Chapter Three: Guard Duty Sucks

Dear Diary,

Well, we're supposed to be looking for those two droids so I got stuck on guard duty in Mos Eisley. This place is a dump. The only nice thing is that there are lots of Jawas around to talk to, even if they are a little smelly.

Something really weird happened to my buddy, Bob, today. He was guarding the main drag into town and stopping all the speeders and transports that came in. You know, the usual. As he told me, this speeder came along carrying an old man, a young kid about eighteen or so, and two droids. He starts to question them, asking them for their ID, (standard protocol) when the old man looks at him intently and says, "You don't need to see his ID." Now the funny thing, my Bob says, is he knows that he needed to see the kid's ID but suddenly it just didn't seem important anymore. At the old man's suggestion, he told them to move along.

Well, we got off of guard duty right after that happened so and we decided to go into one of the local cantinas for a drink. That is, Bob wanted a drink. I've sworn off booze since it's what got me into this mess in the first place. The Empire has this stupid rule that when we're off-duty on a non-Empire occupied planet we still have to be in uniform so when two Storm Troopers go waltzing into the cantina everyone starts acting weird (personally I can't blame them...these uniforms are kind of imposing). I couldn't help but notice two dead bodies on the floor and, without us even asking, the bartender pointed to a corner booth. Bob spied the old man and the kid sitting in the corner with a guy in a vest and a Wookie. "Those are the dudes," he said. I didn't see anything special about them.

They sure seemed awfully nervous when we walked in because they beat a hasty retreat. The dead bodies didn't really bother me because, come on, this is Mos Eisley. You practically can't sneeze here without someone getting offended and blasting your butt off.

Anyway, after 8 hours of duty I really had to use the can, so as I headed for the 'fresher I flashed the guy in the vest and the Wookie a smile. Then I remembered that they couldn't see me under my helmet. Stupid helmet.

Well, my buddy had a couple of drinks and no sooner had we stepped outside the cantina and were making our way to the next transport back to the ship, when we suddenly got the order to head for Docking Bay 94. Apparently the droids we were looking for were trying to hightail it off the planet.

"Lesh go!" drawled Bob. Apparently he'd had one too many.

"You're in no condition to be on duty," I said. "You're piss drunk."

"Noimnot," he slurred. "Imafine. Nowcomeon."

There was no use arguing with him in that state so we followed the rest of the troops to the docking bay. As we entered the launch pad I could see a round, disk-shaped space ship that looked as if it had been quilted together by my grandma was just taking off. What a piece of crap! My cohorts were shooting blindly at it, even Bob. Amazing. He shoots better drunk then he does when he's sober!

However, hardly any hits were sustained and the ship escaped. We were ordered back to the Star Destroyer and we've been given orders to rendezvous with the Death Star. I guess I'll get to see first hand what this supposedly new Weapon of Ultimate Death is supposed to look like.