I'm With You
"Yukina...how did it happen? I need to know."
He asks me this with that firm deep voice. I'm not sure I can tell him. I worry about what he might do. But then I can't keep it in forever. After all, it's more fitting for him to be the first to know how this happened and I would be the first to tell him. As it should be. I should be first to let him know how Kazuma Kuwabara broke my heart.
I'm standin' on a bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now...
I stand on one of the bridges crossing the busy night highway. Kazuma- kun had taken me out to another movie that I enjoyed with those wonderful machines. Now I stand out on the bridge waiting for Kazuma-kun to come back with that cold stuff. It reminds me of snow except it's really sweat and creamy. I call it sweet snow. I don't like the name ice cream. He's taking so long though...he should have come out by now. I look down at the busy street from so high up. It makes me a little dizzy but I don't mind it. I like seeing the cars pass. I look up to see this bridge has a view of Tokyo Tower. It's breath taking at night. I sigh to myself. Why is he taking so long?
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound...
The rain starts to pour on me. I don't feel the cold but I'm expecting to hear him running up to me and wrapping his arms around me along with his coat. I love when he holds me. But as I wait I don't hear anything. No foot steps on the pavement...no sound of his voice. I suddenly begin to feel this pain in my stomach. Like I should be worried about something. That's when I look up towards the mini-sweet snow shop. And what I see just hurts so badly.
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't someone come and take me home?
There, Kazuma stood near the window, holding another girl's hand affectionately. He's holding her hands the way he always holds mine. I blink a moment to see if this is real. This girl leans against him like I do...then she wraps her arms around his neck. I feel my eyes grow strained as they fill. I tilt my head to the side in confusion. I shake slightly as I try to hold in my tears. Then my eyes widen as she leans in to kiss Kazuma.
It's a damp cold night
I feel the cold now as Kazuma responds to this by wrapping his arms around her.
Tryin' to figure out this life.
Why doesn't he push her away? He doesn't love her...then I realize he doesn't love me...he doesn't love me at all! I just lose my senses for an instance. When I regain them I realize I ran away trying to understand. I lose myself with in the crowd of humans. I need to figure this out.
Won't you take me buy the hand; take me somewhere new.
I don't know how far I have run. I don't care anymore. I just had to get away from that. I can't take it. Why does it hurt so badly?! My tears scatter to the wind. I don't care who finds them! I stop to catch my breath and I slide down to the ground with knees drawn up. I'm under a tree I think. The rain doesn't hit me as hard. I hide my face and I cry. I just cry.
I don't care who you are, I
Then the rain doesn't fall on me anymore. Something's stopping it. I look up with tired eyes. My eyesight is a blur. All I can see is red. Red hair...red hair? Kurama...He squats down to look at me better. I just look back at him, my tears drying. He holds out his hand and I simply take it with a word. He could've been anybody. I didn't care I just wanted some one to care.
I'm with you...
I'm with you...
He takes me back to Genkai's place and he stays there with me as I cry my eyes more. He holds me and I feel safe. Kurama may not be my brother but he's there for me in his place. I think my brother told him to do that. I can't really enjoy his embrace though. I just keep thinking back to that. I try to recall everything before I ran away so I can know why I ran instead of facing him.
I'm looking for place
I'm searchin' for a face
Is anybody here I know
I delve into my mind's eye trying to get what happened. I'm searching the pain looking for the bridge and Kazuma's face. Suddenly, I'm back the bridge. I'm watching Kazuma kiss this strange girl with tears hitting the ground. I'm hurting. He breaks away from her mouth. He looks down on her with adoration and it hits me hard in my chest. As if feeling my saddened stare, Kazuma lets the girl go. She waves and saunters off. He turns to see me staring. I look down as if not seeing anything.
Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone
He walks to me as I turn my back. I take a breath and blink away my tears. he wraps his arms around me as he always does. The embrace feels so wrong now. He has nerve to speak as if nothing happened.
"Sorry Yukina baby. They didn't have your favorite," he says hugging me tight.
I tremble in his grasp. He continues. "but don't worry I'll get you more tomorrow. They'll have some by then. Did you have fun?"
Unable to speak, I nod. Kazuma then leans to my ear and whispers those words that use to mean so much to me. "I love you, Yukina."
That's when I tense up and pull away. Fury takes over my hands as I turn and strike him. He just simply looks confused and hurt.
"Baka! Baka yaro! How can you that to me?!" I scream not knowing what came out of my mouth. "you lied to me! You don't love me otherwise you wouldn't have kissed her!" I hit him again this time with my fist. I never knew I could even throw a punch and anyone. That's when I ran away! I ran and Kurama found me.
Isn't anybody tryin' to find me
Won't some one come and take me home
Shizuru comes in and sits next to me. she wraps an arm around me shaking her head. My older sister...that's what Shizuru is for me. When did Kurama get up to call her. I think I was too lost in thought to notice. He reseats himself and I fall into both their arms as they cradle me like the child that I finally realize I am.
It's a damp cold night
When they leave, I lie there and cry.
Tryin' to figure out this life
Why must I suffer so much? Why did he do this?
Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
Onisan, I need watching over me now. I need help! I want answers...I want to leave!
Don't know who you are but I'm
If some one comes to take me away from all this, I'd just go. It could more men like Tarukane, or demons like Tuguro! I just don't care I want to leave as long as it's with some one.
I'm with you I'm with you
Just take me somewhere else...with someone. I want to leave. I'm just so confused about this...I think it driving me crazy!
Oh why is everything so confusing? Maybe I'm just out of my mind Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah
That's it...I've lost my mind over this. It's just too traumatic. I know what it all feels like. The movies and TV shows, the way Shizuru looks at Sakyo's lighter. It all makes sense. But I couldn't understand it until it happened to me....it's just so cruel...
It's a damp cold night
It's still pouring outside.
Tryin' to figure out this life
I still don't understand
Won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new
I want to go somewhere without heart ache
Don't know who you are but I
I don't know who will answer my plea to leave... I don't care.
I'm with you I'm with you
I just want this hurt to stop...
A/N how was that? I'm getting pretty deep in little Yukina's psyche. Could be because she's one of my favorite characters. But anyway. You have a choice between these songs for Yukina's come back Emotion by Destiny's Child or Objection Tango by shakira. Both will fit just fine. So you pick.