A/N: This was spur of the moment idea. Don't ask me why it came to me. Oh and if any of you have read my story "There's a Fine Line Between Love and Hate" and you have any ideas about what should happen next PLEASE tell me! I have serious writers block! Oh and this is a one-shot. It has dark themes and has to do with suicide, if this offends you then press the back button, that's what it's there for.
Here I was, my secret haven. Where I came at least once a week, where I came to nearly off myself, nearly. I was too cowardly, too pathetic to actually follow through with it. I was a sorry excuse for a human and I didn't deserve to live. I deserved to just die, to disappear from the world. I was tired of it all, everything, of the stupid death eaters, stupid Voldemort, my stupid façade, everything. Of course Ron and Hermione didn't know about my obsession, my pleading for pain. It would scare them, and then they would try to get me to stop. But I can't stop. It's too addicting, I need the pain, and it makes me feel alive, like I'm really here. I always hide the scars and marks so as know one knows, no one needs to know, no one cares. They just want me here to be the savior of the fucking world. Oh well, too bad for them. I'm really doing it this time. I lift the blade to my now pallid skin. I haven't been eating lately. I've lost so much weight, I'm pale, I have dark bags under my eyes, I've lost my Quidditch build. I gently lower the blade to my wrist aiming directly above my protruding vein. I slowly drag the silver blade across, not pressing hard enough to actually break skin, just testing. I look over to the letter that I'm leaving so that they at least have a reason as of why I'm doing this, not that they care. Ok here I go. I drag the blade across, this time hard enough to cause a thin slice of crimson across my wrist. I dig deeper. The pain is mind blowing, but strangely it feels good. I proceed to do the other wrist as my vision becomes faint and blurry and I start to see black spots intrude my sight. Me head begins to throb and my hands start to shake, there's an annoying buzzing in my ears. It's so amazing. My ruby blood begins to pool around my wrists on the hard, cold stone floor.
"Bloody hell Potter!"
I turn towards the door to see Malfoy standing in the doorway, a look of pure terror played across his face.
"Go away Malfoy, this is what you wanted, isn't it?" He's given me nothing but hell for the past seven years, I would think that he would be happy to see me lying here on the floor of the astronomy tower, helpless. He took a step towards me. "Really Malfoy I would wipe that look off your face if I was you, it's not very flattering. Now go away."
"What? And me be blamed for this? No way!"
"You can just leave, no one will ever know"
"Yes because Pansy and Blaise know I'm up here, you just have to off yourself the one time that I'm up here!"
"Well I guess that's too bad for you." He takes a step towards me but it's too late. I start to slip away, in and out of conscience. There's nothing, darkness, black.
"Potter?" He takes a step towards Harry's pale lifeless body. He notes the letter by his feet and picks it up.
Hey everybodyNot that anybody cares, but I've finally done it. I've killed myself. I couldn't take it anymore, I hated my life, I didn't deserve to live, I was tired of keeping up with Voldemort and his cronies, he was always one step ahead of me, and then when Sirius was gone my whole world crumbled from beneath me, I was empty, I didn't want to live anymore.
Hermione: Hey, I'm so sorry I had to take the coward's way out. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I know you tried to be there for me but it just wasn't enough, I don't blame you for any of it though. You were always like a sister to me and I'll always love you.
Ron: You were always like a brother to me. You would always help when I needed it; you were always there for me. I'm sorry I had to always take the spotlight from you. You had enough of that from your siblings, I really didn't mean it. I didn't want all that attention. I love you Ron.
Weasley family: You guys took me as one of your own and I am forever grateful. You treated me like family and always loved me. I will never forget you, I love you all.
Sirius: I know you can't read this right now but you were like a dad to me. Whenever I was in trouble you were always there for me. I'm so sorry; it's my fault that you're not on earth right now. If I wasn't so stupid and didn't have this stupid hero complex you would still be living, it's my entire fault. I love you Sirius.
Remus: Hey Remus, you helped me after Sirius' death. You were always there for me. Please forgive me for doing this. I love you Remus.
Draco Malfoy: Hey Draco. I know you hate me and I'm sorry for whatever I did. I never really got to know you and I'm sorry for it. I think it would have been really great if we could have been friends or maybe even more. I'm sorry for making your life hell Draco. I love you, and not in that 'brotherly' type of love. I mean that kind of 'I wanna grow old with you' love. I know you don't feel the same but that is how I feel about you. You were what kept me sane during the day. I'll miss you. You were the one of the main reasons I did this. Because I sat by you everyday and knew I couldn't have you. Please don't feel guilty. I love you.
The letter fell from Draco's hand and fluttered to the ground, tearstains splattered the ink.
"But Harry, I love you too"
~*~*~*~*~Fin~*~*~*~*~
So what did you think? Please review!
