Disclaimer: nope, not mine none of it except the plot!
Summary: What if Grindelwald had defeated Dumbledore in 1945? What if, as a result of this, the entire wizarding world was segregated and those who weren't pure of blood were seen as second class citizens? What if a witch and wizard fell in love in a world that would never leave them in peace? Would things have turned out so different? Lily/ James
Rating: R. For swearing and some dark and adult themes.
A/N; This fic is not based on, but has been greatly influenced by the novel "Noughts and Crosses" by Malorie Blackman
I apologise for the alwful layout of this chapter my pcs messed up. It 'll be fixed next time tough. Promise!
Chapter 1: The assignment
Lily Evans rushed into the classroom and plonked her bag down on the
table. Distracted, she pulled out her assignment and began to read through
it, checking and double-checking facts in her textbook. She had no real
need for this, having spent two diligent hours on it last night. But that's
just the way she was: meticulous. If you're going to do something, do it
perfectly or not at all. No half measures: that was her motto.
She was just looking up the date that a small wizarding settlement had
swollen to the size of Jupiter due to someone miss-casting an enlargement
charm when a deep male voice sounded just in front of her, clouding her concentration.
"SHIT!"
Looking up irritated, she found two raven-haired boys obscuring her vision.
"Crap! Fuck! Shit! We had an assignment didn't we? I can't space it for
four weeks in a row I'll get detention again and we've got quidditch this
Saturday" ranted the messier haired teenager, collapsing ungracefully into the seat in front of her.
"Do it now," the second boy spoke dropping his bag to the floor and
slipping into his seat with a casual ease.
"Flitwick never takes them in 'till the end of the period. You got time,
mate"
"You done yours?"
"At breakfast" said the second boy pulling a few scarps of crumpled
parchment out of his robe pocket,
"Which reminds me...where were you at breakfast Prongs...?" the grin evident in his voice.
Black and Potter. Sirius and James. Padfoot and Prongs. Hogwarts
resident jokers, bad boys and (in most of the female population of
Hogwarts opinion) sex gods.Also two of the most arrogant, insufferable pricks Lily had ever had the
misfortune to meet.
She watched disgustedly as James began scribbling down his essay whilst
recounting the morning's tale to his companion who was in fits of
laughter by the end of it. She wasn't a very irritable person, but those two
did it for her. It wasn't the fact that they were slackers that got to her, it was the fact
that she knew they'd both easily get an "O" for that paper despite putting
in minimal effort. So would she, she hoped, but she'd toiled over it. She
knew she wasn't being very fair, after all it wasn't their fault were
prodigal but it still irked her.
Her mood heightened slightly though when a breathless, pink-cheeked
face appeared next to hers grinning so wildly that she couldn't help
smiling back.
"Looks like I made it then" said her best friend Maria taking a seat beside her
"Just" said Lily, indicating to the door where their minute professor was
stumbling in, tottering under an immense pile of books.
"Welcome class.."
The lesson passed uneventfully, unless you counted Lily scoring a total of
25 points for Gryffindor, but that was pretty much standard seeing as she
always offered any answer she knew, which usually turned out to be all of
them
James and Sirius offered no information, preferring to chatter in low
voices throughout the lesson and then reverting to writing notes when
told off.
Much to Lily's displeasure, James finished his essay (which was at least
as long as hers) about twenty minutes into the class, before reverting his
attention back on his social life.
At the end of class, however, Flitwick made an announcement. They were
to be assigned a paper, to be worked on in pairs, discussing whether or
not, it was morally right to use memory charms on fellow witches and
wizards. Lily felt herself grow eager at the thought of this. She had a
natural interest in politics and made a point of reading the Daily Prophet
and even muggle papersduring the summer and loved any form of
discussion or debating.
"You will be divided up according to your ability. The class ranks are upon the board if anyone's forgotten their place. Please pair up as follows: 1 with 2, 3 with 4 and so on. Let me know if there are any problems"
Lily glanced over at the list:
1.Lily Evans
2. Sirius Black/James Potter
4. Yamada Chang
She supposed that she would wind up with Yamada, which wasn't all
too bad. Yamada was a clever but very quite girl and unlikely to argue
with any point Lily raised, which could be frustrating at times but also
meant Lily had the upper hand at how things were done.
Sirius and James would partner each other, naturally, and even if Flitwick suggested they split up she knew they'd find a way round it. After all, they were marauders.
She walked up to the board where the rest of the class had congregated and stood awkwardly by Yamada, who gave her a small smile, and James and Sirius who blatantly ignored her. James Potter had actually had quite an interest in her at one point, but she suspected that was only because most girls fainted at the site of him, whereas she wouldn't give him the time of day if he asked for it. He saw her as a challenge, nothing more. After the sixth or seventh time he got rejected he gave up and had made a point of avoiding her since.
She opened her mouth to suggest that she work with Yamada to save hassle, when she realised that the rest of the class, having paired up already, were quite and watching the foursome.
"Ah what do we have hear? " said Flitwick squeakily, trotting over to the board.
"Hmmmmm. Right. Well the rest of you can be off; assignment is due in two weeks. You four stay a bit while we sort this out"
"Sir...I think me and Pad..I mean me and Sirius should work together"
"Really Mr. Potter? And why is that?"
"Well Sir isn't the whole point of partnering us like this so we are with people of similar abilities. And me and James are equal so it makes sense", Sirius contributed.
"Yes, I do see your point Mr.Black, and yet have you thought what will happen to Miss. Evans if you partner Potter? "
"Well she can go with Yamada"Lily bristled slightly at Potters disregarding tone.
"I must say, you too really do have a habit of answering each others questions don't you?"
"Sorry Sir," they chimed in perfect unison
"You see the thing is, boys, while Yamada is one of my most exemplary students", he smiled and nodded in her direction, "She is not quite up to the same standard as Miss Evans here"
Lily felt herself blush slightly at that.
"And to be completely honest with you two, I am slightly concerned as to the amount of effort that will be put into this project if you do it together" he indicated to Sirius coffee stained essay parchment,
"We'll do really well we promise"
"I'm quite sure you will that wasn't my concern," their professor replied, leaving the two teenagers confused.
Lily felt her stomach drop. If this was leading where she thought it was she was going to be in for a tough two weeks.
"So I think we'll have Mr. Black and Miss Chang working together and Mr. Potter and Miss. Evans. Remember: two weeks. And I'm expecting to be impressed"
"But sir..."
"You can't split us...
"I can't work with her..."
"Boys, boys, BOYS! That is enough! I have made my decision and it is final! You will work with whom I've put you with. Right, now run along ..."
Suspicions confirmed, Lily turned, her intent being to leave the classroom. as soon as possible.
She couldn't believe this.
How was she supposed to complete an entire assignment with James Potter?
They couldn't even manage a civil conversation. And she had really looked forward to this paper, really hoped she could put her all into it. Now it looked like it was going to be hell. Sighing she headed back to Gryffindor's common room to find her friends and tell them the bad news.
...........................................................................................
"Whomph! That was one hell of a night! You reckon Moony changed
back Ok?"
"Dunno Padfoot. He usually does"
"Yeah. Does dunne? What do you reckon that opening was we found?
You think it could be a new passageway or jus another way in to that
room we found a coupla months back?"
"Dunno Padfoot I really don't"
"I wanna know what you think Wormtail..."
James lay down on his bed and listened to his friends bicker. He wasn't in
the mood for socialising. Despite what Padfoot said, the night had been
pretty uneventful and hadn't improved his mood as much as he'd hoped.
"I'm bleeding starving...."
"Me too Padfoot. Do want me to go and get you something?"
"If that's ok with you Wormy..."
"Course Sirius"
"Cheers then mate,"
Peter, looking particularly chuffed at that last comment, scurried out the
room. Sirius turned to James immediately
"What's wrong James?"
James sighed, knowing he shouldn't have been so stupid to think that his
sulk would go unnoticed, especially by his best friend.
"Nothing," he replied messing up his hair distractedly, a gesture he often practised when worried or preoccupied.
"Yeah Ok. My wedding with Snape is next week, by the way,"
He couldn't help grinning at that,
"It's just that..."
"It's having to do the assignment with Evans innit?"
James paused, feeling slightly embarrassed. He was being pathetic.
"Yeah, yeah it is..."
"You would have been jumping up and down with joy at that less than a year ago"
"Times change Pad,"
"True," Sirius nodded and they fell into a comfortable silence for a few seconds,
"Unless of course the reason you're dreading it so much is because you still like her,"
James turned his head sharply at that.
"Nah... that ain't true"
"Yeah alright,"
Truth be told he wasn't quite sure why he hated the prospect of more time with Evans. He didn't like her anymore, romantically or platonically, so Padfoot wasn't right about that. He didn't think. He guessed it was because she had hurt and embarrassed him so much back in fifth year. He had never truly been emotionally damaged like that before and since "the incident" he had tried his best to forget she existed. And that would be much harder to do if they were expected to meet regularly.
It was quite funny actually; the only girl he truly ever liked was the only one ever to reject him.
How fucking ironic.
"So you don't fancy her anymore?"
"No! Pad, how many times do I have to tell you!"
"Oooooooh," mocked Sirius, "looks whose mardy"
"Shut up," James replied whacking Sirius around the head with his pillow, Sirius responded by chucking several back at him. Then Wormtail returned and the trio engaged in a furious combination between a pillow war and a food fight.
...................................................................................................
Lily yawned loudly and put down her spoon. She sat feeling warmed and fed and comfortable while she listened to her five friends chatter amicably. She felt too sleepy to offer anything into the conversation, which was about the six-some's plans for the Christmas holidays, but knew her friends didn't expect her to. She looked up at the ceiling, which was a dusky twilight blue, and daydreamed for a bit, she'd always wondered....
"Earth to Lils,"
"Huh?" She turned to see her friend Clara rolling her eyes and smiling at
her.
"You say something, hun?"
All five of her friends burst out laughing,
"Yup, she's away with the fairies again,"
"I am not!," she replied indignantly but began to giggle anyhow and soon
the whole lot of them were hysterical.
It was Maria who brought her crashing back down to Earth.
"So, when you gonna talk to Potter about this assignment thing?"
Shit.
"You can't avoid it forever, and my advice would be to do it sooner
rather than later,"
"I know, I know..."
"So later tonight then?"
"Tonight!?!"
"Yes Lily, Tonight,"
"Go talk to him Lils,"
"Yeah go on, you gotta do it at some point"
Lily felt the bubble of unease swell inside her chest as they approached the table where Potter and Lupin were sitting, playing exploding snap.
She was going to have to talk to him. Yuck.
"Potter?"
He blatantly ignored her and continued his game. She had never remembered being so shocked. She always knew he was arrogant and a bit rude. But the nerve...
"Potter!"
He very slowly gathered up his hand and turned to face her. He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes?" he asked insolently.
It took all of Lily's self control to stop her flaring up on the spot. At first she said nothing, still taken back by his obvious disrespect. How could anyone be so rude?
"Well? Is there a reason you're staring at me like this or did you just come to admire the view?"
he smirked as Lily blushed crimson.
"No! I've come about the assignment,"
"What about it?"
"Well, I was thinking, we're going to have to arrange a time to meet up aren't we? I mean we have a lot of work to do; we need to decide on our argument, draw up a structure layout, work out a..."
"OK! I asked you for an answer Evans not a fucking lecture,
"You can't talk to me like that!"
"I thought I just did,"
She sighed; this was going to be a hard two weeks.
"Listen: we may not like it but we still need to arrange a time to work together,"
He glared at her, "Fine,"
"How about Tuesdays and Thursdays, 8:30 in the library? We can always arrange more times if we need to,"
"God forbid,"
She rolled her eyes, "Right well that's that then, see you tomorrow,"
"Whatever,"
Lily walked away, congratulating herself for not loosing it a smacking him clean across the face.
How could he be so arrogant? How could anyone?
She didn't have a clue why he was so popular. Must be because of the quidditch. But that wouldn't really explain all of the wizards in the school who hero-worshipped him and his swine of a best friend and would prepared to lick their shoes given half a chance.
Not feeling like talking to her friends she headed straight back to her dormitory to get an early night, and continue dreading tomorrows meeting with Potter.
................................................................................................
He felt sick, panicky. Bidding Moony goodnight he stood up and fled to his dormitory. He couldn't believe himself.
How could he let it happen again?
No, this time it wouldn't go as far. This time he was ready, prepared. Prepared to feel nothing.
No emotion.
He was James Potter. Part of the notorious marauders of Gryffindor, he was at the height of cool.
And there was no way he was going to be broken by Lily Evans.
...........................................................................................
Lily approached the library at eight twenty five. She had began jotting some notes down on ideas for the paper and had her notes hugged against her chest in a neat stack, along with numerous books that she thought would assist them, including a Muggle politics book.
She had done some thinking over the past twenty-four hours and had come to a conclusion: this was her assignment and Potter was not going to ruin for her. If he wanted to be rude, difficult and slack off then so be it. She was not going to let some snotty little boy take away her pleasures. If he became unbearable, she had decided, she would simply tell him that she was quite willing to do all the work and still give him half the credit.
That would surely see the back of him.
She entered the library and settled herself at a table in a small alcove right at the back. Apart from liking this secluded spot, she thought it would save both her and Potter a lot of embarrassment if they argued (which she was sure they would) here, away from the mass of studying students nearer the door. She set down her materials on the table in front of her and opened the Muggle Politics book to a chapter named "Morals". She became so immersed that it wasn't until Potter was standing right over her that she noticed his presence.
"Hi," she muttered as he took a seat opposite her. Glancing at the clock she noticed he was over ten minutes late, but decided not to comment.
She wasn't trying to argue with him,
"What are those?" He began without greeting,
"There some books. It thought they might help," she replied coolly,
"Right Ok then," He made himself comfortable and then looked at her,
Well?"
Lily was rather taken a back by this,
"Well what?"
He sighed dramatically,
"What do you think?"
"About what?"
"Bloody hell, Evans I thought you were supposed to be intelligent," he
picked up the assignment brief
"'It is Morally Wrong To Use Memory Charms on Fellow Witches and
Wizards-Discuss', I don't know about you but I'd rather know what side
we're taking before we plunge straight into it,"
She was so startled she wouldn't have been surprised if her mouth had
been hanging open,
"What?"
"You heard me Evans I know you did,"
"Yes, well..."
She tried to pull herself together enough to give him a well
rounded opinion. Out of all the surprising things he said over the last few
days this was by far the most shocking. It was utterly out of character.
"I...well... Wizarding society doesn't condemn doing it to Muggles do they?"
"That's necessary," he replied bluntly
"Yes, I know it is but does that make it morally right?"
"Well it doesn't matter does it? The fact is it needs to be done..."
"Well maybe there are times when its necessary for wizards to be obliviated too,"
"Like what? There aren't really any extreme enough circumstances and the fact is these are people's memories we're talking about, every wizard and witch has a right to a memory,"
"But Muggles don't?" she shot back
"I don't know about you Evans but personally I count the exposure of the entire Wizarding world a just enough cause for that,"
"Well perhaps you do but it's irrelevant. This assignment is about morals, what is "right" to do and what is "wrong". Muggles and Wizards share that in common so you can't argue that its wrong for one group to be subjected but not for another,"
"I agree with you," he said quietly after a pause, shocking her for what seemed the umpteenth time,
"But you must admit that that moral concept left our society decades ago. You couldn't use that as a basis for an argument,"
"Why on earth not?"
"Evans you just need to look around a bit to see that its been forgotten. Few people realise the concept of equality is even feasible,"
She stared back blankly,
"Your Muggle-born aren't you Evans?"
"Yes," she replied, confused at the randomness of the question
"I thought so. How often do you visit wizarding settlements?"
"Well, I go to every Hogsmead weekend,"
"Apart from Hogsmead,"
She furrowed her brow, trying to think,
"Well I get my school supplies in Diagon Alley each year,"
"How long do you stay there?"
"Oh I don't know. Potter what on earth is the point in this I'd really rather..."
"Just think. How long do you spend?"
"I don't know not long a couple of hours maybe just visit the shops we need to then leave,"
"Who do you go with?"
"Maria"
"That'd explain it,"
"What on Earth? Potter last thing I knew you were telling me that equality doesn't exist anymore and suddenly you jump to this. I mean..."
He scowled deeply,
"I'm trying to illustrate a point, but if you're to bloody impatient to hear me out then fine,"
The lure of what he was getting at was too great for her too distract him with a scathing remark, so she settled for shooting him a dirty look. He scowled deeper still but continued,
"Have you never wondered why Maria's parents never go with you to get a drink or an ice-cream after you've been shopping? Has it never striked you as odd?"
"well..." She thought for a while, "I guess it always did seem a bit strange yes. But again I really don't se where this is going..."
"Do you know why?" He cut across her forcefully
"No,"
"
You can't think of anything?" he, raised a sceptical eyebrow,
"Well, Maria comes from a whole family of wizards ...I...Oh god. It's because she's Pureblood isn't it?"
Potter nodded grimly,
"But I from what I've read Purism was stamped out after Grindelwald's death in the sixties,"
He forced an exasperated laugh,
"Really Evans when are you going to learn that there's more to life than you're precious bloody books!"
"How dare you,"
she hissed and the two of them stared daggers at each other, neither willing to back down. Lily had never remembered feeling so threatened or intense in her life. Potter's hazel-gold eyes seem alight with a fire that made her want to hide her face in her knees. But she'd never let herself be so weak. Never.
Eventually, after what seemed like 5or 6 minutes he slumped back into his chair ruffling up his hair as he did so,
"Sorry," he mumbled, barely audible, "It just...it really gets to me that's all,"
"What does?" and for once her voice had a soft edge to it.
"This whole thing. It's just wrong, I don't know how anyone lives with it,"
"But you're a White, aren't you?"
"So?" he almost spat back
"I... well you don't have to suffer much do you?" she regretted saying it the moment the words left her mouth. Potter's jaw tightened visibly as he turned to face her,
"So that's how I seem to you do I?" he seethed in a low voice, a shadow passing behind his brown eyes, "Just because I have it good I'm not allowed to think whats happening is unjust?"
"No...I just...,"
"
You know people have always said it's the Whites faults for what's been going on, but it's not true! It's attitudes like yours that are to blame! People who assume things because of purity without even bothering to ask..."
"Potter! You said it yourself! I'm..." Lily gulped, it was going to take a lot of willpower to say the next part, "I'm clueless, I didn't even know and. I'm sorry, I guess, if not knowing is a crime big enough to apologise for,"
He did nothing but give a curt nod, avoiding her eyes. There conversations had swung from civilised to argumentative like a pendulum that just refused to stop still. It was being to frustrate her. They'd make a bit of progress only for it to be shattered again by one of them being too self-righteous. Blind hatred had been so much easier,
"So...we were saying about our argument..." Lily ventured figuring that one of them, at least, would have to make the effort.
He heaved a great sigh, "yeah,"
"Well, I guess we could compromise..."
James's brow furrowed "How do you mean?"
"Well...we could make our argument, like I said, that if it's morally wrong for one group then it's also wrong for the other,"
James made a noise as if he were about to talk but cut across him,
"But then we could add in a section about while this is morally right, I would never work in pratice because of ...things,"
He caught her eyes then smiled warmly. He had never smiled at her before, only smirked and it seamed to have a weird sort of effect on her, like she had just drunk a large bottle of butterbeer very quickly.
"You, know that really is a good idea," he said finally and she blushed slightly as she smiled back.
He swallowed , "So shall we start planning,"
Lily spent the rest of the evening enjoyably. James was a good person to work with. He was very intelligent and though they did have many heated debates, it was never personal issues they raised, only political. Lily secretly enjoyed the thrill of it, and at some points in the evening, she was sure he did too. They planned their entire assignment, which was a colossal amount further than Lily had expected to get that evening.
She carried on scribbling, that warm feeling she had got when he smiled at her still swirling in the pit of her stomach. Their assignment was going to rock.
..........................................................................................
"James could you check that for me I don't know..." she trailed off, and he could see she was still finding it quite hard to admit defeat. So he spared her the pain of it,
"Sure," he took the paper from her and scanned through it, all the time aware of her tense form opposite him. She was such perfectionist, it was really quite endearing.
"Yeah that's fine," she visibly relaxed and smiled, "thanks...."
He was about to hand the paper back but his michevious marauder instinct had gotten the better of him,
"There is one thing though," he said solemnly and practically saw lily's spirits crumble,
"What?" she asked quietly but urgently , "did I make a mistake?"
"I' afraid so," he heaved a great sigh, "and, unfortunately may I add, it's a rather significant one,"
"
oh, no..."
"Lily you don't quite seemed to have grasped the concept,"
"Wh..what? How?"
"You see, Lily, this is quite an advanced concept," she bristled particularly at his implication that she couldn't handle it, making it excessively hard for him not grin foolishly at her.
"Well, you see the word 'witness' is infact spelt with one 't', not two," he continued in the same professor-like solemn voice, as he pointed out her spelling error. She froze, not seeming to quite understand the situation, so he continued, "this is really is despicable Evans,"
She turned slowly, and for a moment he thought he'd pushed it too far. Then she faced him with a look of such comic incredulity that he couldn't help but laugh and after a while she began to laugh back and soon the pair were giggling away like maniacs. He looked at her as she laughed, and noticed how she got dimples when she smiled that dazzling smile of hers. Her cheeks were flushed slightly and the laughter was dancing in her enchanting emerald eyes as she tossed her deep cinnamon curls behind her shoulder.
She was so, so very beautiful.
It was almost midnight when they left the library, both their eyes itching
with tiredness. James had spent the last hour since he played the joke on
Lily staring at her, fascinated. He was angry at himself. He knew he was
falling for her again, and he knew it would just end in tears again. But he
just couldn't help it. She was amazing. And she seemed to be accepting
him.
Maybe now was the time to put his reputation on the line.
................................................................................................
Lily walked with James back to the common room, occasionally stealing
glances at him. It was true, she hardly knew him, but he seemed to be
nervous. Though about what, she could not fathom. They reached the
Fat Lady and after giving her the password (doxies daughters) James let
Lily through in front of him. When they reached the common room it was
deserted, and I can't blame them, thought Lily, stifling a yawn. She
turned to James and smiled
"Goodnight James," she said, "See you tomorrow"
"Yeah," he said hurriedly, then swallowed. She turned to head up to her
dormitory,
"Lily, wait," she turned, "There's an...i mean...next weekends a
Hogsmead weekend and I was wondering if..well...you know maybe we
could link up or something?" Her heart became to race.
Was he asking her out?
"I mean you don't have to or anything it's just a suggestion," he
babbled .Lily sighed deeply, a slight constricting feeling forming in her
chest,
"Sorry, James, I really do appreciate the offer but just...not now ok? Not
yet"
"Oh well, yeah," he turned slightly pink and suddenly she felt like the
Wicked Witch of the West,
"I mean I didn't mean it like that or anything
Just mates you know, id bring Sirius and.. and you could bring Maria
and..." he stopped and looked at the floor scuffing it with his shoes. She wasn't fooled.
"James," she said softly walking down to meet him. He may not be
boyfriend material, she thought, but he can be very sweet. She stopped infront of him,
"James?" she ventured and his honey brown eyes met hers tentatively.
She had never seen them so filled with emotion before, never seen then so
vulnerable, so hurt.
For some inexplicable reason she was reminded of Bambi from the old
muggle movie she used to love as a child, when he was lost in the snow...
"Thank you," she said earnestly, standing on tiptoes and giving him a
light brief hug, before turning and retreating up the staircase,
"For what?"
his voice sounded softly into the darkness, tickling her ears softly as
she continued silently up the dark staircase.
Authours note: I hope you like it. Please give me feedback-both good and bad appreaciated. My main fear is that this fic is too clichéd but I am planning to change that as it moves on. Please review. The more I get the faster I update. Lol (aint blackmail the best heheheheh).