Everytime
Notice me...
Take my hand...
"You can't!" I cry shaking my head for the hundredth time. "I won't let you. You've only stayed for two months. That's not enough!"
"I have to imouto-chan. Mukuro needs me back" he says passively. I stop him from putting on his scarf.
"But I need you here!" I say desperately. "Why does she always make you stay there so long? No one can have that little of control over their territory! Please, aniki!"
"I can't," he says firmly.
I cry. I just don't want him to leave. I'm so scared he won't comeback at all! I just can't bare that! My frustration and sadness are running down my face. He doesn't look at me and gently snatches his scarf from my trembling hands.
This angers me. I grab him by the shoulders and force him to look at me. "Aniki! Why is it every time I'm close to you, you up run away to Makai! Even now that I have you so close you're getting away from me! Why can't you just stay with me for once!"
Why are we...
Strangers when...
I wipe the tears away from her eyes and push her hands away lightly. I admit I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave her alone. I wonder if I'm paranoid or not but I know I saw Kuwabara lurking around the temple grounds. I don't think it was my imagination. I'm afraid he's waiting for me to leave like I am now and he's going to try something. Genkai is out of town right now. That leaves only one person to watch over her. Before I told her I was leaving I went to Kurama and demanded that he watch over her until I get back. He won't be able to come until tomorrow though. So told no one but him that I was leaving. That way that bastard won't know I'm gone until Kurama is here. I hope that's enough.
"I'm leaving you in Kurama's care. You'll be alright." I said more to myself than her. I had to leave before I changed my mind.
"I don't care. I won't be alright unless you're here!" she cries. "I don't like being alone!"
This hits me hard and I suddenly have the mind to take her with me. But I know Mukuro wouldn't have it and I wouldn't trust any of Mukuro's guards with her. I take my sister in my arms and I hold. I hope it stops her tears. It doesn't
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me...
We stand this way for a while. I look up from his chest. I don't want him to leave. I'm so mad at him because he's leaving me behind!
"You wouldn't leave me if I weren't such dead weight!" I say. "If I were strong like Mukuro I bet you'd stay with me the most!"
He pulls me off him and looks into my eyes. "Don't EVER say that. I never want to see blood thick on your hands as it is on Mukuro's and mine! Never wish to fight like us! I never want to see you kill. You don't deserve your life to be like mine!"
I cast and angry look back at him. "Then stay! You don't have to go! You just want to! You want to go to her so you can kill again! I don't kill and fight like you as much as I wish I could. If I could I could stay always! You just won't let me because I'm to weak to stay with you!"
Every time I try to fly
I fall
Without my wings I
feel so small.
I guess I need you baby
"Hai, that's exactly it."
That broke me. Saying that what I had accused him of was true...that just...I hate being so small. I hate he's stronger than me. I just hate being what I am. How can he even enjoy me as his sister when I can't go anywhere with him? I can't be there to help him. I can't do things he can do and protect people. I just want to...just once...just to go with him everywhere. But I can't! I just can't and it makes me so angry.
I turn my back to her. "Hai, that's exactly it." I quickly leave before she can stop me. I look back and see her fall to the floor crying. I'm sorry but I can't be there always. Besides, I leave for you. I have to get stronger and when I finally come back to stay, I'll be able to walk in the open with you and to hell with everything else. Until then, I have to leave you behind. You'll be safe. I promise I'll come back quickly. A bad feeling won't let me stay too long. It's barely letting me leave.
Every time I see you
In my dreams
I see your face
It's haunting me.
I guess I need you baby
I stay in that spot for a while. I pick up my tears and put them where they won't be found. I lie down trying to sleep. I don't want to think about him but I just keep seeing him hurt or worse...it's plaguing me.
I make believe
That you are here
I try to imagine that he didn't leave. That he didn't leave. That he's here watching me like always.
It's the only way
I see clear
I finally have clear picture of him. We're together and no one can bother us. Not Kuwabara not Mukuro...
What have I done?
You seem to move uneasy
But then he looks sad and turns away from me. I hold his face in both hands and he doesn't look at me. I ask what's wrong and he doesn't answer. He just moves away from me.
And every time I try to fly
I fall
Without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby.
A few hours later, I suddenly hear a knock at the temple door. I go up to him but I don't answer it. I see a familiar silhouette through the sliding door. For some reason my heart skips a beat and I'm scared.
"W-who's there?" I ask shakily knowing who will respond.
"It's me Kazuma. I saw the shrimp leave and thought you might need some company."
I knew it. "I'm sorry but no. I'm not in the mood Kuwabara." I say softly. "I just need to be alone right now."
"Please, I just want to come in as a friend. Really." he says in a pleading voice.
I sigh and I let him in.
Every time I see you
In my dreams
I see your face It's haunting me.
I guess I need you baby
I look down on my lost love. She's been crying I can tell. I'll make that shrimp pay for leaving her alone. She invites me to sit down and I rest on the floor. She does the same only across from me...she's so beautiful. I gaze at her face as I watch her wipe her eyes. I want her so badly. I know I was stupid for going back to her just before I went to Yukina but some things I just can't help. But now, I'm determined to have her back! I can't live with out her and I'll be damned if I do. Her figure seems a bit blurred to me though. I think I might have drunk a bit too much. But I'm in a right enough mine to talk to her.
He's been drinking. I can smell the strong liqueur all over him. His face is a bit red as well. Why'd he have to come to me this way? When he isn't in right mind? I chew on my bottom lip a bit.
"So why'd you want to come now? It's late." I ask trying to break this silence.
For a while he doesn't answer me. He just stares at me. I swallow and wait patiently. He finally speaks shaking his head. "I just wanted to be near you. I wanted this to be a chance to make amends and be you know, friends at least."
I don't trust this look in his eyes. His mouth says one thing and his eyes...they say another. Get away! That voice again. Why? What's going on? Just make him leave! You can't be alone with him right now! I nod to myself.
"Kuwabara, it's late. I should really sleep now. You can come back tomorrow." I say standing and going to him. I try to urge him to get up. He grabs my hand hard. I feel the hair on my neck stand on end. This isn't right. Get away from him! Obliging, I try to pull away from him but his grip is too tight.
I know I made it rain
He pulls me down and I fall to the floor. He pins me and touches my face. His eyes are mad and lost. I 'm suddenly terrified. My arms are beginning to throb under his weight. I kick at him as he climbs on top of me. He doesn't even feel it. Why did I let him in?!
He leans down and presses his mouth to mine. I taste the foul whiskey in his mouth as he forces his tongue into my mouth. I bite down and it surprises him long enough for me to get away.
Please forgive me....
I run out the temple heading down the stairs. Hopefully the stairs will slow him down. I hear him scream my name. He's after me still. I hear his uneven steps behind me. I don't look back though I just run! On the last step I trip hurting my leg. But I refuse to stop. I push myself up and run into the surrounding forest, the twigs cutting into my bare feet. He's still chasing me! Now I wish he wasn't so spiritually aware! A normal human would have given up on me. I think I'm lost now. I don't know which way to go now. I'm suddenly knocked down from the side. I curse myself for being weak. He tears at my kimono and I know I can't get away. I cry out when he bites my chest. I don't want to be here. I'll save you. Just close you're eyes. I suddenly feel like I'm retreating into myself. His hand falls between my legs and I scream out into the night.
"ANIKI!"
My weakness caused you pain....
I turn my head towards the portal to the ningenkai. I had finished my work with Mukuro as soon as I got there. It wasn't as important as she claimed. She just wanted me there. I look there for a while. I swear I heard Yukina's voice. I close my eyes and look through the jagan. I search inside the temple but I don't see her. I feel my stomach sink. I search the grounds and still no sign. I search the forests below the temple and what I see makes my stomach turn and my blood catch fire.
And this song's my sorry...
I try to get to the temple as soon as possible. I have to get there before it's too late. I run through the portal faster than I ever could before. Please don't do this to me fate. When I find him I'm going to kill him. I don't care if I get the death sentence! I want him dead!
At night I pray
That soon you're face will go away
I'm lying here. I can't move...Kuwabara's been gone for a while now. I'm somewhere dark and I can't feel anything. I look up to see another standing over me. it's a girl. She helps me up and I look at her funny. She looks like me. she has the same blood red eyes and my face. Her hair, though, it's so much more different than mine...it's beautiful. It reminds me of my aniki. It's black at the roots and strangely enough icy aqua blue like mine at halfway down. Her kimono is like mine but it's black. And it's torn to pieces. A trail of blood is running down her mouth and her neck and chest are bleeding a little. I try to reach out and heal her but she stops me. she smiles and points off into the darkness. Then I see my aniki...he's angry and he's picking up a limp body. It's mine! I look back at the girl and she pushes me forward. I go ahead and run towards this image. I look back her only to find her gone. Go back to him. You aren't ready to become what I am yet... I nod and run off again to my body. To my brother.
Every time I try to fly
I fall
Without my wings
I feel so small.
I guess I need you baby.
I pick her limp body up in my arms. She's covered in dry blood. His scent and the smell of alcohol are all over her. I never thought he would ever go that far. He has to pay for doing this. I carry her away from the temple and I feel her hand grab at my clothes.
"An...aniki?" she whispers weakly.
I shush her and I hold her close. "I'm so sorry."
She smiles at me with a swollen blood soaked mouth. "don't worry. I didn't feel it...I'm...I'm happy you came back to me, aniki."
I smile down at her and my jagan glows under the kekkai. I stop and pull it down. She looks up at it tiredly and her eyes fall shut. She needs to rest. Take her to the only place I know where she'll be safe. The Koorime Glacier. I receive stares as I carry my unconscious sister in my arms. They don't try to stop me, they're too scared. I bring her to a familiar house where a blue haired koorime woman stands. She looks at me and then at Yukina. She gives a sad look at motions for me to bring her in.
It took a few minutes to get rid of all the physical scars. But I know that one scar will never be healed. He stole her innocence from her. I had to make him pay!
And every time I see you in
My dreams
I see your face
It's haunting me
I guess I need you baby.
I wait there for a two days. That's how long it took for her to recover mentally and regain consciousness. She smiles slightly every now and then. She walks around feeling better that she's home. I decide then that I need to leave her there for a while. I told Rui that I had something to take care of and asked her to watch Yukina. She understood what was going through my head. She always did. She simply smiled and let me leave in the middle of the night. I had a mind set to kill and I knew what it would cost me. but I had to...I couldn't rest until he was dead.
A/N: okay don't flame me for this. But this is how I wanted the story to go. I figure hey, no one ever makes Kuwabara look bad. Stupid yes but never bad. I bet it makes you question his almighty honorability. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate Kuwabara it's just I think about things people look over. You all remember how fickle he was. And who knows he thinks behind closed doors! Anyway, the next one gets bit darker and it's all Hiei! So stayed tune for the next chapter. It's Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit!