Cordelia's Room

A/N: Written on a whim ) A little bit affected by the surreal writing of my friend, but it was fun! I just hope it's as weird on paper as it is in my head.

OMG! It's my birthday! I'm fifteen!

Disclaimer: I own only a string of Japanese lantern fairy lights, which are multi coloured and glow quite nicely.

Summery: Xander looks around Cordelia's room while he waits for his date.


This was Queen C's throne room, the evil HQ, the lair of the bitch. Xander Harris looked around at his unexpected treasure, judging every book in the room by its cover and making as many superficial assessments as he could. She had a mirror, she was vain, she had a Ricky Martin poster, she was a fan girl, she had... black lacy panties in the washing basket! He quickly drew his eyes away from those, but made a mental note to ask about them later.

The last time he had been in Cordelia's room Xander had hardly had time to pause and take in the scenery. His heart had been thumping too fast for him to concentrate on anything but the mission. It was her 10th birthday party and Cordelia had once again invited every kid in the grade but Alexander Harris and Willow Rosenberg. The two outcasts in question had decided to get revenge once and for all. So, while all the other children were in the front yard getting pony rides, Xander and Willow had climbed up the lattice to Cordelia's room where the pile of presents had been stored to open later. The window next to the bed looked out over the back yard, with a perfect view of the pool, and out that fateful window the presents had flown, straight into the chlorinated water as the outcasts enacted their revenge.

This visit had not been through the window. He had come through the door, graciously ushered in by Cordelia's mother, who had smiled at him and said how nice it was to finally meet the famous Xander Harris. He wondered if she would have been so kind to him knowing "the famous Xander Harris" had been the scourge to ruin her princess' 10th birthday, but that confession was one he was taking to the grave. Cordelia's mother had taken the visitor up to her daughter's room, where he had found his queen still putting on her make-up in her bathroom. Thus instructed to wait on the bed, Xander amused himself by looking around the room.

The walls were vaguely pink, a remnant from Cordelia's princess days, but there were so many posters and decorations on the walls he could hardly tell. She had little Japanese lantern fairy lights strung from her door to the top of a large walk in wardrobe. Long flowing white curtains took up most of the left wall with a desk covered with books and scraps of paper in between the windows. There was a poster for Oz's band on the wardrobe door amongst a host of awards and certificates. The adornments were mostly posters of actors and musicians, some of whom were far to teen-dream for Xander and there-fore perfect for Cordelia. A scattering of pretty boy celebrities were among the posters, causing Xander a moment of self consciousness and worry, but comfortingly, there where three pictures of him. One beside the mirror, cut into a heart shape and stuck in between the mirror's other decorations, one on her desk in a silver frame, and his favourite picture of the two of them smooching at the beach, in pride of place on the bedside table.

Satisfied with his presence in the room, Xander decided to take a look around. The desk was cluttered with school work. He jealously regarded the B- on her history paper. He only got a C. He pondered reading it to see if it really was a B- paper, but that would involve effort and concentration, better to stay bitter about it. Below there were several other assignments with surprising and uncharacteristic good grades. Either Cordelia was getting help from Willow, or she'd put all her teachers under a spell, because it was physically impossible for the queen of "Huh?" to be smart. She didn't have many books, apart from a psychology text book from the school library. Briefly he wondered if this was the secret to all her poignant bitchy remarks, but it was confusing and wrong to entertain the idea of Cordelia thinking beyond how to breathe and bitch, so Xander decided the book must be part of an elaborate plan to attract boys.

He had never thought it was possible to have a whole draw for hairbrushes, but Cordelia's dressing table taught him otherwise. There was also a separate draw for all sorts of nail things, from scissors to polish, and two draws for makeup. On the dresser top sat several pretty boxes containing a host of rings, necklaces and bangles, and about 50 bottles of perfume. He looked through the two draws of make up, wondering what the assembly of products were for. The jars of powders and brushes confused him no end, and all the cremes smelt bad and had strange names. That was girls for you. Looking through the boxes and bowls of jewellery, he was disappointed to find a particular necklace lacking. The silver heart, which Xander had given Cordelia for Valentines Day, wasn't there. He had originally taken it back after their brief, popularity driven break-up, to use in a spell. After the calamitous events that followed had been set right and he and Cordelia had started going out again, this time publicly, Xander had given it back as a "Congratulations for finally shunning your popular sheep friends" present. He was a little upset to find it missing, but it was probably buried under all the other jewellery, or in a box somewhere. He sposed it was a little trashy and cheap, no wonder she didn't have it.

Moving on from the dresser he looked at the bookcase. The top two shelves were mostly taken up by trophies. "Puff Pastry Queen"; "Most Likely to Stay Beautiful without Much Surgery"; "Least off the Rack Outfits". Cordelia sure did win some strange awards. There was also an award for coming first in the "Little Miss Talented; Singing Contest." The judges must have been deaf and bribed to give Cordelia that. Still, looking at her achievements, strange and inappropriate as they were, Xander felt a little proud. His Cordy won awards.

The lower shelves of the book case contained (duh) books, most of which looked like they were of the pre-kindergarten variety, but it was the middle shelf to which Xander gave his attention. It was a shelf full of photos. Lots were of Cordelia at various ages; smiling, blowing kisses to the camera, striking model poses or showing off some sparkling outfit. There were some relative photos, the subjects obviously connected by blood as they all possessed the same patented Chase "winning smile" and "cold glare". To Xander's surprise and pleasure, there where several more pictures of him in the collection on the bookcase. There were also pictures of the gang, Willow, Oz, Buffy and even one Giles. In all the photos Cordy looked happy; smiling with Buffy, eating ice-cream with Will. For all the world they looked like best friends. There was one photo, all the way at the back, of Cordelia's old friends; Harmony and the rest of the Cordettes. They looked happy in a way, but mostly they looked proud and hazardously photogenic. Xander didn't really like any of their expressions, though perhaps he was imagining the malicious smiles and evil glares because of his bias against the popular girls. Turning back to the photos of him, Xander discovered a particularly nice photo of the Scooby Gang under the lights of the Sunnydale cinema, all genuinely smiling and laughing. Xander pulled it slightly to the front of the shelf.

A box on the bedside table caught his eye, and he wandered back, flopping down on the dark purple bed. It was a little box, stained brown wood with a curvy pattern carved around the edges. Cordelia's name was written on the top in a lighter wood, decorated with an imitation frangipani blossom for the dot of the 'i'. Without a thought for her privacy, he opened the box and looked at the contents. It wasn't what he was expecting, though what he expected Cordelia to keep in a precious little box he didn't know. It was full of things that meant nothing to him. A movie stub from "Beauty and the Beast", a soft brown and grey bird's feather, a broken wooden giraffe toy and a small collection of grey pebbles. A keep sakes box, full of little treasures. Xander put it down carefully.

And then Cordelia was ready.

"Ok," She said, smacking her lips as she walked out the bathroom. "I'm ready."

Xander hopped off the bed, "Took you long enough." He said, picking up her cardigan and hand bag from the chair.

"Did you go through my stuff?" She asked accusingly.

"Only a little." He said, "Enough to know you have black lacy panties."

"Which you'll never see." Cordelia replied.

Acting the gentleman, Xander draped her cardigan around her shoulders, pausing as his fingers brushed along her neck. She was wearing a necklace. The silver heart he had given her. "You have my heart." He said surprised, "I mean the necklace I gave you. You've still got it."

Cordelia gave him a puzzled look, "Duh, I almost never take it off."

They left, shutting the door behind them.