Emotion
It's over and done
But the heartache lives on
Inside
And who is the one you're clinging to
Instead of me
Tonight
I'm sitting there in the dark looking around. It's over between us isn't it Kazuma. But it still hurts...I look up to see you lying in bed with that girl. You're holding her the way you did me when I would be exhausted from healing all of you. Who is she? Why did she take you away from me...why did you let her? You cling to her tighter and you look at me and then rest your head on that stranger's shoulder as if I don't matter. She also looks at me. A crude smile on her face and she tilts her head and kisses you again. My heart aches as I watch this. It makes feel as though I'm going to die!
And where are you now
Now that I need you
Kuzuma, I miss you. I'm not angry, please come back to me. I didn't mean to hit you. I'm sorry for what ever caused you to run to another's arms. I need you!
Tears on my pillow
Wherever you go
I wake to find more of my tears littering the ground. I'm creating such a collection. It doesn't matter though. Look at those reminders of my pain. I can see his smile in every one of them...
I cry me a river
That leads to your ocean
I just have the urge to lift my self up and gather them all. I want to bring my river of gems to him. To show him what he's done to me. Maybe he'll know how much he hurt me...then I realize how pathetic I sound...
You'll never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
I know it hurts and I know that this pain will take time to heal. I have to live with that now...but I don't want to. I'm not that strong. I can't keep it together. Not like Kurama-kun not like Shizuru-san...not even like you, aniki. Especially like you.
It's just emotion
Taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song I
f you don't come back
Come home to me darling
I'm not that strong...I want him back. If he came, I wouldn't make him apologize or anything. I just want him to come to me, whisper in my ear and hold me close! I want Kazuma-kun back! I can't take all of this...
Don't you know there's no
Nobody left in this world to hold me tight.
There's no one who can hold me like he could and make my heart beat
the way he does.
And don't you know there's no
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
There's no one who will come to me at night just before I pass out to kiss my lips the way he does...
Goodnight...
No one to whisper a sweet meaningful goodnight in my ear...
I've been at your side...
Apart of all the things you are
Yeah yeah
But you've gotta find some else oh
You've gotta go find you're shining star
We're still sitting here. He's holding me tight. That's all I want right now. I don't know how long it's been. A couple of hours I think...I don't care really. I must seem really pathetic to him right now. The last thing I wanted was to be depressed when he came to me. I lie still for a minute. He's asleep...I smile to myself, how cute... But as I lie there my smile fades as I realize how naïve I've truly been to Kazu...no Kuwabara's infidelity. It's been going on for so long and I've been too blind to see. I remember now...
We're in the park...I'm at his side as always. We had gone to the planetarium. He excused himself to buy me something to drink because I was thirsty... I just stayed where I was picking flowers...I only glanced up slightly and Kuwabara was leaving the stand with a drink for me...I looked down and...THERE...that girl I saw that night! She was there as well. How long has this been going on? Was he planning on leaving me from the start?
And where are you now?
Now that I need you?
How can he leave me like this? No this isn't happening...he's just at his house waiting for me to call him. I always do. I call him and he says hi and what's up. Then we talk and he says 'I love you.' I squeeze my eyes shut. It hurts so badly when I hear him say it in my mind. It's wrong but...I miss him...
Tears on my pillow
where ever you go
I feel new tears coming on again...I think all my youki will drain if I keep this up...making tear gems takes a bit of my youki but making so many might kill me... but it hurts so much.
I cry me a river
That leads to you're ocean
I let the hiruiseki hit the floor and hope it doesn't wake him. I silently cry...then I feel something spark inside me. Why are you sad? This spark asks me. Because he hurt me I answer. So you'll let him have the satisfaction of hurting you? Of seeing you like this? I don't answer. Where is this voice coming from? It's so warm... deep down. What ever it is...it's saving me from insanity over this.
You'll never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
I suddenly lift myself up waking my brother. He asks what's wrong...I don't answer. I just look at him then down at the floor with a blank stare. He closes his eyes as if looking into me and realizes something I do not.
It's just emotion
Taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song
If you don't come back
Come home to me darling
The spark says don't give in. it's just your emotions ruling you. It's you're only defense against this. This sorrow is fortifying you. Be strong...whose voice is this? No! I say back. I want him back I want him here with me. No! You do not!
Don't you know there's no
Nobody left in this world to hold me tight.
I need him to hold me and comfort me! You have your friends for that.
And don't you know there's no
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
I need to be kissed by him. To feel love through it. You have your brother for that.
Goodnight...
You have all you need to live without him. What more can he give you that you don't have now? I remain quiet...then I say, "You're right..."
And where are you now
Now that I need you
He said he loved me. If so then why isn't he here? He doesn't love and I accept that...
Tears on my pillow
Wherever you go
He can stay with her for all I care, right? He can stay and not another hiruiseki will form for him!
I'll cry me a river
That leads to you're ocean
I've cried enough over this. I've got to just live. I can't let this kill me. Not like this!
You'll never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
He'll never seem me torn from this. I'll be scarred but not broken the way I was. He'll never see me like this. I have a reason for living my life now...and it's not him!
It's just emotion
Taking me over
Caught up in sorrow
Lost in the song
If you don't come back
Come home to me darling
All this was just emotion. It was emotion's way of dealing with this for me...that's all I need...
Nobody left in this world to hold me tight.
Shizuru-san...Kurama-kun...my best friends
Nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Hiei...aniki. My black winged angel is watching over me.
Goodnight
I look at my brother again and I give my old genuine bright smile to him. I lay his arms again...he rests his head on mine...."goodnight," I whisper.
Goodnight
"Goodnight imouto-chan"
A/N; I haven't had a story come to me this naturally since Kitsune Rouge. Anyway. Okay peeps. Kuwabara's point of view is in the next chapter. You have a choice between Crazy by KC and JoJo or I Miss You by Blink 182. Give me review. Speakin' a-which I'm lovin' 'em! Keep 'em comin' and I'll keep the chapters comin!