Chapter III-

A/N: Holy crap someone read this far! Leave a review and brighten my day? Once again, I'm really sorry I'm not writing much at a time, but I don't want people thinking I abandoned the story, so I want to keep updating frequently.

"Hello Stanley," a very smug, superior look filled Cartman's chubby face. Even his eyes were glinting with unsurpassable joy. The first sign that Cartman was one up on Stan, no one called him Stanley while looking that happy.

"It's Stan, Cartman," Stan replied suspiciously, as he was sitting on his bed, Cartman of course not caring that he might want privacy, and just walking in. "I guess it'd be a fruitless attempt to make you get rid of that key?"

"Yes, it would, my faggy pal," a snide reply came with another satisfied look to Stan's face which was slowly draining of color. This was too good to be true in Cartman's perspective, and somehow he even got a money scheme working in his mind out of it. Through Stan's eyes, this was stupid and annoying.

"What did you call me, Fat Boy?" Stan snapped, normally the insult wouldn't have gotten to him, but it did now, and there was nothing he could do about that.

"You threw up on him? Do tell me the details," Cartman, still under the impression he was going to win from the situation, was grinning brightly. His smile began to falter and the relieved and happy look on Stan's expression. Clearly Stan was able to find a way to get out of the weird dilemma that had all resulted because he couldn't hold in vomit.

"It was quite disgusting, really, seeing Kyle without a shirt on," he said, rather quicker than would be considered normal. This answer, surprisingly, made Cartman curse rapidly under his breath. He wasn't going to be able to get much out of Stan, he'd have to come up with a new plan.

"Sure, Stan, sure," Cartman slowly maneuvered back to the door and left, but he still had his crazy mind and plots. Cartman may not get a grade higher than a D in school, but he was very brilliant in his own, twisted little ways. We can't forget getting Scott to eat his own parents.

"What was that about?" Stan whispered quietly, almost nervously, as Cartman left. A few minutes later, Stan was still sitting in the same position, a worried expression on his face. He could not live in a world where Cartman was right. Kyle walked in, the same expression on his face.

"Was Cartman just here?" Kyle said awkwardly, as he glanced out of the window where the sun was beginning to set, but Cartman was walking around out there, clearly deep in thought, which was a strange look on the fat boy.

"He was, actually. Being even more of a dick than normal," Stan nodded.

"Even more than normal? Wow, just when I thought he couldn't get any worse," Kyle winked as he walked over to the window, just staring out of it for a little while. "I'm going to be turning in earlier, as it turns out it's exhausting to ski."

"Kyle, you really can't call falling over into the snow while on skis skiing," Stan snickered, Kyle was never going to live down sucking at the sport. "My offer still stands that I can teach you," he threw in, as he turned to leave again. He wanted to keep talking – probably for the first time in his life – to Cartman.

As Stan approached Cartman outside, he grabbed the boy's arm and dragged (with a lot of effort, that kid weighs a ton) him over to a bench, and forced him to sit down. "What were you talking about before, Cartman?" He said coldly, eyes narrowed; Stan was used to a lot of insults but he didn't like being called a fag.

Without even a word, Cartman glanced up at the building behind him, obviously checking something. Then, still remaining silent, he pulled Stan towards him and forced the surprised boy's lips on his own. "Hmm, just curious, Stan. You really are a fag, aren't you?"

Stan didn't even have a chance to pull away, but as Cartman left, Stan just looked shocked. What had that been about? Cartman was repulsed that he had to do that, but he enjoyed nothing more than making Jew-boy miserable, and he had the strong suspicion he'd just done a good job. Stan was just as disgusted as he spat into the snow, but the boy watching four stories above him hadn't seen that, Kyle Broflovski had only seen his best friend kissing Eric Cartman.