Chapter Five: Breaking the TIEs That Bind

Dear Diary:

En route to Yavin IV to attack a Rebel Base that's hidden on one of the moons. We should be there in a couple of hours. I can only guess that the Empire must have put a homing beacon on the Princess' rescue ship. That probably explains why they got away so easily.

This will be my only chance to reach the Rebels. Of course...the Death Star is probably going to blow the base to bits unless the Rebels figure out a way to destroy it first. There's always the slim possibility that they'll get a torpedo down the thermal exhaust port. It leads right to the reactor and would blow this thing into the next dimension. Even if the Rebels do lose, I'd rather live out the rest of my life abandoned on Yavin then spend another day as an Empirical groundling.

My plan is to get myself into a TIE fighter and land it on the surface near enough to the base (hopefully I won't get blown out of the sky by either the Empire or the Rebels) while the battle is going on. I heard something interesting at lunch today that gave me an idea. In the Mess I sat near enough to the pilots' table to hear anything that might be useful. For a long time it was the usual: boasting about battles, who scored with what girl, and how stupid the Storm Troopers are (I had to agree with them on that one). Finally, the conversation shifted subjects.

"Where's Frampton?" asked one of the pilots. I could only guess Frampton was their buddy.

"He got pretty sick this morning after breakfast and is going to be in the infirmary

for a while. I'll bet it was the pickled Nerf's feet that did it. Poor bastard's always been fond of that weird stuff."

That was just what I was looking for. Since all the pilots were still eating, I high-tailed it out of there and snuck into their locker room. It didn't take me long to locate Frampton's locker and break into it, thanking the gods for learning that trick back in secondary school when the jocks used to shut me up in my own locker. It's happened so many times that eventually I learned how to break myself out. This is the first time I ever broke in to one, though.

I grabbed Frampton's flight gear and hid it in my own quarters. Then, I got my own civilian clothes and other personal effects and located Frampton's TIE fighter in the hangar bay. If everything goes right, I can fly out with the rest of the squadron and right on down to the Moon's surface...if everything goes right. I haven't flown in a while and I've never piloted a TIE fighter.

This is the scariest thing I've ever done. So...I'm going to say good-bye right now in case I die. Good-bye, Diary. Thanks for listening to my complaints. I wish I could say good-bye to Dr. Sinclair and apologize for all the times I didn't listen in class and tried to look up her skirt. Ok...maybe I'm not so sorry for trying to look up her skirt. Can you blame me, though? SHE'S HOT!!!!

Commanding Officer's Log, Hangar Bay 4:

All pilots launched successfully in defense against Rebel fighters, including Frampton. Had received report that he was in the infirmary with a case of food poisoning from rancid Nerf feet. Yuck. Seems to have been cured, though. Amazing what those medical droids can do. They find more uses for Bacta every year.