A/N – "Thoughts"

Chapter 6 – Hitting The Wall

Miranda laid on her back and stared up at the ceiling. She wasn't exactly sure what time it was but knew it was early morning. Next to her, she could hear Gordo's rhythmic breathing as he slept.

She was tired but she couldn't sleep. Now that she was eight and half months pregnant, she was under her doctor's orders to take it easy. Lizzie had kicked her out of the store, telling her to rest and forget about work.

She was restless; all this taking it easy, was driving her nuts. She had practically cleaned the entire house before Gordo stopped her, telling her to rest. "The next person who tells me to rest is going to die," she snarled to herself.

Giving up on trying to sleep, Miranda slowly sat up and tried to get out of bed. "Damned beach whale," she muttered under her breath as she finally struggled to her feet.

After carefully navigating the stairs, Miranda walked into the kitchen. Opening the freezer, she rummaged through it for a moment. She quickly found the gallon of chocolate ice cream that she was craving. As usual, the baby was awake and hungry.

Putting the ice cream on the counter, with one hand she popped the lid and with the other, fished out a spoon from a drawer. Scooping up a huge spoonful, she put it in her mouth and instantly felt the sugar rush, plus an ice cream headache.

Walking towards the kitchen table, she continued to eat the ice cream. Passing one of the glass doors that lead outside, she caught her reflection in the glass and paused for a moment.

Starring at it for a moment, she started to get upset. "I'm huge," she said to herself. Looking at her reflection again and seeing the spoon hanging from her mouth, she stabbed it hard into the ice cream and threw the container onto the counter across the kitchen. "I am so sick of this!" she yelled out loud. "I'm not ready to be a mother! I can barely take care of myself."

Roughly pulling out on of the table chairs, she plopped down on it. Folding her arms in front of her, Miranda put her head down and just stared crying. "I can't take it anymore. I feel like a beached whale. I can't sleep, these damn cravings are driving me insane and giving me an upset stomach."

She wasn't sure how long she had been there, but suddenly she felt a hand gently stroke her hair.

"Rand?" Gordo asked softly, with a little concern. He had heard noises from downstairs and rolled over in bed to find no one there. Then hearing Miranda yell, he practically jumped out of bed and made his way downstairs. He found her with her head down on the table crying. He knew the pregnancy was wearing on her and making it difficult for her to get any kind of regular sleep. He quickly grabbed a mug and filling it with water, nuked it. When it was ready, he tipped a tea bag into at and brought it over to the table for her. Gordo hoped the tea would help her relax and maybe lull her to sleep.

Miranda slowly picked up her head and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She was surprised to find the tea in front of her. A sad smile tugged her lips as she took the cup. "What did I do to deserve him?"

Gordo pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. As she took a sip of the tea, Gordo studied her. "What's wrong?" he asked as he reached and gently massaged the back of her neck.

"Nothing," Miranda lied.

Sighing, he shook his head. "Come on Rand. I know you. You were there when I was scarred. Let me in."

She didn't say anything, just finished her tea. Gordo shook his head, knowing she was being stubborn. "Damn it Miranda, I know something is bothering you."

Miranda just let out a tired sigh; standing up, she walked over to the sink and put the cup in the basin. Gordo got up and followed her. Standing behind her, "Fine, if you're not gonna talk then at least come back to bed and relax…"

Before he could continue, Miranda had spun around fast and slugged him in the mouth.

As Gordo staggered back a few steps, Miranda's eyes went wide as she realized what she just did.

Slowly walking up to him on the verge of tears, she gently reaching out and touched the corner of his mouth where she had hit him. "I'm so sorry David. I…I," she couldn't continue as the tears just started flowing. Gordo immediately wrapped her in a tight bear hug.

After a few minutes, Miranda stopped and rested her head against him. "Rand?" Gordo whispered to her.

"I can't do this. I'm not ready to be a mom," she wined softly against his shoulder.

"It's a little late," Gordo said sarcastically, trying to lightened the mood a little. Miranda looked up at him with a mix of sadness and irritation. He cringed a little when he saw the pain and sadness in her eyes, "Sorry."

Gordo lead them into the living room and onto the couch. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna be a horrible mother," she said as she sat down next to him.

Arching an eyebrow, "Why do you say that?" he asked her.

"You saw how I was with Nick and Sasha," Miranda wined as she rested her forehead in her palms. The day they had babysat the twins kept replaying in her head like a nightmare.

"You were fine," Gordo said trying to reassure her.

"No I wasn't," Miranda yelled in frustration. "You were fine. I couldn't get them to behave all morning and you spend five minutes with them and they're like perfect angles."

Gordo tried not to laugh at her. "Come on Rand. Sasha adores me and you just gotta keep Nick active. We're gonna have a completely different relationship with our baby."

"How do you know?" Miranda asked as she wiped her eyes.

"This is me we're talking about," Gordo said sarcastically and got a tired laugh from Miranda. Smiling he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Seriously, its gonna be different cause its gonna be our baby. You're not gonna be Aunt Miranda, you're gonna be Mommy."

Gordo watched a small smile tug at her lips. "You feelin better?" he asked as he softly ran his fingers through her hair and down her cheek. Taking in a deep ragged breath, Miranda let it out slowly and nodded.

Helping her up to her feet, they walked into the kitchen and cleaned it up a little. Finishing, Gordo looked at her for a moment and smiled. He knew Miranda's greatest fault was her self-image. No matter how many times Gordo told her she looked beautiful, she always had trouble really believing him.

Gordo wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned his forehead against her's. "Wanna know something else?"

"What?" she asked him, feeling a little better.

"Even being eight and half months pregnant, you're still the most beautiful woman in the world."

Miranda smirked at him, knowing he was full of it, but still appreciated the compliment. Taking his hand, "Thanks Gordo," she said before kissing him.

"You did the same thing for me. Just remember, we're in this together," he told her as they walked back upstairs. "But please, stop hitting me." he added jokingly.

Miranda snickered and kissed his lip, "Deal."

As they laid back down on the bed, Miranda could feel exhaustion catch up to her. The last thing she remembered was Gordo pulling the covers up over them and then him gently kissing her cheek before everything went black and she fell into a restless sleep.