Disclaimer: These – well, most of the characters involved in these discussions are my characters. People referenced are not. (Hey, it's not my fault the writers ignore the rank and file… but read on to find how dangerous that can be). This is… obviously… for entertainment purposes only.

Author's Note: Sorry this took so long… but the computer had to go to the shop… and it had all the files on it. The only thing I could work on was Summer Camp (and only because I'd just posted and had nothing more written). Again, I apologise, I apologise, I apologise. Still, I'd like to hear what you think. (That's right… the nice little review button. You are feeling very sleepy….you will listen to my suggestions… you want to review. You want to review. You will review. Now, awaken, feeling happy and refreshed. And please… review) Thank you to my beta readers… though another delay was from the one who lives ten minutes away from me. You'd think she'd have been able to get it back (I told you I was gonna blame you).

Chapter 4: The Thought Plickens

Narrator's note: The following account is based solely on third party recountings and therefore can neither be considered accurate nor admissible as evidence in any legal proceedings.

In a dark corridor deep in the bowels of the ship, the first official meeting of the EEU executive council comes to order.

"So far, aside from making Captain Archer cranky and uncomfortable, have we actually accomplished anything?" Acting Secretary[1] Amy Lysdale looks over a small pile of efficiency reports. "Admittedly the numbers show us down to a 68% rating… sixty-three for engineering, but from what we can observe, there has been no action on our demands."

"Well that's probably because we haven't presented our demands yet." Acting President Bitten steps in to clarify the situation. Every eye on the executive council fixes him with a dark look.[2]

"He hasn't asked for them yet." Bitten sighs. "Given the nature of our demands, we can't just walk up and tell him we want Lieutenant Hess and Commander Tucker returned to duty. He'll merely smile and nod and put 'Incitement to Mutiny' on the charge-list. We need to wait until he's ready to negotiate. Now, obviously our Work To Rule campaign is having little effect. Admittedly, he is cranky – which has actually helped our membership – but he's still not desperate enough. We need him to recognise the strength of our solidarity movement and realise that without the cooperation of the rank and file, his ship cannot properly function. I suggest, therefore, that we move on to the next phase of our job action."[3]

"I've been wondering about that," Acting PR Director Saunders finishes handing out the coffees and takes her place at the table.[4] "Surely the Captain can merely order us to work. A withdrawal of services… even with the backing of the union membership, could prove a risky endeavour."

"There is no reward without risk," Bitten begins to pace, playing to his audience. "However, I do believe I have a solution. As our legal advisor mentioned, we are considered to be a paramilitary organisation, much along the lines of a police force. Now one of the tactics used throughout policing history is the 'blue flu', or the 'sickout'. I suggest that this is the course of action we pursue."

"But… surely all Captain Archer need do is send us to Dr. Pholx. And he will confirm that we are not ill." Acting Treasurer Gurjit Singh looks dubious considering the prospect of a sickout.

"You're with Command Support, right?" Bitten gives her his most gentle smile.

"Yes, but…"

"Then it's understandable that you don't have an engineer's approach to this." The other engineers around the table nod, realising where he's going with this.

"You plan to engineer an illness?" Singh becomes a little nervous. Engineers with ideas do that to people.

"In a manner of speaking. Saunders… do you think you could get Dr. Phlox's scanner?" Bitten's smile widens as he sees understanding grow with the others.

"Yes, sir. I know Crewman Cutler would be happy to help us out in this instance. While she is fond of Dr. Phlox… she is also sympathetic to our situation." Since Crewman Cutler has had to work closely with Brigman and Schacter, it's hardly surprising. "And if she doesn't seem amenable… there are other ways of getting to the equipment."

"Excellent. Now we need something major enough to keep people away from work, but minor enough to not cause a panic. Not only that… but it has to be something that Phlox would let run it's course rather than treat it. We'll also have to make sure the scanners only identify the illness in the crewmen who participate in the sickout… because even Phlox will become suspicious if everybody has the same illness… symptoms or not."

"I'll get started on a program for that now." Lysdale grabs one of the pads and begins to make notes. Given that she's Acting Secretary, she should have been doing that all along… but some people just tend to gravitate to the wrong jobs. On the other hand… clandestine meetings probably shouldn't have note-takers.

"Perhaps something intestinal," Saunders suggests, "That will explain why we can't go to work… but it's rarely fatal."

Bitten nods. "We will, of course, have to let all involved know to make copious use of the facilities to make the story work. While I trust Captain Archer with my life, I don't trust him at all when it comes to my lies."

Everyone nods at that one. Captain Archer has had way too much experience with Commander Tucker to fall for anything except the most heavily backed up deception. Which is why the commander defaults to telling the truth,[5] which drives the captain crazy.

"So, what levels are we looking at here?" As a programmer, Lysdale tends to get a little obsessed with numbers.

"Mmmm, something around four percent to start, I would think. Move it up to six on day two… and we'll look at the expansion from there. Saunders… we're going to need you to find some volunteers. Try to get a wide representation… at this point we're still focussing on it looking real. As things progress it'll become obvious that it's a tactic… but hopefully by then the captain will be interested in getting things online again."

"At the very least, the senior crew will be on his case," Acting Armoury rep Devon McDale speaks up for the first time. "I know Lieutenant Reed suspects something is going on, but he can't confirm what. And given his reputation for paranoia… he's going to figure it out sooner or later."

"Yes, Lieutenant Reed could be a problem. Do you think you could inform him of our activities?"

"I think I can send him a few clues," McDale agrees. "What do you want him to look for?"

"Lieutenant Hess." The entire council cracks up at that one. "I've heard he's a little obsessed in that direction anyway."

"Is it true she actually broke his tooth?" Lysdale looks to McDale for confirmation.

"Well, apparently he broke it himself, but your lieutenant was definitely a mitigating factor." McDale grins. "He's not too happy with her right now."

Bitten grins as well. "Well… book says odds are 20-1 in her favour. So far she's been doing a pretty good job… and if I know Lieutenant Hess, she's not even trying."

The meeting ends with a flurry of people rushing to place their bets.[6]

[1] Without time for an actual election all positions are considered to be merely temporary.

[2] With the exception of his own. Talented as he is, Bitten still can't glare at himself without a mirror. Thus proving he is no Commander Tucker.

[3] He's been paying close attention to myself and Commander Tucker – maybe too much. Speechifying can be contagious.

[4] Absconded with from the mess hall. These are mostly engineers after all.

[5] Just not the whole truth. The trick is to figure out what details he's not giving you.#

[6] We make book on everything around here. Usually it's me, but given the current situation I've had to hand things off to Bitten. I mean I can hardly make the book when I'm the one they're betting on.

# And people say I talk like a lawyer