Chapter Twelve: Naked Victory

[I think your heart is where your love is

All the rest, baby, the rest

Is all in your head.

Memories, they're overrated

All they do is get you down and frustrated

And who needs that on their back?

Starting over, cold turkey

Washing your soul of everthing that's dirty.

Sealed your heart of every crack]

-Cross Canadian Ragweed feat. Lee Ann Womack 'Sick and Tired'

"I need to speak with you." Jeremie looked past the other occupants of the room and straight at the princess. "Alone."

Ulrich shot him a glare cold enough to make hell freeze over, but brushed past him and left the room with Odd trailing behind him. Aelita and Naomi murmered excuses about having to prepare another bed in the adjacent servant's quarters for Naomi and beat a hasty retreat.

"What happened to make you change your mind?" It was spoken slowly, as though Yumi was now unstable and could be set off by the slightest comment on Jeremie's part. He was obviously unnerved by her sudden personality change.

Yumi blinked at him as though confused by his words. "I realized my place in the world," she clarified simply. "I have been chosen to be your wife."

"That fact didn't bother you before."

"Look, why does it matter so much to you anyway," Yumi snapped. "You're the one who said that we had to marry to preserve our family's honor, remember? It seems I'm not the only one who's had a change of heart."

Jeremie flushed with anger. "How dare you accuse me of dishonoring my family!"

"I didn't say you've dishonored them, I said you seemed to have changed your mind about the matter of our betrothal."

Jeremie moved over and sunk down onto the couch, burying his face in his hands. "What are we going to do then?"

Odd gaped at Ulrich.

"Shut your mouth, you look like a fish," Ulrich told him smartly.

"She wants to marry him now? Is she bonkers?"

Ulrich glanced at the doors. "Quite possibly. But at least you're up to speed now."

"The question is, what are we going to do about it?" Ulrich blinked at him.

"We can't do anything."

Odd laughed. "So you intend to roll over and admit defeat?"

"How can I admit defeat to a war I never fought?"

More laughter. "Oh, but you are fighting a war my friend. And the winner gets the Princess."

"You're nuts."

"Fine. I guess I'll just have to stop her from wedding Jeremie myself." Odd gave an overly dramatic sigh. "But how do I go about doing that?"

"Keep your crazy plots to yourself."

"Embarassment is one way to split people up." Ulrich saw the mischif in his fellow guard's eyes.

"What are you planning?"

Odd grinned. "Ah-ah-ah!" He wagged a scolding finger in Ulrich's face. "I thought I was keeping my crazy plots to myself. Can't tell you now, can I?"

Right on cue, Jeremie emerged from the room with Yumi at his heels. Both looked frustrated, and they seemed to be in the middle of a shouting match.

"You are impossible," Jeremie wheeled around and attempting to stare Yumi down. She stared back just as hotly.

"Same to you!" The princess failed to notice Odd slide behind her. He was studying the back of her dress with careful precision, noting how it simply laced up and ended in a bow.

With a impish grin usually only sported by misbehaving children, Odd pulled on the ribbon and the bow came loose. The servant's dress that she had not yet had the time to change out of fell to Yumi's feet in a crumpled heap, leaving her standing in nothing except the bloomers that were worn under it.

The princess gave a shreak of shock and rage, bolting back into her chambers and slamming the doors.

The guards and the prince stared numbly at the spot where Yumi had stood. "What did you do, Odd?" The question came from Ulrich, spoken in a low, threatening voice.

Odd gulped.

Jeremie excused himself, taking off down the hall at a near-run, trying to escape the situation with all haste. This left Odd and Ulrich alone in the corridor.

"What did you do, Odd," Ulrich repeated, seeming, in Odd's eyes at least, to grow larger in his fury.

"Heh heh. That was my plan. You see, now they won't even be able to be around each other without being really uncomfortable. That's what happens when someone get embarrassed like that," he finished weakly without looking Ulrich in the eye.

Ulrich opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when the chamber doors swung open and a fully clothed Yumi stepped out in all her rage. Odd shrank back against the opposite wall as though that small amount of distance between himself and the princess would save him.

"Odd!" Yumi was nearly shouting, shaking with anger. "What did you do?!"

Odd laughed meekly, a nervous response. "Well....."

"You might want to answer her," Ulrich advised. "How's that saying go? Hell hath no fury..." He trailed off into a grin. Odd gulped again.

"You can't marry Jeremie," he choked out.

"So to keep me from gettingmarried to Jeremie you pulled down my dress," Yumi concluded, sounding amused at his logic, twisted as it was. "I admire your creativity, but this is my descision, not yours, or Ulrich's, or Aelita's or Naomi's." Yumi turned and went back into the chamber, shutting the doors behind her.

"You just got off really lucky," Ulrich told Odd. Odd nodded.