?"
"James and Lily? Yes, we had tea just yesterday and had a chat about you. They're so proud, though they've been quite worried about you and your dealings with Voldemort the past few years."
"Can I see them?"
"Only if you die, lad, unfortunately." Harry's look of disappointment caused the wizard to continue. "But they see you, hear you, watch you all the time. They're always nearby."
The thought made Harry smile. Of course many people had told him things like that about his parents over the years, but having this strange man who was in Peace with his parents helped him know it was true.
Peering over Harry's shoulder at what must've been an invisible clock, the wizard seemed hurried. "There is much to say. It won't all make sense to you now, but it will. Lie down on the cushion, close your eyes, listen, and watch."
"You were not born an ordinary child. Your parents had amazing powers and captured many Dark Wizards in their time. Once you were born, however, they were happy and safe for a time with you and their friends before being betrayed by Peter Pettigrew. You suffered at the Dursleys before finally finding your home at Hogwarts and your place in the wizarding world. You made great friends and allies and have defeated Voldemort multiple times now. You won again today, and will continue to win. Good always overcomes evil, young Potter, in the end. No matter how merciless, how trying, how difficult times are, the work is worth it. You will defeat Voldemort, lad. Not alone, but you will be the one to wave his wand last. The Heir of Gryffindor shall overcome the Heir of Slytherin."
"Heir of Gryffindor?" Harry managed to mumble despite his hazy mind. "Me?"
"Yes, you, lad. But don't tell anyone. Keep it tucked away in your mind, but know it when you need the information. Know it the way one knows it's rained upon their awakening.
Once Harry had closed his eyes and lay down, all the wizard's words blurred and mixed into colors of the various scenes before him. He saw himself as a baby, his parents' faces, Sirius, Lupin, Wormtail, the murder, growing rapidly at the Dursleys until he turned eleven and was on his way to Hogwarts, Ron, Hermione, himself defeating Voldemort and saving the Sorcerers Stone, in the Chamber of Secrets, in the Shrieking Shack, at the Triwizard Tournament facing Voldemort, Sirius over him in the scienwitzist lab, and now as he was listening to the hypnotizing voice. He floated above each scene. Godric Gryffindor's sword was in front of him and he reached out to grasp its handle. Once doing this, he felt a strong wind begin to blow, like the one that had rocketed him to Peace in the first place.
"You are to go back, lad. You must go back to your family and friends. They need you. Best of luck, Harry Potter! Tell Dumbledore Merlin sends greetings of lemon drops and tell him to tuck in!"
"He's waking up!" Remus Lupin's voice announced. Other voices chimed in, excited and relieved.
Harry felt hands on his arms and shoulders and one on his foot. He opened his eyes, alert, and glanced up at the people surrounding him—Remus, Sirius, Dumbledore, Grover Fudge, and Carolyn. "What happened?"
Sirius, Remus, and Dumbledore took turns filling him in starting from his staying with the Lestranges to his apparation back to the scienwitzist lab. Once they had finished, Harry felt a rush of remembrance. "I remember," he told them. "It was like I was watching myself the whole time. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't really. Does that make sense?"
Most nodded, and Remus commented, "I've heard that's a common reaction to memory blocking charms."
Harry sat there a moment, thinking. "I dreamed about something, I can't remember what it was...Oh, Professor Dumbledore, Merlin said to send greetings of lemon drops and to tell you to tuck in." The moment he said it, he clearly recalled his visit in Peace with the wizard he now realized had been Merlin.
The room was silent. "Uh, Merlin, Harry?" Carolyn asked in a tone that clearly threatened St. Mungo's mental ward.
Dumbledore smiled. "Tuck in," he mused. "I certainly will." Looking at all the confused expressions on everyone's faces, he revealed, "I'm Merlin's great-great-great grandson," as if that should explain it all. He turned to Harry. "So you spoke to Merlin, did you? I'm glad he had the good sense to send you back. That was no dream, Harry. You were there."
"Where?" Grover Fudge asked, thoroughly confused.
"Just outside Peace. Harry had what some muggles call an out-of-body experience, and what we know as The Wizard's Decision. Merlin is The Wizard."
Carolyn was surprised. "I never knew that. I just thought it was the person who was dying's decision—to stay or go."
"Does Merlin decide for everyone?" Harry wondered out loud, thinking about his parents.
Sirius, Remus, and Dumbledore immediately tuned into his thoughts. "No, Harry," Sirius answered. "Some people are too hurt, too sick, or die immediately, and they never get the chance."
"If everyone got to decide whether they lived or died, Voldemort would be at a loss, wouldn't he? His power lies in the death of others who don't obey him," Remus added thoughtfully.
"Well, we have Merlin to thank for Harry's return, I suppose, don't we?" Dumbledore said. "Is he still getting into mischief, I wonder?"
With that comment, Harry related the tale of the room outside Peace.
Once Harry had finished, Grover Fudge remarked, "I may just have to stay Minister of Magic. It's a rather exciting job."
"Too bad it has to be this kind of excitement," Dumbledore added.
"Yes, yes indeed." Grover snapped back to business. "Well, Dumbledore, I'll be seeing you get your job back as soon as possible. Sirius, you have your trial to get ready for. You and Harry will be staying in one of the wizard refuges until your appointed lawzard comes for you a couple hours before the trial. Harry will not be allowed in, I'm afraid. There will be tight security and only those who are directly connected to this case will be in the courtroom."
Sirius didn't like the last part, but kept his mouth closed. Remus and Harry nodded in understanding.
"You'll be staying in Godric's Glen. There's no Death Eater activity there." Fudge continued.
Harry's eyes opened wide at the name. "Is that near where my parents lived?"
Sirius avoided the question, but Remus gave a quick nod.
"Settled, then?" Grover asked.
Everyone nodded. Dumbledore turned to Sirius, "I'll see you at the trial, Sirius. Have confidence. We have Peter Pettigrew himself as evidence. And that other matter can be completed once you're cleared. Remus, you and Arabella are to find the Muggles involved in the stabbing. Others will handle the search for Wheaton."
Sirius and Remus nodded, tense.
"Goodbye, for now, Harry. We shall both be back at school soon."
Harry tried to answer but felt choked, like his airways had closed. He nodded his acknowledgement.
Dumbledore, Remus, and the scienwitzists disapparated. Grover Fudge shook Sirius's hand and gave him a blue rabbit's foot. "This will take you to where you'll be until you find a place of your own. Best of luck to you both. See you Friday." He disapparated up to his office.
"Ready, Harry?" Sirius asked, turning to him. Harry's face was that awful, ashen gray once more. And now there was no help. Damned if he would call Snape.
Harry let Sirius help him lie down. "Sirius," he started.
"Don't. Don't try to talk. Respira alienta!"
Harry's throat opened again, and he took in all the air he could in one breath. "I gotta learn to do that myself."
"We'll have to talk to Snape if it doesn't clear up, much as we hate him. Come, put a finger on this portkey. Let's get out of here."
An owl dropped a letter in Ron's lap that evening.
Ron,
Everyone is safe, and the trial is a go for Friday. You'll see H soon. More later.
Dad
Ron and Hermione filled the Great Hall with shouts of joy.
The portkey took Sirius and Harry to a small, well-furnished house with a great view of a lake. "How's your breathing, son?" The word had slipped from Sirius's mouth. He took sudden great interest in looking outside.
Family, Harry remembered Merlin saying. That's what he wanted more than anything. Although his parents couldn't give it to him, they had chosen someone who would eventually be able to. "Sirius," he began, "after the trial and you're free, you'll be able to be my godfather, right?"
Sirius turned from the window, troubled. "I'm your godfather now, Harry."
"Oh, I know, but I mean legally. Can I write to you out in the open and come home for holiday?"
Sirius relaxed. "Of course."
"Can I...can I...erm..." Harry had trouble getting the words out. "Can I call you Dad?"
Sirius swallowed hard, surprised and overcome. "Yes. Yes, if you like."
Harry flushed slightly, embarrassed he'd asked. He wondered if Sirius's surprise was a good or bad sign. "I mean, I know you aren't my dad, but you're as good as, and I think Dad would be okay with it, but if you don't want me to, I..."
Sirius stopped him. "I'd like it very much, Harry." He watched Harry relax, and made a suggestion. "How about we test that lake out? Looks like it's been waiting for us."
The two put on Muggle shorts and swam for a long time, until it was dark. Sirius found a deep place, deep enough to dive in, and promised he'd teach Harry how the next day. The boy would be swimming like a fish, like James, in no time. Sirius was going to try his best to make up for lost time.
Once they were inside, they changed into pajamas and sat by the fire. Hedwig hooted with satisfaction. Sirius handed Harry a butterbeer. "Harry, I've been wrong not to talk to you about your parents earlier. When we were in our last year at Hogwarts, everything in the wizarding world was starting to change. Voldemort was gathering Death Eaters fast. Remus, your parents, and I made the final decision to become Aurors. The training's hard work. There were days when we didn't think we could continue, but we did because we wanted a better world. For ourselves, for everyone. James and Lily married immediately after the training. As Aurors we all felt like we were living on borrowed time, and they didn't want to waste any. We followed any leads we could, captured several Death Eaters—and the bounties on their heads. We were some of the best. We worked on Mad Eye's team." Sirius paused and took a swig from his own Butterbeer. Harry watched him, hungry for more.
"When Lily found out she was pregnant with you, she and James were at their happiest—but saddest at the same time. They were high on Voldemort's target list—they were too powerful. They went into hiding, over in Godric's Hollow. Remus and I saw them as much as I could. Wormtail was assigned as their secret keeper. I was afraid I'd bungle the whole thing, be responsible for anything bad that happened. As their best friend, I would've been the obvious secret-keeper. I loved James and Lily too much to let that happen. In hindsight, I should've...if only..."
Harry scooted closer. "You didn't know. If only I hadn't been born, that's what would've saved them. Mum, at least. Voldemort killed her for protecting me."
Sirius looked up, angry. "Harry, I don't ever want to hear you say that again. Wish I hadn't heard it now. You were the best thing that happened to them. Voldemort would've killed your mother anyway. Voldemort caused their deaths. Not you."
"Not you either, then," Harry said.
"No, I suppose not. All the troubles in our lives, Harry, are due to Voldemort."
"That's why he's got to die. We've got to end this."
"You're so young, and you've gone through so much. Remus knows you have a part to play in this, and, with reservations, so do I. I just can't lose you, Harry." Sirius added, "Son," under his breath.
"You won't. You're stuck with me." Harry tried to lighten the mood. "And tomorrow, I'm going to beat you across the lake. The whole lake."
"Taking on the whole lake after a few swims? Awfully brave. We'll have to see who touches grass first."
The next morning after breakfast Harry and Sirius went back out to the lake, where Sirius tried to teach Harry how to dive. Harry's first attempt was a harsh belly-flop. When he resurfaced with a red upper torso, Sirius was laughing. "I think you need to try that again, lad."
Harry tried and tried again, and on the seventh try, nailed it. Sirius applauded. "All right, good job! Now how about that race you mentioned last night?" Harry grinned.
Starting along the bank on the south side, the two had to make it all the way to the north side. "Ready?" Harry asked. "On three. One, two..." Sirius kicked off.
"Hey!" Harry yelled, laughing, and kicked off as well. He used as much speed as he could and made it to the other end, seconds before Sirius. He climbed out of the water, panting.
"Good show, Harry!" Sirius said. Catching his breath as well, he climbed out and sat beside Harry on the grass. He was breathing again easily before Harry. "You alright? Throat closed up again?"
Harry shook his head no, although he wasn't sure. "Just...can't...catch...my breath."
"Let's take it easy for a bit. Enjoy the art of floating, perhaps." Sirius watched him suspiciously, even after Harry's breathing returned to normal. Harry tried extra-hard to convince him he was fine. Sirius didn't need to leave for his trial worrying about him. He dunked Sirius and they swam underwater. Harry was glad this lake didn't have mermaids, but he rather missed his gills. He had to keep coming up for air.
Late that afternoon Remus apparated in unexpectedly. "Sirius, you've got to come with me. Arabella's away on other business, and I've found the muggles who stabbed Harry. I need your help."
"I've been wanting to meet up with them, but who's staying with Harry?"
Remus answered reluctantly, "No one's available. Everyone's either on business or headed to your trial. If you and I don't get these muggles tonight, we may lose them. Harry will be quite safe. No one knows he's here, honestly. Our spies among the Death Eaters say Voldemort is growing impatient. There are simply no clues."
Sirius still didn't like it. "We won't have time to come back before the trial either. That leaves him alone nearly a day."
"This is important, Sirius."
"I know, I know." Sirius, frustrated, was having an awful struggle. "I remember the days having no attachments. These things were much easier. No one to trouble about or worry with. Okay, let's go." He called toward the kitchen for Harry. When Harry came out, he looked upset. Sirius didn't have time to think about it, and told him where he was going. "Be safe, don't move from this house. I'll be back tomorrow after my trial—as long as everything goes well."
Harry said abruptly, "You'll be free again soon."
Sirius clapped Harry's shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow...son." Remus heard "son" and looked a bit confused. Harry headed back to the kitchen.
"Let's get going," Sirius said.
"You and Harry have patched things up, then?" Remus asked.
"Yes, yes we have. And if the trial works out in my favor, we can truly be father and son."
Remus smiled sadly, missing James yet happy for Sirius. He held out a piece of black licorice, and the two men disappeared.
Harry, hearing the pop, came from the kitchen and dashed out the front door, eyes red, jaw set. He had somewhere to go.
Not sure where Godric's Hollow was in relation to Godric's Glen, Harry asked an old woman passing by.
"Oh, it's but two miles from here, straight down this road. You can make it before dark."
Harry thanked her and kept moving. He had to see his parents' house before Sirius got back the next day and found him missing. He had to see where it all happened.
He made it just as the sun was beginning to set. Not wanting to ask anyone where the Potter house had been, Harry looked for the house he'd seen so often in his dreams and visions, and, sure enough, he found it in the outskirts of town. It hadn't been lived in since, and was run down, but it was the most beautiful house to Harry. Making sure no one was watching, he climbed in a broken window.
It was the living room. Right in front of the doorway, his dad had fallen dead instantly after Voldemort's curse. He fell down suddenly, surprised, across the living room floor. Harry shook his head, trying to shake out the sight. He explored the kitchen and study. Every room was devoid of furniture, dishes, and all belongings. Now came the room he'd wanted to see his whole life—his. He went upstairs.
The nursery walls had a faded nighttime sky still painted on them. A chipped moon watched over the spot where Harry's crib had been. The window showed the real sky getting dark too. Harry lay down on the carpet, still soft after all these years.
Remus popped his head in the fireplace at Harry and Sirius's house late that night. "Harry!" He called. No answer. "Harry!" He shouted louder. It was late. Perhaps the boy was in one of the bedrooms. After all, he hadn't known anyone was going to try and contact him. Pushing aside mounting dread, he stood up and went toward his bed.
"How was Harry?" Sirius asked, yawning.
"Asleep on the couch, my friend. Get some rest. Big day tomorrow." Within minutes, Sirius was snoring, but Remus knew he'd be up a long time that night. "Please, Harry, be alright."
The sun streamed in the nursery window onto Harry's face. He woke with a start, disoriented. He looked outside, wondering what time it was. He had to leave himself enough time to get back to the house. Catching a glimpse of something white in the backyard, Harry went down to investigate.
Once outside in the wooded backyard, he recognized it from the dream he'd had about Sirius standing over his grave. Except this wasn't his grave. The big white tombstone read his parents' names. Harry touched the cold surface. "Mum, Dad, Sirius is having his trial today. He's finally going to be free. They have Wormtail, so there's no way it can go wrong. I asked him if I could call him Dad—I hope that's okay. I don't know how he feels about me—I think he thinks I'm going to slow him down. I've wanted you guys my whole life, and I can't have you." Harry felt tears come upon him, and he let them drop; soak into the ground. His throat reclosed, and he found it hard to breathe. He fell to the cool grass. Not again, he thought. He reached for his wand, then paused. Maybe I should let it suffocate me. I'll die here with my parents. I won't say Respira Alienta. Sirius won't have to look after me anymore. He'll really be a free man after his trial. I can't burden any more people.
Harry heard someone running through the grass. "Respira alienta!" A voice above him said.
No. Harry felt the magic open his throat back up, but he remained still, wishing for death. He didn't move, didn't breathe.
"Harry, can you hear me?" It was Remus. "Answer me." Harry felt him kneel down. "Come on, not now. Respira alienta!"
This time breath whooshed out of Harry, and he was forced to acknowledge Remus. He exploded, "You should've let me die! I'm a burden to Sirius. He doesn't really want me. This was the perfect way to die, with my parents."
Remus was shocked. "Harry, I came as soon as the trial was over. Peter's in custody, and
Sirius is free, just as we knew he would be. Do you know what he's doing right now? He's picking up adoption papers, Harry—adoption papers to make you legally his son. Do you know what it would have done to him, to get home, trace you here—as I did—only to find you dead?" Now, he was angry.
Harry was taken aback. "He was? He is?"
"Yes, he is. So tell me what's it's going to be—wait here until you have another breathing attack, or go home to a man who loves you and wants to be your father and friend? It's up to you. If you want to die now after all everyone's done to keep you alive, I won't stop you." Glancing at the boy's wounded look, Remus knew he'd gone too far. Harry had no one to care for him most of his life, and was feeling guilty now that people did. He sat down on the ground beside him.
"Harry, I didn't mean that. I don't like seeing you this way, hearing you talk this way. I love you nearly the way Sirius does—James was my best friend, too. He talked about all the things he wanted for you, and an early death certainly wasn't one of them."
"Yeah." Harry didn't look at Remus. He couldn't. He was ashamed at his weakness and selfishness. People had died for him—not just his parents either. People risked their safety everyday to keep him and others safe from Voldemort. "It was stupid, I'm sorry. Are you going to tell Sirius?"
Remus hesitated. "Not about you trying to let yourself die. As long as you never do it again. No taking unnecessary risks either. Your Devil-May-Care attitude isn't going to work anymore."
"I won't. Promise. Do you think Sirius is back yet?"
"Great Merlin, I hope not. He'll be out of his skin, wondering where we are. Let's get back. I have a portkey." He took out a mug.
"Wait, Remus," Harry said. "Thanks. I really didn't mean it. I don't know what I was thinking."
"Sirius wants you with him, Harry. He will be your guardian, friend, and father with great joy. Believe it and know it everyday. I'm your friend, too, and I expect you to come to me when you need something or want to talk. Come on." He put an arm around Harry, and they popped back into the living room.
"Harry, where have you been? And, Remus, you disappeared fast. I'm a free man! I can do cartwheels down Diagon Alley anytime I want! I can go into any pub, any shop, anywhere!" Sirius couldn't stand still. He was all over the room. He calmed down and stared at Harry and Remus for answers.
"I went to see my parents' house and grave. I had another breathing thing, and luckily Remus found me."
"Yes, er, Snape is going to have to come out. These breathing episodes can't continue," Remus added.
"Even Snape couldn't bother me now. I would've taken you to your parents' house." Sirius focused on Harry, concerned, and smoothed unruly hair away from Harry's forehead. "You alright now?"
"Yeah, better than alright—you're free!" Harry grinned widely.
"Hard to believe!" Sirius got serious again. "Some other business got taken care of, too, after the trial. You and Dumbledore will both be back at school in another week, for one."
Harry was happy and sad—happy to be seeing his friends again, but not wanting to leave Sirius so soon. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been back by the grave. "Er, before you go on, I have something else to say. When I had the breathing thing, I didn't say Respira Alienta. Not because I couldn't, but I thought you'd be better off."
Remus was proud of the boy's honesty.
Sirius asked slowly, "Better off?"
"Well, you're finally free, and I heard you say to Remus you didn't like having someone to worry about. You don't need me around."
"Harry, Harry, I didn't say I didn't like it! It puts more responsibility and pressure on me, but I want it because I want you in my life. This day is so great, mostly because of you. That's why..." Sirius dug around in his robe. "I brought this back." He unrolled a document and handed it to Harry.
The adoption papers. Harry couldn't speak.
"You don't have to sign, no pressure. It's an option, that's all."
Remus took this as his cue to leave. He hugged Harry and Sirius. "Congratulations, Padfoot—no one deserves freedom more. I'll be back tomorrow night with new instructions from Dumbledore." He put his hand on a paperclip in his pocket and was gone.
Sirius started to take the paper back. "Let's eat, I'm sure you're hungry."
"Not until I get a quill to sign this and become Harry James Potter Black." Harry looked stubbornly at Sirius.
Sirius pulled one out of his pocket. Harry signed his name without hesitation. "Now you're really stuck with me, Dad."
"Gladly, son, gladly. Now, next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll have no trouble grounding you."
"Hmm, can I have that paper back a minute?"
"Not a chance, Harry."