Disclaimer: Come on....are you really that thick? You should know this by now.

A/N: Ok this story is getting so hard to write! It's so hard to come up with what happens next! And I'm also trying to work on the length problem by making the chapters longer. I'm really trying! I am!

//Why am I denying this? I really do want to be his friend. Why don't I just tell him?...because you're afraid of getting hurt again\\ said a voice in the back of her head. //No I'm not, he never hurt me...yes he did...NO! \\ Her thought were interrupted 'cause someone was calling her name from behind her.

"Lily! Wait up!" She turned around. It was him. She continued walking but he caught up with her. He grabbed her on the shoulder gently and turned her around. "Lily come on. Just one second."

"Leave me alone James" //Crap! I called him by his first name!...I hope he didn't notice\\

"Lily come on please, just talk with me, I swear if you just talk to me for a few minutes, after that I'll leave you alone. I promise"

"Fine" she said bitterly. He started to walk with her.

"Lily what happened between us?"

"A lot of stuff"

"I know that, but Lily what I mean is what happened to *us*? Why aren't we friends anymore?"

"That fight"

"I know it was the fight, but Lily we were 13 for god's sake! What can you expect we were children and immature" She scoffed.

"And like you aren't now."

"Ok I know were still immature but were better now! I would never do that to you ever again!" Lily felt on the verge of tears.

"James do you know how much that hurt!" She rounded on him so they were about a foot apart facing each other. "James I thought you were my best friend then! And then when you humiliated me like that! In front of the entire school!" a single tear slid down her cheek. "James it felt like my world was being ripped apart!" She was crying freely now. She started pounding him on the chest and just broke into sobs. He took the abuse and let her finish what she was saying. "James I just felt like dying!"

~*~*~Flashback~*~*~

Lily was sitting at the Gryfindor table eating dinner by herself. They guys said they had something to do. All of a sudden there was a booming voice all across the hall. Everyone was silent so they could hear.

"Ladies and Gentleman! The Marauders have a special treat for you tonight!" No one was sure where the voice was coming from. The voice continued.

"One of our own has performed a very bad deed! It seems Lily Evans and a certain boy named Kevin Burbank have been having some nightly meetings the *Astronomy tower*!" Lily was blushing furiously. "Let's show you what we mean." A huge screen appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the hall. A movie started playing. It was sort of dark so it was hard to see what was going on but you could hear clearly what they were saying.

"Ooooh! Kevin!...this feels so good!"

"Mmhmh....I know, shhh" Lily didn't stay long enough to see what they had in store next. She burst into tears and stormed from the room....

~*~*~End Flashback~*~*~

Lily burst into tears and knees gave way. She collapsed but James was quick enough with his seeker reflexes to catch her. He pulled her into a hug but she kept beating his chest and crying.

"Lily I'm so sorry! I swear if I could take it back I would!" James now sounded like he was going cry. "Lily please forgive me!" he was rocking her back and forth as a tear escaped his eyes and slid down his cheek and unto his lip. He whispered into her ear: "Lily I love you, I would never hurt you again" This abruptly stopped her tear fest and she started to back away from him, a look of pure terror on her face, her eyes still red and puffy.

"W-what d-did you say?" she stuttered. James quickly realized his mistake.

"Um just forget what I just said. I was just caught up in the moment," said James trying to cover up. What Lily said next was barely audible.

"D-did you s-say that you *love* me?" she was still stuttering out of shock. He couldn't manage to say anything so he just nodded; there was no denying it now. His secret was out. This was too much to handle all at once. She turned and started to run back towards the castle. James kept yelling for her to come back but she just ignored him...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

//He said he *loves* me. How could he love *me*? I don't deserve that. OMG! He said he loves me! What do I do? What do I do? What do I do!?! I have to get away. I don't want to get hurt again\\ suddenly a light turned on in her head. //THAT'S IT!! Why didn't I see it before? It's so simple! \\ She hurried towards her room to get the things needed to do what she was about to do. She was soon in the middle of the floor of the abandoned girl's bathroom on the 2nd floor. She had the knife in her hand and was a few seconds away from slitting her own wrists...

Meanwhile...

"Omg I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid!" he rushed into the Three Broomsticks where his friends and their new girlfriends were still talking.

"Guys we have to find her! I've been so stupid, we HAVE to find her!"

"Prongs, what ARE you mumbling about!?!?!" said Remus

"LILY! We have to find her! I've been so stupid! Were wasting time! I told her I loved her and she ran away like I was mad man or something! What if she goes and does something stupid. I know how afraid she is of getting hurt again! WHY DID I SAY THAT? Emma and Melissa both exchanged glances.

"Come on guys, he's right, we better go." They all came out of the building and ran for Hogwarts as fast as they could...

Meanwhile...

The knife was a few inches away from her pale porcelain looking skin. She slowly lowered the knife and sliced her wrist. The scarlet blood trickled down. The pain was mind-blowing. But she didn't care. This is exactly what she wanted, to get away from her troubles. She started to get light-headed but didn't care. She switched the blade to the other hand and proceeded to slit her other wrist. The blood started to ooze down that wrist as well. She held them up to eye level and just stared. This pain was scary but wonderful at the same time. Her vision started to become blurry. This was taking away all her troubles, all her pain from the past, but mostly it was taking her away from James. She slowly slipped into black nothing...

Meanwhile...

"Oh where is she!" screamed Emma.

"LILY! LILY WHERE ARE YOU!" bellowed Melissa.

"You know, maybe we should split up," said Remus logically.

"Yeah you know I reckon he's right," said Sirius.

"Alright yeah. Sirius, you take first floor, I'll take second, Remus the third floor, Melissa the fourth floor, and James you take the fifth. Let's go" they all split and went their own directions. Pretty soon they all seemed to be getting pretty desperate. There was no trace of her anywhere. That was until Emma thought of looking into the old abandoned bathroom. She slowly opened the door hoping to dear god that she was in her. What she saw nearly made her faint of shock. There was Lily, a small pool of her own blood around each hand. She saw a bloody knife nearby and quickly put one and one together.

"Oh my god Lily, what have you done?" she whispered. She went over to the limp body and picked her up easily because of her light body frame and quickly rushed her to the infirmary. She hurriedly told Madam Pomfrey what happened and went to the find the others. She needed to find them quick and used a charm she picked up from her parents that made your wand and any other wands of your choice sort of like a walkie-talkie.

"Talkingarduim, Remus, Melissa, Sirius, and James." She waited for the beep and proceeded to talk. "Hey guys, I found her. Hurry up and get to the infirmary. She isn't looking too good." She ended the spell and went over to Lily's bed. The others were there within minutes. They quickly spotted Lily's fiery red hair and went over to where Emma was sitting.

"Of dear god. What did she do!" whispered Melissa.

"She slit her wrists." That's when they all noticed the blood stained bandages around her wrists. The color drained from James' face.

A/N: I know, I know! It's short but it's kinda longer then the other chapters! Isn't it? Well I'm trying my best. Anyways big shocker eh?!?! Yeah just thought I should put in a bit of excitement. Please R/R!