Chapter VI-

"W-what? W-whoa Stan...." Kyle looked shocked, and assumed for a minute he was having a really wacky dream. Maybe he'd taken a nap while outside, and he was imagining this, but even if he was, he had to enjoy the dream.

Stan's face turned as red as Kyle's, "Er, was that bad?" He asked, looking mortified at what he'd just done. He leapt out of Kyle's lap and fearfully stared at his best friend, wondering if he'd just completely screwed over their friendship.

Kyle couldn't help but be amused at Stan's alarm, as he stood up, facing him, "No, that wasn't bad at all... quite the contrary," he leaned in, prepared this time, even though it felt weird and unnatural at first for him to be doing this with Stan.

Both boys were shy and embarrassed, but walked away with their fingers laced. Kyle definitely seemed to have warmed up.

"Kenny, where did he go?" Cartman demanded furiously, Kyle had made him look like an idiot, and he would regret it, oh yes, he would really regret what he'd done....

"For the last time, I'm not bluffing when I say I don't know," Kenny responded smoothly, laughing at Cartman's anger.

"Do you know for twenty bucks, my poor orange-hooded pal?" Cartman asked as he pulled the bill out, dangling it innocently in front of Kenny's face. Kenny snatched it with a grin, Cartman knew just how Kenny worked.

"I guess it's bad that I'll do anything for money, but it's a strong convenience to you, isn't it? But if Kyle isn't up in his room I'd say he's out trying to learn to ski on one of the easy slopes," Cartman frowned slightly as Kenny spoke, he'd been hoping for a more specific answer.

Cartman took the stairs up to the floor so that he could ponder exactly what he wanted to do to Kyle, and he ran into his mom on the way. She was accompanied by two other men, but Cartman knew better than to ask who they were.

"Oh, Eric hon, we're going to have to call the vacation shor – not right now, David," she broke off giggling as one of the men started nibbling at her ear which made a grossed-out look show on Cartman's face, "–vacation short, you're Grandma just passed away, we need to go pay our respects."

"She died? But... that means no more presents!" Cartman replied in that whiny voice of his, "all right, I'll tell the others...." He grumbled quietly, distracted from his revenge on Kyle until he reached the right floor, obviously in an even worse mood than before.

As Cartman approached their door, he heard laughter from inside along with mumbling. Knowing it was Kyle plus Stan, he cursed quietly for them getting to be happy. As was custom for him, he just opened the door without thinking to knock, and for once he wished he had.

"FAGS!" Cartman yelled so loudly a few people walking down the hall turned to stare at him, but Cartman didn't notice, he was busy staring at his friends who were laying one on top of the other on a bed. Stan quickly scurried off of Kyle and stared nervously at Cartman, who after recovering from the shock seemed to have realized how to get his revenge.

"I – er – uh, it's not what you think?" Well, that was a dumb thing to say, even Cartman wasn't stupid enough to not know what had happened.

"Really? Because I could've sworn you two were just together kissing, or were you practicing really hard for girls?" at least they were fully-clothed, that seemed to be the only plus in either Stan or Kyle's mind as they looked at Cartman. There really was no way to get out of this....

"Cartman...." Stan couldn't seem to think of anything to say, but Cartman continued anyways.

"Glad I came in right away, would've have wanted to see anything else," he snickered, but knew they wouldn't retaliate... if they pissed him off, he could just tell everyone about them, which was the last thing they needed. Kyle's face did, however, turn the exact red shade of his hair. "But what I came in here to say is we have to go back early, pack up your crap." With a snicker, Cartman turned on his heel and left, leaving Stan and Kyle staring stunned after him.

"How could things be any worse?" Stan said softly to Kyle, who couldn't come up with a response.

"Kenny, if you knew something that could completely ruin two people's lives, how would you use it to your advantage?"

"What did you do to Stan and Kyle?" Kenny replied suspiciously, though he couldn't help but be curious what Cartman had as blackmail against them.

"I didn't do anything to them, but they did a lot of things to each other," Cartman replied silkily, watching Kenny who was trying to not look too interested. After a few minutes of silence, it was clear Cartman wasn't going to continue if Kenny didn't ask.

"You're evil, tell me what happened."

"They're as straight as a circle."

It took another couple of minutes for that to actually process in Kenny's mind, and when it did he started laughing, "I know you like making fun of all of us, but still, you know as well as I do that they're fond of girls."

"I'm serious, Kenny, I walked in on them!" Treading close to whining, Kenny laughed even harder. It was such a serious matter that he couldn't help but find it funny.

"Honestly, I think all of you are on drugs – share with your friends!"