Author's Note: K8t...Evelyn is fine! She'll be back, JUST NOT YET! Patience, my faithful reader.

Chapter 15: Spray paint and Promotions

Dear Diary,

Bored. Bored bored bored. Bored as hell. There is absolutely NOTHING to do but stare out the window and watch them work on the Death Star (it is bigger than the first and a lot meaner looking, even though it's only half done) and march and march and march. Then have lunch. Then march some more. Then eat dinner and then listen to the rest of the 'troopers tell interesting, though often twisted and disgusting, stories about what they did at The Red Windmill (I had no idea that Twi'lek females could do that with their lekku...Major Quentin sure does get around!).

It's been like this for days. No one has done anything to relieve the tedium, even after someone spray-painted, "Palpatine and Vader wear pink lacy panties" on the wall of the starboard men's latrine. Vader is personally hunting for the culprit.

It's a good thing that I managed to convince the Dia Nogu that bright red spray paint makes a lovely appetizer! Just in case, I've decided to look for a transfer. The idea of having my esophagus crushed by the Dark Lord isn't particularly appealing.

Dear Diary,

I got a transfer! The elite Scout Troopers had an opening, but it's really hard to get into their ranks. You have to participate in three races in three days, one each day. The overall winner gets the coveted promotion. I decided to go for it. Granted, I'd never actually ridden a speeder bike but I figured that if I could pilot the University fighters and the snow speeders then it would be easy.

We raced down on the forest moon's surface and let me tell you...it was scary. The trees on Endor are HUGE and since I'd never handled the bikes before I wasn't too sure of what I was doing. The first race I won, though I really shouldn't have. I was actually losing until my opponent crashed into a tree and his speeder exploded. I finished the race and was pronounced the winner, which I protested. "But my opponent was killed!" I said, horrified.

"Yes, death is grounds for immediate disqualification," replied the Scout Trooper judge. "You win."

"But..."

"You WIN, Sergeant Dyson," the judge reiterated as he fingered the blaster hanging on his hip. "Any questions?"

Hey, who I was to argue? "No, sir."

"Good. See you tomorrow."

The next day's race went pretty well, considering that I'd only ridden that speeder bike once before. After a couple of minutes, though, I relaxed and laid on the speed. The thing practically flew itself and it was almost like an extension of my being. I used to get that feeling in my snow speeder and it's really weird. I crossed the finish line well ahead of my opponent.

The third race was almost as uneventful, except a damn Ewok decided to swing across on a vine RIGHT in front of my bike. I tried to dodge but he landed behind me and proceeded to cackle gleefully, "YUB YUB!!!!"

"Get off!" I hollered at my unexpected passenger. The extra weight was going to slow me down. I also knew that if I crossed the finish line with an Ewok on the back of my speeder, two things would happen. First, I'd never hear the end of it. Second, the little guy would be killed on the spot. The Imperials really don't like the Endorian natives, no matter how cute and fuzzy they are (much cuter than Jawas). I tried yelling at him some more, but he just giggled so I gripped the bike tightly and executed a quick roll above some soft bushes. With a high pitched yell the little beast fell off and the last thing I heard from him can only be assumed to be the Ewok version of cursing.

Despite my furry hitchhiker I relaxed and let the speeder do the work, just guiding it by intuition. I crossed the finish line first by only a few meters and won the coveted promotion. HA! Stick that in your pink panties, Vader!

Dear Diary,

Being a Scout Trooper is just as boring, believe it or not. I've been assigned to guard the rear entrance bunker to the Shield Generator. Granted, my uniform is a lot different and I get to stare at trees instead of cold Super Star Destroyer walls, but that's about the only benefits. Oh yeah, and I get to ride the speeder bike and yell at Ewoks. Whoopee.

I wonder if Reekin managed to get the information to the Rebellion or not? It's been well over a month since I passed it to him on Embree. I hope it got through; otherwise the galaxy is going to be a much more dangerous place once they're done constructing the Death Star.

Wonder if I could spray-paint something derogatory about Vader on the bunker walls? On second thought, forget it. It's too easy to trace it back to me this time and there's no Dia Nogu down here to feed the evidence to.